I asked the bloke next to me to close his legs to day so I could get half my arse on to the chair... quite rude he was for a professional looking bloke.
Don't spread your legs lads, is there really any need to sit next to a woman pretending you've got big balls. It's rude.
Slightly related but does anyone here use or go through Bromley South?. They manage to have a "train dispatcher" on each of the 4 platforms whose job is to hold up a green flag at the driver's window giving him the OK to pull away. Stuff that modern signalling technology eh?
you just know that this person supports Charlton. Dream job for an Addick.
I asked the bloke next to me to close his legs to day so I could get half my arse on to the chair... quite rude he was for a professional looking bloke.
Don't spread your legs lads, is there really any need to sit next to a woman pretending you've got big balls. It's rude.
Dare I ask @Curb_It what happened to the other half of your arse, if it's not a rude question?
I asked the bloke next to me to close his legs to day so I could get half my arse on to the chair... quite rude he was for a professional looking bloke.
Don't spread your legs lads, is there really any need to sit next to a woman pretending you've got big balls. It's rude.
As annoying as that is, it’s offset by the woman who are all elbows, constantly digging through a handbag as deep as the Mariana Trench
Slightly related but does anyone here use or go through Bromley South?. They manage to have a "train dispatcher" on each of the 4 platforms whose job is to hold up a green flag at the driver's window giving him the OK to pull away. Stuff that modern signalling technology eh?
I go through Bromley South everyday. These people would be useful if they had any balls. So the train gets to Bromley South and waits for a min. It's now time for the train to move so the fella blows his whistle. Of course people wanting that train ignore it. There is a constant stream of people running down the stairs for the train. Instead of saying tough on you for being late and shutting the doors he simply waits for them all to get on. Of course the stream never ends as people who would get the next train see an opportunity to get this one. So we without fail leave 5 mins late (if the train wasn't late already) which is so frustrating. The 5 mins in itself isn't a disaster but it always means we get stuck behind a stopping service we should have been infront and end up getting to London 20 mins late. And no doubt make a load of other trains delayed too.
Like ffs if it's time for the train to go just shut the doors and fuck those who cut it too fine. That's what they do at my station.
Slightly related but does anyone here use or go through Bromley South?. They manage to have a "train dispatcher" on each of the 4 platforms whose job is to hold up a green flag at the driver's window giving him the OK to pull away. Stuff that modern signalling technology eh?
I go through Bromley South everyday. These people would be useful if they had any balls. So the train gets to Bromley South and waits for a min. It's now time for the train to move so the fella blows his whistle. Of course people wanting that train ignore it. There is a constant stream of people running down the stairs for the train. Instead of saying tough on you for being late and shutting the doors he simply waits for them all to get on. Of course the stream never ends as people who would get the next train see an opportunity to get this one. So we without fail leave 5 mins late (if the train wasn't late already) which is so frustrating. The 5 mins in itself isn't a disaster but it always means we get stuck behind a stopping service we should have been infront and end up getting to London 20 mins late. And no doubt make a load of other trains delayed too.
Like ffs if it's time for the train to go just shut the doors and fuck those who cut it too fine. That's what they do at my station.
They have no problem sending the train off once the doors are shut at Chatham. Even when the poxy things leave early they won't let you on
SouthEastern currently bracing itself to set me up for a massive fail or perhaps they already have.
Majority of my five trains this week have actually ended with me own SouthEastern around seven minutes so far as that's the combined length of time that my train has been arriving early (with this mornings reaching Cannon Street 4mins early).
The frustrating factor is the fact that each evening... Rather than getting the slow train back to Strood (via. the Woolwich line) I get the train to Dover Priory from Cannon Street which dives along the Longfield line with its first stop being @ Rochester - Means I have to get off there and wait 10mins for the train back to Strood...
Have often wondered though if I can ask if I can leave @ Rochester Station and walk back (despite not having the ticket) as know I can get back into Strood within those 10mins - Last week there decided to chance my luck and the blokes at the barriers were more than happy to let me go through... Last night tried the same (with a different member of staff) and got nothing but attitude from them, claiming my ticket wasn't valid and that I'd have to wait for the train and that I'd have to pay the difference.
