Opening up this thread hoping to read the concluding part of Largo's odyssey and finding nothing. She has either found his phone and has killed him, or they are now so loved up, they are flicking through brochures booking up the next trip to some shopping hell hole like Dubai.
Well alright then, here you go.....
So having moved on from Playa del Carmen to some more tranquil towns to the south (well they were more tranquil until she turned up with her portable speaker and her blasphemous gangsta rap), we decided to park our hire car near the border and get the coach into Belize for a couple of days. Obviously my first thought was "maybe I can go and see Andy Hunt", but then my second thought was "imagine the shame of Andy Hunt banging on our hotel room door at 1 o'clock in the morning to complain about the loud music". Instead, we travelled down to Belize City and then got a boat out to an island called Cayo Caulker. Very nice place, had a decent time and the only point where she really annoyed me was when I said "I'm starving, let's go and get some dinner" and she apparently thought that what I actually said was "why don't you go and buy 2 fridge magnets and a tea towel and then spend 40 minutes getting a Henna tattoo done".
Friday morning arrives and we've got a long day of travelling ahead of us - 45 minutes on a boat, 3 hours or so on a coach and about 4 hours driving back up to Playa Del Carmen to get the hire car back by 7pm. I'm in reasonably high spirits - there are no souvenir shops on the boat, on the coach or in the car, and I am around 24 hours away from the blissful solitude of my journey back to Blighty. Remarkably, she's out of bed in time to get the 8am boat back to Belize City, everything's going smoothly, so much so that I managed not to get too worked up when Lil' Wayne (American rapper who I hadn't heard of until a fortnight ago but now regularly features in my nightmares) started pumping out of the stereo at 7.20, presumably waking up most people in our hotel and the one next door.
Anyway, we're back at the ferry terminal in Belize City by 9am, everything's going to plan. We've even got time for a nice breakfast next to the ferry terminal before catching getting a cab to the bus station and catching the coach back to Mexico. However, after breakfast I made an absolutely hideous error - I wandered back into the ferry terminal to buy some cigarettes. There are several shops in the ferry terminal that sell cigarettes, and they all also sell an extensive range of standard tourist tat. In summary, the following occurred:
- she spent 52 minutes choosing and then haggling over the price of 2 t-shirts and a baseball cap; - we missed the coach, the next one wasn't until 1.30pm; - we didn't get back to Playa del Carmen until about 10.45pm; - Car rental place was closed long before we got back = $70 extra to return it the next morning - she was pretty pleased that she managed to knock the shop bloke down by about £8. When I explained that I could have just given her £8 half an hour earlier and still been £60 better off she just seemed completely incapable of computing this basic equation.
We got checked into our hotel and unloaded all of our stuff (1 bag for me, 7 for her) so the car was ready to go back first thing. Somewhat poetically, our holiday finished pretty much where it started - we took a stroll over to Walmart at about half past midnight so she could get a full size suitcase to squeeze all her souvenirs into. I even volunteered to buy it for her, overcome by some sort of misplaced guilt at having spent most of the week hating her.
The next morning, I got up at 7 to drop the car off and then headed to the airport about 2 hours earlier than I needed to.
Been home since Sunday morning. Still not quite come to terms with what I've just put myself through. She sent me a nice message thanking me for a lovely holiday - I can only presume that I am the first bloke she's been away with who's managed not to completely lose his shit and have an anger meltdown at her, and that she classes "permanently teetering on the brink of losing his rag" as "warm and affectionate" compared to what she's experienced in the past.
Anyway, to those of you who've been following this sorry saga, thanks for your humorous comments and replies, which helped to keep me sane during the darkest moments. She did imply that she'd like to do something similar next year if we're both still single. On receipt of that message, I downloaded 15 online dating apps and am currently in the process of placing an ad in every lonely hearts column in London and the South East.
I take it you ripped it up her sh****r as a souvenir for yourself?
I guess a quite holiday will be on your agenda next time. You could suggest Benidorm or Magaluf to her.
Opening up this thread hoping to read the concluding part of Largo's odyssey and finding nothing. She has either found his phone and has killed him, or they are now so loved up, they are flicking through brochures booking up the next trip to some shopping hell hole like Dubai.
Well alright then, here you go.....
