Haribo - glutinous tasteless shite passing themselves off as sweets. Jelly Tots, Liquorice Allsorts and Dolly Mixtures piss all over the ubiquitous euro shite that is Haribo...
But....the adverts are class
SporadicAddick hates it so - the flavourless world of Haribo.
Deciding to get Madness tickets for the o2 for my Dad for Father's Day, and in the week it took my mum to double check they were free them going up 50%.
Deciding to get Madness tickets for the o2 for my Dad for Father's Day, and in the week it took my mum to double check they were free them going up 50%.
Just googled, there are loads of tickets still on sale. Here's a site for starters.
My own lack of self restraint. There's a very well stocked convenience store across the road from my house, and I always pop across if I need a ton of tomatoes, coconut milk, bread, etc... Always return with said item plus a four pack or bottle of wine. Costs me a fortune.
Brand Beckham - top top player but I cringe at a lot of his publicity stuff now
Saw in the paper tonight he took his lads fly fishing or something and they got decked out fully a’la Rodney trotter in that episode of only fools and horses when he got invited to that posh bird’s house
I get that they get photo’d and followed everywhere but some of it is so contrived
Are he and the boy wonder going to turn up to the WC in Qatar in full Arab attire. I wouldn’t put it past them
Brand Beckham - top top player but I cringe at a lot of his publicity stuff now
Saw in the paper tonight he took his lads fly fishing or something and they got decked out fully a’la Rodney trotter in that episode of only fools and horses when he got invited to that posh bird’s house
I get that they get photo’d and followed everywhere but some of it is so contrived
Are he and the boy wonder going to turn up to the WC in Qatar in full Arab attire. I wouldn’t put it past them
Oi, no!
Beckham is protected of all criticism.
I don't care that you're post was factually accurate, you leave him alone.
Haribo - glutinous tasteless shite passing themselves off as sweets. Jelly Tots, Liquorice Allsorts and Dolly Mixtures piss all over the ubiquitous euro shite that is Haribo...
Don’t say things like that or I’m going to call the policeman.
Brand Beckham - top top player but I cringe at a lot of his publicity stuff now
Saw in the paper tonight he took his lads fly fishing or something and they got decked out fully a’la Rodney trotter in that episode of only fools and horses when he got invited to that posh bird’s house
I get that they get photo’d and followed everywhere but some of it is so contrived
Are he and the boy wonder going to turn up to the WC in Qatar in full Arab attire. I wouldn’t put it past them
Brand Beckham - top top player but I cringe at a lot of his publicity stuff now
Saw in the paper tonight he took his lads fly fishing or something and they got decked out fully a’la Rodney trotter in that episode of only fools and horses when he got invited to that posh bird’s house
I get that they get photo’d and followed everywhere but some of it is so contrived
Are he and the boy wonder going to turn up to the WC in Qatar in full Arab attire. I wouldn’t put it past them
Oi, no!
Beckham is protected of all criticism.
I don't care that you're post was factually accurate, you leave him alone.
Don’t get me wrong mate, I like him as an individual. Good player and good ambassador for the game, I just think it’s all a bit ott now.
Brand Beckham - top top player but I cringe at a lot of his publicity stuff now
Saw in the paper tonight he took his lads fly fishing or something and they got decked out fully a’la Rodney trotter in that episode of only fools and horses when he got invited to that posh bird’s house
I get that they get photo’d and followed everywhere but some of it is so contrived
Are he and the boy wonder going to turn up to the WC in Qatar in full Arab attire. I wouldn’t put it past them
Oi, no!
Beckham is protected of all criticism.
I don't care that you're post was factually accurate, you leave him alone.
Don’t get me wrong mate, I like him as an individual. Good player and good ambassador for the game, I just think it’s all a bit ott now.
Deciding to get Madness tickets for the o2 for my Dad for Father's Day, and in the week it took my mum to double check they were free them going up 50%.
Just googled, there are loads of tickets still on sale. Here's a site for starters.
