Blokes who insist on sitting next to you with their legs spread wide open, pushing the people either side of them against the window or off their seat.
I am sure your penis isn't that big.
I always push their legs back, wankers.
and what do you do with the ones who arent pleasuring themselves? ;-)
People who drop their bag and wander off. Got on a train and there was a pair of rucksacks just lying near the door with nobody near them and everyone very britishly ignoring them. I asked the bloke who was nearest them and he claimed no knowledge. A pair of dunces sitting miles away from them piped up that they belonged to them and were quite indignant that they'd been quizzed about the matter.
Blokes who insist on sitting next to you with their legs spread wide open, pushing the people either side of them against the window or off their seat.
I am sure your penis isn't that big.
I always push their legs back, wankers.
Good move here is to sit down fairly hard and make sure you land on their arm which will innevitably be partially in your seat. Apologise immediately of course to avoid offense but notice how they draw themselves into their own personal space more.
Selfish bastards who delay my journey by jumping in front of the train, do it off peak you attention seeking arseholes!
Agree with this completely. Ive always thought why would you want the last enduring memory of you to be 10,000 angry commuters on the victoria line thinking what a pr*ck you are for wasting another 30 minutes of their lives?
I actually don't mind commuting as it's an opportunity to read. But what I've grown to dislike is automated announcemnets, especially the one that tells you all the stations you'll be visiting en route and the one about not leaving your personal possessions or luggage on the train.
Seconded on the automated announcements! 'Please mind the gap between the train and platform' Has someone successfully sued Southeastern before for not telling them this? Announced at every single station amongst lots of other patronising information.
After comming back from spain with a nice healthy dark tan and wearing my large back pack full of spanish sweets and goodies for the people in my office being shot by armed police as i try to jump the barrier to catch the tube to work.. do the met have nothing better to do than shoot commuters trying to get in on time!!
Train back from London Bridge to Hither Green latish on Wednesday evening, smartly dressed city gent in his late forties hurls his guts up just as we're approaching Lewisham. He got most of it in a plastic bag, although a few bits made it onto his clothes and the seat next to him. The bird opposite him moved away very quickly, as you would. Pulled into Lewisham, loads got off and a load more got on, unaware of the "situation". Spent the next 4 minutes watching 3 different people going "oh there's a spare seat oppositie that smartly dressed man" and then getting up very promptly when they realised he was carrying the contents of his stomach around in a plastic bag!
As far as trainers and suits goes, they do look stupid but I can't afford to spend £40 on a new pair of work shoes every 2 months just to avoid offending you.
Most annoying thing about commuting - knowing that as soon as the clocks go back my train will be somewhere between 2 and 10 minutes late every morning until next Spring without any explanation or apology as a result of South Eastern once again being taken totally by surprise by the extraordinary natural phenomenom known as "Winter".
Four or Five carraige trains just before and during the rush hour. (Note to Southeastern trains - Put the full amount of carraiges on and they wont be so over-crowded, you numptys). Got a train home the other day from Charing Cross at 1230, 10 carraiges & completly empty. The following day at 1600, only 4 carraiges and completely banged-out before London Bridge...Muppets.
"Trains are being delayed due to adverse weather conditions", i.e. its raining or its a bit warmer than usual.
"Your train is being delayed due to congestion".... then sort the effing timetable out!
"This train is being diverted along the Sidcup Line"...dont you just love it when the train you are on changes destination at Lewisham, hundreds get off, the station cant cope with it, no announcements and 300 people all going for the same bus.
South Eastern putting the prices up by 10% 2 years running to pay for the. "High speed" service that nobody uses and making the service to Victoria even slower There used to be an old steam age poster in Herne bay museum which advertised a faster service than the one we put up with today And the changes they made to the compensation scheme which means I received no money back on my annual season ticket this week even though the snow stopped the trains on pur line from running for at least 4 days last winter
Really annoys me that at London Bridge they play the same announcement but with a bloke on one platform and a bird on the one next to it at the same time. JUST USE THE SAME SODDING VOICE OVER.... And of course the 'due to today's wet weather, take extra care...' message (when I look around to see a tea spill sized wet patch from rain several hours ago)
Also very annoying when I finish the latest version of Angry Birds before I reach the next station and have 35 minutes of boredom/trying to stay awake to endure.
