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Has the Jokes thread disappeared?

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  • That sort of mysogynistic joke will see this thread going the way of the previous one if the mods have their way 🙄
  • .A blonde gets a dent in her car and takes it to the repair shop.  The panel-beater, noticing the woman is blonde, decides to have a wee bit of fun.  So he tells her that all she has to do is take her car home and blow in the exhaust pipe until the dent pops itself out.

    So the blonde goes home and gives it a try.  After 15 minutes of this the blonde’s friend, who is also a blonde, comes over and asks what she is doing.

    ”I’m trying to pop out this dent, but it’s not really working”

    ”’Duh.  You have to roll up the windows first!”
  • Taxi_Lad said:
    That sort of mysogynistic joke will see this thread going the way of the previous one if the mods have their way 🙄
    misogynist

    noun
    1. a person who dislikesdespises, or is strongly prejudiced against women.
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  • stonemuse said:

    Whereas Boris Johnson’s was being used as God’s helicopter. 


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  • _MrDick said:
    Chris Eubank has just finished writing a book about Ethics. He’s said that if it’s successful, he’ll write books about Kent and Surrey too. 
    That joke wrote itself after the first sentence.
  • Danepak said:
    I went to the hairdressers and said “Can I have a haircut like Tom Cruise?”

    The barber gets his clippers out and shaves my head.

    I said “Tom Cruise doesn’t have his hair like this!”

    And the barber says “He would if he came here”

    This joke is from a play called ’Our Day Out’ by Willy Russell. 
    In the play, it’s Tony Curtis, not Tom Cruise.

    Sorry to be a bore but just thought it worth adding fyi
  • _MrDick said:
    Chris Eubank has just finished writing a book about Ethics. He’s said that if it’s successful, he’ll write books about Kent and Surrey too. 
    Remember when they used to have randoms presenting Top of the Pops,  and Eubank had to read out the top 10 and had to say ‘ and at 6 it’s Suggs with Cecilia’ 
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  • A couple are going through some tough times, so they agree that the woman will walk the streets for a night and see if she can make a bit of money.  The guy drops her off on a corner in a rough area of town and drives off.  

    The next morning he picks her up and finds her with her hair a mess, make-up smudged and obviously needing a lot of rest.

    She climbs in the car and excitedly says “Look honey, I made $40.50”.

    ”Which of the buggers gave you 50 cents?”  he asks.

    ”All of them”. she says.



  • edited September 24
    I went to a restaurant last night. 
    I ordered a starter and the waiter wacked me across me face. 
    I ordered the main meal and he came over again and walloped me. 
    I ordered dessert, and he lamped me one again....
    That’s the last time I go out for a slap up meal.

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