Ideally I think you need someone you trust to go out there and just observe the gentleman in question, see if he's up to the same thing with other people whilst your mum's back in the UK. Of course, that is something that would take time and money to achieve so might not be an option.
If he gets 2 the UK, the cost 2 the country could be a lot more than any individual he might 'win over'. I feel for you Sadie as you are in a no win situation with your relationship with your mum. As for her, I'm worried she will get badly hurt & lose a lot of money. I love the idea of sending someone out to test him-I'd do it! They could pretend to have mega bucks & see how he reacts!
Go there on holiday yourself and see if he tries to pull you.
No chance, have you seen Sadie? Mind you she might get lucky and find a young Turk who likes his women with a pint in one hand, a fag in the other playing poker for 8 hours a night. :-)
You know I am only joking SJ, I hope all this turns out for the best x
It's probably too late. But it wouldn't hurt if she casually made it known that she was skint. Perhaps, when she's due to go over there next, say she's struggling to find the money & not sure she can afford to go. See how he reacts. Ask him to lend her the air fare ?
Difficult one. You have a right to be concerned .. the odds are strongly in favour of him being a gigolo and/or looking to get a ticket to ride to England. On the other hand if he is making your mum feel young again and is making her happy, it is her life. Let's hope that mum IS indeed treating the thing as a holiday romance and not considering a life time commitment. If I were you I would approach your mum in as lighthearted as way as possible. Air your concerns but in a humorous and not a lecturing, hectoring fashion. There has been enough evidence of older women being made a fool of by younger and suave dusky, sexy hunks (and ugly ones come to that). Just make her aware that the situation is not to be taken lightly. B T W, many older men fall for unsuitable younger women as I am sure you are aware. Good Luck S J
Go there on holiday yourself and see if he tries to pull you.
No chance, have you seen Sadie? Mind you she might get lucky and find a young Turk who likes his women with a pint in one hand, a fag in the other playing poker for 8 hours a night. :-)
You know I am only joking SJ, I hope all this turns out for the best x
Oi how dare you! I don't smoke! ;-)
Sadie how old are your brothers , if it was me , I would fly out there myself and check the fella out , he seems a good looking lad and I doubt your mum is the only one , so turning up unannounced for a weekend I am sure your brothers would soon catch him out , and leave him in no doubt what they will do to him if he goes near your mum again.
The problem is your mum is happy and needs to be able to make her own mistakes , so by following my advice they risk their relationship with their mum
They are 23 (he is Charlton) and 25 (he is very handy has what of a reputation) The 23 year old and his long term girlfriend are planning on visiting Tunisia and 'befriending' Saif. I am not sure it would work, as I said though they have each other on facebook so he would have seen her pictures.
I know I should sit back and wait for her to make her own mistakes but she has lots of family abroad but yet is wasting her annual leave and spare cash on this conman. :-(
I will be cruel to be kind I think. She has an awful habit of falling for the wrong men.
The minute visas or money are mentioned, there's a problem. Until then let it run it's course. My uncle-in-law's ex-wife got caught for ten grand in a similar scenario, and she is (apparently) no mug...
if he is what i think he is then she needs to be very careful.
I could be totally wrong and they might actually be very much in love but ive seen these sort of situations arise far too much and with a painful ending.
people that use and play with other peoples emotions for financial or personal gain are the scum of the earth.
I can't see that this is any different to a friend getting into a bad relationship. It may be obvious to all the world but you will never talk someone out of it. They have to realise for themselves and the more you push the more you push them together.
You just have to be there if it does end - and try to think of it as if not when.
The only time to get really concerned is if she starts talking about giving him money. Whilst she's going over to him I really cant see the harm.
Hi Sadie - I'd go down the route of trying to expose him such as suggested above. It's all well and good to say 'don't interfere' and 'let it run it's course' but your mum could burn an awful lot of financial and emotional capital before that happens.
If any fathers on here see their young daughter besotted by an obvious loser I would defy any of them not to be trying to subtly steer her away from him - this isn't really any different - difficult to sit back and watch an impending car crash without trying to do something about it.
Your decision obviously, but I would be cruel to be kind - I'm sure she'll thank you for it in the end.
If something appears to be too good to be true it normally is.
You do have to be so careful how you approach this - sometimes family rifts don't get resolved - my mother only found out about my uncle's death a year after he died.
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Would ya - I certainly would!
Unless your talking about Saif????????
She obviously hasn't been to Essex cos she certainly wouldn't be messing about with no Tunisian if she had!
How tall is he?
You know I am only joking SJ, I hope all this turns out for the best x
Ask him to lend her the air fare ?
give her my number 8=)
They are 23 (he is Charlton) and 25 (he is very handy has what of a reputation) The 23 year old and his long term girlfriend are planning on visiting Tunisia and 'befriending' Saif. I am not sure it would work, as I said though they have each other on facebook so he would have seen her pictures.
I know I should sit back and wait for her to make her own mistakes but she has lots of family abroad but yet is wasting her annual leave and spare cash on this conman. :-(
I will be cruel to be kind I think. She has an awful habit of falling for the wrong men.
I could be totally wrong and they might actually be very much in love but ive seen these sort of situations arise far too much and with a painful ending.
people that use and play with other peoples emotions for financial or personal gain are the scum of the earth.
You just have to be there if it does end - and try to think of it as if not when.
The only time to get really concerned is if she starts talking about giving him money. Whilst she's going over to him I really cant see the harm.
If any fathers on here see their young daughter besotted by an obvious loser I would defy any of them not to be trying to subtly steer her away from him - this isn't really any different - difficult to sit back and watch an impending car crash without trying to do something about it.
Your decision obviously, but I would be cruel to be kind - I'm sure she'll thank you for it in the end.
I would say, treat him as a conman until proven otherwise.
Go on Tripadvisor forums for that resort/hotel see if anyone else reckons they have met Saif, or google his name/hotel to see what you find.
Has you mother parted with any money or have assets she can lose ? --that would be my worry
You do have to be so careful how you approach this - sometimes family rifts don't get resolved - my mother only found out about my uncle's death a year after he died.