Oh and someone that sits in 'my' seat on my regular train will get devil eyes for the whole journey.....
The announcement's really piss me off and all the other noises that are automated.
Why do they have to have the most annoying voice over computer women. Its not that hard to put someone with a funny voice on their or something. I mean I'd settle for a normal voice rather than an annoying one.
The fact that the computer women will never shut up and speak's the same message's at every stop over and over again
That beepy sound the door's make when they can open. so loud and unnecessary and annoying
Most other thing's have all ready been said that I dislike about train's
People who sit in the middle of a 'sixer' and get annoyed when a load of people get on and swarm around them, as if they thought the train wouldn't end up packed at 8am?
People who give me disapproving looks when I sit down on a bus or tube. I would understand if I barged past a group of elders to sit down but most of the time no-one is even standing up anyway. If I can't sit down after a 12 hour shift fitting a shop then I'm not sure you in your stupid 65 quid suit from M&S deserve one either, seeing as you probably spend most of your working day sitting on your arse pretending to work, whilst stalking people on facebook.
People who drink alcohol or smoke on trains. Losers
People who cram themselves into a certain carriage just because the exit at the other end is in line with the doors, only to then stand on the right hand side of the escalator whilst I casually walk up the left, after sitting in a half empty carriage for the entire journey.
Running trainers and suits. I work for Adidas and can tell you now a pair of long distance running trainers are not much good for what you need, a pair of hiking style trainers from Cotswolds or Millets would be much better, and they do them in less garish colours too.
People who get to the barriers and then look for their tickets or oyster cards, as if they think they won't need it?!
Trains that turn up on time then stop outside a station for ages, and consequentially force me to miss my connections.
People on the DLR who try to get away with not touching their oyster, then get all aggressive when the fact is pointed out to them by the inspectors
South Eastern putting the prices up by 10% 2 years running to pay for the. "High speed" service that nobody uses and making the service to Victoria even slower There used to be an old steam age poster in Herne bay museum which advertised a faster service than the one we put up with today And the changes they made to the compensation scheme which means I received no money back on my annual season ticket this week even though the snow stopped the trains on pur line from running for at least 4 days last winter
If nobody's using HS1, why did I have to stand tonight?
....and a personal plea, before you say anything about incidents or people under trains it's not always someone trying to take their own lives. Many of us on here knew one such person who had no intention of taking his own life but ended up dying in tragic circumstances.
Standing on a platform waiting for a train but all trains on that line are cancelled. But the staff dont tell the 70 or so passengers waiting at Sevenoaks station as on Thursday night. The Boards say the trains will run but the staff know otherwise - but can't tell us!
Right spanner in the works this afternoon as my Charlton bound train left cannon street...the automated announcement said... your next stop will be Bexley. No one else batted an eyelid bar me.
My hate is that blokes voice at cannon st in morning telling us why our trains were 8 10 or 20 mins late. Suck a few fishermans friend lad. Or smoke a bit or something. Always mutter to myself tell that to my bloody boss when he apologises for our train being late.
Right spanner in the works this afternoon as my Charlton bound train left cannon street...the automated announcement said... your next stop will be Bexley. No one else batted an eyelid bar me.
My hate is that blokes voice at cannon st in morning telling us why our trains were 8 10 or 20 mins late. Suck a few fishermans friend lad. Or smoke a bit or something. Always mutter to myself tell that to my bloody boss when he apologises for our train being late.
Ha ha im not a fan of him either, he seems to talk in stages and as if he is making it up as he goes along.
The "Baby on Board" TFL badges. Not the badge in itself but the fact that we are now such a nation of fatties that it has become necessary to develop a badge to differentiate pregnant ladies from the obese.
Cannon Street as above...amazing you can apologise on behalf of you and your team for brign anything to 4 - 9 minutes late due to blah blah blah....Yet a few minutes earlier the driver has told the delay was to a completly different reason.......
Amazing they can run 10 -12 carriage cars Mon - Thursday at 9pm at night...yet Friday night 4/5 carriages and yet expect everyone to squeeze on at LB and stand like sardines on the way home...err...wot is so special on a Friday night ?
