Funniest reason for being kicked out of somewhere
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Friend of mine saw a guy thrown out of a club in Zurich for smuggling in alcohol free beer in his coat !! Bouncers were in hysterics.8
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I was in this bar in Oxford Circus in the mid 80’s, when some nutter let off a gun, not quite thrown out, but was carried out in the stampede, had a fight around the corner.12
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Three of us were asked to leave Wonk Kei in Chinatown for playing charades.
Some of us know how to live life on the edge!9 -
What a big, soft sentimentalist you are.T_C_E said:Got thrown out of my mums house for giving my sisters boyfriend later to be husband a good hiding on the doorstep. They came home arguing and woke my mum up around midnight mum called down and told them to keep it down, his reply. "Shut up you old slag" I launched myself at him and was beating the crap out him when I was smashed over the head with what turned out to be a tea tray. It was my mum, she told me to get out of the house. Threw me out for the last time I never went home again after that, she still had that tray when died and it's now here at home.
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A birthday night at the Venue many years ago when my 6 footed, shaven headed, sovereign ringed, tattooed but soft as shit good mate had a bottle of pills retrieved from his jacket during the search on the way in.red10 said:Friend of mine saw a guy thrown out of a club in Zurich for smuggling in alcohol free beer in his coat !! Bouncers were in hysterics.
They were genuine milk thistle tablets...the bouncers just shook their head in disbelief and let him in.
You do not take a bottle of pills to a night club in New Cross. He is from Romford so would expect him to be half street savvy but clearly not.
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Wow what a website.
Fantastic story HJ. Great turnaround in what sounds like a pretty poor start in your life. Well done.
The next three stories have made me weep with laughter. Some very good writers on here.0 -
What a way to come out. Happy for you. Congrats.DA9 said:I was in this bar in Oxford Circus in the mid 80’s, when some nutter let off a gun, not quite thrown out, but was carried out in the stampede, had a fight around the corner.
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Also got thrown out of the Maxwell pub (Orpington) at Christmas 1982 while dressed in Groucho Marx fancy dress, including false glasses, nose, moustache and cigar for drawing a penis with shaving foam on the wall. I tried to emulate the famous Groucho walk while twiddling the cigar as the landlord frogmarched me out but this wound him up even more so he picked me up and literally threw me out the door.10
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Not me being thrown out - early 90's my mate was a DJ in the club scene in London (house music etc) - I used to drive him around on a Friday and Saturday, carry his record case etc, and he would pay me to do it - used to do 3 or 4 sets a night around London - it was a good laugh and got to meet plenty of ladies as a result - we were going to club called Maximus on Leicester Sqe, and as we were walking past the queue to get in, this bloke we knew from schooldays (who was a nasty piece of work) started giving us dogs abuse and generally giving it the big one in front of his mates - we got to the door and as we knew the bouncers I said to one of them about this bloke and pointed him out - bouncer said no probs, we will deal with him and won't let him in etc - when this bloke gets to front if the queue they refuse him entry - he kicks off - they restrain him and call Police - turns out he had rather a lot of drugs on him (!!!) and he gets arrested and banged up
He was a horrible piece of work at school, a bully and picked (and beat up) lads who could not stand up to him (but he never went near the hard lads, so hard was he)
Karma baby karma !!!9 -
Bloke I know got told to leave a pub in Erith cos he was still on his horse when he got to the bar.
Think the cctv even made national press.10 - Sponsored links:
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The Cross Keys? That was a beautiful pubValleyGary said:Bloke I know got told to leave a pub in Erith cos he was still on his horse when he got to the bar.
Think the cctv even made national press.1 -
Remember that Gaz2
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The bloke is now my ex missus brother in law. Which makes him my little girls step uncle.
Fantastic. Can not wait for the phone call asking me to pick up my daughter and her Shetland Pony from Zens.11 -
I remember that! The Cross Keys? Didn't it get shut down?ValleyGary said:Bloke I know got told to leave a pub in Erith cos he was still on his horse when he got to the bar.
Think the cctv even made national press.1 -
Yeah it got shut down after that. It had happened a couple of times but the last time there was quite a lot of them. In the end the council took away the license. Absolute khazi of a pub.North Lower Neil said:
I remember that! The Cross Keys? Didn't it get shut down?ValleyGary said:Bloke I know got told to leave a pub in Erith cos he was still on his horse when he got to the bar.
Think the cctv even made national press.0 -
You have just reminded me......The Running Horses, Erith, the first pub I ever bought a drink in...I was 13....anyway a few of us kids were in there and my mate decides he needs a pony, which was apt given the name of the pub. So he pops of to the khazi and 5 minutes later he walks back, sits at the table and puts a jobby rolled up in toilet paper on the table, just 'for a laugh'.ads said:
The Cross Keys? That was a beautiful pubValleyGary said:Bloke I know got told to leave a pub in Erith cos he was still on his horse when he got to the bar.
Think the cctv even made national press.
Us 5 spotty kids were sat kinda shocked while observing said jobby, when the guvnor comes over to pick up the empties, including crisp packets and picks up the offending item, which fell apart......he went fucking mental, I mean barking mad, I seem to remember clambering over tables and chairs to get out.........and we all legged it up the road with the guvnor milling like a squaddie behind us......we didn't go back.
