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Am I being selfish?

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  • Hope things work out ok sadie.
  • Only thing I would say about the buying things. I buy gifts for my girlfriend and she buys stuff for me. What you are implying might well be true but I'd be careful using that as something against your Mum's boyfriend.

    Hope everything ends up for all involved.
  • ugh! he was 11 days old when I was born.

    Whats his name?

    Mustafa Biggun

  • Sadie, when he comes over to UK, plonk him down in front of the tv, replay the game from Friday, and tell him to be accepted into the family he has to support Charlton - he'll soon do a runner.
  • Whisper in his ear .. 'my mum is actually Jewish, but we don't care if you're a muslim' .. won't see his arse for dust
  • he supports chelsea apparently, never heard of charlton. My mum thought I would be happy that she said 'All the family support charlton, so you'll have to change' couldn't care less he'll probably do a runner as soon as he gets off the plane.
  • Whisper in his ear .. 'my mum is actually Jewish, but we don't care if you're a muslim' .. won't see his arse for dust

    lol
  • Can he play in midfield ?
  • edited September 2012
    Like others have said, she's a grown up, capable of making her own decisions. Just be there for her when, unfortunately for her, it all goes wrong. Which sadly I think it will after reading your update. Think most will have a feeling about his true motives.

    All the best Sadie.
  • How many years would they have to be together for you to be 'OK' with it? I fear that you may start to feel bad about not accepting him into the family if it does last.
    Maybe you should put the bad feelings behind you and welcome him in. You can always stab him in the ees if your worst fears do come to pass.

    Are they living out there or back here?
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  • deed done!

    never thought I'd feel this sick :-(

    @DRF they are planning on living together out here (well she is) hence why he is has married her. I will accept it when he gets off the plane and doesnt do a runner.
  • A bank loan to pay for his VISA.....just interested, how much does it cost a Tunisian to get a UK VISA ?
  • she said 1000
  • He might have trouble getting the visa. What will your mum do then?
  • I hate to say this but the old saying about there' s no fool like an old fool is very true.
    Knew a guy of 60 married a Cuban girl of 20. When he died she had everything, The mansion,cars, money the lot. His offspring were left with nothing.
    I think this charmer sees your poor old mum as a meal ticket for life,
  • He might have trouble getting the visa. What will your mum do then?

    She thinks she will be living 'out there' if he can't live here even after an appeal. But he has already given her the line 'but what would you do here? you don't speak the language.' and 'I don't want that life for you...'

    What she doesn't realise is that if he can't get the visa he has no use for her anymore.

    @CV you are totally right :-(
  • hnmmmmmm..... read with interest....

    funny old world, eh!

    hope this pans out well for your mum sadie....

    on the positive side.... she is having a great time right now....and isn't losing vast sums of money

    it's gonna hurt IF it goes wrong.... but she must have had enough warnings to be keeping a little bit of her heart back for herself methinks.....

    only a grand down so far.......

    just don't let it get worse

    ummmmm....I guess you should try to make her feel good about her new wedding day and stuff though.... she knows what you think.... but she still needs your support.... might as well milk the happiness part, eh...

    will be thinking of your situation from time to time
  • Sadie, what does your Dad think?
  • edited September 2012
    5% they live happily ever after in England 2% your mum ups sticks and learns the lingo and lives happy ever after out there
    90% it'll be over with within 2 years and you'll have to be there to help heal the wounds for mummy
    3% you rock up with the ten inch tunisian and appear on Jeremy Kyle in a love triangle ;-)
  • Sadie, what does your Dad think?

    Same really but without the love stuff
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  • 5% they live happily ever after in England 2% your mum ups sticks and learns the lingo and lives happy ever after out there
    90% it'll be over with within 2 years and you'll have to be there to help heal the wounds for mummy
    3% you rock up with the ten inch tunisian and appear on Jeremy Kyle in a love triangle ;-)

    As i am faithfully and happily married to an Englishman that I have known over half my life and is near enough my age, you can re-distribute that last 3%.

    I would put it with the 90.
  • Worked and lived in egypt for a bit and saw this all the time the lads are real charmers and it was funny watching older ladies get sucked in by it but also talked to a lot who actually went out there with that purpose so they knew what they was getting into.just couldnt see why myself but maybee some just want a bit of sparkle back in their life and maybee in their mind a balding 50/60 year just dosnt do it for them?
  • SJ I missed the latest update but found it when I looked to see if there was one, as was wondering how you were and what had happened. What has happened about the visa application? You can check the fees online, but it does not cost £1,000
  • Worked and lived in egypt for a bit and saw this all the time the lads are real charmers and it was funny watching older ladies get sucked in by it but also talked to a lot who actually went out there with that purpose so they knew what they was getting into.just couldnt see why myself but maybee some just want a bit of sparkle back in their life and maybee in their mind a balding 50/60 year just dosnt do it for them?

    bleedin' cheek.
  • Hiya it cost £900 about anyway, it was turned down for 2 reasons she was earning £100 pa too little and he had wrong English speaking certificate. She has got a loan out to pay for visa plus her trip that she has just got back from on top of the £2000 debt she already racked up. She has also lost her job. They are not appealing decision but instead re-applying when she has found another job. Meanwhile she is already upto her eyeballs in debts with no way to pay them :(( X
  • J BLOCK said:
    No disrespect but what did that woman really think a 28 year old saw in her. I don't want to sound mean but no one on here would even post on the thread if she was a WouldYa. Never mind getting involved with her at 28!

    It's obvious she thought she was running the risk of getting ripped off otherwise she wouldn't have kept it from her family. Frankly she deserves all she gets.
  • Defo fishy
  • Are they still together even though his visa application was rejected?
  • It was the story kha posted that made me wonder how sj was getting on. IMHO the debt seems to have started so I am still very sceptical about the situation. That's awful about losing her job; particularly if the relationship/trips have anything to do with it. And getting another job, at the required salary to sponsor the visa (a new requirement recently introduced), not necessarily straightforward. He might be patient; if it is genuine or if he thinks he's going to get the outcome he wants.
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