Sadie, we read about situations like this all the time. Go to a Library and photocopy as many similar stories as you can find, then leave them for her to read. If that upsets your Mum too much, and she doesn't understand the danger she is in, she's in trouble. Be ready to comfort her.
I think that she's having to outlay money she doesn't have and get in to debt is not a good sign. Plus his comments about not living there. Am surprised he hasn't realised that she doesn't have any money. But it could just be about getting to the UK and the entitlements that come with a British spouse
I managed to hack into her Facebook account back in September and read all of their messages back and forth he was only just 29 when they met her 50 and her messages to him over the past year haven't changed in tone his to her have they have become shorter and sharper. He is not genuine, no chance in hell. The thing is my sympathy for mother has also dwindled as my (cafc) brother had an accident a couple of weeks ago, cut off his thumb at work and she still went to Tunisia a couple of days later the day after he was released from hospital.
SadieJane the title of your post is "Am I being selfish?" well the answer is no it's your mum who is the selfish one. Some people reach a certain age then think they are entitled to do as they please without thought to the wreckage they create for those who care for them it's living proof that wisdom and common sense are not things that all people have or develop. This reads to me like your mum is in for a very big fall, sorry for that but maybe if you spell this out now and tell her that it is entirely her responsibility and don't look for you to pick all the pieces up it may pull her up short but I seriously doubt it. What a selfish and idiotic woman.
People thought that Deirdrie and Samir Rachid wouldn't last, but they were the perfect couple until his murder at the hands of racialists while trying to donate a kidney to her daughter.
I have also found out by snooping (logging into her facebook) that she has giving him at least 1 mobile phone possibly 2 as he conveniently lost his in taxis. she has bought him at least 2 pairs of jeans and some trainers, some sun glasses and some work shoes. That is just what I found out there may be more. he also asked her to send him money by western union (she didn't)
it was obvious from this post a few months ago that this bloke was just taking the piss and out for whatever he could get
No he said he would book the apartment for her as he could get it cheaper at that end she then found one half the price he said so booked it herself. She has been told what I think and she just told me when he comes here to stay away from him then he isn't going to subject him to my or anyone else's meanness as it is not fair on poor him as he has no one here.
On the one hand he has no-one here on the other hand he talks about cousins studying here and friends that got visas already, also lets not forget he earns there in 3 months what the average British person would earn in a week, also there are no benefits or sick pay or holiday pay. He obviously wants to come here for a better quality of life.
I know that and you know that but I wondered if your mum wonders why he wants to come here if the poor soul doesn't know anyone as she puts it. I wish I could suggest something to help, other than sympathy. I think it's becoming even clearer he isn't genuine. You've tried to open your mums eyes but she won't see it. Not sure there is much you can do other than keep an eye on things in case something does happen you can use was a reason or example and hope she sees sense. Otherwise it will all become apparent in the end. At least you've tried. Your mum,is her own person but at least there isn't money or property to lose. Alll the best
It would not worry me unduly about the guy being a devious, insincere, exploitative, parasite only looking to break your Mum's heart for his own selfish material gain but have you considered the public shame of having a Chelsea supporter within your family??
Hasn't your mum heard the phrase: 'if something seems too good to be true, then.....'
Shocked to hear that your mum still hasn't seen sense. Unfortunately, it will be left to you to pick up the broken pieces when it all goes wrong. It must be maddening and upsetting to see this parasite setting himself up whilst waiting for him to devastate her. You have my sympathies. If it were up to me, I'd be taking care of things the NLA way!
I've just seen the other thread , which I wasn't aware of til now. Am really pleased to read how you are making progress, so hope things re your mum aren't causing you further worries
Ok, I am just letting her get on with it now she is back working has a well paid job now and has reapplied for visa he will probably be here this time next month
Sad to say but I think your mum might see his true colours SJ when he gets his feet under the table over here. Hope I'm wrong and it is true love, for your mum's sake but. . . . . . . .
I hate this thread, it's like watching a train crash and knowing there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. I can only imagine how awful it must be for you SJ.
You know what? That is exactly how I feel. I've just been talking to my brother and we've agreed to be 'nice' to the guy if we can just so when he does do one mother can't blame us for it.
May I ask, now he has a visa if he decides to split from your Mum does he lose the visa? Does he need to stay with her for a while? Does he need to be married?
I fear that he won't leave until he has relieved your Mum of some money (sorry) but I suspect that the point he reaches the position where he can stay here you will be better informed of his true feelings.
Comments
it was obvious from this post a few months ago that this bloke was just taking the piss and out for whatever he could get
Let him come over bring him to the lib
I am sure a few of us could convince him to go home once the jaw , cheek and eye sockets heal
And never to come back
Bloke is a parasite that will end up costing all of us money not just your mum
It would not worry me unduly about the guy being a devious, insincere, exploitative, parasite only looking to break your Mum's heart for his own selfish material gain but have you considered the public shame of having a Chelsea supporter within your family??
nla, that made me laugh :-)
GA, I married a chelsea supporter so unfortunately that ship has sailed lol
You might want to show your mum this.
Shocked to hear that your mum still hasn't seen sense. Unfortunately, it will be left to you to pick up the broken pieces when it all goes wrong. It must be maddening and upsetting to see this parasite setting himself up whilst waiting for him to devastate her. You have my sympathies. If it were up to me, I'd be taking care of things the NLA way!
I hope all is good let your men folk loose on his sorry arse ifvhe steps out of line
I fear that he won't leave until he has relieved your Mum of some money (sorry) but I suspect that the point he reaches the position where he can stay here you will be better informed of his true feelings.