Deciding to get Madness tickets for the o2 for my Dad for Father's Day, and in the week it took my mum to double check they were free them going up 50%.
Just googled, there are loads of tickets still on sale. Here's a site for starters.
Opening up this thread hoping to read the concluding part of Largo's odyssey and finding nothing. She has either found his phone and has killed him, or they are now so loved up, they are flicking through brochures booking up the next trip to some shopping hell hole like Dubai.
The amount of milk they give you in hotel rooms. I’m currently staying in a hotel room which has its own sky box with all channels and a nespresso machine yet still only the regulation four pissy little cartons of milk.
Opening up this thread hoping to read the concluding part of Largo's odyssey and finding nothing. She has either found his phone and has killed him, or they are now so loved up, they are flicking through brochures booking up the next trip to some shopping hell hole like Dubai.
Well alright then, here you go.....
So having moved on from Playa del Carmen to some more tranquil towns to the south (well they were more tranquil until she turned up with her portable speaker and her blasphemous gangsta rap), we decided to park our hire car near the border and get the coach into Belize for a couple of days. Obviously my first thought was "maybe I can go and see Andy Hunt", but then my second thought was "imagine the shame of Andy Hunt banging on our hotel room door at 1 o'clock in the morning to complain about the loud music". Instead, we travelled down to Belize City and then got a boat out to an island called Cayo Caulker. Very nice place, had a decent time and the only point where she really annoyed me was when I said "I'm starving, let's go and get some dinner" and she apparently thought that what I actually said was "why don't you go and buy 2 fridge magnets and a tea towel and then spend 40 minutes getting a Henna tattoo done".
Friday morning arrives and we've got a long day of travelling ahead of us - 45 minutes on a boat, 3 hours or so on a coach and about 4 hours driving back up to Playa Del Carmen to get the hire car back by 7pm. I'm in reasonably high spirits - there are no souvenir shops on the boat, on the coach or in the car, and I am around 24 hours away from the blissful solitude of my journey back to Blighty. Remarkably, she's out of bed in time to get the 8am boat back to Belize City, everything's going smoothly, so much so that I managed not to get too worked up when Lil' Wayne (American rapper who I hadn't heard of until a fortnight ago but now regularly features in my nightmares) started pumping out of the stereo at 7.20, presumably waking up most people in our hotel and the one next door.
Anyway, we're back at the ferry terminal in Belize City by 9am, everything's going to plan. We've even got time for a nice breakfast next to the ferry terminal before catching getting a cab to the bus station and catching the coach back to Mexico. However, after breakfast I made an absolutely hideous error - I wandered back into the ferry terminal to buy some cigarettes. There are several shops in the ferry terminal that sell cigarettes, and they all also sell an extensive range of standard tourist tat. In summary, the following occurred:
- she spent 52 minutes choosing and then haggling over the price of 2 t-shirts and a baseball cap; - we missed the coach, the next one wasn't until 1.30pm; - we didn't get back to Playa del Carmen until about 10.45pm; - Car rental place was closed long before we got back = $70 extra to return it the next morning - she was pretty pleased that she managed to knock the shop bloke down by about £8. When I explained that I could have just given her £8 half an hour earlier and still been £60 better off she just seemed completely incapable of computing this basic equation.
We got checked into our hotel and unloaded all of our stuff (1 bag for me, 7 for her) so the car was ready to go back first thing. Somewhat poetically, our holiday finished pretty much where it started - we took a stroll over to Walmart at about half past midnight so she could get a full size suitcase to squeeze all her souvenirs into. I even volunteered to buy it for her, overcome by some sort of misplaced guilt at having spent most of the week hating her.
The next morning, I got up at 7 to drop the car off and then headed to the airport about 2 hours earlier than I needed to.
Been home since Sunday morning. Still not quite come to terms with what I've just put myself through. She sent me a nice message thanking me for a lovely holiday - I can only presume that I am the first bloke she's been away with who's managed not to completely lose his shit and have an anger meltdown at her, and that she classes "permanently teetering on the brink of losing his rag" as "warm and affectionate" compared to what she's experienced in the past.