So having moved on from Playa del Carmen to some more tranquil towns to the south (well they were more tranquil until she turned up with her portable speaker and her blasphemous gangsta rap), we decided to park our hire car near the border and get the coach into Belize for a couple of days. Obviously my first thought was "maybe I can go and see Andy Hunt", but then my second thought was "imagine the shame of Andy Hunt banging on our hotel room door at 1 o'clock in the morning to complain about the loud music". Instead, we travelled down to Belize City and then got a boat out to an island called Cayo Caulker. Very nice place, had a decent time and the only point where she really annoyed me was when I said "I'm starving, let's go and get some dinner" and she apparently thought that what I actually said was "why don't you go and buy 2 fridge magnets and a tea towel and then spend 40 minutes getting a Henna tattoo done".
Friday morning arrives and we've got a long day of travelling ahead of us - 45 minutes on a boat, 3 hours or so on a coach and about 4 hours driving back up to Playa Del Carmen to get the hire car back by 7pm. I'm in reasonably high spirits - there are no souvenir shops on the boat, on the coach or in the car, and I am around 24 hours away from the blissful solitude of my journey back to Blighty. Remarkably, she's out of bed in time to get the 8am boat back to Belize City, everything's going smoothly, so much so that I managed not to get too worked up when Lil' Wayne (American rapper who I hadn't heard of until a fortnight ago but now regularly features in my nightmares) started pumping out of the stereo at 7.20, presumably waking up most people in our hotel and the one next door.
Anyway, we're back at the ferry terminal in Belize City by 9am, everything's going to plan. We've even got time for a nice breakfast next to the ferry terminal before catching getting a cab to the bus station and catching the coach back to Mexico. However, after breakfast I made an absolutely hideous error - I wandered back into the ferry terminal to buy some cigarettes. There are several shops in the ferry terminal that sell cigarettes, and they all also sell an extensive range of standard tourist tat. In summary, the following occurred:
- she spent 52 minutes choosing and then haggling over the price of 2 t-shirts and a baseball cap; - we missed the coach, the next one wasn't until 1.30pm; - we didn't get back to Playa del Carmen until about 10.45pm; - Car rental place was closed long before we got back = $70 extra to return it the next morning - she was pretty pleased that she managed to knock the shop bloke down by about £8. When I explained that I could have just given her £8 half an hour earlier and still been £60 better off she just seemed completely incapable of computing this basic equation.
We got checked into our hotel and unloaded all of our stuff (1 bag for me, 7 for her) so the car was ready to go back first thing. Somewhat poetically, our holiday finished pretty much where it started - we took a stroll over to Walmart at about half past midnight so she could get a full size suitcase to squeeze all her souvenirs into. I even volunteered to buy it for her, overcome by some sort of misplaced guilt at having spent most of the week hating her.
The next morning, I got up at 7 to drop the car off and then headed to the airport about 2 hours earlier than I needed to.
Been home since Sunday morning. Still not quite come to terms with what I've just put myself through. She sent me a nice message thanking me for a lovely holiday - I can only presume that I am the first bloke she's been away with who's managed not to completely lose his shit and have an anger meltdown at her, and that she classes "permanently teetering on the brink of losing his rag" as "warm and affectionate" compared to what she's experienced in the past.
Anyway, to those of you who've been following this sorry saga, thanks for your humorous comments and replies, which helped to keep me sane during the darkest moments. She did imply that she'd like to do something similar next year if we're both still single. On receipt of that message, I downloaded 15 online dating apps and am currently in the process of placing an ad in every lonely hearts column in London and the South East.
I take it you ripped it up her sh****r as a souvenir for yourself?
I guess a quite holiday will be on your agenda next time. You could suggest Benidorm or Magaluf to her.
I might well suggest she goes to Magaluf or Benidorm, but only if it clashes with when I'm gonna be somewhere at least 4,000 miles away.
Opening up this thread hoping to read the concluding part of Largo's odyssey and finding nothing. She has either found his phone and has killed him, or they are now so loved up, they are flicking through brochures booking up the next trip to some shopping hell hole like Dubai.
Well alright then, here you go.....
So having moved on from Playa del Carmen to some more tranquil towns to the south (well they were more tranquil until she turned up with her portable speaker and her blasphemous gangsta rap), we decided to park our hire car near the border and get the coach into Belize for a couple of days. Obviously my first thought was "maybe I can go and see Andy Hunt", but then my second thought was "imagine the shame of Andy Hunt banging on our hotel room door at 1 o'clock in the morning to complain about the loud music". Instead, we travelled down to Belize City and then got a boat out to an island called Cayo Caulker. Very nice place, had a decent time and the only point where she really annoyed me was when I said "I'm starving, let's go and get some dinner" and she apparently thought that what I actually said was "why don't you go and buy 2 fridge magnets and a tea towel and then spend 40 minutes getting a Henna tattoo done".
