When you do what I've just done and quite literally go grey in a day. All my adult life I've had light brown hair that's gone blonde with prolonged exposure to sunlight. In recent years it's been thinning on top and greying around the edges, but nothing too bad for a man of my years. Today I sat in the garden all afternoon. When I came in, I looked in the mirror expecting to be greeted by a sun-tanned norse god (surely I'm allowed a bit of poetic licence in my own dreams) only to see Rowley Birkin's long lost twin staring back at me. Rather than turning my hair a pleasant and stylish lighter shade, it's just bleached all the life out of it. I shall be scared to go to sleep now in case I wake up with dentures and an alcoholic's nose.
When you do what I've just done and quite literally go grey in a day. All my adult life I've had light brown hair that's gone blonde with prolonged exposure to sunlight. In recent years it's been thinning on top and greying around the edges, but nothing too bad for a man of my years. Today I sat in the garden all afternoon. When I came in, I looked in the mirror expecting to be greeted by a sun-tanned norse god (surely I'm allowed a bit of poetic licence in my own dreams) only to see Rowley Birkin's long lost twin staring back at me. Rather than turning my hair a pleasant and stylish lighter shade, it's just bleached all the life out of it. I shall be scared to go to sleep now in case I wake up with dentures and an alcoholic's nose.
When you get pissed off at next doors granddaughter in her late 20s early 30s who has had a continuous stream of visitors throughout the lockdown decides to have 10/15 pals round yesterday for a barbecue. The steady waft of cigarette smoke into our lounge meant closing our windows until the coastal breeze changed direction which coincidentally was the exact same time as I groomed all of our dogs........ Mwaahahahah
Half way through a bath you’re planning how to get out of the tub.
I'm getting to the stage where a crash mat alongside the bath is starting to look like a sensible precaution. But then, my baths are generally an hour and a half and involve copious alcohol consumption.
You refer impolitely to an aggressive old woman as an ‘old bag’ and realise a) you haven’t used the term for years b) she is the same age as you
I do the same when driving and an old person does something stupid (in my opinion) in front of me, and I think stupid old ******* should not be driving at their age...........then realise, they are probably the same age as me
You discuss Aston Villa's good start with your Brummie (and casual Villa fan) son in law and mention that they managed to win the European Cup in 1982 only to be reminded by him that he wasn't born then.
You start making your Christmas card list in October.
I must be ancient as I’m writing mine out this week obviously by ordered by she Who must be obeyed, her theory is that we might be locked down, won’t accept my counter argument that if we are locked down then we will have plenty of time to do them. I given up and for a peaceful life and to get my Sunday lunch I’m going along with her plan,
Standing in Curry's reading an ad about an app that allows you to see in your fridge whilst you are out via your mobile phone......................WTF?
No idea but the graphic clearly showed the inside the fridge. Maybe you have to call home and get someone to open the door first before activating the app
You wistfully remember a time when you'd watch a football match and you were younger than most of the players. But that was a long time ago. After that things weren't so bad because you were still younger than the refs. For a while. Then managers became the benchmark and finally Owners. Now there is practically no-one older than you. Only Keith Peacock and Brian Kinsey.
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And then the arrival of continental quilts.
Also life before fitted sheets.