I was walking over a beautifully tiled floor in the Guildhall discussing a telecoms job with a customer. My colleague was following a few paces behind. The customer suddenly turns around and the quizzical look on his face forced my gaze upon my colleague.
He was walking, head down in a meandering fashion, seemingly without a care in the world. Sensing he was now being watched, my colleague stops and looks up. Customer enquires, ‘You alright there?’ He simply replies ‘Mustn’t step on the cracks’.
I thought I’d landed a bit part in One flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest.
I think my oppos, when I worked at Rentokil, would say that I was weird for returning correct and honest coin meter expenses sheets and not adjusting the times on my PDA, but then I was one of the only ones on the team of about 60 that worked out that the vans were fitted with trackers and the PDA recorded the actual times you went into the it's settings and altered the times. Well we all knew once our manager got up the info on the over head projector in a team meeting
This is gross ...In the days before open plan offices and hot desking, I used to sit next to a chap who constantly bit his nails and picked his nose. To cut a long story short, he got a promotion and moved to another department. As you'd expect he cleared his desk of personal belongings and moved out and before you could say boo to a goose, another colleague jumps into his space as it was a seat next to the window. So my colleague started to move her stuff across into the vacated pedestal. However, the nail biter and nose picker hadn't quite cleared the pedestal properly. He left behind a yoghurt pot full of nail clippings and bogeys. Some people ...
^ haha, reminds me of my sisters friends dad (tenuous link but true). Used to bite his nails and leave them in piles around his house. His wife got so fed up that one day she gathered them all up and put them in his sandwiches for work. Trouble was that day he went out for lunch so gave the sandwiches to his secretary instead.
My old boss used to rip the phone out of the wall and lob it against the opposite wall to smash it before walking into the corridor and screaming fairly regularly.
It was bloke at works 21st and in those days Natwest had a staff pub and a staff wine bar with dirt cheap booze. Office went to pub at lunch to celebrate his birthday and he was quite drunk. He went off to the toilets and about 20 mins later one of the barmen came over to us and asked us to sort out the birthday boy. We went into the toilets to find had had gone for a shit, thrown up into his pants/ suit trousers and fallen asleep. I had to go to a nearby sports shop, buy a cheap tracksuit for him whilst other braver people helped him out of his soiled clothes to send him home in a cab.
The woman in charge at my very first place of work, who was due to retire as she was coming up to 60, asked a junior girl to pop across the road to get a box of teabags. Now the boss in question was a a bit of an old battleaxe so, with that in mind, you can imagine how she reacted when the girl came back with.............. a box of tampax. Quite how the girl got it so wrong I will never know.
They both work on the premise, that the longer they stay in for, the stronger the brew.
Also had a young fella phone in sick once because the lift was broken, we were on the 6th floor and he was so out of shape he couldn’t get up the stairs past the second floor. Literally phoned up from the landing then went home!
Also had an old fella phone in sick once because the lift was broken, we were on the 6th floor and he was so out of shape he couldn’t get up the stairs past the second floor. Literally phoned up from the landing then went home!
I worked for the sports association of one of the major banks and the bank's sailing club had an office upstairs. We often used to walk into his office and find the sailing club's secretary lying on the floor fast asleep behind his desk.
I worked for the sports association of one of the major banks and the bank's sailing club had an office upstairs. We often used to walk into his office and find him lying on the floor fast asleep behind his desk.
I worked for the sports association of one of the major banks and the bank's sailing club had an office upstairs. We often used to walk into his office and find him lying on the floor fast asleep behind his desk.
I'd love to have an important enough job that I could take a nap without getting fired.
I worked for the sports association of one of the major banks and the bank's sailing club had an office upstairs. We often used to walk into his office and find him lying on the floor fast asleep behind his desk.
Also had an old fella phone in sick once because the lift was broken, we were on the 6th floor and he was so out of shape he couldn’t get up the stairs past the second floor. Literally phoned up from the landing then went home!
Had a girl over in the UK (from the USA) on secondment to teach a very specific training course. Lived in the on-site hotel. Went back to the USA and resigned from her job there - so never came back. We had to clear out the stuff from her room and found the bedside cabinet stuffed with, err, "sex toys"...
I’m going back to the mid 80’s now, working at GEC Elliot’s/Fisher Controls in lewisham (now flats and DLR route runs through it) There was a guy in the production chasers office who was notoriously tight, in his late 30’s, still lived at home with his mum & dad. He was known to photocopy someone’s newspaper to save himself buying one, re-used tea bags 2-3 times, he used to tape together two ends of stubby pencils to make one large one, kept the plastic covers on his car seats that came when he bought it (2-3 years previous), and the piece de resistance was one xmas, a few of us said we would put in 50p or £1 (this was 1986) to get some buffet snack bits for up the pub for next weeks impromptu xmas drink (the Sydney Arms) He went on for 10-15 minutes discussing with the whip collector just how many sausage rolls and scotch eggs etc he was guaranteed to get for his money.
At the same company as above, a porn magazine was discovered from the mid 70’s of one of the women in a department and her husband in all their glory doing the beast with the two backs, she denied everything, although he still had the same beard (hippy couple) and her prominent moles all matched
Girl mid 20s at work. Spins around in her chair and accidentally kicks her rucksack over. It was open and out falls a massive vibrator. You know those rampant rabbit types.
Only me and one other guy saw it... we haven't stopped laughing about it yet. She asked us to keep it quiet and has avoided us ever since.
Worked in an office a few years ago where at various times they found piss in the sink (plug in), a sh*t in a urinal, sh*t on tge partitioning between cubicles, and a porn mag inside a zip lock bag inside the cistern.
It all mysteriously stopped when IT moved externally, so there were your suspects!
Girl mid 20s at work. Spins around in her chair and accidentally kicks her rucksack over. It was open and out falls a massive vibrator. You know those rampant rabbit types.
Only me and one other guy saw it... we haven't stopped laughing about it yet. She asked us to keep it quiet and has avoided us ever since.
Comments
He was walking, head down in a meandering fashion, seemingly without a care in the world. Sensing he was now being watched, my colleague stops and looks up. Customer enquires, ‘You alright there?’ He simply replies ‘Mustn’t step on the cracks’.
I thought I’d landed a bit part in One flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest.
My old boss used to rip the phone out of the wall and lob it against the opposite wall to smash it before walking into the corridor and screaming fairly regularly.
There was a guy in the production chasers office who was notoriously tight, in his late 30’s, still lived at home with his mum & dad.
He was known to photocopy someone’s newspaper to save himself buying one, re-used tea bags 2-3 times, he used to tape together two ends of stubby pencils to make one large one, kept the plastic covers on his car seats that came when he bought it (2-3 years previous), and the piece de resistance was one xmas, a few of us said we would put in 50p or £1 (this was 1986) to get some buffet snack bits for up the pub for next weeks impromptu xmas drink (the Sydney Arms)
He went on for 10-15 minutes discussing with the whip collector just how many sausage rolls and scotch eggs etc he was guaranteed to get for his money.
Girl mid 20s at work. Spins around in her chair and accidentally kicks her rucksack over. It was open and out falls a massive vibrator. You know those rampant rabbit types.
Only me and one other guy saw it... we haven't stopped laughing about it yet. She asked us to keep it quiet and has avoided us ever since.
Worked in an office a few years ago where at various times they found piss in the sink (plug in), a sh*t in a urinal, sh*t on tge partitioning between cubicles, and a porn mag inside a zip lock bag inside the cistern.
It all mysteriously stopped when IT moved externally, so there were your suspects!