Friday morning arrives and we've got a long day of travelling ahead of us - 45 minutes on a boat, 3 hours or so on a coach and about 4 hours driving back up to Playa Del Carmen to get the hire car back by 7pm. I'm in reasonably high spirits - there are no souvenir shops on the boat, on the coach or in the car, and I am around 24 hours away from the blissful solitude of my journey back to Blighty. Remarkably, she's out of bed in time to get the 8am boat back to Belize City, everything's going smoothly, so much so that I managed not to get too worked up when Lil' Wayne (American rapper who I hadn't heard of until a fortnight ago but now regularly features in my nightmares) started pumping out of the stereo at 7.20, presumably waking up most people in our hotel and the one next door.
Anyway, we're back at the ferry terminal in Belize City by 9am, everything's going to plan. We've even got time for a nice breakfast next to the ferry terminal before catching getting a cab to the bus station and catching the coach back to Mexico. However, after breakfast I made an absolutely hideous error - I wandered back into the ferry terminal to buy some cigarettes. There are several shops in the ferry terminal that sell cigarettes, and they all also sell an extensive range of standard tourist tat. In summary, the following occurred:
- she spent 52 minutes choosing and then haggling over the price of 2 t-shirts and a baseball cap; - we missed the coach, the next one wasn't until 1.30pm; - we didn't get back to Playa del Carmen until about 10.45pm; - Car rental place was closed long before we got back = $70 extra to return it the next morning - she was pretty pleased that she managed to knock the shop bloke down by about £8. When I explained that I could have just given her £8 half an hour earlier and still been £60 better off she just seemed completely incapable of computing this basic equation.
We got checked into our hotel and unloaded all of our stuff (1 bag for me, 7 for her) so the car was ready to go back first thing. Somewhat poetically, our holiday finished pretty much where it started - we took a stroll over to Walmart at about half past midnight so she could get a full size suitcase to squeeze all her souvenirs into. I even volunteered to buy it for her, overcome by some sort of misplaced guilt at having spent most of the week hating her.
The next morning, I got up at 7 to drop the car off and then headed to the airport about 2 hours earlier than I needed to.
Been home since Sunday morning. Still not quite come to terms with what I've just put myself through. She sent me a nice message thanking me for a lovely holiday - I can only presume that I am the first bloke she's been away with who's managed not to completely lose his shit and have an anger meltdown at her, and that she classes "permanently teetering on the brink of losing his rag" as "warm and affectionate" compared to what she's experienced in the past.
Anyway, to those of you who've been following this sorry saga, thanks for your humorous comments and replies, which helped to keep me sane during the darkest moments. She did imply that she'd like to do something similar next year if we're both still single. On receipt of that message, I downloaded 15 online dating apps and am currently in the process of placing an ad in every lonely hearts column in London and the South East.
I take it you ripped it up her sh****r as a souvenir for yourself?
I don't suppose she ever mentioned what holiday tat forums or gangster rap forums she posts on? Really want to read her version of this vacation.
Haha, she didn't mate I'm afraid. Has Walmart got a message board?!
How did you meet in the first place?
On holiday last year. Only spent one evening with her though, and she didn't play any gangster rap or go shopping during the course of that evening.
I have been following your posts with absolute glee....makes my dating exploits seem a walk in the park.
I may have missed something at the beginning....is this the first time you've met up since last year ??? If so, what made you go on holiday for 2 weeks with someone you hardly know (apart from the obvious) ??
I don't suppose she ever mentioned what holiday tat forums or gangster rap forums she posts on? Really want to read her version of this vacation.
Haha, she didn't mate I'm afraid. Has Walmart got a message board?!
How did you meet in the first place?
On holiday last year. Only spent one evening with her though, and she didn't play any gangster rap or go shopping during the course of that evening.
I have been following your posts with absolute glee....makes my dating exploits seem a walk in the park.
I may have missed something at the beginning....is this the first time you've met up since last year ??? If so, what made you go on holiday for 2 weeks with someone you hardly know (apart from the obvious) ??
I don't suppose she ever mentioned what holiday tat forums or gangster rap forums she posts on? Really want to read her version of this vacation.