Of course I understand the reasoning that you let me through, you've technically got to let any fare dodger through but is still a pain in the arse!! - The amount that we pay for our Season Tickets surely a little bit of leeway should be given here and there!!
Slightly related but does anyone here use or go through Bromley South?. They manage to have a "train dispatcher" on each of the 4 platforms whose job is to hold up a green flag at the driver's window giving him the OK to pull away. Stuff that modern signalling technology eh?
I go through Bromley South everyday. These people would be useful if they had any balls. So the train gets to Bromley South and waits for a min. It's now time for the train to move so the fella blows his whistle. Of course people wanting that train ignore it. There is a constant stream of people running down the stairs for the train. Instead of saying tough on you for being late and shutting the doors he simply waits for them all to get on. Of course the stream never ends as people who would get the next train see an opportunity to get this one. So we without fail leave 5 mins late (if the train wasn't late already) which is so frustrating. The 5 mins in itself isn't a disaster but it always means we get stuck behind a stopping service we should have been infront and end up getting to London 20 mins late. And no doubt make a load of other trains delayed too.
Like ffs if it's time for the train to go just shut the doors and fuck those who cut it too fine. That's what they do at my station.
They have no problem sending the train off once the doors are shut at Chatham. Even when the poxy things leave early they won't let you on
Exactly my point. I get in at Chatham and the doors shut and it leaves. At Bromley south they make the train late by letting late people on.
Slightly related but does anyone here use or go through Bromley South?. They manage to have a "train dispatcher" on each of the 4 platforms whose job is to hold up a green flag at the driver's window giving him the OK to pull away. Stuff that modern signalling technology eh?
I go through Bromley South everyday. These people would be useful if they had any balls. So the train gets to Bromley South and waits for a min. It's now time for the train to move so the fella blows his whistle. Of course people wanting that train ignore it. There is a constant stream of people running down the stairs for the train. Instead of saying tough on you for being late and shutting the doors he simply waits for them all to get on. Of course the stream never ends as people who would get the next train see an opportunity to get this one. So we without fail leave 5 mins late (if the train wasn't late already) which is so frustrating. The 5 mins in itself isn't a disaster but it always means we get stuck behind a stopping service we should have been infront and end up getting to London 20 mins late. And no doubt make a load of other trains delayed too.
Like ffs if it's time for the train to go just shut the doors and fuck those who cut it too fine. That's what they do at my station.
They have no problem sending the train off once the doors are shut at Chatham. Even when the poxy things leave early they won't let you on
Exactly my point. I get in at Chatham and the doors shut and it leaves. At Bromley south they make the train late by letting late people on.
Different class of commuter at Bromley, doncha know!;-)
Slightly related but does anyone here use or go through Bromley South?. They manage to have a "train dispatcher" on each of the 4 platforms whose job is to hold up a green flag at the driver's window giving him the OK to pull away. Stuff that modern signalling technology eh?
I go through Bromley South everyday. These people would be useful if they had any balls. So the train gets to Bromley South and waits for a min. It's now time for the train to move so the fella blows his whistle. Of course people wanting that train ignore it. There is a constant stream of people running down the stairs for the train. Instead of saying tough on you for being late and shutting the doors he simply waits for them all to get on. Of course the stream never ends as people who would get the next train see an opportunity to get this one. So we without fail leave 5 mins late (if the train wasn't late already) which is so frustrating. The 5 mins in itself isn't a disaster but it always means we get stuck behind a stopping service we should have been infront and end up getting to London 20 mins late. And no doubt make a load of other trains delayed too.
Like ffs if it's time for the train to go just shut the doors and fuck those who cut it too fine. That's what they do at my station.
If this issue was costing South Eastern money then you can guarantee they'd find half an hour in their busy schedule to come up with a solution. Put a gate at the bottom of the stairs and close it half a minute before the train goes, for example.
But it's not costing them any money, it's just inconveniencing their customers, so f#%k it, let's not bother.
I preferred it when my train didn't stop at London Bridge. And below is why tube > Southeastern.
Was on the tube yesterday, queuing to get on at Canada Water. A beautiful, single-file, orderly queue if you're familiar with the Jubilee line - went to take my rusksack off as the tube was approaching (knowing that it's not okay to wear a rucksack on a packed train) and accidentally caught this tiny lady on the side of the head with my elbow, not hard like.
