Harry Redknapp signs three replacement knees on £60k a week contracts
Harry Redknapp was today celebrating the signing of three new knees in what he has called a ‘terrific bit of business’.
The former QPR boss has refused to leave his wheeler-dealer days behind him, and claims to be delighted with his new signings.
At a hastily arranged press conference to unveil the new knees, Redknapp told reporters, “Some people will say I’ve paid over the odds for these knees, but I genuinely believe you can never have enough good knees.”
“Sure, they’ve got a few miles on the clock, definitely, but you can’t buy that sort of experience.”
“At 83, 92 and 97 years-old, these knees have definitely got a lot to offer, and I don’t think I’ve over-paid for them at all, no.”
“There’s very little these knees haven’t seen, and I’m sure they can teach my current knee a thing or two about bending and stuff.”
“Conventional wisdom suggests two knees is all you need, but I’ve always been a bit of a maverick in the transfer market, and it’s nice to have competition for places.”
A spokesperson for the new knees said they were excited to be working with Redknapp.
They told us, “He’s a legend, obviously, and we thought our last big pay-day had been and gone, but it seems Harry is once again willing get out the cheque book and pay over the odds for things no-one else wanted.”
When told that he wouldn’t be able to use someone else’s money to pay up these new contracts, Redknapp told us. “Wait, what?”
I hear 'Arry has gone to work for McDonalds Drive Thru... Can lean out the window and talk to everyone at his heart's content and be given money each time for it
Probably not going to get a backhander from the people supplying the burgers though, or a percentage of the sale price of anything he sells.
I bet McDonalds pay their staff bonuses for recommending applicants that get a job though.
QPR fan in my office not happy. Doesn't seem to think Arry is telling the truth. (Does think they're doomed anyway and looks forward to a trip to SE7. Had to say I thought that wasn't guaranteed )
Why? Are they getting relegated to League 1 for breach of financial fair play?
I wouldn't want to get this site in trouble with potentially libellous statements, but a 'friend' of mine once said: "He's so dodgy it's unbelievable. The only thing more unbelievable is that he had the brass neck to have a hissy fit when a reporter called him a wheeler and dealer that time. The bloke could have called him a lot worse and been a lot more accurate. Liar. Chancer. Backstabber. Crook." I can't remember which friend said it and, of course, it's just 'his' opinion.
I was told a few years ago by someone who shall not be named, that the best thing to ever happen to Redknapp was Les Sealey dying. Sealey was apparently about to lift the lid on all Redknapp's antics which would in his words, unquestionably have landed Redknapp in prison! (allegedly)!
There is an anecdote in Sir Keith Peacock's book No Substitute about a footballers athletics meeting back in his and Redknapp's playing days.
Apparently Keith and Redknapp were both running in the 400 metres. Keith came round the final bend looking to overtake Redknapp who elbowed him in the face slowing Peacock sufficiently to enable him to go on and win the race.
That episode says a lot about the character (or lack thereof) of Mr Redknapp in my opinion.
Gone from not minding Redknapp to having a real dislike of him. Ain't sure why, anyone else know?
Actually the same as you on this. I was up for him as England manager just a few years ago, then came to the realisation that I can't stand him. Can't stand his twitchy face. His cliched drivel. His attention seeking and willingness to give a soundbite to any reporter who ever asked him anything about anything. Reading that book Broken Dreams didn't help. He's a bullshitting crook who's lasted longer than he should've done. Whatever he had at Spurs and before seems to have well and truly dried up. Like his face.
I can't stand his son either. "Everybody likes me, cos I'm nice guy Jamie Redknapp!" - that all falls apart when he's on A League of Their Own. Richard Ayoade freaked him out brilliantly. And there was the time he told a story about someone he didn't like, and the facade of niceness slipped. Houllier I think. He's a conceited phony!
Didn't realise how much I disliked the pair of them until now.
Gone from not minding Redknapp to having a real dislike of him. Ain't sure why, anyone else know?
