Edna won a new radio from the school raffle after she attended an senior citizens day event. She sent the school this letter to say thank you.
Dear School,
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior Citizens luncheon. I am 87 years old and live at the West honeymead Home for the elderly. All of my family have passed away so I am all alone. I want to thank you for the kindness you have shown to a forgotten old lady.
My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio; but, she would never let me listen to it. She said it belonged to her long dead husband, and understandably, wanted to keep it safe.
The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a dozen pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I was overjoyed that I could finally tell her to f**k off.
Just saw a dwarf struggling to carry a plasma tv down the road, so I shouted across to him, would you like some help with the tele? To which he replied, f off mate it's an iPad !!!!
HELP. . . do you know how to cancel an eBay bid? I made an offer for a mickey mouse outfit and now I'm 6 minutes away from owning Millwall football club
HELP. . . do you know how to cancel an eBay bid? I made an offer for a mickey mouse outfit and now I'm 6 minutes away from owning Millwall football club
Just re-list it as ' 11 clockwork clowns for sale'
Comments
Dear School,
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior Citizens luncheon. I am 87 years old and live at the West honeymead Home for the elderly. All of my family have passed away so I am all alone. I want to thank you for the kindness you have shown to a forgotten old lady.
My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio; but, she would never let me listen to it. She said it belonged to her long dead husband, and understandably, wanted to keep it safe.
The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a dozen pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I was overjoyed that I could finally tell her to f**k off.
Thank you for that wonderful opportunity.
God bless you all.
Sincerely,
Edna
Row Boat Cop.
"Sure I will," I replied, taking their money.
On the way out I gave them their sausages and informed them they only come in packs of eight.
Think I'll phone in a tip to the police and tell them to keep digging, they'll find hundreds.
Everyone.
Knock-knock
Who's there?
Europe
Europe who?
No, you're a poo!
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their heads are so far away from their bodies
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot
What do you get if you cross a motorway with a pair of roller-skates?
Run over
I would have chased them, but I didn't have the time.
Can't yu just settle for a Pepsi, Max?
He's quite serious about mashed potato.
millwatch.tumblr.com/
A zebra.
What's long and thin, covered in skin, pink in parts and goes in tarts
Rhubarb