Gave it a 5/10 sincerity scale 'I'm sorry' and looked back forward, she's there rubbing her head and scowling and going "ahhh" and looking at her hand as if to check for blood - and I mean, it was hardly 'Duncan Ferguson at a corner' and more like getting sneezed on by Dennis Rommedahl.
Anyway, I ignored it for a bit, and then was like "What?! I said I'm sorry"... so she started going off on one... "Well if you hadn't tried to sneak round me and queued normally like everybody else then we wouldn't be here".
Didn't go down well, sensed other commuters taking her side. Anyway, the good news story is that then the tube turned up and there was room for me (with my rucksack off) and not her - so we glared at each other through the glass once the train door closed, with her flipping me off as it started to pull away. A truly beautiful moment.
I preferred it when my train didn't stop at London Bridge. And below is why tube > Southeastern.
Was on the tube yesterday, queuing to get on at Canada Water. A beautiful, single-file, orderly queue if you're familiar with the Jubilee line - went to take my rusksack off as the tube was approaching (knowing that it's not okay to wear a rucksack on a packed train) and accidentally caught this tiny lady on the side of the head with my elbow, not hard like.
Gave it a 5/10 sincerity scale 'I'm sorry' and looked back forward, she's there rubbing her head and scowling and going "ahhh" and looking at her hand as if to check for blood - and I mean, it was hardly 'Duncan Ferguson at a corner' and more like getting sneezed on by Dennis Rommedahl.
Anyway, I ignored it for a bit, and then was like "What?! I said I'm sorry"... so she started going off on one... "Well if you hadn't tried to sneak round me and queued normally like everybody else then we wouldn't be here".
Didn't go down well, sensed other commuters taking her side. Anyway, the good news story is that then the tube turned up and there was room for me (with my rucksack off) and not her - so we glared at each other through the glass once the train door closed, with her flipping me off as it started to pull away. A truly beautiful moment.
Bollocks!!... Knew there was a risk of it happening yet have appealed to see if I can get away with it.
My train ticket says London to Strood (Route: Dartford NOT HS1) - Instead I've been getting the fast train down to Rochester and coming back one stop to Strood... Tonight at Rochester there were ticket inspectors and got busted with a £30 fine (Wasnt allowed to pay the difference at the other end)... In my appeal I've tried going for the ignorance approach by saying (1) I didnt realise the train was non stop to Rochester and didnt go through Dartford and (2) My train back to Strood was going on to Dartford so thought it would validate the ticket.
Of course I know my appeal will never win for that reason... I also know the fast Rochester train goes via. Longfield and that my train back to Strood is one of the High Speed trains (which can be used despite the not HS1 part of my ticket because its not High Speed at that stage of the line)
Whats a joke though is the way they throw loopholes to get a bit of extra money out of you - Fair enough the High Speed will be a bit more expensive yet ultimately there is no difference between every other train on the line so two routes shouldnt be priced differently if they both take you from A to B... What next, a ticket that says your not allowed a seat or only allowed to get on the yellow carriages!!
If you were being a good boy, you would have bought an extension to your season ticket in London before you got on the train. You can't buy an extension from the ticket machine, you have to queue up at the ticket office to buy it.
I would therefore say that your train in this morning was late, meaning you were late for work, meaning that you had to leave work late in the evening. You had an urgent appointment to get home to this evening, meaning that you didn't have time to buy your ticket extension this evening, particularly as there was a queue at the ticket office. So basically, it's there fault that you didn't buy a ticket.
I used this the other week when I went to Sevenoaks (got a Z1-3 Travel card), although it was true, I wasn't making it up. Revenue Protection Nazis on the gate at Sevenoaks and I was just gagging for the opportunity to let loose on one of them, which I think they recognised quite quickly so they let me through.
If any of your other trains have been late this week, mention that as well, just to remind them of how shit they are.
VERY IMPORTANT - even if they think your excuse is bollocks, they will almost certainly accept your appeal and cancel your fine if you do the following:
1. Copy in your own MP and Chris Grayling, Minister for Transport (you don't actually have to send them a copy, just write "c.c. Chris Grayling MP, etc" so it looks like you have.
