Put me in Whetherspoons Brockley Cross and I am right at home however. I can order a beer and burger with aplomb
If you're over that way again, you might want to wander round the corner and have a coffee in Browns of Brockley - they do a lovely soya cappu for a mere 3 quid and the courgette, fennel and burrata salad is absolutely lovely! Reckon you'd really like it!
Fennel is the food of the devil. whoever thought of actually eating the stuff in the first place?
The other thing you can be sure of is that in these coffee places someone in front of you in the queue will use the ignorant expression "can I get?" when they mean "please may I have?"! Ugh! Makes me want to give them a slap every time.
Staff at food chains such as Pret A Manger and Eat having wacky banter behind the counter whilst preparing my coffee, then presenting it to me like it's a f*%king cocktail - "one strrroooong caaaaappuuuucino!!!".
Shut up and calm down. In England, it is completely inappropriate and unacceptable to indulge in any form of jollity or cheeriness before 11am on a working day. So stop it.
On a similar note, paid my first and last visit to the "Wasabi" chain the other day. Picked up a salad, took it to the till, asked for a knife and fork and got told by the gentleman behind the counter that I was "crazy". Apparently it's "crazy" to eat a salad with a knife and fork - it should be eaten either with chopsticks or just a fork. Anything else is "crazy".
Sorry, "mate". I'm actually not "crazy", I just asked for a knife so that I could hammer it into your eyeball whilst you repeat after me "the customer is always right, the customer is always right".
Note to self: support independent businesses.
Not all independent businesses. Monmouth Coffee in Covent Garden is the worst for this. All women that work there between the ages of 25-40, probably ride a bike with a basket on the front to work and on weekends they sit on Clapham common reading 19th Century novels. They have a few taking orders who then shout over to those making the coffee. Someone will order a cappuccino to drink in and the shout is 'single cappuccino in ceramic'....what a load of bollocks.
That's very true. Coffee shops these days are a minefield of pretentiousness. I can picture the women you're describing - when they're not riding to work looking like an extra from Darling Buds of May, you can 100% guarantee that they'll have their face buried in a book whilst strolling along the road, completely oblivious to the poor sods trying to negotiate a route past them.
2 great posts from both of you. These places are symptomatic of a world that angers me to the core. I'll start with these over priced jazzy eateries offering me 'wraps' (It's just a filling with a different type of bread) or mizo soups (who knows, don't care). You can pay about £7 for each, very good value.
I don't do these coffee places purely because although I like a cup of coffee, I refuse to frequent a place where people say 'I'll have a skinny latte'. It's a white coffee. The whole poncy atmosphere just makes me cringe. I feel my whole identity being eroded simply by the surroundings, the people and the language used.
Put me in Whetherspoons Brockley Cross and I am right at home however. I can order a beer and burger with aplomb
You know what, I really do get where you're coming from, but I'm rather partial to what my mum used to call; "A cup of coffee made with milk". (Although back then it was made with cheap instant coffee and a saucepan of milk which needed careful monitoring otherwise the cooker ends up a right mess). The thing is, if I ask for this or a "Milky coffee" or a "White Coffee", the, ahem 'barista' invariably won't know what I mean and may think I want a "White Americano" which, apparently, is what you and I probably refer to in everyday life as "A cup of coffee". Add to this that I'm trying to ease off on the calories, so I might want skimmed milk and it's just a bit inefficient to say "Oh, can you make it with skimmed milk please?" Also, when they are not native english speakers, they sometimes don't understand this. Furthermore, sometimes i want to drink it there, sometimes I need to take it away. I don't really mind using their paper cups whether I'm staying in or going out, but they'll sometimes ask me after I've ordered and I don't really want to continue the conversation. So in the end, it's just easier to ask for the brand names and generic code words they use as it gets you through the queue, you get what you ask for and no-one gets stressed other than the bloke standing behind me secretly fuming because I'm a grown man and I've just asked for a "Tall Skinny latte to go". (My money is on this being you, @cabbles) I have no doubt this makes me part of the problem, but, if I'm perfectly honest, I just want to be in and out as quick as possible, ending up with a tasty coffee in my hand. Life's too short.
