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General things that Please you

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  • The phrase "bonkers shenanigans"
  • 3 rolls @ 220 sheets per roll = 660 sheets
    Average sheet usage per visit = 6
    Therefore number of visits remaining = 110
    Average number of visits per day = 1
    Therefore remaining days supply = 110
    Remaining weeks supply = 15 and 5 days

    And Boris reckons 12 more weeks. Happy days!
  • IdleHans said:
    3 rolls @ 220 sheets per roll = 660 sheets
    Average sheet usage per visit = 6
    Therefore number of visits remaining = 110
    Average number of visits per day = 1
    Therefore remaining days supply = 110
    Remaining weeks supply = 15 and 5 days

    And Boris reckons 12 more weeks. Happy days!
    Is that all you use? No wonder you call yourself Idle Hands.
  • Oh dear. What's normal?
  • I could increase it to 7.85 sheets per visit, but to be honest it starts to get a bit fiddly
  • Apparently the average household has 500% of the toilet roll they need to survive a 14 day self isolation
  • SCRATCH AND SNIFF

    SCIENTIST BEHIND THE "MEAT PATCH" EXPLAINS WHY SMELLING BACON HELPS YOU GO VEGETARIAN

  • Writing out a list of dogs grub for my missus to order on the phone and listening to repeat it to the supplier.
    2x 25kg beef mince
    2x 25kg chicken mince 
    5kg salmon heads 
    6x beef hearts
    20 x cows testicles 
    apparently the lady started laughing 😂
  • T_C_E said:
    Writing out a list of dogs grub for my missus to order on the phone and listening to repeat it to the supplier.
    2x 25kg beef mince
    2x 25kg chicken mince 
    5kg salmon heads 
    6x beef hearts
    20 x cows testicles 
    apparently the lady started laughing 😂
    There's few things funnier than seeing a chicken mince.


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  • Getting our prescriptions delivered by the chemist finally, getting told to stay away from the pharmacy due to my wife’s susceptibility to illness and running out of painkillers for my osteoarthritis three days ago has meant our dogs had no exercise for two days. Now I’m pilled up and ready to go, tomorrow they will wonder what’s hit them, our fields all exclusive to them. 😉👍🐕
  • T_C_E said:
    Getting our prescriptions delivered by the chemist finally, getting told to stay away from the pharmacy due to my wife’s susceptibility to illness and running out of painkillers for my osteoarthritis three days ago has meant our dogs had no exercise for two days. Now I’m pilled up and ready to go, tomorrow they will wonder what’s hit them, our fields all exclusive to them. 😉👍🐕
    If I lived closer,I'd have taken them out one at a time for you mate.

  • On a lead with full protection attire!!
  • On a lead with full protection attire!!
    Only allowed one exercise period per day and anyway no one walks our dogs one at a time. 😂




  • #ClapForOurCarers

    including my own I can see 20 houses in the square I live on
    14 were out the front clapping at 8pm
  • #ClapForOurCarers

    including my own I can see 20 houses in the square I live on
    14 were out the front clapping at 8pm
    Gave me goosebumps mate. Insane.
  • The Google 3D animals.  You can literally get a tiger to stand in your room and then walk around it (viewing through your iphone obviously) as it snarls away.  Children like to be snapped photographed by them too.



  • edited April 2020
    Seeing the total raised on Captain Tom Moore’s page

    he hoped to raise a thousand pounds.....now over 9 million, it’s currently rising by about a thousand pounds EVERY 30 SECONDS!

    https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/tomswalkforthenhs
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  • The Google 3D animals.  You can literally get a tiger to stand in your room and then walk around it (viewing through your iphone obviously) as it snarls away.  Children like to be snapped photographed by them too.



    Thanks @Rai@Raith_C_Chattonell

    hadn’t heard of this. 
  • Having washed our front windows for the first time in six years (furloughed the window cleaner) 😉 Woke this morning to a nice bright sunny day and it looks like I used @BR3red decomposing cat. 
  • Stripping down the carburettor on a British Seagull Forty plus 2 stroke outboard, cleaning it, reassembling and priming it, all under the inquisitive eye of my next door neighbour.
    It's an old engine, 1973, based on a 1930s design, and hasn't been used for about three years. 
    Little beauty started first pull.
  • After spending a lot of time home schooling this week and not getting work done, son goes to his mum’s and rather than using that as an excuse to get in the booze, spend a full day working in the computer and finish 3 significant tasks ahead of time and thankfully find out my ‘hunches’ based on limited work were actually right as well. 
  • Desperately trying to catch up with the bonkers shenanigans thread and finding a whole page of double-acts listed.  Excellent, I hope there's some more easy reads like this in the coming pages. 
  • Carried over from things that annoy you...
    Once the idiot driver had been carted away in an ambulance, plod evacuated all the houses within 100 yards due to the gas leak.

    Some bright spark called the landlady of The Bull, who opened the pub and gave everyone tea, coffee and biscuits. Bit surreal being in a pub anyway,  but moreso with 50 pyjama-clad locals and their dogs at 4am, like something from Shaun of the Dead.

    But a great way to meet new neighbours, and everyone was in a Blitz-spirit good mood. 

    And now the high street has been closed pending demolition of what remains of the collapsed building, so the tossers in noisy Corsas and crappy motorbikes don't disturb my sleep any longer. 
  • Having a great peaceful Sunday afternoon, got Spotify on reliving our youth with some absolutely brilliant music, just the ‘60s nothing else, loving it, bringing all sorts of memories, some good, some sad, but memories all the same, Waterloo sunset just been on, now playing where did our lover go one of my wife’s all timesfavourite, now from bookends Mrs Robinson can’t get better. Yes next song was the classic good vibrations. 

    what is funny mind you listening to needles and pins in mono, how very strange, but that how it was recorded.
  • Watching Pointless yesterday. Vicki Michelle & Linda Lusardi had me imagining all sorts of things.
  • Just got this back from the person helping rehabilitate one of my dogs and I’m not ashamed to say I got something in my eye reading it, (to explainwe’d just watched a GoPro video of him) Bear in mind he’s now been away over 10 weeks (because of the lockdown) and person who has him just wants to help him and is meeting his board and lodging let alone training from their own pocket. There are some amazing people in this world. 
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