I always remember being told by my parents (dad ,I think) that you should never leave a loved one without making up as you never know whether it may be the last words they hear................
I always remember being told by my parents (dad ,I think) that you should never leave a loved one without making up as you never know whether it may be the last words they hear................
Wise words. When I was a kid, my mate's Dad was killed in a car crash. It turned out that was immediately after a row at home. I can remember his Mum saying now how she blamed herself.
Swisdom. That's not a silly question at all but it does raise a highly complicated calculation based on when the deceased had his final drink. When you drink alcohol the body absorbs it and then starts to eliminate at about half a pint of beer an hour. The present maximum for driving is roughly 2 pints (80 mg in blood) so in theory if you drank 2 pints and after that had been absorbed you thereafter drank a half every hour you would be around the maximum permitted level. (As everyone's metabolism is different I do NOT recommend trying this and personally I favour no alcohol as even a small amount affects your driving.) After death the body produces ethanol which can make estimates of the amount of drink-related alcohol pre-death very difficult. A post mortem sample taken from one part of the body can be quite different from another but a 'vitreous humour' sample (from the eye) gives the best indication of pre death levels
I can remember being at my nans and looking at twitter on my phone and seeing the news, I turned round to my brother and can remember saying Gary Speed has died, I have ever meet the guy and yet was still so devastated and I remember how shocked my brother was when I told him, I then spent the next hour trying to find out if it was real and what had happened.
I was in my local cafe the other day, where I chat to the woman who runs it. It's a posh little place, an 'artisan' cafe, if you will. She asked about my weekend, I told her about the Millwall game, she said she used to go to football a lot, back when her brother played.
I asked who he played for, she said "Everton, Leeds, Sheffield United..." - turns out my local cafe is run by Gary Speed's sister. Talking to her about this... made me realise how utterly awful all the speculation really was. Putting it into the context of someone you know... ah, it made all those guesses and the innuendo, seem utterly shameful.
Still very sad, so many things have happened in my own circle of friends since as regards mental illness you truly don't ever know what's happening inside someone else's head
Speedo would have been 49 today. Happy Birthday wherever you are.
Just a reminder, If you feel low please find someone to talk to before its to late, and if someone chooses to speak to you please don't judge, no matter how good someone's life seems on the outside it's impossible to know what demons they are dealing with inside(Gary speed is a prime example, wife,kids and manager of his countries national team)
7 years ago today we lost him, still gets to me what happened.
R.I.P Speedo
And I echo my comments above speak to someone, anyone, dont hold it in, I have done that myself and am lucky to still be alive. If someone you know is acting more quiet or withdrawn than usual then speak to them, try and get them to open up, Again I know from 1st hand experience people dont want to burden other people, but if u speak to them first and try to get them to open up it could honestly save a life
Such a shame. Worthy of the reminder that depression and mental health issues affect anyone. My best friend killed himself due to depression and it still hurts me. We were friends from 8yrs old and pretty much inseparable until we were in our early 20s. We drifted apart due to relationships and work etc but still kept in touch and i was best man at his wedding in 2009. Him and his wife moved to Bristol and had 2 lovely girls and i assumed he was happy and all ok. We met up a few yrs later and was a great weekend and he seemed on top form. I later found out that he visited a few pals over a number of weeks. A few weeks after that meeting i got the call that he had taken his life. I so wish he had talked to me that weekend as im sure whatever it was we could of sorted it. We sorted out everything somehow and some way growing up. I suppose what i want to say is that anyone reading this that is feeling depressed/suicidal thoughts, please talk. Even if its just a GP. Talk to someone please as you dont need to suffer alone and feel like that.
Yep, it possibly bores those that don't understand it to hear stuff like this and don't want to understand it, but to those suffering, there's always another option and suicide should never feel like it is an option.
Sorry to repeat this, but it's my story and I feel it is important for people suffering with mental illness to understand the potential repercussions of them taking their own lives.
On the 27th January 2002, I returned home from spending a night at a friends house. I was 13 years old, that's a year 9 at school. I couldn't get in my house as the door was double locked and the back door was also locked. I made my way in through the front bathroom window. I let my friends in the front door, as I did one made a rude joke and another one of them said "Your mum's listening on the stairs".
I turned and immediately knew something was wrong. I screamed at my friends to get help and they ran to do so. My mum had hung herself by the banister on the stairs. I tried to lift her whilst calling an ambulance, but she was too heavy. The ambulance service told me to get a knife so I ran to the kitchen and found a bread knife. I tried to cut her down and continued to scream into the phone at the person that took that call. It was me alone trying to save her with only the paramedic as a living person to help me.
