General things that Annoy you

bolloxbolder said:

British people pleased Federer beat Murray.

Nothing to do with his nationality, I just can't stand the geezer, bit like Arsenal in Europe.

Algarveaddick said:

guinnessaddick said:

Shocked at being charge £12.50 for a £124 postal order.

People trying to pay for stuff in a 1970s time warp...

Yeh, I know, it was that or a banker's draft.

Getting flagged by the guy above

cabbles said:

A work rant. I'm in a small office. Everyone is on tenterhooks to crack a joke or take the piss. I like a bit of banter at work but in this small office environment where people really grate on me, I can't stand it. Everyone's a bloody comedian, the two bosses especially. Nothing, absolutely nothing can be put back on them though. Any jokes at their expense are met with complete contempt because they're not in the mood to joke.

It's basically if one of them is happy, the whole office must share in the happiness. If things are shit and they or one of them is in a bad mood, a sombre atmosphere. Pathetic.

Sounds like you need this:

http://www.glitterretribution.co.uk/

cabbles said:

AFKABartram said:

@cabbles had a previous boss like that. Loved a joke, wind up, but had to be his joke or wind up.

Can't stand people that can't take what they give, and can't stand people who put it on those that don't give it. Humour bullies

Aye, they're the worst. And the fact that no one says anything means they go into an even more insular bubble of dictatorial comedy genius. The joys of work. Probably why I'm here all week.

charltonkeston said:

cabbles said:

Fiiish said:

cabbles said:

A work rant. I'm in a small office. Everyone is on tenterhooks to crack a joke or take the piss. I like a bit of banter at work but in this small office environment where people really grate on me, I can't stand it. Everyone's a bloody comedian, the two bosses especially. Nothing, absolutely nothing can be put back on them though. Any jokes at their expense are met with complete contempt because they're not in the mood to joke.

It's basically if one of them is happy, the whole office must share in the happiness. If things are shit and they or one of them is in a bad mood, a sombre atmosphere. Pathetic.

Sounds like you need this:

http://www.glitterretribution.co.uk/

It's mega agitations fiiish. My job is sales. A KPI for sales/us is phone times. I'm not a machine, sometimes my phone times will be low. I've been doing it for 9 years, It's a tedious pursuit. So we get the bollocking blah blah, I know this part of the big play. But what then takes the piss is I get back to my desk and make a conscious effort to get back on the phone, and she (one of the bosses) wants to tell me another stupid anecdote about her 7 god children. Without trying to be rude, I would hope that my lack of response and look of my face suggests I don't give a f***

Still, glitter idea looks good. At £6 a pop though I'd go bankrupt. So many people I'd want to do it too

You want to try working with a manager who has no humour, no anecdotes of his own only second hand ones from "friends"(neither funny or interesting), no interest in his or others work and still thinks he is the font of all knowledge.
He is the only person I have ever met, when speaking, I have given up in mid sentence and walked away.
Cabbles you've got it easy, at least your boss is capable of giving a bollocking.

Oh it was you walked away!

Try living with 4 women. They never listen either!

Just general shit workplace banter annoys me. The people who try to joke at the smallest things, like the other morning I bought a sandwich into work and someone goes 'Oh thanks for bringing my dinner in haha' except they do it at least twice a week to different people.

Bone Idlers at work.


My closest colleague at work

So in true CharltonLife-style hypocrisy, I'm going to recline my chair and take some time out from work to moan about people who don't do work.

I work with a lad who came here straight of university, and he's been here approximately 18 months or so. To put that in perspective, he may well actually be my age - but I edge him out on experience and general competence. I'm supposed to be a Senior on a small team, so when I'm not doing the usual things that everyone else is - then I'm facilitating or passing on concerns higher up. That's a fancy way of putting "I've got respect because I came here and began moaning immediately"; moaning is actually a very good talent of mine.

