I once had a dream that i was eating a fucking great marshmellow. Woke up and one of my pillows was missing!
Tommy Cooper - London Palladium (c) 1975
Hilarious anyway
Absolutely!
You should see this hat i've got. I took an arrow, sawed it in half and stuck each half to either side of the cowboy hat. Fucking hilarious, don't know where i got the idea from.
Many years ago I was on my way home from a game at the Valley and was dropping in to my mum and dads house on my way, they lived just outside Stockport.
I was on the M25 when I noticed I had been behind the same car for a while. When we got to the M1 junction he went north and I followed and as he drove at a speed I normally drove at and and we had similar motorway driving styles I was happy enough to stay behind him. At J19 he took the M6 and I duly followed and I was now more than curious as to where he was heading and this curiosity increased when he indicated to come off for the M56 towards Manchester as did I. He then came off the motorway at my junction and headed towards Bramhall where my parents lived and by now I am sticking to him like glue to see where he ended up!
As we neared my parents area I was getting close to where I would turn off and was laughing to myself at how far we had followed each other when his indicator went on to turn right, I was gobsmacked! We went down a couple of residential roads and then to my utter shock he turned in to my parents road - a cul de sac. At this point I actually hesitated before following him.
As I turned in he slammed his brakes on, jumped out of his car, ran to my door and screamed 'ok, lets just have it out now, at what effing point did I piss you off?'
Turned out he lived four doors from my parents and was on his way back from working in Kent somewhere. He had clocked me in his mirror and was doing exactly the same, keeping a steady speed and as we got further in to the journey he was also curious as to how far I would follow. He only got concerned when I followed him in to Bramhall and when I followed him in to the cul de sac he was convinced I was some nutter on his case!
You really should take a break on a journey that long! 😉
I don't stop for anything other than fuel when I'm on fumes. Wife and kids absolutely hate doing long journeys with me!
I'm normally a pretty sound sleeper, but if ever I'm struggling I think there's nothing better than Chopin's Nocturnes to put me in a nice relaxed mood for sleep. Last night I was struggling but fancied listening to something different. As a recent convert to Muse (I previously thought their singles were alright, but have never listened to any of their albums before) I tried listening to their Resistance album. Four songs in (United States of Eurasia) and they were playing Nocturne #2 in E Flat!
I'm normally a pretty sound sleeper, but if ever I'm struggling I think there's nothing better than Chopin's Nocturnes to put me in a nice relaxed mood for sleep. Last night I was struggling but fancied listening to something different. As a recent convert to Muse (I previously thought their singles were alright, but have never listened to any of their albums before) I tried listening to their Resistance album. Four songs in (United States of Eurasia) and they were playing Nocturne #2 in E Flat!
Think of all the times coincidences don't happen. You don't remark on those. "Oh, I was reading a book on Stalingrad and it wasn't mentioned on the news at the same time'.
Coincidences stand out because they're rare but memorable.
This morning we took a video call from my excited son telling us that he'd got engaged to his girlfriend last night. This afternoon a helium balloon flew into our garden; it was in the shape of an engagement ring.
We're looking at moving to South Lincolnshire and I'm also looking at renting a self contained unit for my business in the same area. I found a really nice brand new one, on a new small industrial estate, with about 10 units, just on the outskirts of Lincoln itself. It has an office, kitchenette, and a large wc (I'm looking at installing a shower into the unit, so a decent sized wc is quite important), and it had parking for 4 cars.
Meanwhile, a bloke I follow on YouTube who does rc cars (just a bit of escapism, I know nothing about rc cars) had a special announcement to make about his channel. When I watched it, it was about him moving his studio out if his spare room and into a unit. I'm sitting there watching him walking around inside this unit, and all of a sudden he say and look at the size of the toilet, that's when I started paying a bit more attention. From inside it looked the same as the one I was looking at, but they all do look the same. Next video he put up, he's outside the unit, and it looked exactly the same outside n all. I've commented underneath and, sure enough, the unit he's moved into us on the very same industrial estate as the one I was looking at. I didn't even know he was in Lincolnshire before this...
Went to the gents before the game and some bloke came and stood next to me and said I had a very distinctive coat. Then he nodded to the cubicles and asked if he could try it on.
"Nah, you're alright sunshine" I replied and hastily left just to hear him complimenting another toilet user on his "distinctive" coat.
Came back at half time for another jimmy and same bloke in there asking blokes if they fancied letting him try on their distinctive coat in the cubicle. I just ignored him and left.
I used to work in an office with a bloke who only lived a couple of miles up the road from me......I was in Eltham and he was in Blackfen (this isn't the coincidence).