2. Ask for a copy of their Conditions of Carriage and their Customer Service Code of Practice
The above will ensure that you're labelled as a pain in the arse who's going to waste hours of their time that could be better spent drinking tea and thinking up new excuses for not running trains properly.
In the highly unlikely event that they reject your appeal, post them a cheque for £30 in Tupperware box accompanied by some dog turds.*
*If you need any help with this, I've got a Tupperware box that I'm happy to donate, and my auntie owns a St Bernard.
I worked from home on Wednesday and Thursday, but I'm back in the office today. Despite a fairly hefty night on the booze yesterday evening, I woke this morning feeling relaxed and reinvigorated, ready to face whatever challenges the world throws at me. Then I arrived at the station, and within seconds I was engulfed by a tsunami of rage and an insuppressible urge to push a Revenue Protection Officer todger-first into an industrial meat grinder.
I was travelling from Hither Green this morning, for reasons I won't bore you with. Had to leg it out of the front door to make sure I was there in time to get the ironically-named "9.17 to Charing Cross". Surprisingly it actually arrived on time, and there was space for me to enjoy the decadent comfort of kicking back on one of their vomit-stained, shit-infested seats. Anyway, obviously running a train in line with the published timetable is completely out of the question, so we then just sat stationary at the Platform for 11 minutes. It was 5 minutes before they actually bothered to say anything, although to be fair they did update the platform display so that it said "Delayed" - that was a great help, and brought closure to a heated debate between a number of passengers concerning what word would be most appropriate for describing a situation where a train is operating later than its published schedule.
Anyway, after a couple of pathetic apologies from the Platform staff, about 8 minutes in they finally explained that the delay was due to "congestion in the Hither Green area" and they "hoped" we would be on the move shortly. Two points here, both of which have me spitting with fury:
1. You "hope" we'll be on the move shortly. What f%*king use is that? Every f#$king day I "hope" I'll win the lottery and get to live on an island populated solely by Latin strippers. Not happened yet and it's never gonna happen. Same with trains lads, they're powered by electricty, not "hope". If there's a problem of some sort then sitting down with a cup of tea and "hoping" it gets sorted is gonna achieve just a fraction less than f^*k all, and announcing on the tannoy that you "hope" we're on the move shortly is just gonna make me want to get off the train and kick you so hard up the arse that my foot comes out of your mouth so I can poke you in the eye with my toe.
2. I've spent day after day for a decade and a half sitting stationary for 10 minutes every morning with only Millwall's stadium and Lewisham Waste Recyling Centre to look at due to "congestion in the London Bridge area". You've now spent £6.5 billion on the Thameslink Programme and all it's apparently achieved is to push the same problem a bit further back down the line.
May you be afflicted with a plague of venereal diseases, you useless thieving tossers.
Got the misleadingly named 17.25 from Cannon St last night, which arrived at Cannon St at 17.35. Some 5 minutes later, despite being packed with hopeful but wary commuters, neither the platform staff nor the displays on the concourse and platforms, could even tell us if the train we were sat on was actually the right train!
Needless to say, we were further delayed on our journey but managed to find a short burst of speed that meant the total delay was about 2 minutes below that magical 30 minute mark at which point Southeastern would have to pay out a paltry sum in compensation for their utterly shit alleged service.
9:17 Mr Largo? Is that still rush hour? Are you eligible to complain about the performance of the trains in 'non-peak' times?
If it's a South Eastern train and you're on it, waiting for it or cursing the fact that it's been cancelled then you can and should complain about it, regardless of the time of day.
I was on a train the other day sitting normally in my seat when some bird with a big arse try’s to sit next to me. She then starts to accuse me that I have my legs to far apart and I am taking up too much room.
It got worse after this when she got a hip flask out and starting knocking it back, this was on the 07.15 to Cannon Street.
Bit of drizzle this morning and a little wind last night. Of course that means it's fine to delay my train by 15 mins without apology.
Ohh and there is no facking seats. And I have some creepy looking middle aged man standing opposite me who is just staring at me with some creepy arsed smile. Bit scared. Think I'm gonna get murdered or something.
Other than on Friday when I left early and travelled off-peak, I've yet to be on a train into or out of London in 2018 that has arrived within 5 minutes of the scheduled time.
Bit of drizzle this morning and a little wind last night. Of course that means it's fine to delay my train by 15 mins without apology.