They've created this hell not you. You have to play the game. My old boss constantly enjoyed going out for coffees from Starbucks when I was over at Liverpool street. If I went in with him of course, I'm not going to go 'white coffee' because that would throw them and hold up the queue whilst I explain. So, reluctantly, I'll say Americano and play their game. I just see it as poncification of my working class world. Another example. Ladywell park. That was my local to play football when I grew up. We had 4 football pitches and everyone played football when I was younger, there was always a game. I drive back over to visit my dad now, look down as you go over the hill by the train station. No football pitches. An artificial stream as an extension of the quaggy. No goalposts. No jumpers. No kids playing football. Pathetic.
Put me in Whetherspoons Brockley Cross and I am right at home however. I can order a beer and burger with aplomb
If you're over that way again, you might want to wander round the corner and have a coffee in Browns of Brockley - they do a lovely soya cappu for a mere 3 quid and the courgette, fennel and burrata salad is absolutely lovely! Reckon you'd really like it!
Is that a salad to eat with a fork or a knife and fork or maybe hands only?
It's a few years ago now, but the most stressful experience of my life was in a Starbucks in New York, trying to order a cup of tea.
I still don't know what any of the various options offered to me are/were. Had to walk out in the end.
Had a similar experience when I walked in a NY deli to get a bagel. Opened my mouth to ask about the fillings and got subjected to a torrent of abuse for not having my order ready. Told him to f@ck off and walked out.
Put me in Whetherspoons Brockley Cross and I am right at home however. I can order a beer and burger with aplomb
If you're over that way again, you might want to wander round the corner and have a coffee in Browns of Brockley - they do a lovely soya cappu for a mere 3 quid and the courgette, fennel and burrata salad is absolutely lovely! Reckon you'd really like it!
The other thing you can be sure of is that in these coffee places someone in front of you in the queue will use the ignorant expression "can I get?" when they mean "please may I have?"! Ugh! Makes me want to give them a slap every time.
So true, so so so true - I salute you for highlighting one of the most heinous grammatical crimes.
These people should be forced to make their own coffee, as they have asked to get it rather than have it. Then they should be charged double. Then they should be forced to ingest the coffee by way of an enema (whilst it's still piping hot). Then they should be executed.
Tough on stupidity, tough on the causes of stupidity.
Staff at food chains such as Pret A Manger and Eat having wacky banter behind the counter whilst preparing my coffee, then presenting it to me like it's a f*%king cocktail - "one strrroooong caaaaappuuuucino!!!".
Shut up and calm down. In England, it is completely inappropriate and unacceptable to indulge in any form of jollity or cheeriness before 11am on a working day. So stop it.
On a similar note, paid my first and last visit to the "Wasabi" chain the other day. Picked up a salad, took it to the till, asked for a knife and fork and got told by the gentleman behind the counter that I was "crazy". Apparently it's "crazy" to eat a salad with a knife and fork - it should be eaten either with chopsticks or just a fork. Anything else is "crazy".
Sorry, "mate". I'm actually not "crazy", I just asked for a knife so that I could hammer it into your eyeball whilst you repeat after me "the customer is always right, the customer is always right".
Note to self: support independent businesses.
Not all independent businesses. Monmouth Coffee in Covent Garden is the worst for this. All women that work there between the ages of 25-40, probably ride a bike with a basket on the front to work and on weekends they sit on Clapham common reading 19th Century novels. They have a few taking orders who then shout over to those making the coffee. Someone will order a cappuccino to drink in and the shout is 'single cappuccino in ceramic'....what a load of bollocks.
That's very true. Coffee shops these days are a minefield of pretentiousness. I can picture the women you're describing - when they're not riding to work looking like an extra from Darling Buds of May, you can 100% guarantee that they'll have their face buried in a book whilst strolling along the road, completely oblivious to the poor sods trying to negotiate a route past them.