We found out that our phone numbers were identical other than the fact that the last 2 numbers were transposed.
One night I got a call asking to speak to the bloke I worked with.
I told the caller that he had the wrong number - but was also able to tell him the correct number to call.
If I was the caller I think it would have freaked me out a bit that I had dialled the wrong number.....but the 'right' wrong number that was able to tell me the correct phone number for the person I needed to speak to.
There's quite a well-known story, along the lines of, a bloke broken down and waiting next to a pay phone for the recovery vehicle to turn
up. The public phone started ringing and he went in and answered thinking it
was the AA or whatever, but it was his wife. She'd misdialled his work number
and dialled the number of the public phone he was standing next to.
Watching TV last night, my wife reminded me of another coincidence. Shortly after leaving school in the late 70's, I was sat in the old buffet bar in Manchester Piccadilly station waiting for an evening train home from work. I had my head down reading the paper when someone asked if they could sit at my table, I looked up and it was Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee, they were waiting for the last train down to London to film their show. This was just at the start of Paul Daniels fame.
Fast forward about 36 years and I was on a shoot organised by the then Wigan chairman David Sharpe, footballs youngest chairman and grandson of Dave Whelan. The pre shoot breakfast was held unsurprisingly in a mega posh joint in Lancashire and as I am getting stuck in to my bacon and egg, a voice asks if the empty seats at my table are free, I looked up to see Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee!!
I couldn't help but laugh out loud as I said the seats are free much to their amusement, but when I explained they were both as gobsmacked as I was.
Watching TV last night, my wife reminded me of another coincidence. Shortly after leaving school in the late 70's, I was sat in the old buffet bar in Manchester Piccadilly station waiting for an evening train home from work. I had my head down reading the paper when someone asked if they could sit at my table, I looked up and it was Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee, they were waiting for the last train down to London to film their show. This was just at the start of Paul Daniels fame.
Fast forward about 36 years and I was on a shoot organised by the then Wigan chairman David Sharpe, footballs youngest chairman and grandson of Dave Whelan. The pre shoot breakfast was held unsurprisingly in a mega posh joint in Lancashire and as I am getting stuck in to my bacon and egg, a voice asks if the empty seats at my table are free, I looked up to see Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee!!
I couldn't help but laugh out loud as I said the seats are free much to their amusement, but when I explained they were both as gobsmacked as I was.
I'm normally a pretty sound sleeper, but if ever I'm struggling I think there's nothing better than Chopin's Nocturnes to put me in a nice relaxed mood for sleep. Last night I was struggling but fancied listening to something different. As a recent convert to Muse (I previously thought their singles were alright, but have never listened to any of their albums before) I tried listening to their Resistance album. Four songs in (United States of Eurasia) and they were playing Nocturne #2 in E Flat!
I hear the Spanner shop(lift) has rebranded a version of the Siri device. There was great debate over the name (ok that's a lie...) but in the end they have called it C***.
I have a reoccurring thing - When I'm writing a message on the phone or email on the computer with the tele on in the background, someone will say a random word on the tele, just as I'm halfway through, or about to write the same word.
I have a reoccurring thing - When I'm writing a message on the phone or email on the computer with the tele on in the background, someone will say a random word on the tele, just as I'm halfway through, or about to write the same word.
On Saturday my wife was singing an Abba song (I think). Consequently I ended up singing it to myself as well. I turned the telly on for Celebrity Pointless and the first words uttered were the name of said song (the song being an answer to the question) - weird.
I have a reoccurring thing - When I'm writing a message on the phone or email on the computer with the tele on in the background, someone will say a random word on the tele, just as I'm halfway through, or about to write the same word.
Usually the word 'The' ?
No that's what I mean. It'll be a random word, or even someone's name or place name. I'll be writing it or about to and it comes up on the tele or radio.
My Mrs has witnessed it a few times when we've been doing admin bits and emails together
Had a beer last night and asked my pal at breakfast if he had any paracetamol. He said he had Nurofen, but I can’t take those as get a reaction to ibroprufen. My phone is charging back in the room.
after breakfast go back to the room, later on I pick up my phone and look at Facebook. First thing on my timeline is an advert for Nurofen.
Had a beer last night and asked my pal at breakfast if he had any paracetamol. He said he had Nurofen, but I can’t take those as get a reaction to ibroprufen. My phone is charging back in the room.
after breakfast go back to the room, later on I pick up my phone and look at Facebook. First thing on my timeline is an advert for Nurofen.
Alexa/Siri is always listening (has to in case its name is called).
