Doctor - "I'm sorry to say you have a sexually transmitted infection" Patient - "Oh my God, I must have caught it from a lavatory seat" Doctor - "Well, you must have chewed it well, it's in your throat."
North Korea today launched an intercontinental missile strike at the New Den, South East London. The football ground was totally obliterated from the face of the earth .. Total cost of the damage is estimated at £2.50
A man came into the pub last night offering a Sony 39" TV for £1. "The only problem is that the volume is stuck on maximum", he said. I couldn't turn it down.
My dad worked on the roadworks for twenty years before he got fired for stealing! At first I didn't believe it.... but when I got home all the signs were there. xxxxxxxxxx I'm fed up with the excuses women come out with to avoid having sex, like; "I'm tired, I'm washing my hair, I've got a headache, I'm your sister... xxxxxxxx I once knew a dental nurse who loved giving blow jobs and smoking weed. She was known as oral high Jean.
xxxxxxxxx My girlfriend says that a small penis won’t affect our relationship. Whether she's right or not, I'd prefer it if she didn't have one at all! xxxxxxxxxx A woman is walking down the street and see's a sign in the pet shop window reading, "FANNY LICKING FROG £25" curious the woman proceeds inside and says to the shop keeper, "I'd like to see the fanny licking frog please." To which the shop keeper replies, "Bonjour!"
Frank Lambchops, Juicy Jaaskelainen, Pepper-Rooney Pizza, Dimitar Burgertov, Andy Cassaroll, David wheaterbix, Ledley king prawns, Robbie Cabbage, Paul Mince, Shaun Wright-Fillets, Bacary Lasagne, Jap Spam, Eric Cantonese, Benteke fried chicken, and Kieran ribs.
The three women who were kidnapped and hidden in a basement in Ohio for 10 years have said it could have been worse. They could have been hidden in the Everton trophy room and not been found for 18 years !....and counting.
The three women who were kidnapped and hidden in a basement in Ohio for 10 years have said it could have been worse. They could have been hidden in the Everton trophy room and not been found for 18 years !....and counting.
The three women who were kidnapped and hidden in a basement in Ohio for 10 years have said it could have been worse. They could have been hidden in the Everton trophy room and not been found for 18 years !....and counting.
Comments
Patient - "Oh my God, I must have caught it from a lavatory seat"
Doctor - "Well, you must have chewed it well, it's in your throat."
It starts, "I regret to inform you that due to recent events, you now have too many bedrooms..."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To escape North Korea's long range missiles.
'Didn't wake up this morning'
Swansea, Cardiff & Gareth Bale
took her 5 hours to hoover the house.
Turns out she was a Slovak
My dad worked on the roadworks for twenty years before he got fired for stealing!
At first I didn't believe it.... but when I got home all the signs were there.
xxxxxxxxxx
I'm fed up with the excuses women come out with to avoid having sex, like;
"I'm tired, I'm washing my hair, I've got a headache,
I'm your sister...
xxxxxxxx
I once knew a dental nurse who loved giving blow jobs and smoking weed.
She was known as oral high Jean.
xxxxxxxxx
My girlfriend says that a small penis won’t affect our relationship. Whether she's right or not, I'd prefer it if she didn't have one at all!
xxxxxxxxxx
A woman is walking down the street and see's a sign in the pet shop window reading, "FANNY LICKING FROG £25" curious the woman proceeds inside and says to the shop keeper, "I'd like to see the fanny licking frog please." To which the shop keeper replies, "Bonjour!"
But the people of Abu Dhabi Doooooo.
Two people claim to own the house where Shakespeare wrote 'Romeo and Juliet'.
They should just put a plaque on both their houses.
Frank Lambchops, Juicy Jaaskelainen, Pepper-Rooney Pizza, Dimitar Burgertov, Andy Cassaroll, David wheaterbix, Ledley king prawns, Robbie Cabbage, Paul Mince, Shaun Wright-Fillets, Bacary Lasagne, Jap Spam, Eric Cantonese, Benteke fried chicken, and Kieran ribs.
Man of the Match? ..... Suarez, I've never seen a player with such an appetite in front of goal!!
p and p and p and o p and o p and o...
long week sorry.