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It’s probably still there!Greenie said:
You have just reminded me......The Running Horses, Erith, the first pub I ever bought a drink in...I was 13....anyway a few of us kids were in there and my mate decides he needs a pony, which was apt given the name of the pub. So he pops of to the khazi and 5 minutes later he walks back, sits at the table and puts a jobby rolled up in toilet paper on the table, just 'for a laugh'.ads said:
The Cross Keys? That was a beautiful pubValleyGary said:Bloke I know got told to leave a pub in Erith cos he was still on his horse when he got to the bar.
Think the cctv even made national press.
Us 5 spotty kids were sat kinda shocked while observing said jobby, when the guvnor comes over to pick up the empties, including crisp packets and picks up the offending item, which fell apart......he went fucking mental, I mean barking mad, I seem to remember clambering over tables and chairs to get out.........and we all legged it up the road with the guvnor milling like a squaddie behind us......we didn't go back.2 -
nottingham forest away few years back i bought an u-18 tickets as " they never check" had had quite a few before hand and the steward on the door was asking for proof of under 18, anyway let me in half time came and the same steward comes up to me whilst i'm drinking a bottle of beer and goes can i see your id please mate i showed him it without any hassle and then he asked for the ticket which was obviously u-18s and so out i went through the doors at half time and after protesting my innocence to the police was given a stadium ban from nottingham forest for 5 years for public disorder, thankfully we wont be playing them anytime soon.9
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I proper laughed at that one.....ValleyGary said:
It’s probably still there!Greenie said:
You have just reminded me......The Running Horses, Erith, the first pub I ever bought a drink in...I was 13....anyway a few of us kids were in there and my mate decides he needs a pony, which was apt given the name of the pub. So he pops of to the khazi and 5 minutes later he walks back, sits at the table and puts a jobby rolled up in toilet paper on the table, just 'for a laugh'.ads said:
The Cross Keys? That was a beautiful pubValleyGary said:Bloke I know got told to leave a pub in Erith cos he was still on his horse when he got to the bar.
Think the cctv even made national press.
Us 5 spotty kids were sat kinda shocked while observing said jobby, when the guvnor comes over to pick up the empties, including crisp packets and picks up the offending item, which fell apart......he went fucking mental, I mean barking mad, I seem to remember clambering over tables and chairs to get out.........and we all legged it up the road with the guvnor milling like a squaddie behind us......we didn't go back.0 -
A friend went on his stag-do in the 1990s and amongst some of the crap he was given as a joke was a bottle of amyl-nitrate. He forgot about it and discovered it in his coat pocket the next day when having a few pints with mates in his local, the Old Tigers Head in Lee. They all passed it round then left it on the table where, unknown to them, it slowly leaked out. When one of them went to light his cigarette, the whole table went up in a short-lived fireball that blazed up leaving scorch marks on the ceiling.
The landlord came over and they were expecting to get chucked out and all he said to them was ‘try to keep the flames down lads’
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They "accidently" left a bottle of poppers open on a table. Yeah right, we've all been to those types of bars.milo said:A friend went on his stag-do in the 1990s and amongst some of the crap he was given as a joke was a bottle of amyl-nitrate. He forgot about it and discovered it in his coat pocket the next day when having a few pints with mates in his local, the Old Tigers Head in Lee. They all passed it round then left it on the table where, unknown to them, it slowly leaked out. When one of them went to light his cigarette, the whole table went up in a short-lived fireball that blazed up leaving scorch marks on the ceiling.
The landlord came over and they were expecting to get chucked out and all he said to them was ‘try to keep the flames down lads’7 -
Used to go to school with the son of the owner(s) of The Running Horses. Pretty sure he ended up in prison for a bit. Not a family you'd mess with.0
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A work colleague of mine was asked to leave the great eastern hotel Liverpool street for waving his toothbrush at a junior manager in a threatening manner5
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Got tossed out of an all night eating joint after passing out face first into my food and then vomiting in the cloakroom after mistaking it for the loo. Bouncer gently pushed me down the stairs, so woke up the next morning with a bruises on my back about 2 inches apart. Amazingly they barred me3
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Was this the one in circa 2015 R? 1-1 possibly?palarsehater said:nottingham forest away few years back i bought an u-18 tickets as " they never check" had had quite a few before hand and the steward on the door was asking for proof of under 18, anyway let me in half time came and the same steward comes up to me whilst i'm drinking a bottle of beer and goes can i see your id please mate i showed him it without any hassle and then he asked for the ticket which was obviously u-18s and so out i went through the doors at half time and after protesting my innocence to the police was given a stadium ban from nottingham forest for 5 years for public disorder, thankfully we wont be playing them anytime soon.
If so, I didn’t know you then, but I had similar. Rocked up slightly worse for wear with a kids ticket and for the first time ever, got turned away and sent to their ticket office to upgrade. Paid an extra £15 or so and got in 5 mins after kick-off.