Haha, she didn't mate I'm afraid. Has Walmart got a message board?!
How did you meet in the first place?
On holiday last year. Only spent one evening with her though, and she didn't play any gangster rap or go shopping during the course of that evening.
I have been following your posts with absolute glee....makes my dating exploits seem a walk in the park.
I may have missed something at the beginning....is this the first time you've met up since last year ??? If so, what made you go on holiday for 2 weeks with someone you hardly know (apart from the obvious) ??
It was just "the obvious". As @idlehans suggests, Little Mr Largo made me do it! Knew it was a gamble, but appearance-wise I was punching above my level, plus I'd had a year of on/off messaging from her and she seemed really nice. She's a legal secretary, nothing in her messages to suggests anything sinister. Even in the run up to the holiday, it was all "I can't wait to spend every day on the beach" sort of stuff. Normal things.
Discussed it with my mates beforehand and they all said I should go for it but with the caveat that I should have some sort of ready-made escape plan in place in case it turned out badly. Unfortunately, I ignored the key latter piece of advice and just dived in, todger first.
Never done anything this adventurous/foolhardy before, and lessons have certainly been learned the very hard way! Believe me, I'll be asking myself wtf I was thinking for years to come.
Deciding to get Madness tickets for the o2 for my Dad for Father's Day, and in the week it took my mum to double check they were free them going up 50%.
Just googled, there are loads of tickets still on sale. Here's a site for starters.
Cheers but it wasn't that all tickets had sold out, just that the price in the exact same area is more than a week ago.
Not a big drama but still a pain paying more for exactly the same thing.
Were you trying to buy them cheap on a resale site?
No, it was that exact same site.
So you're saying the O2 increased the price of tickets overnight by 50% ? I find that almost impossible to believe. I have never known an official outlet increase their prices for an event, let alone by 50%. (I'm not disbelieving you, but there must be some sort of confusion/mix up/error).
Deciding to get Madness tickets for the o2 for my Dad for Father's Day, and in the week it took my mum to double check they were free them going up 50%.
Just googled, there are loads of tickets still on sale. Here's a site for starters.
Cheers but it wasn't that all tickets had sold out, just that the price in the exact same area is more than a week ago.
Not a big drama but still a pain paying more for exactly the same thing.
Were you trying to buy them cheap on a resale site?
No, it was that exact same site.
So you're saying the O2 increased the price of tickets overnight by 50% ? I find that almost impossible to believe. I have never known an official outlet increase their prices for an event, let alone by 50%. (I'm not disbelieving you, but there must be some sort of confusion/mix up/error).
Perhaps the cheap seats sold out, leaving only more expensive alternatives.
Deciding to get Madness tickets for the o2 for my Dad for Father's Day, and in the week it took my mum to double check they were free them going up 50%.
Just googled, there are loads of tickets still on sale. Here's a site for starters.
Cheers but it wasn't that all tickets had sold out, just that the price in the exact same area is more than a week ago.
Not a big drama but still a pain paying more for exactly the same thing.
Were you trying to buy them cheap on a resale site?
No, it was that exact same site.
So you're saying the O2 increased the price of tickets overnight by 50% ? I find that almost impossible to believe. I have never known an official outlet increase their prices for an event, let alone by 50%. (I'm not disbelieving you, but there must be some sort of confusion/mix up/error).
Not overnight but in a week. Maybe there was only a couple of rows at the lower price etc, who knows, but I've booked the same block.
Only £28 inc fees etc to £40.50 so not the end of the world, but still a bit annoying (hence it being in this thread!) to pay £25 more for two tickets than when I looked the week before.
Deciding to get Madness tickets for the o2 for my Dad for Father's Day, and in the week it took my mum to double check they were free them going up 50%.
Just googled, there are loads of tickets still on sale. Here's a site for starters.
Cheers but it wasn't that all tickets had sold out, just that the price in the exact same area is more than a week ago.
Not a big drama but still a pain paying more for exactly the same thing.
Were you trying to buy them cheap on a resale site?
No, it was that exact same site.
So you're saying the O2 increased the price of tickets overnight by 50% ? I find that almost impossible to believe. I have never known an official outlet increase their prices for an event, let alone by 50%. (I'm not disbelieving you, but there must be some sort of confusion/mix up/error).
Not overnight but in a week. Maybe there was only a couple of rows at the lower price etc, who knows, but I've booked the same block.
