I've had to deal with this a couple of times, the first I called the bloke in and said so & so said you smell.
The second time I asked the bloke what time he gets in work, he answered was about 15 minutes before I'm due to start work. I replied come in 5 minutes before you are due to start work and spent the 10 minutes in the shower.
There is one of my peer group who is well crabby, if he's in the pub tomorrow, in this weather, I'll avoid him and if he gets in close I'll always tell him to get upwind of me. He sheepishly aknowledges it's bathtime and it's not too awkward.
Now I've just remembered the time the pub had a guy working and as he served me I remarked on the state of the air quality. This new dude just said 'yeah that's probably me, I get a fungal discharge in my sweat glands'.
Both me and the landlord spat our drinks out. If he was registered on this site he'd probably have a comment in the sacking thread about his short lived career as a barman
Reading this thread from the beginning until cabbles admitting he's a bottler like
I bottled it. I couldn't do it. The guy doesn't have much about him socially. New to the company. A real shitter - handed it back to my MD
I deserve all my ridicule
To be fair it is a shitter, don't think anyone on this thread envies you or would offer to take your place.
Constantly bad BO is usually either down to poor self-esteem/mental health, having no social life or a medical issue so either way you're probably going to look completely insensitive even when that's not your intent.
Got pulled up for this in my first office job. There was no dress code, but I was the only one who wore trainers. There was an unpleasant smell in the office all the time that did smell vaguely of feet. I get paranoid about these things so sloped off to the toilet to have a quick sniff check. It wasn't me. On my way back to my desk I got pulled into the managers office. He was clearly struggling to say what he had to say and being the unpleasant little shit I was I wasn't making it easy for him. When he eventually blurted it out, I did the whole mock outrage routine, took both trainers off and knowing full well they didn't smell put them on his desk and invited him to check his facts! He looked mortified - I assume he thought he was about to get poisoned!!!! His face when no smell was apparent was a picture. Waltzed out of his office without putting my trainers back on and plonked them on my desk while I ate lunch. The two old dears working near me weren't happy, but I enjoyed the afternoon immensely.
This is the most Charlton thing ever. It had an encouraging start, there were some great moments and there was a real sense of community about it. Then it went to shit.
Thanks Cables, for reminding us that there is no escape from the disappointments of being a Charlton fan.
This is the most Charlton thing ever. It had an encouraging start, there were some great moment and there was a real sense of community about it. Then it went to shit.
Thanks Cables, for reminding us that there is no escape from the disappointments of being a Charlton fan.
This is the most Charlton thing ever. It had an encouraging start, there were some great moment and there was a real sense of community about it. Then it went to shit.
Thanks Cables, for reminding us that there is no escape from the disappointments of being a Charlton fan.
2 b's
No. No. I've deliberately left the second b out because I know it annoys you. You don't deserve it. You've lost the right to it. You'll get that b back when you fucking earn it
I read this with interest earlier, but when cabbles bottled it I felt ruined. I was looking forward to him posting either from his hospital bed, or a couple of days afterwards from under his desk as the bloke turned up on a kill crazy rampage.
Think about it - now you've got to tell him tomorrow, and ruin the poor fucker's weekend. Mind you, if he stinks as bad as you're making out he's got no chance of pulling anyway, so probably won't make a lot of difference to him.
I'd approach this like Jordan Belfort. Smash a massive line of racket out in the bog, then take a downer to even you out, before piling back in and telling him "notbeingfunnymatebutyoufuckingstinkeveryoneintheofficethinkssobuttheyhaventgotthebollockstotellyouhaveafuckingshowerorsomethingenjoytheweekendladseeyouonmonday"
I worked at a place here in Oz where they hired a new Aboriginal guy to work in the warehouse, he was only about 19/20 years old.
He was a fat fucker but the real problem was that he smelt utterly rank, he wore the same clothes constantly - this same old manky tracksuit but the rest of his work mates could not hack his smell and asked the MD to sort it out.
You have to remember that dealing with Aboriginal issues in the workplace is very sensitive, there are lots of cultural and social issues to take into account and if my boss [an Englishman] had just steamed in and said, "Gerard, you're a smelly fucker, get it sorted," then he would have been in all sorts with the follks from ATSIC [the Aboriginal representative group].
So, the company lawyer, who was an absolute MILF by the way, advises the MD, Chris, to ask Gerard to bring his 'Auntie' to work so they can all have a chat, in Aboriginal culture an Auntie or Uncle is the leader of the local community and often helps the young ones as parents are often not around.
So, Gerard comes in with Auntie Margaret, an Aborginal woman in her 70s but as sharp as a tack and took no shit from anybody.
Chris was shitting himself but steeled himself and said, "Look Gerard, this is a really sensitive issue, but there have been a few complaints about your personal hygiene, it gets pretty warm in the warehouse so it might be an idea to try and be a bit fresher when you're at work."
The in-house Lawyer was mortified that he had been so direct and said, "Of course, we understand that there could be some cultural or social explanation for this problem, so we wanted you both to come in so we could discuss it privately."
Apparently, it was deadly silence for a few seconds and then finally Margaret rose to leave and addressed.
"There's no problem here boss,' she said, "Gerard's always been a smelly bugger, we're always telling him to have a wash and make an effort but he won't listen, hopefully this will make him wake up to himself."
Sad to say that Gerard left that day with Auntie Margaret and was never seen at work again, although his scent lingered on for many months to come.
Missed this thread initially due to time differences.
