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Chat up lines

edited March 2012 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
Just thinking with ball mouth coming up on sat! Anyone got any classic/cheesy/crap chat up lines

Man:- "you Irish love?"
Women:- "No why"
Man:- "coz everytime I look at you my cocks Dublin"

Great chat up line from a movie
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Comments

  • Dicko: "Can you hold my pint a second"
    Kets: "Sure thing"
    Kets: "What the f***"

    Seemed to work pretty well in blackpool!
  • I know ricky Gervais.. ;-)

    67% of the time it works everytime.

    Paddy from phoenix nights used a belter,

    "Alright love, nice legs.. what time do they open?"
  • "Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiece"
  • Do you work for DHL? Because I saw you checking out my package.
  • Fancy a night at the Hilton?

    Worked last week.
  • For any bird of a foriegn persuasion.
    Have you got any English in you?
    No.
    Would you like some?
  • "does this napkin smell of rolhypnole"

  • 2 birds together walk over to them and ask one


    Do you like to dance

    if she says yes

    Tell her to fook off then cos i want to talk to your pal





    Alternatively

    Walk up to her and say i might not be the best looking bloke in here


    but i am the only one talking to you






    Or the one that serves me best




    Dont turn this rape in to a murder
  • "does this napkin smell of rolhypnole"
    Rohypnol doesnt smell - do you mean chloroform ?

  • NLA should be struck off for that.
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  • Me - Can I smell your f*nny

    Girl - F**k off

    Me - oh, must be your feet then
  • Me - would you like to dance?
    Her - no I would never dance with you?
    Me - you misheard me, I said that dress makes your arse look fat


    Surely the best chat up line is Hi, can I get you a drink.
  • Either way same out come?!
  • There are 256 bones in your body! Would you like another?

  • Hello Mrs Wiseman.
  • Are you free later this evening? No? Oh alright, how much then?
  • Do you like fruit?

    Yes

    Then suck my c*ck it's a peach
  • This one works every time:

    Here love, drink this, it's fine..................
  • Have you ever had ya belly button licked.............. From the inside!
  • edited March 2012
    Back in the day before mobile phones it used to be

    bloke 'have you got 10p love?'
    girl 'no why?'
    bloke 'you need to give your mum a ring to tell her you won't be home tonight'
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  • "whats that in my pocket you say.. just some gaffer tape and a stanley knife.. another drink?"
  • "You look like my 3rd wife"

    "How many have you had?"

    "Two....."
  • just get your cock out and say

    "'ere love, get your laughing gear round that"
  • just get your cock out and say

    "'ere love, get your laughing gear round that"
    Subtle dave very subtle!


  • Hi ..yes i am a Millionaire ............sure to work
  • Do you come here often?
  • "thats so funny i love hannah montana too..."

  • "Hello, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you"

  • "Ey up Luv! Those clothes would look great in a heap on my bedroom floor!".
  • Would you like one thats funny, but also a bit cheesey to make them laugh at the same time?

    You approach them and you say to them "Hey, look, feel this" and hand them part of your clothing. Maybe a cuff, maybe part of a jumper or shirt. They have a feel and usually look a bit confused. Then you say "do you know what that is?" ... They still look confused. "No" they reply. "Boyfriend material" you remark, with a wink.

    Then listen as the waves break in her fanny
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Roland Out!