Only £28 inc fees etc to £40.50 so not the end of the world, but still a bit annoying (hence it being in this thread!) to pay £25 more for two tickets than when I looked the week before.
Could be that couldn't it. Gives them the opportunity to advertise prices "From £28.00..." I suppose, even if it's only a dozen seats?
A slow shopping day yesterday. Early afternoon we stopped off in a watch shop to buy one of those Casio watches that people who grew up in the 80s had as their first watch. We also considered buying a blingy fake gold monstrosity that looks like it fell out of one of those electronic crane games on Brighton pier, but I think the look of horror on my face might have given away the fact that my "it's alright" comment wasn't entirely sincere. We then took a ferry to the picturesque island of Cozumel - on arrival, we disregarded the attractive colonial buildings, bypassed the appealing seafront bars and restaurants and dealt with the far more urgent business of nipping into a souvenir shop to spend 48 minutes (yes, I was counting) picking a fake Louis Vuitton handbag and a fake Burberry rucksack.
I think I've now accepted my fate. I'm too British to do a runner, so my only chance of an early escape is if she says something excessively offensive, a racist comment for example, which would enable me to storm off in disgust and retain the crucial moral high ground. That seems unlikely though, based on the fact that, as I write this, we're sat on our balcony listening to some filthy gangster rap song which started with the line "I like to start the day with pussy for breakfast".
My coping mechanism is to maximise time spent alone. I usually wake around 8.30am, she starts stirring around half 9. When I detect her waking up, I resume the sleeping position and pretend to be asleep until around 11. My greatest triumph was this afternoon. She went to get her nails done this afternoon and I said I'd go for a drink and meet her in whatever bar I ended up in. I then followed her covertly to the nail place just so that I could make sure I was somewhere at least a 20 minute walk away when she finished. When we went to the beach later on, after an hour or so I went to buy a bottle of water and stopped on the way to the bar and just stood in a secluded corner for 3 minutes enjoying the silence.
What puzzles me most is that I've been awful company and she doesn't even seem to have noticed. The ability to feign enthusiasm for anything which doesn't involve her going somewhere and me not coming with her has long since passed. I think she must have a thing for the strong silent type, and what I lack in strength, I'm certainly making up for with silence. I think she interprets my suppressed fury as being moody and mysterious.
Anyway, there's so much more I could add. I've not even touched on the bizarre religious angle. And she's bought two bandanas since I started writing this. I'll save the details for my next cathartic rant/cry for help.
If we accept that this woman is a fabulous physical specimen she really has to be a gymnastic bedroom genius with an insatiable libido to make up for the total failure as a sentient adult. Great reading tho Mr L.
I don't suppose she ever mentioned what holiday tat forums or gangster rap forums she posts on? Really want to read her version of this vacation.
Haha, she didn't mate I'm afraid. Has Walmart got a message board?!
How did you meet in the first place?
On holiday last year. Only spent one evening with her though, and she didn't play any gangster rap or go shopping during the course of that evening.
I have been following your posts with absolute glee....makes my dating exploits seem a walk in the park.
I may have missed something at the beginning....is this the first time you've met up since last year ??? If so, what made you go on holiday for 2 weeks with someone you hardly know (apart from the obvious) ??
It was just "the obvious". As @idlehans suggests, Little Mr Largo made me do it! Knew it was a gamble, but appearance-wise I was punching above my level, plus I'd had a year of on/off messaging from her and she seemed really nice. She's a legal secretary, nothing in her messages to suggests anything sinister. Even in the run up to the holiday, it was all "I can't wait to spend every day on the beach" sort of stuff. Normal things.
Discussed it with my mates beforehand and they all said I should go for it but with the caveat that I should have some sort of ready-made escape plan in place in case it turned out badly. Unfortunately, I ignored the key latter piece of advice and just dived in, todger first.
Never done anything this adventurous/foolhardy before, and lessons have certainly been learned the very hard way! Believe me, I'll be asking myself wtf I was thinking for years to come.
From now on, it's The Millers for me.
Take away the shopping and gangsta rap and she sounds like the dream woman. Think you’re abandoning this relationship too early. Keep messaging her and one day throw into the chat whether she has a friend or friends who would be willing to entertain LML in a threesome etc the next time you visit.
Sniffing Use a hanky ffs, use your hand if necessary. Your relentless sinus soundtrack is stomach churning That stuff coming down your nose needs to come out of your body you utter moron not be repeatedly snorted back up whence it came Buy some tissues, carry a hanky and stop nauseating the rest of us
I don't suppose she ever mentioned what holiday tat forums or gangster rap forums she posts on? Really want to read her version of this vacation.
