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Am I being selfish?

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  • I didn't want this turned into an argument, thank you to everyone that has stood up for me but really its fine, as I said I welcome the different opinions it gives me a wider perspective.

    My mum has booked and paid for his flight over he is coming on his 31st birthday 12th Septrmber. By all accounts it was difficult to book a one way ticket and that was the earliest they could get. But at least I have a date and time to prepare myself.

    Cook him a nice roast pork dinner to make him feel really welcome!
  • I didn't want this turned into an argument, thank you to everyone that has stood up for me but really its fine, as I said I welcome the different opinions it gives me a wider perspective.

    My mum has booked and paid for his flight over he is coming on his 31st birthday 12th Septrmber. By all accounts it was difficult to book a one way ticket and that was the earliest they could get. But at least I have a date and time to prepare myself.

    Cook him a nice roast pork dinner to make him feel really welcome!
    My day has been shit but this has made me smile :-)

  • Today is the day...
  • Best of luck!
  • I genuinely hope it goes well. Fingers crossed he turns out to be the nicest man in the world!
  • And if it doesn't go well, let me know and i'll forward you DRF's postal address for him to go and stay at :-)
  • And I may well do that AFKA today is also his birthday and yo confuse the hell out of my mother I sent him a birthday card to her address hehehe :-D
  • have you met him sadie?
  • Did you set your alarm just to get up early and find out Oohaah? - LOL

    I think we are all on tenterhooks with this one, hope it turns out okay SJ.
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  • There were an awful lot of ambulances and police cars near my house last night - I hope that wasn't Sadiejanes.
    How long do we leave it before going round to hers and digging up the patio to find her (or him)?
  • I haven't met him yet no one has, he arrived last night and she called me this morning to tell me about it. My brother has gone away for a few days so hasn't yet had the pleasure. I will probably meet him on Monday.

    The thing that confuses me is that my mum is talking to his brother on phone and online, she is also friends with his cousin, and some of his friends, would Saif really let her make these friendships if he is planning on leaving her?
  • "The name Saif is a Muslim baby name. In Muslim the meaning of the name Saif is: Sword. Saber.

    People with this name have a deep inner desire to use their abilities in leadership, and to have personal independence. They would rather focus on large, important issues, and delegate the details.

    People with this name are competent, practical, and often obtain great power and wealth. They tend to be successful in business and commercial affairs, and are able to achieve great material dreams. Because they often focus so strongly on business and achievement, they may neglect their private lives and relationships."
  • he'll be as Saif as 'ouses (:>)
  • SJ. Hope it goes well but there is an advantage to being together for 2 years and there are of course advantages to bed and board. Of course my concerns might be unfounded. But you won't be able to tell for sure for years
  • edited September 2013

    I haven't met him yet no one has, he arrived last night and she called me this morning to tell me about it. My brother has gone away for a few days so hasn't yet had the pleasure. I will probably meet him on Monday.

    The thing that confuses me is that my mum is talking to his brother on phone and online, she is also friends with his cousin, and some of his friends, would Saif really let her make these friendships if he is planning on leaving her?

    If he's cold and calculating, and they're in on it/seen it all before why would he care ?

    I read this thread with interest but I need to remind myself it's real life for you, with very real consequences. I truly hope it all works out and when you meet him he's a decent bloke who quickly wins you over by showing you his Derek Hales tattoo after revealing himself to be a lifelong Addick.
  • edited September 2013
    se9addick said:

    I haven't met him yet no one has, he arrived last night and she called me this morning to tell me about it. My brother has gone away for a few days so hasn't yet had the pleasure. I will probably meet him on Monday.

    The thing that confuses me is that my mum is talking to his brother on phone and online, she is also friends with his cousin, and some of his friends, would Saif really let her make these friendships if he is planning on leaving her?

    If he's cold and calculating, and they're in on it/seen it all before why would he care ?

    I read this thread with interest but I need to remind myself it's real life for you, with very real consequences. I truly hope it all works out and when you meet him he's a decent bloke who quickly wins you over by showing you his Derek Hales tattoo after revealing himself to be a lifelong Addick.
    You forgot knowledge of hoofball :-)

  • I met him, briefly however, my husband refused to go in so I had to be quick.

    I knocked at the door at just after 11am and my mum said he was still in bed. She went and woke him up and said I was there.

    He emerged a few minutes later, first impression was he looks very young younger than I was expecting, second impression was that he needs a good meal he is so thin looks like I could break him if I pushed him. Then he smiled and his teeth were enormous, with his enormous teeth extra long eye lashes and his bed head he looked like donkey from shrek!

    Looks aside, he never came across as I wanted him too. I wanted him to be cocky or arrogant, rude and standoffish, or at least a bit smarmy. But he was polite, he kept smiling looked me in the eye and seemed very pleasant. He did seem nervous but in a nerdy way, if I met him under different circumstances I would have said he was a nice guy. I am not under that illusion and I still don't trust him, I know that he is probably putting in an act, but it is a good one.

    My fear of him using her to get into England then doing one, is very much still there but it will really hit her hard if he does. My fear of him becoming a controlling woman beater however, is now gone as he is tall but very slight, he looks like he is made of cardboard. I am still worried that he has HIV or something similar as the stupid woman is having unprotected sex. But I think as he isn't as good looking as she thinks he is (photos are deceptive) maybe he was just grateful for the interest?

    I have no idea really how this will pan out, but my mother today seemed happier than I've ever seen her. That is priceless, even if it only lasts a few weeks its nice to see her happy.
  • Sadie, you've probably learned over the last few yours it is a crazy, sometimes messed up, sometimes unfair world.

    Work hard at the bits you can impact upon, and the things you can't, well sometimes you've just got to roll with it.
    Quote
  • Hope it all goes well Sadie. You'd guess that he'd make sure the relationship lasts at least two years then, going on the visa rules.

    Did they meet online then? I can't remember how it started.
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  • Hope it all goes well Sadie. You'd guess that he'd make sure the relationship lasts at least two years then, going on the visa rules.

    Did they meet online then? I can't remember how it started.

    She went to Tunisia for Christmas in 2011 and met him then, he was working in the hotel.
  • I understand that you want your mum to be happy Sadie but if your suspicions are correct then you gotta be prepared to pick her up from being just as low. Must be a horrible situation and I hope it works out for you and your mum in the end.
  • If he insists that all the women wear hijabs for Christmas dinner, you need to put your foot down.
  • its got jeeza kyle all over it SJ 8)
  • its got jeeza kyle all over it SJ 8)

    I'd better get my giant earrings out and my pink track suit washed then init blud! Lol

  • and take a tooth out


    can we be in the audience a lifer day out
  • QUOTE: "With his enormous teeth extra long eye lashes and his bed head he looked like donkey from Shrek."

    For some reason I keep imaging a Tunisian with an Eddie Murphy voice, just doesn't feel right.
  • I'm having a tooth out next week, great timing!

    What would the headline be?... My mum married a donkey from Africa who's Barely out of nappies! Lol
  • QUOTE: "With his enormous teeth extra long eye lashes and his bed head he looked like donkey from Shrek."

    For some reason I keep imaging a Tunisian with an Eddie Murphy voice, just doesn't feel right.

    That has made me laugh hard!! Lol
  • I have been thinking of headlines but had to keep deleting them SJ

    DNA
    lie detectors

    have to be in there some where *)
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