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Jokes..

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    I’ve been checking and checking to make sure you’ve got everyone in there and bugger me, yes you have. Hang on, wait a minute, nobody from Vanuatu 😀

    Am I being stupid or is English missing?
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    edited January 2019

    I’ve been checking and checking to make sure you’ve got everyone in there and bugger me, yes you have. Hang on, wait a minute, nobody from Vanuatu 😀

    Am I being stupid or is English missing?
    Has a Brit but for some reason lists the others individually.

    Also missing a Madagascan :wink:


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    I’ve been checking and checking to make sure you’ve got everyone in there and bugger me, yes you have. Hang on, wait a minute, nobody from Vanuatu 😀

    Am I being stupid or is English missing?
    Brit
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    Stig said:

    I’ve been checking and checking to make sure you’ve got everyone in there and bugger me, yes you have. Hang on, wait a minute, nobody from Vanuatu 😀

    Am I being stupid or is English missing?
    Brit
    Why is Welshman, Scotsman and Northern Irishman on there, but not Enlgishman
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    Stig said:

    I’ve been checking and checking to make sure you’ve got everyone in there and bugger me, yes you have. Hang on, wait a minute, nobody from Vanuatu 😀

    Am I being stupid or is English missing?
    Brit
    Why is Welshman, Scotsman and Northern Irishman on there, but not Enlgishman
    Because the Welshman / Scot / Irishman have told the Englishman that they're not allowed that because its racist ;)
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    This is so Charlton Life :smile:
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    Stig said:

    I’ve been checking and checking to make sure you’ve got everyone in there and bugger me, yes you have. Hang on, wait a minute, nobody from Vanuatu 😀

    Am I being stupid or is English missing?
    Brit
    Why is Welshman, Scotsman and Northern Irishman on there, but not Enlgishman
    Because the English have been so successful in exporting English culture around the world using the "British" brand that the rest of the word can't tell the difference. The Scots, Welsh and Northern Irish have been rather less successful in this and so have to make more of their differences to the generic British brand. Therefore they get noticed as being something different and we don't.

    Not very funny for a joke thread, but absolutely true.
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    Stig said:

    Stig said:

    I’ve been checking and checking to make sure you’ve got everyone in there and bugger me, yes you have. Hang on, wait a minute, nobody from Vanuatu 😀

    Am I being stupid or is English missing?
    Brit
    Why is Welshman, Scotsman and Northern Irishman on there, but not Enlgishman
    Because the English have been so successful in exporting English culture around the world using the "British" brand that the rest of the word can't tell the difference. The Scots, Welsh and Northern Irish have been rather less successful in this and so have to make more of their differences to the generic British brand. Therefore they get noticed as being something different and we don't.

    Not very funny for a joke thread, but absolutely true.
    In my experience, this is 100% correct.
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    cafcpolo said:

    I’ve been checking and checking to make sure you’ve got everyone in there and bugger me, yes you have. Hang on, wait a minute, nobody from Vanuatu 😀

    Am I being stupid or is English missing?
    Has a Brit but for some reason lists the others individually.

    Also missing a Madagascan :wink:


    Malagasy is Madagascan.
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    cafcpolo said:

    I’ve been checking and checking to make sure you’ve got everyone in there and bugger me, yes you have. Hang on, wait a minute, nobody from Vanuatu 😀

    Am I being stupid or is English missing?
    Has a Brit but for some reason lists the others individually.

    Also missing a Madagascan :wink:


    And a Monagasque although he does have Monacan which I've never heard of. Not to mention those staunch Europhiles, the Gibraltarians.
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    cafcpolo said:

    I’ve been checking and checking to make sure you’ve got everyone in there and bugger me, yes you have. Hang on, wait a minute, nobody from Vanuatu 😀

    Am I being stupid or is English missing?
    Has a Brit but for some reason lists the others individually.

    Also missing a Madagascan :wink:


    And a Monagasque although he does have Monacan which I've never heard of. Not to mention those staunch Europhiles, the Gibraltarians.
    Are there any Pedants?
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    Niue? Vatican City? Marshall Islands. St Kitts and Nevis. I'm sure there's more missing.
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    'Kin 'Ell, it was just a joke........
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    sarge1g said:

    Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus', they have designed the 'Clitaurus'.

    I also heard that Porsche has formed a partnership with old car makers, Riley, and Hyundai to remarket Hyundai's Accent. The vehicle is aimed at upper-class people only and will be called Riley Porsche Accent.
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    A jock by the name of Jim White,
    Has a radio show that’s full of shite.

    Please complete
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    Acab said:

    A jock by the name of Jim White,
    Has a radio show that’s full of shite.

    Please complete

    He spoke of 3rd division football on air
    But fans ended up with ever more despair
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    Acab said:

    A jock by the name of Jim White,
    Has a radio show that’s full of shite.

    Please complete

    He spoke of 3rd division football on air
    But fans ended up with ever more despair
    Roland took him out for a fancy lunch
    Then they went to the stayen hotel for Jim to have a munch
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    Acab said:

    A jock by the name of Jim White,
    Has a radio show that’s full of shite.

    Please complete

    Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
    Shit shit shit shit shit shit.
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    edited January 2019
    A jock by the name of Jim White
    has a programme that's aired on Talk-Shite,
    He appeared in The Sun
    praising Two Shats, his chum,
    Will we ever get rid of this blight?
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    Stig said:

    A jock by the name of Jim White
    has a programme that's aired on Talk-Shite,
    He appeared in The Sun
    praising Two Shat's, his chum,
    Will we ever get rid of this blight?

    Save these for the takeover thread Stig! :)
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    Macronate said:

    First and last time I post on this thread ffs.

    Don’t feel discouraged Macronate. I thought it was a good joke and well worth your typing😀

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    sarge1g said:

    Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus', they have designed the 'Clitaurus'.

    It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it, let alone turn it on, even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.

    Rumour has it that it can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.

    New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain and horribly expensive to get rid of.

    Used models may initially appear to have kerb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel and the kerb weight typically increases with age.

    Manufacturers are baffled as to why the size of the boot increases over time, but say that the paint may just make it 'look' bigger.

    The model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one and replace it when it becomes troublesome.

    I first read that on here about three years ago.
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    I asked my wife if I could touch her hair.

    She said yes, so I ran my finger across her lip and that's how the fight started.
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