Haha, she didn't mate I'm afraid. Has Walmart got a message board?!
How did you meet in the first place?
On holiday last year. Only spent one evening with her though, and she didn't play any gangster rap or go shopping during the course of that evening.
I have been following your posts with absolute glee....makes my dating exploits seem a walk in the park.
I may have missed something at the beginning....is this the first time you've met up since last year ??? If so, what made you go on holiday for 2 weeks with someone you hardly know (apart from the obvious) ??
It was just "the obvious". As @idlehans suggests, Little Mr Largo made me do it! Knew it was a gamble, but appearance-wise I was punching above my level, plus I'd had a year of on/off messaging from her and she seemed really nice. She's a legal secretary, nothing in her messages to suggests anything sinister. Even in the run up to the holiday, it was all "I can't wait to spend every day on the beach" sort of stuff. Normal things.
Discussed it with my mates beforehand and they all said I should go for it but with the caveat that I should have some sort of ready-made escape plan in place in case it turned out badly. Unfortunately, I ignored the key latter piece of advice and just dived in, todger first.
Never done anything this adventurous/foolhardy before, and lessons have certainly been learned the very hard way! Believe me, I'll be asking myself wtf I was thinking for years to come.
From now on, it's The Millers for me.
Take away the shopping and gangsta rap and she sounds like the dream woman. Think you’re abandoning this relationship too early. Keep messaging her and one day throw into the chat whether she has a friend or friends who would be willing to entertain LML in a threesome etc the next time you visit.
I'm sure she's got numerous friends who'd be up for a threesome - Dr Dre, 50 Cent, Puff Daddy, Snoop Doggy Dogg, etc.
I'm sorry mate, I'm done with her, I can't do it anymore. I just wanna get back to my safe place as quickly as possible - falling into the arms of a slightly overweight lady who does all her shopping online and thinks that Magic 105.4 is "a bit edgy".
I don't suppose she ever mentioned what holiday tat forums or gangster rap forums she posts on? Really want to read her version of this vacation.
Haha, she didn't mate I'm afraid. Has Walmart got a message board?!
How did you meet in the first place?
On holiday last year. Only spent one evening with her though, and she didn't play any gangster rap or go shopping during the course of that evening.
I have been following your posts with absolute glee....makes my dating exploits seem a walk in the park.
I may have missed something at the beginning....is this the first time you've met up since last year ??? If so, what made you go on holiday for 2 weeks with someone you hardly know (apart from the obvious) ??
It was just "the obvious". As @idlehans suggests, Little Mr Largo made me do it! Knew it was a gamble, but appearance-wise I was punching above my level, plus I'd had a year of on/off messaging from her and she seemed really nice. She's a legal secretary, nothing in her messages to suggests anything sinister. Even in the run up to the holiday, it was all "I can't wait to spend every day on the beach" sort of stuff. Normal things.
Discussed it with my mates beforehand and they all said I should go for it but with the caveat that I should have some sort of ready-made escape plan in place in case it turned out badly. Unfortunately, I ignored the key latter piece of advice and just dived in, todger first.
Never done anything this adventurous/foolhardy before, and lessons have certainly been learned the very hard way! Believe me, I'll be asking myself wtf I was thinking for years to come.
From now on, it's The Millers for me.
Take away the shopping and gangsta rap and she sounds like the dream woman. Think you’re abandoning this relationship too early. Keep messaging her and one day throw into the chat whether she has a friend or friends who would be willing to entertain LML in a threesome etc the next time you visit.
I'm sure she's got numerous friends who'd be up for a threesome - Dr Dre, 50 Cent, Puff Daddy, Snoop Doggy Dogg, etc.
I'm sorry mate, I'm done with her, I can't do it anymore. I just wanna get back to my safe place as quickly as possible - falling into the arms of a slightly overweight lady who does all her shopping online and thinks that Magic 105.4 is "a bit edgy".
well you'll always have the memory of "Emilio goes to Walmart"
Sniffing Use a hanky ffs, use your hand if necessary. Your relentless sinus soundtrack is stomach churning That stuff coming down your nose needs to come out of your body you utter moron not be repeatedly snorted back up whence it came Buy some tissues, carry a hanky and stop nauseating the rest of us
The 'trend' of tucking in just the front of your shirt into your strides, there are a few mid twenties, early thirties who have taken to doing this at work. Firstly it looks ridiculous, secondly, why copy it. I swear if someone put a dog turd on their head and wandered down the Kings Road then these eager to fit in non thinkers would copy it.
