I bumped into Bonnie Tyler on the way to work this morning
I said ‘You’re Bonnie Tyler’ She said ‘Yes’ I said ‘Do you fancy going for a coffee?’ She said ‘Ok’ I said ‘Starbucks, Costa - What do you fancy?’ she said ‘Neither’
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.
The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seems fine, but after awhile she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.
Again she seems fine, but after awhile she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.
Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So, Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask. "It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
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Un, deux, trois, quatre cinq.
I said ‘You’re Bonnie Tyler’
She said ‘Yes’
I said ‘Do you fancy going for a coffee?’
She said ‘Ok’
I said ‘Starbucks, Costa - What do you fancy?’
she said ‘Neither’
I suspected she was holding out for a Nero
하나 둘 셋 넷 다섯
Incredibly funny.
Stirling Moss
Eddie Irvine
Lewis Hamilton
Ayr Town Centre.
Did you hear about the man with 5 dicks?
His pants fitted him like a glove.
Me; ' I didn't know you were interested in Chinese New Year'
Wife; 'Chinese what?'
The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seems fine, but after awhile she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.
Again she seems fine, but after awhile she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.
Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So, Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask. "It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."