2 great posts from both of you. These places are symptomatic of a world that angers me to the core. I'll start with these over priced jazzy eateries offering me 'wraps' (It's just a filling with a different type of bread) or mizo soups (who knows, don't care). You can pay about £7 for each, very good value.
I don't do these coffee places purely because although I like a cup of coffee, I refuse to frequent a place where people say 'I'll have a skinny latte'. It's a white coffee. The whole poncy atmosphere just makes me cringe. I feel my whole identity being eroded simply by the surroundings, the people and the language used.
Put me in Whetherspoons Brockley Cross and I am right at home however. I can order a beer and burger with aplomb
You know what, I really do get where you're coming from, but I'm rather partial to what my mum used to call; "A cup of coffee made with milk". (Although back then it was made with cheap instant coffee and a saucepan of milk which needed careful monitoring otherwise the cooker ends up a right mess). The thing is, if I ask for this or a "Milky coffee" or a "White Coffee", the, ahem 'barista' invariably won't know what I mean and may think I want a "White Americano" which, apparently, is what you and I probably refer to in everyday life as "A cup of coffee". Add to this that I'm trying to ease off on the calories, so I might want skimmed milk and it's just a bit inefficient to say "Oh, can you make it with skimmed milk please?" Also, when they are not native english speakers, they sometimes don't understand this. Furthermore, sometimes i want to drink it there, sometimes I need to take it away. I don't really mind using their paper cups whether I'm staying in or going out, but they'll sometimes ask me after I've ordered and I don't really want to continue the conversation. So in the end, it's just easier to ask for the brand names and generic code words they use as it gets you through the queue, you get what you ask for and no-one gets stressed other than the bloke standing behind me secretly fuming because I'm a grown man and I've just asked for a "Tall Skinny latte to go". (My money is on this being you, @cabbles) I have no doubt this makes me part of the problem, but, if I'm perfectly honest, I just want to be in and out as quick as possible, ending up with a tasty coffee in my hand. Life's too short.
They've created this hell not you. You have to play the game. My old boss constantly enjoyed going out for coffees from Starbucks when I was over at Liverpool street. If I went in with him of course, I'm not going to go 'white coffee' because that would throw them and hold up the queue whilst I explain. So, reluctantly, I'll say Americano and play their game. I just see it as poncification of my working class world. Another example. Ladywell park. That was my local to play football when I grew up. We had 4 football pitches and everyone played football when I was younger, there was always a game. I drive back over to visit my dad now, look down as you go over the hill by the train station. No football pitches. An artificial stream as an extension of the quaggy. No goalposts. No jumpers. No kids playing football. Pathetic.
Exactly this. We managed fine asking for white coffee and the like before Starbucks and its fellow tax-evading counterparts turned up. Go to France, Spain, Italy, Portugal, etc - you get a nice cup of coffee anywhere and everywhere for about a quid without any fanfare or pretentiousness. Sadly, instead of following their example, we yet again allowed the tubby Americans to show us how to do things and now we're stuck in a hellish existence whereby asking for a white coffee is generally seen by coffee shop staff as an invitation to ask you several very irritating and very fucking stupid questions.
My wife puts cutlery on the table every night for my grown up lads. They go to the gym and eat later. But never at the table, where she put the cutlery. Every night I have to put it away unused.
It's a few years ago now, but the most stressful experience of my life was in a Starbucks in New York, trying to order a cup of tea.
I still don't know what any of the various options offered to me are/were. Had to walk out in the end.
Had a similar experience when I walked in a NY deli to get a bagel. Opened my mouth to ask about the fillings and got subjected to a torrent of abuse for not having my order ready. Told him to f@ck off and walked out.
To be fair, the staff were very friendly and offered at least 10 options of "tea" for me. None of them sounded like normal tea to me and I didnt know any other words or descriptions. It had always just been "tea"
My mother in law leaves a spoon in the mug after making tea. I don't even have sugar. That annoys me.