The 'trend' of tucking in just the front of your shirt into your strides, there are a few mid twenties, early thirties who have taken to doing this at work. Firstly it looks ridiculous, secondly, why copy it. I swear if someone put a dog turd on their head and wondered down the Kings Road then these eager to fit in non thinkers would copy it.
Thankfully I’ve never witnessed this phenomenon. Wankers.
I don't suppose she ever mentioned what holiday tat forums or gangster rap forums she posts on? Really want to read her version of this vacation.
Haha, she didn't mate I'm afraid. Has Walmart got a message board?!
How did you meet in the first place?
On holiday last year. Only spent one evening with her though, and she didn't play any gangster rap or go shopping during the course of that evening.
I have been following your posts with absolute glee....makes my dating exploits seem a walk in the park.
I may have missed something at the beginning....is this the first time you've met up since last year ??? If so, what made you go on holiday for 2 weeks with someone you hardly know (apart from the obvious) ??
It was just "the obvious". As @idlehans suggests, Little Mr Largo made me do it! Knew it was a gamble, but appearance-wise I was punching above my level, plus I'd had a year of on/off messaging from her and she seemed really nice. She's a legal secretary, nothing in her messages to suggests anything sinister. Even in the run up to the holiday, it was all "I can't wait to spend every day on the beach" sort of stuff. Normal things.
Discussed it with my mates beforehand and they all said I should go for it but with the caveat that I should have some sort of ready-made escape plan in place in case it turned out badly. Unfortunately, I ignored the key latter piece of advice and just dived in, todger first.
Never done anything this adventurous/foolhardy before, and lessons have certainly been learned the very hard way! Believe me, I'll be asking myself wtf I was thinking for years to come.
From now on, it's The Millers for me.
Take away the shopping and gangsta rap and she sounds like the dream woman. Think you’re abandoning this relationship too early. Keep messaging her and one day throw into the chat whether she has a friend or friends who would be willing to entertain LML in a threesome etc the next time you visit.
I'm sure she's got numerous friends who'd be up for a threesome - Dr Dre, 50 Cent, Puff Daddy, Snoop Doggy Dogg, etc.
I'm sorry mate, I'm done with her, I can't do it anymore. I just wanna get back to my safe place as quickly as possible - falling into the arms of a slightly overweight lady who does all her shopping online and thinks that Magic 105.4 is "a bit edgy".
I don't often visit this thread so you can imagine my laughter having spent the last 20 minutes catching up with your holiday saga.
Great stuff Mr L, you certainly know how to write up an adventure.
Comments
I may have missed something at the beginning....is this the first time you've met up since last year ??? If so, what made you go on holiday for 2 weeks with someone you hardly know (apart from the obvious) ??
Discussed it with my mates beforehand and they all said I should go for it but with the caveat that I should have some sort of ready-made escape plan in place in case it turned out badly. Unfortunately, I ignored the key latter piece of advice and just dived in, todger first.
Never done anything this adventurous/foolhardy before, and lessons have certainly been learned the very hard way! Believe me, I'll be asking myself wtf I was thinking for years to come.
From now on, it's The Millers for me.
Next year, get her over here around Easter time for Peterborough followed by Walsall. See how she does shopping there
I find that almost impossible to believe.
I have never known an official outlet increase their prices for an event, let alone by 50%.
(I'm not disbelieving you, but there must be some sort of confusion/mix up/error).
Only £28 inc fees etc to £40.50 so not the end of the world, but still a bit annoying (hence it being in this thread!) to pay £25 more for two tickets than when I looked the week before.
Spoilsport
Use a hanky ffs, use your hand if necessary.
Your relentless sinus soundtrack is stomach churning
That stuff coming down your nose needs to come out of your body you utter moron not be repeatedly snorted back up whence it came
Buy some tissues, carry a hanky and stop nauseating the rest of us
I'm sorry mate, I'm done with her, I can't do it anymore. I just wanna get back to my safe place as quickly as possible - falling into the arms of a slightly overweight lady who does all her shopping online and thinks that Magic 105.4 is "a bit edgy".
Great stuff Mr L, you certainly know how to write up an adventure.