'oldbloke' wins with the vasectomy story.....made me cross my legs that one !
funny to search and find this old clip.....had the snip yesterday (for the 2nd time! - first one failed, apparently GP said he'd done 6,000 over 20+ years and never had a failure...yeah thanks for that mate)
first time back last Oct, the anaesthetic wasn't properly done and I hit the ceiling when he made the 'nick' with the scalpel !.....can't describe the pain.
think he properly made sure yesterday as whilst no pain actually doing the procedure (other than the initial injection) the bruising is more today, sitting on a cushion in the kitchen currently working from home..
I had it done many years ago and as you say on the evening when I had it done I was fine, drove myself home from the clinic. However the next day was a different matter.
Many moons ago, was sprinting as fast as I could, to catch the bus. Ran past a parked car and banged my left shin into the tow bar. Never caught the bus. Didn't care. Worst pain ever. More recently, I ate a whole Carolina Reaper chilli earlier this evening. I can handle hot food, but I won't do this again. On another level. Sore mouth and now also sore tummy. Painful. Tomorrow will be no fun.
got hit by a car when i was 17 pissed out my head my shoulder had actually turned the other way and was smashed into peices - was so hammered i couldn't feel it, the next morning they had reset it into place and the nurse helping me out of bed pulled me by the arm with the injury in effect pulling my shoulder from the socket and was sort of hanging down my arm.
that or surfing in newquay years ago a board ran across the back of me with a metal fin in essence slicing my foot open in salt water! that was a killer.
Trapped nerve in my left knee. If I kneel down when my knee touches the ground it's like I have knelt on a large drawing pin! Broken ribs are also a bastard... did one skiing some years back. Had two lumber punctures whilst in San Sebastian in 1962 aged 14...meningitis scare! The pain in Spain as I call it....absolutely horrendous!
After face butting a moving van, breaking my cheek and nose, I had to get my nose re-aligned/reshaped. When they pulled the tubes out of my nose after a week the pain was ten times worse than nutting the roof rack of a Bedford rascal doing 20/30 mph
After face butting a moving van, breaking my cheek and nose, I had to get my nose re-aligned/reshaped. When they pulled the tubes out of my nose after a week the pain was ten times worse than nutting the roof rack of a Bedford rascal doing 20/30 mph
On a totally unrelated note - I had my nostrils waxed at the Turkish barbers a few weeks back. I was shitting myself in anticipated pain as the bloke held my noggin to the chair with one hand and ripped the solidified wax from my schnozz with the other.
It looked like he was holding a Tina Turner doll when he finally yanked it out....but it didn’t hurt anywhere near as much as I thought it would.
After face butting a moving van, breaking my cheek and nose, I had to get my nose re-aligned/reshaped. When they pulled the tubes out of my nose after a week the pain was ten times worse than nutting the roof rack of a Bedford rascal doing 20/30 mph
On a totally unrelated note - I had my nostrils waxed at the Turkish barbers a few weeks back. I was shitting myself in anticipated pain as the bloke held my noggin to the chair with one hand and ripped the solidified wax from my schnozz with the other.
It looked like he was holding a Tina Turner doll when he finally yanked it out....but it didn’t hurt anywhere near as much as I thought it would.
once you've had that done once it isn't half as painful the next time. I think the green was things look like how a hedgehog lollipop would look after dropping some industrial strength lsd
11 years of age and back in the day at school the nurse would check your Testicles:
When it was my turn to see the Hattie Jacques look alike, in trepidation and suffering from wax in the ear I entered the room. Unfortunately for me I thought she said OFF, and started running. !
Had my foot ran over by a fork lift,lost all the skin off the bottom of my foot and broke every bone in my foot apart from my ankle! So much pain! Many weeks in hospital,operations and many months physio and took seven months before I could put my foot flat on the floor with any weight on it and 10 months before walking unaided again.Still get problems now some 30 years later
Tearing my ACL, no doubt about it. Feeling not only the rip, but also that the other ligaments have to suddenly take a lot more weight, and the fact it swelled up like a beach ball... Yeah, not fun.
Other than that, then probably when I had two teeth pulled. That didn't hurt, as there was local anaesthetic, but the multiple injections into the roof of my mouth weren't a barrel of laughs.
Had Patella tendinitis recently and a swelling appeared above the knee that stopped the leg from bending for a couple of weeks so when you are asleep and your leg tries to bend when it can’t was agonising.