Ohh and there is no facking seats. And I have some creepy looking middle aged man standing opposite me who is just staring at me with some creepy arsed smile. Bit scared. Think I'm gonna get murdered or something.
Bit of drizzle this morning and a little wind last night. Of course that means it's fine to delay my train by 15 mins without apology.
Ohh and there is no facking seats. And I have some creepy looking middle aged man standing opposite me who is just staring at me with some creepy arsed smile. Bit scared. Think I'm gonna get murdered or something.
Comments
Like ffs if it's time for the train to go just shut the doors and fuck those who cut it too fine. That's what they do at my station.
Majority of my five trains this week have actually ended with me own SouthEastern around seven minutes so far as that's the combined length of time that my train has been arriving early (with this mornings reaching Cannon Street 4mins early).
The frustrating factor is the fact that each evening... Rather than getting the slow train back to Strood (via. the Woolwich line) I get the train to Dover Priory from Cannon Street which dives along the Longfield line with its first stop being @ Rochester - Means I have to get off there and wait 10mins for the train back to Strood...
Have often wondered though if I can ask if I can leave @ Rochester Station and walk back (despite not having the ticket) as know I can get back into Strood within those 10mins - Last week there decided to chance my luck and the blokes at the barriers were more than happy to let me go through... Last night tried the same (with a different member of staff) and got nothing but attitude from them, claiming my ticket wasn't valid and that I'd have to wait for the train and that I'd have to pay the difference.
Of course I understand the reasoning that you let me through, you've technically got to let any fare dodger through but is still a pain in the arse!! - The amount that we pay for our Season Tickets surely a little bit of leeway should be given here and there!!
But it's not costing them any money, it's just inconveniencing their customers, so f#%k it, let's not bother.
Was on the tube yesterday, queuing to get on at Canada Water. A beautiful, single-file, orderly queue if you're familiar with the Jubilee line - went to take my rusksack off as the tube was approaching (knowing that it's not okay to wear a rucksack on a packed train) and accidentally caught this tiny lady on the side of the head with my elbow, not hard like.
Gave it a 5/10 sincerity scale 'I'm sorry' and looked back forward, she's there rubbing her head and scowling and going "ahhh" and looking at her hand as if to check for blood - and I mean, it was hardly 'Duncan Ferguson at a corner' and more like getting sneezed on by Dennis Rommedahl.
Anyway, I ignored it for a bit, and then was like "What?! I said I'm sorry"... so she started going off on one... "Well if you hadn't tried to sneak round me and queued normally like everybody else then we wouldn't be here".
Didn't go down well, sensed other commuters taking her side. Anyway, the good news story is that then the tube turned up and there was room for me (with my rucksack off) and not her - so we glared at each other through the glass once the train door closed, with her flipping me off as it started to pull away. A truly beautiful moment.
Chat shit, get banged.
My train ticket says London to Strood (Route: Dartford NOT HS1) - Instead I've been getting the fast train down to Rochester and coming back one stop to Strood... Tonight at Rochester there were ticket inspectors and got busted with a £30 fine (Wasnt allowed to pay the difference at the other end)... In my appeal I've tried going for the ignorance approach by saying (1) I didnt realise the train was non stop to Rochester and didnt go through Dartford and (2) My train back to Strood was going on to Dartford so thought it would validate the ticket.
Of course I know my appeal will never win for that reason... I also know the fast Rochester train goes via. Longfield and that my train back to Strood is one of the High Speed trains (which can be used despite the not HS1 part of my ticket because its not High Speed at that stage of the line)
Whats a joke though is the way they throw loopholes to get a bit of extra money out of you - Fair enough the High Speed will be a bit more expensive yet ultimately there is no difference between every other train on the line so two routes shouldnt be priced differently if they both take you from A to B... What next, a ticket that says your not allowed a seat or only allowed to get on the yellow carriages!!
If you were being a good boy, you would have bought an extension to your season ticket in London before you got on the train. You can't buy an extension from the ticket machine, you have to queue up at the ticket office to buy it.
I would therefore say that your train in this morning was late, meaning you were late for work, meaning that you had to leave work late in the evening. You had an urgent appointment to get home to this evening, meaning that you didn't have time to buy your ticket extension this evening, particularly as there was a queue at the ticket office. So basically, it's there fault that you didn't buy a ticket.
