Back story. I park my car half way to the station some days in the week when I cant be bothered to walk it. Left it there for a few days and I get this.
It is legally parked, not blocking anyone in, is taxed.
Found it quite amusing and love the last line.
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Comments
WTF
Having said that; available parking space is fast disappearing, what with our 2 or 3 car families -people get a bit precious about their own patch.
GIFSoup
Very pleasant.
A rampant rabbit would suffice.
Failing that advertise the road as a dogging site.
We live in one of the few areas in the village where there isn't controlled parking and it's a pain in the arse to get a space sometimes, especially because we don't have a drive. A few years back the local residents (including us) voted against controlled parking...we only have ourselves to blame.
Putting a note on someone's windscreen when it is legally parked however is totally pathetic and, if I was robroy, I would park there more often and leave notes on my own windscreen to annoy whatever sad bastard did it.
My bet would be that they're Charlton supporters.
In response I have left all the fucks I give in the backseat in clear view.
As you can see, it is empty"
I would leave that note on your front window when you park and attach a reply ..
That you have informed the Police of this letter and find the content threatening plus the condition of your car has been noted and put your name on it.
Sad thing is some people will not park there again for fear of retribution
Thank you for your note. I would like to apologise for any inconvenience caused by my parking; and for bringing it to my attention.
It is not an excuse, but, as a vital member of the civil service, sometimes it is imperative that I gain speedy access to London and, hence, need to park in places which, unfortunately cause problems to law-abiding citizens.
I cannot tell you the full nature of the work that I do. Suffice to say that our country is much safer thanks to the hard work of my staff and the monitoring and surveillance that they do. In the last few years, my team has saved a great many lives by their diligent, tireless, yet secret work on behalf of our country.
So, please forgive and accept the minor, tiresome trouble that my parking causes you and rest assured that I - and my team - will continue to do our work as efficiently as possible, to secure the future of our country.
I would like to sign off with three thoughts:
1. When you called the police yesterday, they logged your call. It's not the first time your address has popped up on our database. You should consider re-visiting your tax return from last year. It would be embarrassing for you if a couple of your omissions came up in court.
2. We obviously never disclose the true nature of the data we store on people, but you might want to ask your wife who "Roger" is, as she's called him a number of times while you were out; and her credit card has a couple of anomalies, including an expensive, overnight stay at a West End hotel
3. Whilst experimenting with a new means of delivering plutonium, we used my car's windscreen wash system. If it was you that placed the letter under my windscreen wiper, you might want to wash your hands before you next pick your nose or scratch your arse. Hope it's not too late.
Kind regards
"X"
Can I suggest that you leaflet the houses around your preferred parking space with a short note? Something along the following lines should do the trick.
"Dear neighbour and fellow Bexley resident, firstly may I thank you for your note. It is always satisfying to realise that my presence in the neighbourhood is noted and that you are looking out for my welfare and that the neighbourhood watch is on the case
I do however wish to bring a couple of matters to your attention and I recommend them to your commitee to be raised at your next meeting:
1. As you correctly and observantly state my car is perfectly street legal and as there are no parking restrictions in either of the roads mentioned I am entitled to park my car where I please so long as it does not contravene the highway code.
2. As far as I am aware I do not restrict access for any other resident of those streets and make a point of never parking across someone elses property.
3. As you are probably aware every, or virtually every, property in both streets has more than ample driveway parking for one or more cars.
4. Given the above I can only assume that you are objecting on aesthetic grounds. If this is the case I apologise but as a working man rather than a retired busybody I have more important matters to occupy my mind than noting the registration date of the cars in my or anyone elses street and cannot afford to purchase a brand new vehicle which you might feel adds to rather than detracts from the view from your window obscured as it is by net curtains.
4. Again as you are probably aware the properties in both streets are occupied by nosey, self important pricks who have nothing better to do than sneer at those of us who actually have a job and need to commute daily in order to make a living and by virtue of our National Insurance Contributions provide the Government with the money to pay your vastly inflated and ill deserved pensions which coincidentally I will not receive until I am too old to enjoy it due to your many years of greed and selfishness.
5. And Finally; get a fucking life."
Absolute bellends.