Now about this lad, he can't talk. I get that, I've worked in 6 teams full of developers and know a fair amount of us have the social skills of a badger. In fact, I've generally been known as the social developer wherever I've worked, and here is no difference. I used to be shy, and then came the drink and the girls and I became the charismatic lovable rogue that you all adore. However, when you sit next to someone and have 8 words spoken during a whole day - it's a bit difficult. Now I'm not saying that I should be a blueprint for what he should want to be, but I'm a pretty fecking incredible guy.

His work ethic is... interesting. Imagine a sloth trying to run a marathon; it isn't going to happen, the sloth is going to be pretty happy just chillaxing at the start line without really giving a crap, because hey - he's a sloth. Now imagine someone, for whom that sloth's enthusiasm and effort is actually something that would be an improvement; you now have my colleague.

He is, shall we say, a tad "pampered". He disappeared Friday two weeks ago, I knew he had a blood test at 9am as he had felt a bit under the weather, but imagine my surprise when he sends an email at 1150 saying he wont be in because the blood test has made him feel to weak. The only thing weak is that excuse; in fact, it's so weak I'm sure our lovable sloth from above could overpower it and make it his bitch.

When I don't see him for another 4 days I realise that nobody has been logging his sickness, so I get someone to find out how he's doing, and in his own words - "I have a minor vitamin deficiency so I'm taking these vitamin capsules and watching TV". He spent a week in this routine of sipping water and vitamin capsules, I had to admire his desire to beat such a horrific affliction.

Every morning, Stuart the Sloth, will arrive at around 0920; he's been doing it since before I arrived so I presume he has some form of permission. Interspersed between his hectic routine of randomly disappearing, crossing the road if he see's you outside the office, going to Pret, browsing the internet and so on - he will somehow manage to summon the effort to do an hour or so of work. Now forgive me if I'm wrong, but I think I'm being unfair on sloths, as I'm sure they spend more than 18% of their time eating - which is more effort than he puts in to working.

However, being the positive young chap that I am, I've embraced this new work environment and the attitudes that I'm being exposed too. I'm sure it will help me out when I put it on my CV and I finally attempt to fulfill my lifetime desire of working in a fucking zoo.

People on the train still wearing their office/building passes for all to see.

MrLargo said:

man_at_milletts said:

People on the train still wearing their office/building passes for all to see.

I started wearing my security pass from dawn to dusk on work days about 3 months ago. Prior to that, I used to keep it in my pocket with my other cards, but found that I was continually trying to swipe into work with my Oyster card, trying to swipe through the train ticket barriers with my security pass, and repeatedly mislaying my security pass, leaving it at home, on my desk etc.

Attaching my security pass to a clip on my belt has changed my life for the better. However, I'm well aware that wearing my pass in public places looks ridiculous and possibly gives the impression that I'm wearing something akin to a human luggage tag, to enable passers-by to easily establish my identity in the event of my being a struck by severe amnesia. I'll try and cover up on the train in future.

hide your work pass while you're at it mate....

brogib said:

man_at_milletts said:

People on the train still wearing their office/building passes for all to see.

I use to do that with my BBC one, it made up for my Rentokil polo ffs

I think everyone knew the BBC was full of rats and cockroaches without you broadcasting it

brogib said:

cafcdave123 said:

brogib said:

man_at_milletts said:

People on the train still wearing their office/building passes for all to see.

I use to do that with my BBC one, it made up for my Rentokil polo ffs

I think everyone knew the BBC was full of rats and cockroaches without you broadcasting it

Still is

You don't like the BBC? Do tell us more.

cafcdave123 said:

Redskin said:

brogib said:

cafcdave123 said:

brogib said:

man_at_milletts said:

People on the train still wearing their office/building passes for all to see.

I use to do that with my BBC one, it made up for my Rentokil polo ffs

I think everyone knew the BBC was full of rats and cockroaches without you broadcasting it

Still is

You don't like the BBC? Do tell us more.

Now then, now then, what could it be........

That's one very good reason Dave pal

Sneezing whilst holding a cup of coffee.

The 3-4 seconds before the aforementioned sneeze, when you look around and realise that you can't get the cup to a flat surface in time to save the day.