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Funniest reason for being kicked out of somewhere

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  • holyjo
    holyjo Posts: 1,326
    I got thrown out of the Phoenix pub at Oxford Circus for firing a replica gun ( A real gun firing blanks) in the toilet . Its a long story but involved a gay fella there trying to accost me the previous week........ my mate got three months in a YOI for bringing the gun into the pub in the first place. It seems incredible now , but I was only 17 when it happened
  • ...
    holyjo said:

    I got thrown out of the Phoenix pub at Oxford Circus for firing a replica gun ( A real gun firing blanks) in the toilet . Its a long story but involved a gay fella there trying to accost me the previous week........ my mate got three months in a YOI for bringing the gun into the pub in the first place. It seems incredible now , but I was only 17 when it happened

    This needs more details
  • blackpool72
    blackpool72 Posts: 23,679
    Got kicked out at QPR back in the 70s for being in the wrong end.
    I went round to the away end and paid to get in for a second time.
    The copper who had thrown me out the 1st time had followed me around the ground and threw me out again.
    This was when QPR had their artificial pitch.
    When I got home I heard we had lost about 5.0.
    Not a good day tbh.
  • Curb_It
    Curb_It Posts: 21,223
    Not very Holy Jo!!
  • MarkyE83
    MarkyE83 Posts: 210
    Kicked out of Venue for having a rip in my jeans. Rung up the cabbie who dropped us off as we’d only be in there 5 minutes. He was smaller than me but we swapped jeans. I struggled with all the stairs but was a cracking night. Swapped back on the way home. He had some funny comments while driving around, a cabbie wearing crazy Mosch.

    Kicked out of the Venue another time as I got short changed and argued. They were bad in there for doing that.

    Kicked out of Zens for having a shit. The doorman said I was doing drugs in there. I proved otherwise and called him a ‘fat melt’ and was ejected shortly after wiping.

    Kicked out of Bedrock in Aiya Napa from singing YMCA when I said I’d sing wonderwall.

    Kicked out of my mates wedding for playing Cock Cocktail at the bar. Great game.

    Kicked out of Matrix in Berlin for playing nosing with the doorman. Another great game when you’ve had a few.

    Bagleys in Kings Cross for wearing white contact lenses.

    I’ll add more as I remember.
  • bobmunro
    bobmunro Posts: 20,846
    sam3110 said:

    Got kicked out of an Indian restaurant while on cricket tour in Devon (i was 15 at the time) because the vice captain started a food fight.

    Got asked to leave a cinema when i was younger for too much "heavy petting" in the back row.

    Thrown out of a pub for puking into the rosebushes in their garden, at quarter past 3 on a Sunday, infront of about 40 people enjoying their Sunday lunch

    Such intolerance is beyond me.
  • CAFCsayer
    CAFCsayer Posts: 10,224
    Shagging in the pool in the middle of a busy nightclub in Aiya Napa... Classy lad don't you know
  • MarkyE83
    MarkyE83 Posts: 210
    CAFCsayer said:

    Shagging in the pool in the middle of a busy nightclub in Aiya Napa... Classy lad don't you know

    Reggae Reggae? The filth in that place.

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  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,825
    In Dublin a couple of weeks ago a mate is smashed and dancing in front of the DJ box in a club.

    Next thing you know the DJ has come out from behind his box and going proper bat shit crazy crazy at my mate, shouting, pointing, prodding and arms flapping around like an over-caffeined Normski. Then he is dragging a bouncer over and my bemused mate is just standing there. The DJ is now holding his nose, pulling his shirt over his nose and wafting his arms. Turns out he genuinely wanted my mate thrown out for farting in front of the DJ box. Fortunately the bouncer found it hilarious.

    To be fair to the DJ, my mate had dropped some bombs earlier and they f***ing stank
  • cafcfan1990
    cafcfan1990 Posts: 12,811

    ...

    holyjo said:

    I got thrown out of the Phoenix pub at Oxford Circus for firing a replica gun ( A real gun firing blanks) in the toilet . Its a long story but involved a gay fella there trying to accost me the previous week........ my mate got three months in a YOI for bringing the gun into the pub in the first place. It seems incredible now , but I was only 17 when it happened

    This needs more details
    agreed, there's questions unanswered there!
  • CAFCsayer
    CAFCsayer Posts: 10,224
    From the resultant scuffle after a game of "upgrade" when smashed up in a club at uni. Basically the premice of the game you pick a couple and your mate has to tap the bird on the shoulder, turn their back on the fella and ask her if she fancied an upgrade. Just so happened to pick the biggest fucker youve ever seen for my mate and hilarity enused
  • CAFCsayer
    CAFCsayer Posts: 10,224
    MarkyE83 said:

    CAFCsayer said:

    Shagging in the pool in the middle of a busy nightclub in Aiya Napa... Classy lad don't you know

    Reggae Reggae? The filth in that place.