Anyway, to those of you who've been following this sorry saga, thanks for your humorous comments and replies, which helped to keep me sane during the darkest moments. She did imply that she'd like to do something similar next year if we're both still single. On receipt of that message, I downloaded 15 online dating apps and am currently in the process of placing an ad in every lonely hearts column in London and the South East.
Opening up this thread hoping to read the concluding part of Largo's odyssey and finding nothing. She has either found his phone and has killed him, or they are now so loved up, they are flicking through brochures booking up the next trip to some shopping hell hole like Dubai.
Well alright then, here you go.....
So having moved on from Playa del Carmen to some more tranquil towns to the south (well they were more tranquil until she turned up with her portable speaker and her blasphemous gangsta rap), we decided to park our hire car near the border and get the coach into Belize for a couple of days. Obviously my first thought was "maybe I can go and see Andy Hunt", but then my second thought was "imagine the shame of Andy Hunt banging on our hotel room door at 1 o'clock in the morning to complain about the loud music". Instead, we travelled down to Belize City and then got a boat out to an island called Cayo Caulker. Very nice place, had a decent time and the only point where she really annoyed me was when I said "I'm starving, let's go and get some dinner" and she apparently thought that what I actually said was "why don't you go and buy 2 fridge magnets and a tea towel and then spend 40 minutes getting a Henna tattoo done".
Friday morning arrives and we've got a long day of travelling ahead of us - 45 minutes on a boat, 3 hours or so on a coach and about 4 hours driving back up to Playa Del Carmen to get the hire car back by 7pm. I'm in reasonably high spirits - there are no souvenir shops on the boat, on the coach or in the car, and I am around 24 hours away from the blissful solitude of my journey back to Blighty. Remarkably, she's out of bed in time to get the 8am boat back to Belize City, everything's going smoothly, so much so that I managed not to get too worked up when Lil' Wayne (American rapper who I hadn't heard of until a fortnight ago but now regularly features in my nightmares) started pumping out of the stereo at 7.20, presumably waking up most people in our hotel and the one next door.
Anyway, we're back at the ferry terminal in Belize City by 9am, everything's going to plan. We've even got time for a nice breakfast next to the ferry terminal before catching getting a cab to the bus station and catching the coach back to Mexico. However, after breakfast I made an absolutely hideous error - I wandered back into the ferry terminal to buy some cigarettes. There are several shops in the ferry terminal that sell cigarettes, and they all also sell an extensive range of standard tourist tat. In summary, the following occurred:
- she spent 52 minutes choosing and then haggling over the price of 2 t-shirts and a baseball cap; - we missed the coach, the next one wasn't until 1.30pm; - we didn't get back to Playa del Carmen until about 10.45pm; - Car rental place was closed long before we got back = $70 extra to return it the next morning - she was pretty pleased that she managed to knock the shop bloke down by about £8. When I explained that I could have just given her £8 half an hour earlier and still been £60 better off she just seemed completely incapable of computing this basic equation.
We got checked into our hotel and unloaded all of our stuff (1 bag for me, 7 for her) so the car was ready to go back first thing. Somewhat poetically, our holiday finished pretty much where it started - we took a stroll over to Walmart at about half past midnight so she could get a full size suitcase to squeeze all her souvenirs into. I even volunteered to buy it for her, overcome by some sort of misplaced guilt at having spent most of the week hating her.
The next morning, I got up at 7 to drop the car off and then headed to the airport about 2 hours earlier than I needed to.
Been home since Sunday morning. Still not quite come to terms with what I've just put myself through. She sent me a nice message thanking me for a lovely holiday - I can only presume that I am the first bloke she's been away with who's managed not to completely lose his shit and have an anger meltdown at her, and that she classes "permanently teetering on the brink of losing his rag" as "warm and affectionate" compared to what she's experienced in the past.