I used this the other week when I went to Sevenoaks (got a Z1-3 Travel card), although it was true, I wasn't making it up. Revenue Protection Nazis on the gate at Sevenoaks and I was just gagging for the opportunity to let loose on one of them, which I think they recognised quite quickly so they let me through.
If any of your other trains have been late this week, mention that as well, just to remind them of how shit they are.
VERY IMPORTANT - even if they think your excuse is bollocks, they will almost certainly accept your appeal and cancel your fine if you do the following:
1. Copy in your own MP and Chris Grayling, Minister for Transport (you don't actually have to send them a copy, just write "c.c. Chris Grayling MP, etc" so it looks like you have.
2. Ask for a copy of their Conditions of Carriage and their Customer Service Code of Practice
The above will ensure that you're labelled as a pain in the arse who's going to waste hours of their time that could be better spent drinking tea and thinking up new excuses for not running trains properly.
In the highly unlikely event that they reject your appeal, post them a cheque for £30 in Tupperware box accompanied by some dog turds.*
*If you need any help with this, I've got a Tupperware box that I'm happy to donate, and my auntie owns a St Bernard.
I worked from home on Wednesday and Thursday, but I'm back in the office today. Despite a fairly hefty night on the booze yesterday evening, I woke this morning feeling relaxed and reinvigorated, ready to face whatever challenges the world throws at me. Then I arrived at the station, and within seconds I was engulfed by a tsunami of rage and an insuppressible urge to push a Revenue Protection Officer todger-first into an industrial meat grinder.
I was travelling from Hither Green this morning, for reasons I won't bore you with. Had to leg it out of the front door to make sure I was there in time to get the ironically-named "9.17 to Charing Cross". Surprisingly it actually arrived on time, and there was space for me to enjoy the decadent comfort of kicking back on one of their vomit-stained, shit-infested seats. Anyway, obviously running a train in line with the published timetable is completely out of the question, so we then just sat stationary at the Platform for 11 minutes. It was 5 minutes before they actually bothered to say anything, although to be fair they did update the platform display so that it said "Delayed" - that was a great help, and brought closure to a heated debate between a number of passengers concerning what word would be most appropriate for describing a situation where a train is operating later than its published schedule.
Anyway, after a couple of pathetic apologies from the Platform staff, about 8 minutes in they finally explained that the delay was due to "congestion in the Hither Green area" and they "hoped" we would be on the move shortly. Two points here, both of which have me spitting with fury:
1. You "hope" we'll be on the move shortly. What f%*king use is that? Every f#$king day I "hope" I'll win the lottery and get to live on an island populated solely by Latin strippers. Not happened yet and it's never gonna happen. Same with trains lads, they're powered by electricty, not "hope". If there's a problem of some sort then sitting down with a cup of tea and "hoping" it gets sorted is gonna achieve just a fraction less than f^*k all, and announcing on the tannoy that you "hope" we're on the move shortly is just gonna make me want to get off the train and kick you so hard up the arse that my foot comes out of your mouth so I can poke you in the eye with my toe.
2. I've spent day after day for a decade and a half sitting stationary for 10 minutes every morning with only Millwall's stadium and Lewisham Waste Recyling Centre to look at due to "congestion in the London Bridge area". You've now spent £6.5 billion on the Thameslink Programme and all it's apparently achieved is to push the same problem a bit further back down the line.
May you be afflicted with a plague of venereal diseases, you useless thieving tossers.
Needless to say, we were further delayed on our journey but managed to find a short burst of speed that meant the total delay was about 2 minutes below that magical 30 minute mark at which point Southeastern would have to pay out a paltry sum in compensation for their utterly shit alleged service.
what time can you use your OAP travel card from? (that's a question for the oldies, not yourself @Brendan_O_Connell )
I can use my senior railcard at 8am down here in deepest kent.
It got worse after this when she got a hip flask out and starting knocking it back, this was on the 07.15 to Cannon Street.
I had to move seats.
Ohh and there is no facking seats. And I have some creepy looking middle aged man standing opposite me who is just staring at me with some creepy arsed smile. Bit scared. Think I'm gonna get murdered or something.
CUNTS!!!