I married my wife in the castle just like she wanted, u would never have guessed though by the look on the fat feckas face when we were bouncing up and down on it
would tell you the one about the bloke who got only 2hrs sleep Monday night because it was raining which means his roof was leaking, and then so far has had zero sleep Tuesday night because his babies wont sleep, and has to squeeze 11hr working days in the middle, but I won't because it is not funny and he is on the verge of going a bit dollally
would tell you the one about the bloke who got only 2hrs sleep Monday night because it was raining which means his roof was leaking, and then so far has had zero sleep Tuesday night because his babies wont sleep, and has to squeeze 11hr working days in the middle, but I won't because it is not funny and he is on the verge of going a bit dollally
Chav walks into a pub with a parrot on his shoulder.
"Yes, what can I get you?" says the barman.
"I'll have a whiskey and he'll have a pint of cider", says the parrot.
"Blimey, that's clever", says the barman, "where did you get him?"
"Chatham, there's thousands of them", says the parrot.
did you know that the origin of the word CHAV is actually a police term for 'Council House and Violent'. Not funny but just a little something i thought i'd share. I'm not a policeman and was under the impresson for a long time that the word CHAV had something to do with Chatham myself but apparently not although who knows.
By the way, i pulled a pikey bird the other night and she invited me back to hers for a good time. She wasn't kidding, i went on the waltzers, the dodgems and the ghost train and even came home with a goldfish.
As a fore-runner to chavs, I remember there used to be a website a few years back that was dedicated to Chatham Girls. I was told the the term chav is an abbreviation of Chatham Average.
Nobody really knows where Chav came from as a term. There are loads of theories but nothing concrete. Julie Burchill did a so-called documentary on it a few years ago and randomly decided that it meant working class. Stupid bitch that she is.
Well, as a kid I can recall a kid at my school used to call everyone chav, meaning mate, "alright chav?"
He was a pikey though so that may be a gypsy term. I think that it's just a coincidence of using the same word with no link between them.
Anyway, as this is a joke thread that's been hijacked...........................
Man rolls over in bed & grins at his wife. she says "not tonight dear, I've an appointment at the gynaecologist in the morning and I want to stay clean". He turns away feeling rejected. 5 mins later he rolls back over and asks "Do you have a dentists appointment?".
CHAV is still a great term because it sort of summarises a way of acting and look that is now easily summed up in one word whereas before you'd go ' you know, that skinny runt clad in sports direct gear, with a pitbull, a jazzed up shitmobile and a mouthy fat bird' - just easy now to say CHAV or CHAVY or a bit of a CHAV if ONLY ticking some of the boxes. We have other terms that come in very useful at work but this isn't the right thread i guess.
I agree. The quality of this particular discussion has become openly racist, misogynystic, angry, unfunny, and reflects probably the deep threat that some of the contributors feel they are living under.
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today,and we all could probably use more calm in our lives. Some doctor on tv this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished so I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prungles, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valiuminun scriptins, the res of the chesescke an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus I feel rite now. Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr pisss. An telum,u blody luvum.!! Xxx
Comments
1 st boy
When it thunders and lightenings my dad hides under the bed
2nd boy
Well when my mum goes to work on nights my dads so scared he sleeps with my sister
did you know that the origin of the word CHAV is actually a police term for 'Council House and Violent'. Not funny but just a little something i thought i'd share. I'm not a policeman and was under the impresson for a long time that the word CHAV had something to do with Chatham myself but apparently not although who knows.
By the way, i pulled a pikey bird the other night and she invited me back to hers for a good time. She wasn't kidding, i went on the waltzers, the dodgems and the ghost train and even came home with a goldfish.
This also could be wrong though.
I'm sure that many moons ago the word chav was used as a term for child / kid.
As in "you don't want to go sniffing round her, she's got a little chav or chavvy"
He was a pikey though so that may be a gypsy term. I think that it's just a coincidence of using the same word with no link between them.
Anyway, as this is a joke thread that's been hijacked...........................
Man rolls over in bed & grins at his wife. she says "not tonight dear, I've an appointment at the gynaecologist in the morning and I want to stay clean". He turns away feeling rejected. 5 mins later he rolls back over and asks "Do you have a dentists appointment?".
Chav
is a gypsy term it was shortned from Chavie ( i believe it meant kid at one stage)
I agree. The quality of this particular discussion has become openly racist, misogynystic, angry, unfunny, and reflects probably the deep threat that some of the contributors feel they are living under.
Out of courtesy they stop him and ask him where he is going.
"I am going to a lecture on the the dangers of alcohol, smoking and gambling" the man replies.
"Very good sir" says one policeman. "But who would give such a lecture at this time of the evening?"
"My wife......"
The government have advised people to watch out that they're not being sold fake 2012 Olympic tickets.
I think I'll be alright though. My tickets for the men's wheelchair triple jump seem genuine enough.
Oh well, better get back to it I suppose.
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I just popped in to visit my dyslexic friend.
To my horror he was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.
I said to him: "You bloody idiot! You're supposed to turn your clock back!
St Peter says to God "One of the hinges is broken on the Pearly Gates".
God says "Don't worry Peter, Jim'll fix it!"