Anyway, to those of you who've been following this sorry saga, thanks for your humorous comments and replies, which helped to keep me sane during the darkest moments. She did imply that she'd like to do something similar next year if we're both still single. On receipt of that message, I downloaded 15 online dating apps and am currently in the process of placing an ad in every lonely hearts column in London and the South East.
I take it you ripped it up her sh****r as a souvenir for yourself?
Opening up this thread hoping to read the concluding part of Largo's odyssey and finding nothing. She has either found his phone and has killed him, or they are now so loved up, they are flicking through brochures booking up the next trip to some shopping hell hole like Dubai.
Well alright then, here you go.....
So having moved on from Playa del Carmen to some more tranquil towns to the south (well they were more tranquil until she turned up with her portable speaker and her blasphemous gangsta rap), we decided to park our hire car near the border and get the coach into Belize for a couple of days. Obviously my first thought was "maybe I can go and see Andy Hunt", but then my second thought was "imagine the shame of Andy Hunt banging on our hotel room door at 1 o'clock in the morning to complain about the loud music". Instead, we travelled down to Belize City and then got a boat out to an island called Cayo Caulker. Very nice place, had a decent time and the only point where she really annoyed me was when I said "I'm starving, let's go and get some dinner" and she apparently thought that what I actually said was "why don't you go and buy 2 fridge magnets and a tea towel and then spend 40 minutes getting a Henna tattoo done".
Friday morning arrives and we've got a long day of travelling ahead of us - 45 minutes on a boat, 3 hours or so on a coach and about 4 hours driving back up to Playa Del Carmen to get the hire car back by 7pm. I'm in reasonably high spirits - there are no souvenir shops on the boat, on the coach or in the car, and I am around 24 hours away from the blissful solitude of my journey back to Blighty. Remarkably, she's out of bed in time to get the 8am boat back to Belize City, everything's going smoothly, so much so that I managed not to get too worked up when Lil' Wayne (American rapper who I hadn't heard of until a fortnight ago but now regularly features in my nightmares) started pumping out of the stereo at 7.20, presumably waking up most people in our hotel and the one next door.
Anyway, we're back at the ferry terminal in Belize City by 9am, everything's going to plan. We've even got time for a nice breakfast next to the ferry terminal before catching getting a cab to the bus station and catching the coach back to Mexico. However, after breakfast I made an absolutely hideous error - I wandered back into the ferry terminal to buy some cigarettes. There are several shops in the ferry terminal that sell cigarettes, and they all also sell an extensive range of standard tourist tat. In summary, the following occurred:
- she spent 52 minutes choosing and then haggling over the price of 2 t-shirts and a baseball cap; - we missed the coach, the next one wasn't until 1.30pm; - we didn't get back to Playa del Carmen until about 10.45pm; - Car rental place was closed long before we got back = $70 extra to return it the next morning - she was pretty pleased that she managed to knock the shop bloke down by about £8. When I explained that I could have just given her £8 half an hour earlier and still been £60 better off she just seemed completely incapable of computing this basic equation.
We got checked into our hotel and unloaded all of our stuff (1 bag for me, 7 for her) so the car was ready to go back first thing. Somewhat poetically, our holiday finished pretty much where it started - we took a stroll over to Walmart at about half past midnight so she could get a full size suitcase to squeeze all her souvenirs into. I even volunteered to buy it for her, overcome by some sort of misplaced guilt at having spent most of the week hating her.
The next morning, I got up at 7 to drop the car off and then headed to the airport about 2 hours earlier than I needed to.
Been home since Sunday morning. Still not quite come to terms with what I've just put myself through. She sent me a nice message thanking me for a lovely holiday - I can only presume that I am the first bloke she's been away with who's managed not to completely lose his shit and have an anger meltdown at her, and that she classes "permanently teetering on the brink of losing his rag" as "warm and affectionate" compared to what she's experienced in the past.