As I struggled my friend's mum and a neighbour came in and managed to cut the fabric that I was struggling with in my panic. they took her down and sent me outside. As I walked out I heard one of them say "No, I can't open her mouth, it's too stiff". I collapsed in the street crying.
I cried for at least three days, I couldn't do anything else. I moved in with a friend and saw an NHS counsellor but was given one that was not suitable to my situation. A couple of weeks later I tried to take my own life in the same way. I hadn't used the right fabric as a rope and as a result I failed.
I can't tell you how low you feel when you can't even end your own life. It's indescribable. From that moment I stopped receiving counselling and moved in with my grandmother.
Since that day my life has massively improved. I spoke to my gran about how I felt, she listened. She didn't offer advice or anything. She told me she would do her best to love me as much as my mum had.
TL:DR A Mother's suicide almost led to her son's own suicide. Every so often I still visit that darker place in my mind, but have learnt to control it as much as I can.
A moments decision for you to take your life could cause a ripple effect through people's entire lives.
If things are getting too much please just talk to someone, anyone. A problem shared is after all a problem halved.
Before anyone comments anything to me. I know I am blessed with an amazing partner who I have been with since I was 16, that's 15 years in December. We have a beautiful and bright little daughter now and they keep my mind from staying in that place for long.
This is simply a call for others to talk to someone rather than risking hurting others to a point in which they feel that same gut wrenching hopelessness that you may be struggling to overcome, and that you wouldn't wish on anyone. You never know, it might just help.
Yep, it possibly bores those that don't understand it to hear stuff like this and don't want to understand it, but to those suffering, there's always another option and suicide should never feel like it is an option.
Sorry to repeat this, but it's my story and I feel it is important for people suffering with mental illness to understand the potential repercussions of them taking their own lives.
On the 27th January 2002, I returned home from spending a night at a friends house. I was 13 years old, that's a year 9 at school. I couldn't get in my house as the door was double locked and the back door was also locked. I made my way in through the front bathroom window. I let my friends in the front door, as I did one made a rude joke and another one of them said "Your mum's listening on the stairs".
I turned and immediately knew something was wrong. I screamed at my friends to get help and they ran to do so. My mum had hung herself by the banister on the stairs. I tried to lift her whilst calling an ambulance, but she was too heavy. The ambulance service told me to get a knife so I ran to the kitchen and found a bread knife. I tried to cut her down and continued to scream into the phone at the person that took that call. It was me alone trying to save her with only the paramedic as a living person to help me.
As I struggled my friend's mum and a neighbour came in and managed to cut the fabric that I was struggling with in my panic. they took her down and sent me outside. As I walked out I heard one of them say "No, I can't open her mouth, it's too stiff". I collapsed in the street crying.
I cried for at least three days, I couldn't do anything else. I moved in with a friend and saw an NHS counsellor but was given one that was not suitable to my situation. A couple of weeks later I tried to take my own life in the same way. I hadn't used the right fabric as a rope and as a result I failed.
I can't tell you how low you feel when you can't even end your own life. It's indescribable. From that moment I stopped receiving counselling and moved in with my grandmother.
Since that day my life has massively improved. I spoke to my gran about how I felt, she listened. She didn't offer advice or anything. She told me she would do her best to love me as much as my mum had.
TL:DR A Mother's suicide almost led to her son's own suicide. Every so often I still visit that darker place in my mind, but have learnt to control it as much as I can.
A moments decision for you to take your life could cause a ripple effect through people's entire lives.
If things are getting too much please just talk to someone, anyone. A problem shared is after all a problem halved.
Before anyone comments anything to me. I know I am blessed with an amazing partner who I have been with since I was 16, that's 15 years in December. We have a beautiful and bright little daughter now and they keep my mind from staying in that place for long.
This is simply a call for others to talk to someone rather than risking hurting others to a point in which they feel that same gut wrenching hopelessness that you may be struggling to overcome, and that you wouldn't wish on anyone. You never know, it might just help.
That would be tough for anyone to deal with let alone a child.
Really glad that you shared your feelings with your Gran at the time.
Comments
If he hanged himself at say midnight would his body immediately stop processing the alcohol or would it continue
Just trying to figure if he was really hammered or just mildly tipsy - as i can't for the life of me think how drunk I'd have to be to hang myself
After death the body produces ethanol which can make estimates of the amount of drink-related alcohol pre-death very difficult. A post mortem sample taken from one part of the body can be quite different from another but a 'vitreous humour' sample (from the eye) gives the best indication of pre death levels
Happy Birthday Speedo
Gone but never forgotten
One of those days you seem to remember clearly,
I can remember being at my nans and looking at twitter on my phone and seeing the news, I turned round to my brother and can remember saying Gary Speed has died, I have ever meet the guy and yet was still so devastated and I remember how shocked my brother was when I told him, I then spent the next hour trying to find out if it was real and what had happened.