5 mins later I was chucked out for arguing with the biggest c**t of a steward I’ve ever encountered. I just wanted to discuss the standing issue, but he literally threw me out the door. Took me days to calm down from that and talk myself out of writing a pointless complaint.0 -
Following on from my throw out from Scunthorpe for smoking even though i dont smoke.The Organiser said:
Was this the one in circa 2015 R? 1-1 possibly?palarsehater said:nottingham forest away few years back i bought an u-18 tickets as " they never check" had had quite a few before hand and the steward on the door was asking for proof of under 18, anyway let me in half time came and the same steward comes up to me whilst i'm drinking a bottle of beer and goes can i see your id please mate i showed him it without any hassle and then he asked for the ticket which was obviously u-18s and so out i went through the doors at half time and after protesting my innocence to the police was given a stadium ban from nottingham forest for 5 years for public disorder, thankfully we wont be playing them anytime soon.
If so, I didn’t know you then, but I had similar. Rocked up slightly worse for wear with a kids ticket and for the first time ever, got turned away and sent to their ticket office to upgrade. Paid an extra £15 or so and got in 5 mins after kick-off.
5 mins later I was chucked out for arguing with the biggest c**t of a steward I’ve ever encountered. I just wanted to discuss the standing issue, but he literally threw me out the door. Took me days to calm down from that and talk myself out of writing a pointless complaint.
A friend of a friend had been thrown out.
I was arguing why theyd been thrown out not swearing or shouting after 5 mins theyd had enough of me so got thrown out.
Outside the ground the police tell me if i dont move on there going to nick me at this time the wife rings, for a laugh i give the phone to the old bill and they tell her ill be getting nicked if i dont move on ,she told them just nick him.
By know my times up arguing and i move on.
Few days later get a phone call fron the club saying ive got to go down the club to explain myself, im not having that so tell the person not going dont even smoke but if they get the cctv of me smoking i will of course go down
Weve not got any cctv of you smoking was his reply
I then replied but youd soon find it if id stabbed someone and put the phone down never heard nothing after that.0 -
12/13 from memory on the way to the ground we had also pissed off some fisherman for singing Charlton songs and apparently scared the fish!, great away day forest mainly for hooters pre match!.The Organiser said:
Was this the one in circa 2015 R? 1-1 possibly?palarsehater said:nottingham forest away few years back i bought an u-18 tickets as " they never check" had had quite a few before hand and the steward on the door was asking for proof of under 18, anyway let me in half time came and the same steward comes up to me whilst i'm drinking a bottle of beer and goes can i see your id please mate i showed him it without any hassle and then he asked for the ticket which was obviously u-18s and so out i went through the doors at half time and after protesting my innocence to the police was given a stadium ban from nottingham forest for 5 years for public disorder, thankfully we wont be playing them anytime soon.
If so, I didn’t know you then, but I had similar. Rocked up slightly worse for wear with a kids ticket and for the first time ever, got turned away and sent to their ticket office to upgrade. Paid an extra £15 or so and got in 5 mins after kick-off.
5 mins later I was chucked out for arguing with the biggest c**t of a steward I’ve ever encountered. I just wanted to discuss the standing issue, but he literally threw me out the door. Took me days to calm down from that and talk myself out of writing a pointless complaint.0 -
I got thrown out a non-smoking pub in the City for smoking at the bar. Thought it was OTT as it was a genuine mistake so made sure on my way out that my pint of Fosters was coming with me for company. Was only when I got to Cannon St supping away and waiting for my train to leave that my brain kicked and realised I’d been been drinking a bottle of Bud but had swiped a strangers full pint.21
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On my brother in laws stag weekend, I got thrown out of a club in Munich for goose stepping on the dance floor. After walking the streets for about an hour I stole a bike and cycled around for a bit, came across a German house / techno club, went in and remember getting really angry because I had to leave the bike outside....saying to the door man “vot if it Getz stolen?”20
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I remember GD going down to help your argument, I even said to him I'll see you at full time! By the time we saw him he was absolutely cunted, no idea what you two had been drinking, I'm guessing either bleech or petrol.The Organiser said:
Was this the one in circa 2015 R? 1-1 possibly?palarsehater said:nottingham forest away few years back i bought an u-18 tickets as " they never check" had had quite a few before hand and the steward on the door was asking for proof of under 18, anyway let me in half time came and the same steward comes up to me whilst i'm drinking a bottle of beer and goes can i see your id please mate i showed him it without any hassle and then he asked for the ticket which was obviously u-18s and so out i went through the doors at half time and after protesting my innocence to the police was given a stadium ban from nottingham forest for 5 years for public disorder, thankfully we wont be playing them anytime soon.
If so, I didn’t know you then, but I had similar. Rocked up slightly worse for wear with a kids ticket and for the first time ever, got turned away and sent to their ticket office to upgrade. Paid an extra £15 or so and got in 5 mins after kick-off.
5 mins later I was chucked out for arguing with the biggest c**t of a steward I’ve ever encountered. I just wanted to discuss the standing issue, but he literally threw me out the door. Took me days to calm down from that and talk myself out of writing a pointless complaint.
His brother got kicked out a few years earlier for chanting Robin Hood is a wanker.
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