Can't help you there. I have always despised the bloke, always. For a while when the press was actively promoting the idea that this crooked charlatan was in any way competent to or worthy of managing the English national team I wondered if I was somehow missing something obvious to (apparently) everyone else, but thank the deity of your choice that bubble seems to have to burst!
I dont think anyone really believed the, "my knees had it" story. It was a touch convenient and not normally a condition that couldn't wait until the close season. The (BBC) interview did make me chuckle, he didn't want to do the office work, he's not capable of it. We can all remember his court case and his lack of education, "I can't hardly write the team sheet", rosie the dog etc. England manager, my arse. One huge inflated opinion of himself.
I was told a few years ago by someone who shall not be named, that the best thing to ever happen to Redknapp was Les Sealey dying. Sealey was apparently about to lift the lid on all Redknapp's antics which would in his words, unquestionably have landed Redknapp in prison! (allegedly)!
I have never seen anything in his CV to suggest he would be capable of managing England. The fact that he runs Dowie close in the ugliness stakes is irrelevant.
Apparently they had a minute 's applause in the 57th min for his win ratio today!
Fair play to him. Sounds like they outplayed us today. Would be nice if our team made a bit of an effort but silver linings, anything not to qualify for the Europa!
Comments
Harry Redknapp signs three replacement knees on £60k a week contracts
Harry Redknapp was today celebrating the signing of three new knees in what he has called a ‘terrific bit of business’.
The former QPR boss has refused to leave his wheeler-dealer days behind him, and claims to be delighted with his new signings.
At a hastily arranged press conference to unveil the new knees, Redknapp told reporters, “Some people will say I’ve paid over the odds for these knees, but I genuinely believe you can never have enough good knees.”
“Sure, they’ve got a few miles on the clock, definitely, but you can’t buy that sort of experience.”
“At 83, 92 and 97 years-old, these knees have definitely got a lot to offer, and I don’t think I’ve over-paid for them at all, no.”
“There’s very little these knees haven’t seen, and I’m sure they can teach my current knee a thing or two about bending and stuff.”
“Conventional wisdom suggests two knees is all you need, but I’ve always been a bit of a maverick in the transfer market, and it’s nice to have competition for places.”
A spokesperson for the new knees said they were excited to be working with Redknapp.
They told us, “He’s a legend, obviously, and we thought our last big pay-day had been and gone, but it seems Harry is once again willing get out the cheque book and pay over the odds for things no-one else wanted.”
When told that he wouldn’t be able to use someone else’s money to pay up these new contracts, Redknapp told us. “Wait, what?”
“No, no, that’s not how I do business…”
bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/32236284
"He's so dodgy it's unbelievable. The only thing more unbelievable is that he had the brass neck to have a hissy fit when a reporter called him a wheeler and dealer that time. The bloke could have called him a lot worse and been a lot more accurate. Liar. Chancer. Backstabber. Crook."
I can't remember which friend said it and, of course, it's just 'his' opinion.
Which I disagree with. Obviously.
Apparently Keith and Redknapp were both running in the 400 metres. Keith came round the final bend looking to overtake Redknapp who elbowed him in the face slowing Peacock sufficiently to enable him to go on and win the race.
That episode says a lot about the character (or lack thereof) of Mr Redknapp in my opinion.
He says he has "a face like a dropped pie"
I can't stand his son either. "Everybody likes me, cos I'm nice guy Jamie Redknapp!" - that all falls apart when he's on A League of Their Own. Richard Ayoade freaked him out brilliantly. And there was the time he told a story about someone he didn't like, and the facade of niceness slipped. Houllier I think. He's a conceited phony!
Didn't realise how much I disliked the pair of them until now.
The (BBC) interview did make me chuckle, he didn't want to do the office work, he's not capable of it. We can all remember his court case and his lack of education, "I can't hardly write the team sheet", rosie the dog etc.
England manager, my arse. One huge inflated opinion of himself.
Brilliant at manipulating people though. A Jedi at that to be fair.
's applause in the 57th min for his win ratio today!
Fair play to him. Sounds like they outplayed us today. Would be nice if our team made a bit of an effort but silver linings, anything not to qualify for the Europa!