    River Reggae indeed... What a place
  • holyjo
    holyjo Posts: 1,326

    ...

    holyjo said:

    I got thrown out of the Phoenix pub at Oxford Circus for firing a replica gun ( A real gun firing blanks) in the toilet . Its a long story but involved a gay fella there trying to accost me the previous week........ my mate got three months in a YOI for bringing the gun into the pub in the first place. It seems incredible now , but I was only 17 when it happened

    This needs more details
    agreed, there's questions unanswered there!
    Rather sadly , I have just sent my PA a dictation to complete with the details of said event ...... A great use of her time I am sure
  • Acab
    Acab Posts: 725

    Got kicked out at QPR back in the 70s for being in the wrong end.
    I went round to the away end and paid to get in for a second time.
    The copper who had thrown me out the 1st time had followed me around the ground and threw me out again.
    This was when QPR had their artificial pitch.
    When I got home I heard we had lost about 5.0.
    Not a good day tbh.

    I too got ejected from the away end when the 5th went in. My crime was to utter’ffs’ in earshot of two young female officers. I said I can save you the bother as I ain’t staying but they insisted on dragging me away.
  • Acab
    Acab Posts: 725
    edited May 2018
    Acab said:

    Got kicked out at QPR back in the 70s for being in the wrong end.
    I went round to the away end and paid to get in for a second time.
    The copper who had thrown me out the 1st time had followed me around the ground and threw me out again.
    This was when QPR had their artificial pitch.
    When I got home I heard we had lost about 5.0.
    Not a good day tbh.

    I too got ejected from the away end when the 5th went in. My crime was to utter’ffs’ in earshot of two young female officers. I said I can save you the bother as I ain’t staying but they insisted on dragging me away.
    Also got thrown out of Blackpool in 72 Blackpool 72
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,825
    MarkyE83 said:



    Kicked out of Zens for having a shit. The doorman said I was doing drugs in there. I proved otherwise and called him a ‘fat melt’ and was ejected shortly after wiping.

    I’m crying!!!
  • CAFCsayer said:

    MarkyE83 said:

    CAFCsayer said:

    Shagging in the pool in the middle of a busy nightclub in Aiya Napa... Classy lad don't you know

    Reggae Reggae? The filth in that place.

    River Reggae indeed... What a place
    @CAFCsayer completely off topic were you at Shrewsbury game Thursday? Just clocked your profile picture and think I was stood/ sat next to you if you were maybe?
  • JaShea99
    JaShea99 Posts: 5,458

    Someone I know at Uni got kicked out of a pub for putting his testicle in his mate's pint glass.

    On reflection, I have absolutely no idea why he did it.

    Presumably because he’s an absolute lad whose banter is out of control and can’t be tamed.
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  • MarkyE83 said:

    Kicked out of Venue for having a rip in my jeans. Rung up the cabbie who dropped us off as we’d only be in there 5 minutes. He was smaller than me but we swapped jeans. I struggled with all the stairs but was a cracking night. Swapped back on the way home. He had some funny comments while driving around, a cabbie wearing crazy Mosch.

    Kicked out of the Venue another time as I got short changed and argued. They were bad in there for doing that.

    Kicked out of Zens for having a shit. The doorman said I was doing drugs in there. I proved otherwise and called him a ‘fat melt’ and was ejected shortly after wiping.

    Kicked out of Bedrock in Aiya Napa from singing YMCA when I said I’d sing wonderwall.

    Kicked out of my mates wedding for playing Cock Cocktail at the bar. Great game.

    Kicked out of Matrix in Berlin for playing nosing with the doorman. Another great game when you’ve had a few.

    Bagleys in Kings Cross for wearing white contact lenses.

    I’ll add more as I remember.

    I need to be taught these game rules haha
  • king addick
    king addick Posts: 3,701
    Once got kicked out for being punched in the face...was talking to a girl id been meeting and texting for a few weeks and her mum didn't like the look of me and punched me in the mouth! I didnt retaliate but apparently it was my fault! Had been drinking but not at all drunk. Weird one....
  • JaShea99 said:

    Someone I know at Uni got kicked out of a pub for putting his testicle in his mate's pint glass.

