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Best nicknames you've ever heard

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  • muppetman said:
    We had a Corporal Withers, who was nick named Googie. But not to his face of course.
    I dont get this one
  • Played in a poor Sunday league team many years ago with a bloke whose last name was Twelvetree. His disciplinary record wasn't great, his nickname was Tenmen.
  • MrOneLung said:
    muppetman said:
    We had a Corporal Withers, who was nick named Googie. But not to his face of course.
    I dont get this one
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Googie_Withers
  • IdleHans said:
    Played in a poor Sunday league team many years ago with a bloke whose last name was Twelvetree. His disciplinary record wasn't great, his nickname was Tenmen.
    Reminds me of Billy Twelvetrees being nicknamed 36.
  • Essex_Al said:
    Used to work with a bloke named Bates, everyone used to call him Master!
    We had a teacher at school who called every student Master and he had an accent that led him to pronounce the 'a' like in 'cat' rather than like in 'day.' He had this habit (and accent) for every class but we did actually have a kid called Bates in our class.

  • I used to be really shy as a kid, so when I was about 10/11 and moved from Bromley to the countryside I struggled to make friends so my parents decided to enroll me to the local U12 football team. Unfortunately I wore my Charlton kit. Being so shy and having not revealed my name, I was given the nickname 'Redbus'. 4 years that bloody name stuck.
    You're lucky not to get a flag for "Unfortunately I wore my Charlton kit.". Think how lucky you were, you could have been called Fads, Mesh or Viglen.
    They are not too bad. Better than being called 'University of Greenwich' for four years.
  • There was a tubby lad at school nicknamed Jack. Getting changed after cross country running, his face would be red from exertion, his top half a pasty white and his legs blue from the cold.
     Red, white and blue = Union Jack.
  • Not from my personal knowledge but I heard somewhere that there was a guy who had a very big limp because one leg was considerably shorter than the other. His colleagues called him “snipers nightmare”
  • Saw a tweet a couple of weeks ago suggesting one of the best nicknames ever. Guy he worked with was called Wayne Bruce and his nickname was Manbat.
    https://batman.fandom.com/wiki/Man-Bat

    If he works with Landstrom Robert then he can call him Batman.
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  • Swisdom said:
    A guy at work is called Marmite because people either love him or hate him I call him Tampax - they are both stuck up cun.... I'll stop there
    Thanks for that. We had a teacher at school who was called Tampax. Now I get it.🙂 - better late than never 
  • Chap on my uni course only ever wore polo neck jumpers, his name was Paul so for the full 3 years he was only ever known as Paul O'Neck (to this day I don't know his real surname)
    Skinback
  • BFG94 said:
    There was a tubby lad at school nicknamed Jack. Getting changed after cross country running, his face would be red from exertion, his top half a pasty white and his legs blue from the cold.
     Red, white and blue = Union Jack.
    We had a mate who from a combination of wearing tshirts on holiday, then a vest one day he got sunburnt, was brown up to his elbows, red to his shoulders, and then has a white chest.  

    Got called Neapolitan by everyone at the hotel bar etc all holiday.
  • Five years ago a new colleague joined the team at work. Being new and in his first proper job he was of course encouraged to ask questions.

    One day he suddenly stood up from his desk and asked three of us opposite “what’s a twam? which resulted in us bursting out laughing.

    It turned out a director had made a typo in a spreadsheet and the word should have been “team”.

    He was known as Twam for quite a while. He eventually progressed in the team and wanted it to stop as it was associated with his naivety early on in his career.
  • When I was at school I suffered from really bad acne and was called either pizza face or join-the-dots!
  • I had the nickname Nelson (after Nelson Piquet) at school on account of my initials being PK.
  • I have a friend that lurks on here who is often known as the lager monster.
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  • I had the nickname Nelson (after Nelson Piquet) at school on account of my initials being PK.
    Like that a lot 
  • edited November 2022
    IdleHans said:
    Played in a poor Sunday league team many years ago with a bloke whose last name was Twelvetree. His disciplinary record wasn't great, his nickname was Tenmen.
    Reminds me of Billy Twelvetrees being nicknamed 36.
    I knew his sister Julie, a lovely girl, I think she used to work at A&M records.
  • We had a guy called ‘ no nickname’ because he didn’t want one.
  • My mate had a work colleague they used to call Johnny Coldhands because he always walked about with his hands in his pockets 
  • My first job there was a lad called Lionel or as it ended up Urinal Lionel.
  • Had a mate who always did everything very slowly and deliberately who was known as Johnny Onespeed.    
  • edited November 2022
    There was a fella I used to know as Mark up the pub who his mates would refer to as "Parker", so I assumed his name was Mark Parker. Found out years later it was nothing of the sort, he'd been the first one to get a car and used to ferry the others about, although none of them looked like Lady Penelope unfortunately.

    Another mate had a perm about 40 years ago, but is still known universally as Poodle.


  • Tim Wiseman
  • edited March 16
    Simonsen said:
    Bob Cunt 
    He was a wrong un along with his twin brother. They were known as 2 Bob C***s.
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