Anyway, to those of you who've been following this sorry saga, thanks for your humorous comments and replies, which helped to keep me sane during the darkest moments. She did imply that she'd like to do something similar next year if we're both still single. On receipt of that message, I downloaded 15 online dating apps and am currently in the process of placing an ad in every lonely hearts column in London and the South East.
I take it you ripped it up her sh****r as a souvenir for yourself?
Deciding to get Madness tickets for the o2 for my Dad for Father's Day, and in the week it took my mum to double check they were free them going up 50%.
Just googled, there are loads of tickets still on sale. Here's a site for starters.
Opening up this thread hoping to read the concluding part of Largo's odyssey and finding nothing. She has either found his phone and has killed him, or they are now so loved up, they are flicking through brochures booking up the next trip to some shopping hell hole like Dubai.
Well alright then, here you go.....
So having moved on from Playa del Carmen to some more tranquil towns to the south (well they were more tranquil until she turned up with her portable speaker and her blasphemous gangsta rap), we decided to park our hire car near the border and get the coach into Belize for a couple of days. Obviously my first thought was "maybe I can go and see Andy Hunt", but then my second thought was "imagine the shame of Andy Hunt banging on our hotel room door at 1 o'clock in the morning to complain about the loud music". Instead, we travelled down to Belize City and then got a boat out to an island called Cayo Caulker. Very nice place, had a decent time and the only point where she really annoyed me was when I said "I'm starving, let's go and get some dinner" and she apparently thought that what I actually said was "why don't you go and buy 2 fridge magnets and a tea towel and then spend 40 minutes getting a Henna tattoo done".
Friday morning arrives and we've got a long day of travelling ahead of us - 45 minutes on a boat, 3 hours or so on a coach and about 4 hours driving back up to Playa Del Carmen to get the hire car back by 7pm. I'm in reasonably high spirits - there are no souvenir shops on the boat, on the coach or in the car, and I am around 24 hours away from the blissful solitude of my journey back to Blighty. Remarkably, she's out of bed in time to get the 8am boat back to Belize City, everything's going smoothly, so much so that I managed not to get too worked up when Lil' Wayne (American rapper who I hadn't heard of until a fortnight ago but now regularly features in my nightmares) started pumping out of the stereo at 7.20, presumably waking up most people in our hotel and the one next door.
Anyway, we're back at the ferry terminal in Belize City by 9am, everything's going to plan. We've even got time for a nice breakfast next to the ferry terminal before catching getting a cab to the bus station and catching the coach back to Mexico. However, after breakfast I made an absolutely hideous error - I wandered back into the ferry terminal to buy some cigarettes. There are several shops in the ferry terminal that sell cigarettes, and they all also sell an extensive range of standard tourist tat. In summary, the following occurred:
- she spent 52 minutes choosing and then haggling over the price of 2 t-shirts and a baseball cap; - we missed the coach, the next one wasn't until 1.30pm; - we didn't get back to Playa del Carmen until about 10.45pm; - Car rental place was closed long before we got back = $70 extra to return it the next morning - she was pretty pleased that she managed to knock the shop bloke down by about £8. When I explained that I could have just given her £8 half an hour earlier and still been £60 better off she just seemed completely incapable of computing this basic equation.
We got checked into our hotel and unloaded all of our stuff (1 bag for me, 7 for her) so the car was ready to go back first thing. Somewhat poetically, our holiday finished pretty much where it started - we took a stroll over to Walmart at about half past midnight so she could get a full size suitcase to squeeze all her souvenirs into. I even volunteered to buy it for her, overcome by some sort of misplaced guilt at having spent most of the week hating her.
The next morning, I got up at 7 to drop the car off and then headed to the airport about 2 hours earlier than I needed to.
Been home since Sunday morning. Still not quite come to terms with what I've just put myself through. She sent me a nice message thanking me for a lovely holiday - I can only presume that I am the first bloke she's been away with who's managed not to completely lose his shit and have an anger meltdown at her, and that she classes "permanently teetering on the brink of losing his rag" as "warm and affectionate" compared to what she's experienced in the past.