It sits on the wifi network, probably has your phone on the same network.
2 + 2 = 3.9999
George Orwell looking very smug behind the pearly gates I reckon.
Had a beer last night and asked my pal at breakfast if he had any paracetamol. He said he had Nurofen, but I can’t take those as get a reaction to ibroprufen. My phone is charging back in the room.
after breakfast go back to the room, later on I pick up my phone and look at Facebook. First thing on my timeline is an advert for Nurofen.
That's no coincidence
I'm only half joking here. I'm not a big believer in conspiracy theories, because most of them are total junk spread by nutters, but I've more than half a belief that the devices we use every day are regularly used by others for more than we might like them to be. My son told me a story about a mate of his who made a personal fortune because he won some sort of marketing contract with Gym Shark. I'd never heard of this company before, and frankly I have zero interest in them. Within hours of him telling me I was getting bombarded with ads for them.
Comments
Coincidences stand out because they're rare but memorable.
This afternoon a helium balloon flew into our garden; it was in the shape of an engagement ring.
We're looking at moving to South Lincolnshire and I'm also looking at renting a self contained unit for my business in the same area. I found a really nice brand new one, on a new small industrial estate, with about 10 units, just on the outskirts of Lincoln itself. It has an office, kitchenette, and a large wc (I'm looking at installing a shower into the unit, so a decent sized wc is quite important), and it had parking for 4 cars.
Meanwhile, a bloke I follow on YouTube who does rc cars (just a bit of escapism, I know nothing about rc cars) had a special announcement to make about his channel. When I watched it, it was about him moving his studio out if his spare room and into a unit. I'm sitting there watching him walking around inside this unit, and all of a sudden he say and look at the size of the toilet, that's when I started paying a bit more attention. From inside it looked the same as the one I was looking at, but they all do look the same. Next video he put up, he's outside the unit, and it looked exactly the same outside n all. I've commented underneath and, sure enough, the unit he's moved into us on the very same industrial estate as the one I was looking at. I didn't even know he was in Lincolnshire before this...
Went a loo again at half time, different place, and stood next to the same bloke again!
out of a thousand plus people at exactly the same time
"Nah, you're alright sunshine" I replied and hastily left just to hear him complimenting another toilet user on his "distinctive" coat.
Came back at half time for another jimmy and same bloke in there asking blokes if they fancied letting him try on their distinctive coat in the cubicle. I just ignored him and left.
Think he had been in there the whole half.
Felt a bit sorry for him really:-(
Same thing happened all this week
Coincidence?, or God showing his presence through order in the world.....
We found out that our phone numbers were identical other than the fact that the last 2 numbers were transposed.
One night I got a call asking to speak to the bloke I worked with.
I told the caller that he had the wrong number - but was also able to tell him the correct number to call.
If I was the caller I think it would have freaked me out a bit that I had dialled the wrong number.....but the 'right' wrong number that was able to tell me the correct phone number for the person I needed to speak to.
Shortly after leaving school in the late 70's, I was sat in the old buffet bar in Manchester Piccadilly station waiting for an evening train home from work. I had my head down reading the paper when someone asked if they could sit at my table, I looked up and it was Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee, they were waiting for the last train down to London to film their show. This was just at the start of Paul Daniels fame.
Fast forward about 36 years and I was on a shoot organised by the then Wigan chairman David Sharpe, footballs youngest chairman and grandson of Dave Whelan. The pre shoot breakfast was held unsurprisingly in a mega posh joint in Lancashire and as I am getting stuck in to my bacon and egg, a voice asks if the empty seats at my table are free, I looked up to see Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee!!
I couldn't help but laugh out loud as I said the seats are free much to their amusement, but when I explained they were both as gobsmacked as I was.
On Saturday my wife was singing an Abba song (I think).
Consequently I ended up singing it to myself as well.
I turned the telly on for Celebrity Pointless and the first words uttered were the name of said song (the song being an answer to the question) - weird.
My Mrs has witnessed it a few times when we've been doing admin bits and emails together
after breakfast go back to the room, later on I pick up my phone and look at Facebook. First thing on my timeline is an advert for Nurofen.
George Orwell looking very smug behind the pearly gates I reckon.
I'm only half joking here. I'm not a big believer in conspiracy theories, because most of them are total junk spread by nutters, but I've more than half a belief that the devices we use every day are regularly used by others for more than we might like them to be. My son told me a story about a mate of his who made a personal fortune because he won some sort of marketing contract with Gym Shark. I'd never heard of this company before, and frankly I have zero interest in them. Within hours of him telling me I was getting bombarded with ads for them.