This reminds me of a tea-lady at an old job: Four of us in the office. At the time I took my coffee black with no sugar. The three other blokes all had theirs white with sugar. Every day, she'd bring the trolley in and put our drinks on our desks with the trolley holding the biccies by the door. Now every single time, she'd leave the only teaspoon in my cup even though I was the only one who had no sugar, so I'd take it out and pass it to a colleague who would proceed to stir his coffee then pass the spoon round the room. After about 6 months of this I finally asked her why she always left the spoon on my cup even though I didn't take sugar. She replied that it was so she could tell which one was mine. She wasn't joking. This is not a joke. It really happened. I still can't believe it to this day.
My mother in law leaves a spoon in the mug after making tea. I don't even have sugar. That annoys me.
I leave the spoon in my own cup, my sister and I have always done it. It annoys me when the wife doesn't do it
I don't mind ordering whatever the coffee shops choose to call their drinks but I refuse to order tall, grande or whatever the other one is. it's small, medium and large all the way for me
Watching the snooker on the BBC, and they cut away mid frame to end the show (just a couple of frames from a result). Then they say my match will be on the red button service after the interval. Just as I'm settling into it again they switch the view to two matches on one screen with a background of coloured balls bouncing all over the place. I don't know what them feckers think they are playing at, but they are going to give me psychedelic snooker nightmares.
No wonder snooker is a minority sport in this country, with this disgraceful lack of respect from our national broadcaster.
People, especially students, that think everything is 'ironic'.
Shut up.
Are you just annoyed because you don't understand irony? Alanis Morisette didn't either, the song "ironic" is the most annoying song ever as it is literally incorrect!
People, especially students, that think everything is 'ironic'.
Shut up.
Are you just annoyed because you don't understand irony? Alanis Morisette didn't either, the song "ironic" is the most annoying song ever as it is literally incorrect!
People, especially students, that think everything is 'ironic'.
Shut up.
Are you just annoyed because you don't understand irony? Alanis Morisette didn't either, the song "ironic" is the most annoying song ever as it is literally incorrect!
Comments
I still don't know what any of the various options offered to me are/were. Had to walk out in the end.
The other thing you can be sure of is that in these coffee places someone in front of you in the queue will use the ignorant expression "can I get?" when they mean "please may I have?"! Ugh! Makes me want to give them a slap every time.
Its been posted on this thread before but I still see it on other threads here.
Please don't ever say this, it makes you sound like a 4 year old....
Same goes for the word 'simples' just stop it.......
These people should be forced to make their own coffee, as they have asked to get it rather than have it. Then they should be charged double. Then they should be forced to ingest the coffee by way of an enema (whilst it's still piping hot). Then they should be executed.
Tough on stupidity, tough on the causes of stupidity.
Arseholes.
If you don't like it though, ignore it. Simples
They go to the gym and eat later. But never at the table, where she put the cutlery.
Every night I have to put it away unused.
WHATS THE POINT ! GRRRRR.
Always makes me laugh that one.....proper makes em jump.
Shut up.
Four of us in the office. At the time I took my coffee black with no sugar. The three other blokes all had theirs white with sugar.
Every day, she'd bring the trolley in and put our drinks on our desks with the trolley holding the biccies by the door.
Now every single time, she'd leave the only teaspoon in my cup even though I was the only one who had no sugar, so I'd take it out and pass it to a colleague who would proceed to stir his coffee then pass the spoon round the room.
After about 6 months of this I finally asked her why she always left the spoon on my cup even though I didn't take sugar. She replied that it was so she could tell which one was mine. She wasn't joking.
This is not a joke. It really happened. I still can't believe it to this day.
I don't mind ordering whatever the coffee shops choose to call their drinks but I refuse to order tall, grande or whatever the other one is. it's small, medium and large all the way for me
My phone manages to connect to wifi on buses that pass me while I'm standing on the street.
The combination of the above two sentences is a General Thing That Annoys Me.
No wonder snooker is a minority sport in this country, with this disgraceful lack of respect from our national broadcaster.
Well that makes it a special birthday gift!