Remember in the snow the trains all buggered and being told at Plumstead to announce that the driver had fallen and broken his arm.Then I got sent to Woolwich where they announce he has broken his leg.Some old dear fought her way through the snow to ask how the poor driver was! Managed to keep straight face until she was out of sight then pissed my self laughing.
About to head home, just checked TFL, emergancy engeniering works going on right now at clapham junction, affecting all Southern routes to and from victoria. Just thought i would let anyone else know who uses the victoria or southern trains gona be messy.. love mondays.
Sitting opposite a woman who was digging out the crud from her ear... when feeling mildy hungover I had to move. disgusting... expect it from a bloke but to spend 5 mins digging in, removing and going back again. vom.
Sitting opposite a woman who was digging out the crud from her ear... when feeling mildy hungover I had to move. disgusting... expect it from a bloke but to spend 5 mins digging in, removing and going back again. vom.
Not quite on par with that, but there was a woman clipping her nails on the bus the other morning - (fingermails by the way!)
Comments
;-)
Seconded on the automated announcements! 'Please mind the gap between the train and platform' Has someone successfully sued Southeastern before for not telling them this? Announced at every single station amongst lots of other patronising information.
Train back from London Bridge to Hither Green latish on Wednesday evening, smartly dressed city gent in his late forties hurls his guts up just as we're approaching Lewisham. He got most of it in a plastic bag, although a few bits made it onto his clothes and the seat next to him. The bird opposite him moved away very quickly, as you would. Pulled into Lewisham, loads got off and a load more got on, unaware of the "situation". Spent the next 4 minutes watching 3 different people going "oh there's a spare seat oppositie that smartly dressed man" and then getting up very promptly when they realised he was carrying the contents of his stomach around in a plastic bag!
As far as trainers and suits goes, they do look stupid but I can't afford to spend £40 on a new pair of work shoes every 2 months just to avoid offending you.
Most annoying thing about commuting - knowing that as soon as the clocks go back my train will be somewhere between 2 and 10 minutes late every morning until next Spring without any explanation or apology as a result of South Eastern once again being taken totally by surprise by the extraordinary natural phenomenom known as "Winter".
"Trains are being delayed due to adverse weather conditions", i.e. its raining or its a bit warmer than usual.
"Your train is being delayed due to congestion".... then sort the effing timetable out!
"This train is being diverted along the Sidcup Line"...dont you just love it when the train you are on changes destination at Lewisham, hundreds get off, the station cant cope with it, no announcements and 300 people all going for the same bus.
There used to be an old steam age poster in Herne bay museum which advertised a faster service than the one we put up with today
And the changes they made to the compensation scheme which means I received no money back on my annual season ticket this week even though the snow stopped the trains on pur line from running for at least 4 days last winter
Going back to the automated announcements.....
Really annoys me that at London Bridge they play the same announcement but with a bloke on one platform and a bird on the one next to it at the same time. JUST USE THE SAME SODDING VOICE OVER.... And of course the 'due to today's wet weather, take extra care...' message (when I look around to see a tea spill sized wet patch from rain several hours ago)
Also very annoying when I finish the latest version of Angry Birds before I reach the next station and have 35 minutes of boredom/trying to stay awake to endure.
Oh and someone that sits in 'my' seat on my regular train will get devil eyes for the whole journey.....
Back to the rants - people who leave their empty drinks cans, food wrappers etc on the table or seat - use the bin you lazy sods
Standing on a platform waiting for a train but all trains on that line are cancelled. But the staff dont tell the 70 or so passengers waiting at Sevenoaks station as on Thursday night. The Boards say the trains will run but the staff know otherwise - but can't tell us!
ARGHHHHHHH
My hate is that blokes voice at cannon st in morning telling us why our trains were 8 10 or 20 mins late. Suck a few fishermans friend lad. Or smoke a bit or something. Always mutter to myself tell that to my bloody boss when he apologises for our train being late.
Nothing can ever beat the old West Indian guy at Waterloo East who used to pronounce Lewisham as Looooooooooooo-I-shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarm.
The "Baby on Board" TFL badges. Not the badge in itself but the fact that we are now such a nation of fatties that it has become necessary to develop a badge to differentiate pregnant ladies from the obese.
disgusting... expect it from a bloke but to spend 5 mins digging in, removing and going back again. vom.