    On reflection, I have absolutely no idea why he did it.

    Presumably because he’s an absolute lad whose banter is out of control and can’t be tamed.
    Ha! That reminded me of this classic...https://youtu.be/57PlVm7hALA
  • JaShea99
    JaShea99 Posts: 5,458
    Ha, that was part of the inspiration.
  • kigelia
    kigelia Posts: 2,582
    edited May 2018
    I was thrown out of Trafalgar square one new years eve in the 90's. Me and a mate had obtained a giant wooden banana from somewhere during the evening. we managed to sneak it through the security much to our amazement. I then held it above my head in triumph shortly followed by a tap on the shoulder from a police officer who firmly explained to me that I was going to "Return that fucking thing from wherever I got it"

  • dizzee
    dizzee Posts: 5,616
    MarkyE83 said:

    Kicked out of Venue for having a rip in my jeans. Rung up the cabbie who dropped us off as we’d only be in there 5 minutes. He was smaller than me but we swapped jeans. I struggled with all the stairs but was a cracking night. Swapped back on the way home. He had some funny comments while driving around, a cabbie wearing crazy Mosch.

    Kicked out of the Venue another time as I got short changed and argued. They were bad in there for doing that.

    Kicked out of Zens for having a shit. The doorman said I was doing drugs in there. I proved otherwise and called him a ‘fat melt’ and was ejected shortly after wiping.

    Kicked out of Bedrock in Aiya Napa from singing YMCA when I said I’d sing wonderwall.

    Kicked out of my mates wedding for playing Cock Cocktail at the bar. Great game.

    Kicked out of Matrix in Berlin for playing nosing with the doorman. Another great game when you’ve had a few.

    Bagleys in Kings Cross for wearing white contact lenses.

    I’ll add more as I remember.

    Tell you what... it's probably easier if you tell us the nights you've managed to stay in the club.
  • blackpool72
    blackpool72 Posts: 23,679
    Acab said:

    Acab said:

    Got kicked out at QPR back in the 70s for being in the wrong end.
    I went round to the away end and paid to get in for a second time.
    The copper who had thrown me out the 1st time had followed me around the ground and threw me out again.
    This was when QPR had their artificial pitch.
    When I got home I heard we had lost about 5.0.
    Not a good day tbh.

    I too got ejected from the away end when the 5th went in. My crime was to utter’ffs’ in earshot of two young female officers. I said I can save you the bother as I ain’t staying but they insisted on dragging me away.
    Also got thrown out of Blackpool in 72 Blackpool 72
    Plus millwall twice Oxford and cheesterfield.
    Honest Guv I ain't done nuffing.
  • Cordoban Addick
    Cordoban Addick Posts: 5,448
    MarkyE83 said:

    Kicked out of Venue for having a rip in my jeans. Rung up the cabbie who dropped us off as we’d only be in there 5 minutes. He was smaller than me but we swapped jeans. I struggled with all the stairs but was a cracking night. Swapped back on the way home. He had some funny comments while driving around, a cabbie wearing crazy Mosch.

    Kicked out of the Venue another time as I got short changed and argued. They were bad in there for doing that.

    Kicked out of Zens for having a shit. The doorman said I was doing drugs in there. I proved otherwise and called him a ‘fat melt’ and was ejected shortly after wiping.

    Kicked out of Bedrock in Aiya Napa from singing YMCA when I said I’d sing wonderwall.

    Kicked out of my mates wedding for playing Cock Cocktail at the bar. Great game.

    Kicked out of Matrix in Berlin for playing nosing with the doorman. Another great game when you’ve had a few.

    Bagleys in Kings Cross for wearing white contact lenses.

    I’ll add more as I remember.

    I had that (not Zens) I had to persuade the bouncer into the loo and get him to smell it so he wouldn't chuck me out.
  • Greenie
    Greenie Posts: 9,172
    When I was a skinny gangly kid weighing about 7 stone, I was kicked out the Cupboard End when we played Plymouth about '79.
    Someone swore at the ref, I laughed and old black beard the copper, decided it was me and frog marched me to the holding cell under the old main stand, the spiteful fucker even gave me a couple of digs to get me on my way, and then threw me in the cell that contained only Plymouth.......then after the game, they chucked me out. I think we last as well?
  • palarsehater
    palarsehater Posts: 12,296
    got kicked out of a pub for making a comment on the barmans suntan sunglass mark, i asked how was your holiday.