About 18 years ago, on my motorbike had a head on with a car, combined speed well over three figures, air ambulance the lot, broke both wrists, 3 ribs on one side, one the other, slide unconscious up the road for over 50 meters, lost much of the skin on my left hand, I could see the tendons moving next to my knuckles. When they got me to Queen Marys hosp, the doc asked me where it hurts, and all I could say was 'everywhere' because it did, then a passed out....That was all very sore
About 12 years playing for my saturday team, their keeper slide out I kncked the ball past him, he took out my standing leg, broke tibia just above the ankle which dislocated, at the hospital two huge fellas held me down while they aligned the leg, that hurt like hell. 2 operations, plates and pins to sort that out.
About 14 years ago, sparring at my club, I was taken down and dislocated my shoulder and broke my clavicle I think they call this an AC separation and dislocation, had it rebuilt, pinned plated, etc. Post operation, I have never ever known pain like it, even Morphine couldn't take the edge off it, if I moved my other arm the injured one hurt, I spoke to the docs about the pain at the follow up meetings and he told me that they do bash you about when they refit the shoulder....He wasn't wrong....!
About 18 years ago, on my motorbike had a head on with a car, combined speed well over three figures, air ambulance the lot, broke both wrists, 3 ribs on one side, one the other, slide unconscious up the road for over 50 meters, lost much of the skin on my left hand, I could see the tendons moving next to my knuckles. When they got me to Queen Marys hosp, the doc asked me where it hurts, and all I could say was 'everywhere' because it did, then a passed out....That was all very sore
About 12 years playing for my saturday team, their keeper slide out I kncked the ball past him, he took out my standing leg, broke tibia just above the ankle which dislocated, at the hospital two huge fellas held me down while they aligned the leg, that hurt like hell. 2 operations, plates and pins to sort that out.
About 14 years ago, sparring at my club, I was taken down and dislocated my shoulder and broke my clavicle I think they call this an AC separation and dislocation, had it rebuilt, pinned plated, etc. Post operation, I have never ever known pain like it, even Morphine couldn't take the edge off it, if I moved my other arm the injured one hurt, I spoke to the docs about the pain at the follow up meetings and he told me that they do bash you about when they refit the shoulder....He wasn't wrong....!
Im a bloody liability.
yeah there not exactly sprained feet are they
Breaking my arm ages 14 hurt a lot. Was playing rugby and I saw it coming but couldn't move as a rather large 'prop' landed on it. Was a bizarre moment when you know a lot of pain is coming but cannot do anything about it. Didn't really repair itself for around 18 months.
One of the strangest things about it is that it genuinely added around 15mph to my cricket bowling speed. Used to be a medium pacer and could suddenly bowl some cracking yorkers. Could never explain that, although a part of it could be attributed to just getting older and stronger obviously.
Have properly done my back twice in the last 3 years. First time leaning forward to pick up my trainers, second time sitting down in the pub before the Shrewsbury game.
Both times it was hell on earth. Being 5 stone lighter the second time I recovered much quicker, but the first night was absolutely hell.
First time I filled myself with so many pain killers that my stomach eventually objected. Was at Eng vs Switzerland at Wembley when 30mins before kick off the cork popped. Spent an age in a minging toilet while the world fell out of my arse (in liquid form).
I’ve broken arms, legs, fingers, attempted self surgery, (made things worse with that one), but the worse pain ever has to be an upper jaw abscess. I’ve been told , by a woman, that is the closest a man comes to experiencing what a woman experiences during child birth. Absolute rubbish the human race would have finished long ago if women went through that level of pain.
Was living in Saudi as a kid in early 80s where health and safety was non existent. They had these huge rubber rings with these weird metal valve that protruded out of the ring in an inverted L shape in the swimming pool.
One day took a running jump at full pelt, landed on the valve and split my scrotum in half. Swimming trunks and pool covered in claret and being sewn up was a painful experience.
30 plus years ago but still remember the doctor saying to me something along the lines of "Stop screaming, people outside will think you're being trampled by an elephant." Even at that tender age I recall thinking "I've split my nutsack in two you dense c***, forgive me for being a little perturbed."
Got an ice cream and comic afterwards so all in all it wasn't a complete disaster.
'oldbloke' wins with the vasectomy story.....made me cross my legs that one !
funny to search and find this old clip.....had the snip yesterday (for the 2nd time! - first one failed, apparently GP said he'd done 6,000 over 20+ years and never had a failure...yeah thanks for that mate)
first time back last Oct, the anaesthetic wasn't properly done and I hit the ceiling when he made the 'nick' with the scalpel !.....can't describe the pain.
think he properly made sure yesterday as whilst no pain actually doing the procedure (other than the initial injection) the bruising is more today, sitting on a cushion in the kitchen currently working from home..
