Don't know if any lifers can help, but I have a terrible condensation problem in my house, and no idea what to do about it. I'd be really grateful if someone could take a look. Pop round anytime, the kettle's always on...
"You're so childish!" screamed the wife. "Why do you always have to use that stupid walkie talkie with your stupid friends?! This is ridiculous, this relationship is over!"
“This relationship is what? Over.”
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"..
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(Dan Evans)
I love playing for my local team the Musketeers Football Club.
After 20 games we’re unbeaten this season so far winning 19, and drawing 1.
The results have been........all 4-1,
and one 4-all.
She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.
She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"..
Because he'd lost the plot.
I rang up Sea World earlier and they asked me to say "Jump through the hoop" 3 times...
They told me my call may be used for training porpoises..
People always ask me where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but never believe me when I tell them Spain.
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
My boss has told me I need to stop pronouncing my B’s and V’s! He said it’s making me sound Russian.
I don’t care though, if that’s the case then soviet!
I used to run a dating agency for chickens.
But I was struggling to make hens meet.
All driving Rovers