Signs collected by a flight attendant on her travels:
The sign in a Norwegian lounge reads: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR
Tacked on the door of a Moscow hotel room: IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT
An airline ticket office in Copehagen reminds you: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS
In a certain African hotel you may choose between: A ROOM WITH A VIEW OF THE SEA OR THE BACKSIDE OF THE COUNTRY
A sign on a clothing store in Brussels read: COME INSIDE AND HAVE A FIT
The room service in a Lisbon hotel tells you: IF YOU WISH FOR BREAKFAST LIFT THE TELEPHONE AND ASK FOR ROOM SERVICE. THIS WILL BE ENOUGH FOR YOU TO BRING YOUR,FOOD UP
A Seville tailor makes clear how he will handle commissions: ORDER NOW YOUR SUMMER SUIT BECAUSE IS BIG RUSH WE WILL EXECUTE CUSTOMERS IN STRICT ROTATION.
Some German hospitals now display the sign: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED IN THE MATERNITY WARDS
The sign at the concierge’s desk in an Athens hotel reads: IF YOU CONSIDER OUR HELP IMPOLITE, YOU SHOULD SEE THE MANAGER
A Rome laundry suggests: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
A London restaurant advertised for help in this way: WANTED: MAN TO WASH DISHES AND TWO WAITRESSES
In a Paris dress shop: DRESSES FOR STREET WALKING
At an Acupulco hotel: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE
I’m not going to say who…. but a friend just called and asked if I would loan her £1300 to help pay her rent. Those who know me, know that I’m always willing to help out friends & family. I told her to give me some time to think about it and I would call her back. Before I called her back, her friend called to let me know that she was lying and not to give her the money !!
He went on to say that the real reason she wanted the £1300 was to get her boyfriend out of jail so she could be under the same roof as him for his birthday
I thought about it for a minute and decided to give her the money anyway because we all need help at times.
A couple of hours later I get a call from the police station. It was her - crying, screaming and asking why I gave her counterfeit money
My response…. so you and your boyfriend could be under the same roof for his birthday!
Comments
This is usual practice. It's to make sure you don't drop a clanger.
The sign in a Norwegian lounge reads:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR
Tacked on the door of a Moscow hotel room:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT
An airline ticket office in Copehagen reminds you:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS
In a certain African hotel you may choose between:
A ROOM WITH A VIEW OF THE SEA OR THE BACKSIDE OF THE COUNTRY
A sign on a clothing store in Brussels read:
COME INSIDE AND HAVE A FIT
The room service in a Lisbon hotel tells you:
IF YOU WISH FOR BREAKFAST LIFT THE TELEPHONE AND ASK FOR ROOM SERVICE. THIS WILL BE ENOUGH FOR YOU TO BRING YOUR,FOOD UP
A Seville tailor makes clear how he will handle commissions:
ORDER NOW YOUR SUMMER SUIT BECAUSE IS BIG RUSH WE WILL EXECUTE CUSTOMERS IN STRICT ROTATION.
Some German hospitals now display the sign:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED IN THE MATERNITY WARDS
The sign at the concierge’s desk in an Athens hotel reads:
IF YOU CONSIDER OUR HELP IMPOLITE, YOU SHOULD SEE THE MANAGER
A Rome laundry suggests:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
A London restaurant advertised for help in this way:
WANTED: MAN TO WASH DISHES AND TWO WAITRESSES
In a Paris dress shop:
DRESSES FOR STREET WALKING
At an Acupulco hotel:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE
Johnson to Zelenskyy .. 'Can I have it in used notes'
"We have Whale meat steak, Whale meat curry or Whale meat stir fry...... oh and of course we have the Vera Lynn!"
"The Vera Lynn?" I asked "whats that?"
"Whale meat again" he said
Halfway
Most are giving it a 9 3/4 depending on the platform
Knew I should have got my car brakes sorted before this happened
You won't believe what happened next