WTF? why on earth is a GP averaging close to one vasectomy each day? some sort of weird hobby?
'oldbloke' wins with the vasectomy story.....made me cross my legs that one !
funny to search and find this old clip.....had the snip yesterday (for the 2nd time! - first one failed, apparently GP said he'd done 6,000 over 20+ years and never had a failure.
Oh yeh, right Mr "my bollocks are so big I need 2 vasectomies".
Comments
Never caught the bus. Didn't care. Worst pain ever.
More recently, I ate a whole Carolina Reaper chilli earlier this evening. I can handle hot food, but I won't do this again. On another level. Sore mouth and now also sore tummy. Painful. Tomorrow will be no fun.
that or surfing in newquay years ago a board ran across the back of me with a metal fin in essence slicing my foot open in salt water! that was a killer.
Broken ribs are also a bastard...
did one skiing some years back.
Had two lumber punctures whilst in San Sebastian in 1962 aged 14...meningitis scare!
The pain in Spain as I call it....absolutely horrendous!
1) Cracked coccyx
2) Torn intercostal rib muscle
I have no idea how I did the first one (honest guv).
The second one gave me hell for about a week but luckily it only hurt when I breathed.
It looked like he was holding a Tina Turner doll when he finally yanked it out....but it didn’t hurt anywhere near as much as I thought it would.
When it was my turn to see the Hattie Jacques look alike, in trepidation and suffering from wax in the ear I entered the room.
Unfortunately for me I thought she said OFF, and started running. !
Other than that, then probably when I had two teeth pulled. That didn't hurt, as there was local anaesthetic, but the multiple injections into the roof of my mouth weren't a barrel of laughs.
Was in absolute agony for days afterwards, best news was the fact I got Christmas off as was before Xmas Eve
Other than breaking my collarbone as a youngster (talking 5 / 6-years old) I've never really done any damage
Lent on a branch in a swamp, next I knew, bites around my neck and pain like nothing on earth.
About 18 years ago, on my motorbike had a head on with a car, combined speed well over three figures, air ambulance the lot, broke both wrists, 3 ribs on one side, one the other, slide unconscious up the road for over 50 meters, lost much of the skin on my left hand, I could see the tendons moving next to my knuckles. When they got me to Queen Marys hosp, the doc asked me where it hurts, and all I could say was 'everywhere' because it did, then a passed out....That was all very sore
About 12 years playing for my saturday team, their keeper slide out I kncked the ball past him, he took out my standing leg, broke tibia just above the ankle which dislocated, at the hospital two huge fellas held me down while they aligned the leg, that hurt like hell. 2 operations, plates and pins to sort that out.
About 14 years ago, sparring at my club, I was taken down and dislocated my shoulder and broke my clavicle I think they call this an AC separation and dislocation, had it rebuilt, pinned plated, etc. Post operation, I have never ever known pain like it, even Morphine couldn't take the edge off it, if I moved my other arm the injured one hurt, I spoke to the docs about the pain at the follow up meetings and he told me that they do bash you about when they refit the shoulder....He wasn't wrong....!
Im a bloody liability.
Breaking my arm ages 14 hurt a lot. Was playing rugby and I saw it coming but couldn't move as a rather large 'prop' landed on it. Was a bizarre moment when you know a lot of pain is coming but cannot do anything about it. Didn't really repair itself for around 18 months.
One of the strangest things about it is that it genuinely added around 15mph to my cricket bowling speed. Used to be a medium pacer and could suddenly bowl some cracking yorkers. Could never explain that, although a part of it could be attributed to just getting older and stronger obviously.
Both times it was hell on earth. Being 5 stone lighter the second time I recovered much quicker, but the first night was absolutely hell.
First time I filled myself with so many pain killers that my stomach eventually objected. Was at Eng vs Switzerland at Wembley when 30mins before kick off the cork popped. Spent an age in a minging toilet while the world fell out of my arse (in liquid form).
Has @arseintatters commented yet?
One day took a running jump at full pelt, landed on the valve and split my scrotum in half. Swimming trunks and pool covered in claret and being sewn up was a painful experience.
30 plus years ago but still remember the doctor saying to me something along the lines of "Stop screaming, people outside will think you're being trampled by an elephant." Even at that tender age I recall thinking "I've split my nutsack in two you dense c***, forgive me for being a little perturbed."
Got an ice cream and comic afterwards so all in all it wasn't a complete disaster.