I asked who he played for, she said "Everton, Leeds, Sheffield United..." - turns out my local cafe is run by Gary Speed's sister. Talking to her about this... made me realise how utterly awful all the speculation really was. Putting it into the context of someone you know... ah, it made all those guesses and the innuendo, seem utterly shameful.
RIP
Apparently his name was mentioned in the case against that vile scumbag Barry Bennell,
1 of 4 people coached by him who went on to take the own lives.
I really hope that that was not the reason we lost Gary
Happy Birthday wherever you are.
Just a reminder, If you feel low please find someone to talk to before its to late, and if someone chooses to speak to you please don't judge, no matter how good someone's life seems on the outside it's impossible to know what demons they are dealing with inside(Gary speed is a prime example, wife,kids and manager of his countries national team)
R.I.P Speedo
And I echo my comments above speak to someone, anyone, dont hold it in, I have done that myself and am lucky to still be alive.
If someone you know is acting more quiet or withdrawn than usual then speak to them, try and get them to open up, Again I know from 1st hand experience people dont want to burden other people, but if u speak to them first and try to get them to open up it could honestly save a life
Happy Birthday Gary
Worthy of the reminder that depression and mental health issues affect anyone.
My best friend killed himself due to depression and it still hurts me. We were friends from 8yrs old and pretty much inseparable until we were in our early 20s.
We drifted apart due to relationships and work etc but still kept in touch and i was best man at his wedding in 2009. Him and his wife moved to Bristol and had 2 lovely girls and i assumed he was happy and all ok. We met up a few yrs later and was a great weekend and he seemed on top form. I later found out that he visited a few pals over a number of weeks. A few weeks after that meeting i got the call that he had taken his life.
I so wish he had talked to me that weekend as im sure whatever it was we could of sorted it. We sorted out everything somehow and some way growing up.
I suppose what i want to say is that anyone reading this that is feeling depressed/suicidal thoughts, please talk. Even if its just a GP.
Talk to someone please as you dont need to suffer alone and feel like that.
Sorry to repeat this, but it's my story and I feel it is important for people suffering with mental illness to understand the potential repercussions of them taking their own lives.
On the 27th January 2002, I returned home from spending a night at a friends house. I was 13 years old, that's a year 9 at school. I couldn't get in my house as the door was double locked and the back door was also locked. I made my way in through the front bathroom window. I let my friends in the front door, as I did one made a rude joke and another one of them said "Your mum's listening on the stairs".
I turned and immediately knew something was wrong. I screamed at my friends to get help and they ran to do so. My mum had hung herself by the banister on the stairs. I tried to lift her whilst calling an ambulance, but she was too heavy. The ambulance service told me to get a knife so I ran to the kitchen and found a bread knife. I tried to cut her down and continued to scream into the phone at the person that took that call. It was me alone trying to save her with only the paramedic as a living person to help me.
As I struggled my friend's mum and a neighbour came in and managed to cut the fabric that I was struggling with in my panic. they took her down and sent me outside. As I walked out I heard one of them say "No, I can't open her mouth, it's too stiff". I collapsed in the street crying.
I cried for at least three days, I couldn't do anything else. I moved in with a friend and saw an NHS counsellor but was given one that was not suitable to my situation. A couple of weeks later I tried to take my own life in the same way. I hadn't used the right fabric as a rope and as a result I failed.
I can't tell you how low you feel when you can't even end your own life. It's indescribable. From that moment I stopped receiving counselling and moved in with my grandmother.
Since that day my life has massively improved. I spoke to my gran about how I felt, she listened. She didn't offer advice or anything. She told me she would do her best to love me as much as my mum had.
TL:DR A Mother's suicide almost led to her son's own suicide. Every so often I still visit that darker place in my mind, but have learnt to control it as much as I can.
A moments decision for you to take your life could cause a ripple effect through people's entire lives.
If things are getting too much please just talk to someone, anyone. A problem shared is after all a problem halved.
Before anyone comments anything to me. I know I am blessed with an amazing partner who I have been with since I was 16, that's 15 years in December. We have a beautiful and bright little daughter now and they keep my mind from staying in that place for long.
This is simply a call for others to talk to someone rather than risking hurting others to a point in which they feel that same gut wrenching hopelessness that you may be struggling to overcome, and that you wouldn't wish on anyone. You never know, it might just help.
All the best young man
That would be tough for anyone to deal with let alone a child.
Really glad that you shared your feelings with your Gran at the time.