I once had to tell one of my staff that we'd had complaints about his bad breath and it was disgusting. I went to my HR department and they told me not to beat about the bush, just call him into my ofice and tell him. The aroma of halitosis hit me as soon as he came in and sat down and I was just straight with him and tokd him he needs to visit the dentist and get it sorted out. He was fine about it, and I surprised myself with my bluntness.
This put me in good stead when I had to eject a smelly guest from our dorm here in Phuket. We had loads of complaints from fellow backpackers, so I just told him outright: "Chris, I've had so many complaints about your B.O. that I think it's better that you leave. I won't charge you for last night." He packed his rucksack and was out within minutes, making me wonder whether this was his way of wangling free accommodation across Asia
When in doubt, throw your colleagues under the bus...
Joan in Accounts, Bob in Sales and Petronella in Marketing say you smell terrible, personally due to a medical condition I can't smell a thing but Joan, Bob & Petronella asked me to ask you to try using deodorant...
Comments
@Carter
The second time I asked the bloke what time he gets in work, he answered was about 15 minutes before I'm due to start work. I replied come in 5 minutes before you are due to start work and spent the 10 minutes in the shower.
There is one of my peer group who is well crabby, if he's in the pub tomorrow, in this weather, I'll avoid him and if he gets in close I'll always tell him to get upwind of me. He sheepishly aknowledges it's bathtime and it's not too awkward.
Now I've just remembered the time the pub had a guy working and as he served me I remarked on the state of the air quality. This new dude just said 'yeah that's probably me, I get a fungal discharge in my sweat glands'.
Both me and the landlord spat our drinks out. If he was registered on this site he'd probably have a comment in the sacking thread about his short lived career as a barman
Good luck with the beer on tap he is an alcoholic and works when he feels like it, this is a better incentive than I can offer.
I deserve all my ridicule
Constantly bad BO is usually either down to poor self-esteem/mental health, having no social life or a medical issue so either way you're probably going to look completely insensitive even when that's not your intent.
Turned out a drain under the office was blocked.
Thanks Cables, for reminding us that there is no escape from the disappointments of being a Charlton fan.
We have one whose Gooch kicks up a proper dirty bomb
We all just say to him.you fucking stink sort that shit out tomorrow or walk behind the van
By and large, the rest of thr guys are not particularly PC or sympathetic to the needs/feelings of others.
He is now known as "Shit Breath".
Think about it - now you've got to tell him tomorrow, and ruin the poor fucker's weekend. Mind you, if he stinks as bad as you're making out he's got no chance of pulling anyway, so probably won't make a lot of difference to him.
I'd approach this like Jordan Belfort. Smash a massive line of racket out in the bog, then take a downer to even you out, before piling back in and telling him "notbeingfunnymatebutyoufuckingstinkeveryoneintheofficethinkssobuttheyhaventgotthebollockstotellyouhaveafuckingshowerorsomethingenjoytheweekendladseeyouonmonday"
Then just duck out.
He was a fat fucker but the real problem was that he smelt utterly rank, he wore the same clothes constantly - this same old manky tracksuit but the rest of his work mates could not hack his smell and asked the MD to sort it out.
You have to remember that dealing with Aboriginal issues in the workplace is very sensitive, there are lots of cultural and social issues to take into account and if my boss [an Englishman] had just steamed in and said, "Gerard, you're a smelly fucker, get it sorted," then he would have been in all sorts with the follks from ATSIC [the Aboriginal representative group].
So, the company lawyer, who was an absolute MILF by the way, advises the MD, Chris, to ask Gerard to bring his 'Auntie' to work so they can all have a chat, in Aboriginal culture an Auntie or Uncle is the leader of the local community and often helps the young ones as parents are often not around.
So, Gerard comes in with Auntie Margaret, an Aborginal woman in her 70s but as sharp as a tack and took no shit from anybody.
Chris was shitting himself but steeled himself and said, "Look Gerard, this is a really sensitive issue, but there have been a few complaints about your personal hygiene, it gets pretty warm in the warehouse so it might be an idea to try and be a bit fresher when you're at work."
The in-house Lawyer was mortified that he had been so direct and said, "Of course, we understand that there could be some cultural or social explanation for this problem, so we wanted you both to come in so we could discuss it privately."
Apparently, it was deadly silence for a few seconds and then finally Margaret rose to leave and addressed.
"There's no problem here boss,' she said, "Gerard's always been a smelly bugger, we're always telling him to have a wash and make an effort but he won't listen, hopefully this will make him wake up to himself."
Sad to say that Gerard left that day with Auntie Margaret and was never seen at work again, although his scent lingered on for many months to come.
Winters coming soon
Seriously, go for it. Difficult I know but I have had this conversion with a colleague. He was shocked but it sorted the problem.
Brilliant thread!
The smell of bodily odor and failure
I once had to tell one of my staff that we'd had complaints about his bad breath and it was disgusting. I went to my HR department and they told me not to beat about the bush, just call him into my ofice and tell him. The aroma of halitosis hit me as soon as he came in and sat down and I was just straight with him and tokd him he needs to visit the dentist and get it sorted out. He was fine about it, and I surprised myself with my bluntness.
This put me in good stead when I had to eject a smelly guest from our dorm here in Phuket. We had loads of complaints from fellow backpackers, so I just told him outright: "Chris, I've had so many complaints about your B.O. that I think it's better that you leave. I won't charge you for last night." He packed his rucksack and was out within minutes, making me wonder whether this was his way of wangling free accommodation across Asia
Joan in Accounts, Bob in Sales and Petronella in Marketing say you smell terrible, personally due to a medical condition I can't smell a thing but Joan, Bob & Petronella asked me to ask you to try using deodorant...