Anyway, to those of you who've been following this sorry saga, thanks for your humorous comments and replies, which helped to keep me sane during the darkest moments. She did imply that she'd like to do something similar next year if we're both still single. On receipt of that message, I downloaded 15 online dating apps and am currently in the process of placing an ad in every lonely hearts column in London and the South East.
I take it you ripped it up her sh****r as a souvenir for yourself?
Opening up this thread hoping to read the concluding part of Largo's odyssey and finding nothing. She has either found his phone and has killed him, or they are now so loved up, they are flicking through brochures booking up the next trip to some shopping hell hole like Dubai.
Well alright then, here you go.....
So having moved on from Playa del Carmen to some more tranquil towns to the south (well they were more tranquil until she turned up with her portable speaker and her blasphemous gangsta rap), we decided to park our hire car near the border and get the coach into Belize for a couple of days. Obviously my first thought was "maybe I can go and see Andy Hunt", but then my second thought was "imagine the shame of Andy Hunt banging on our hotel room door at 1 o'clock in the morning to complain about the loud music". Instead, we travelled down to Belize City and then got a boat out to an island called Cayo Caulker. Very nice place, had a decent time and the only point where she really annoyed me was when I said "I'm starving, let's go and get some dinner" and she apparently thought that what I actually said was "why don't you go and buy 2 fridge magnets and a tea towel and then spend 40 minutes getting a Henna tattoo done".
Friday morning arrives and we've got a long day of travelling ahead of us - 45 minutes on a boat, 3 hours or so on a coach and about 4 hours driving back up to Playa Del Carmen to get the hire car back by 7pm. I'm in reasonably high spirits - there are no souvenir shops on the boat, on the coach or in the car, and I am around 24 hours away from the blissful solitude of my journey back to Blighty. Remarkably, she's out of bed in time to get the 8am boat back to Belize City, everything's going smoothly, so much so that I managed not to get too worked up when Lil' Wayne (American rapper who I hadn't heard of until a fortnight ago but now regularly features in my nightmares) started pumping out of the stereo at 7.20, presumably waking up most people in our hotel and the one next door.
Anyway, we're back at the ferry terminal in Belize City by 9am, everything's going to plan. We've even got time for a nice breakfast next to the ferry terminal before catching getting a cab to the bus station and catching the coach back to Mexico. However, after breakfast I made an absolutely hideous error - I wandered back into the ferry terminal to buy some cigarettes. There are several shops in the ferry terminal that sell cigarettes, and they all also sell an extensive range of standard tourist tat. In summary, the following occurred:
- she spent 52 minutes choosing and then haggling over the price of 2 t-shirts and a baseball cap; - we missed the coach, the next one wasn't until 1.30pm; - we didn't get back to Playa del Carmen until about 10.45pm; - Car rental place was closed long before we got back = $70 extra to return it the next morning - she was pretty pleased that she managed to knock the shop bloke down by about £8. When I explained that I could have just given her £8 half an hour earlier and still been £60 better off she just seemed completely incapable of computing this basic equation.
We got checked into our hotel and unloaded all of our stuff (1 bag for me, 7 for her) so the car was ready to go back first thing. Somewhat poetically, our holiday finished pretty much where it started - we took a stroll over to Walmart at about half past midnight so she could get a full size suitcase to squeeze all her souvenirs into. I even volunteered to buy it for her, overcome by some sort of misplaced guilt at having spent most of the week hating her.
The next morning, I got up at 7 to drop the car off and then headed to the airport about 2 hours earlier than I needed to.
Been home since Sunday morning. Still not quite come to terms with what I've just put myself through. She sent me a nice message thanking me for a lovely holiday - I can only presume that I am the first bloke she's been away with who's managed not to completely lose his shit and have an anger meltdown at her, and that she classes "permanently teetering on the brink of losing his rag" as "warm and affectionate" compared to what she's experienced in the past.
Anyway, to those of you who've been following this sorry saga, thanks for your humorous comments and replies, which helped to keep me sane during the darkest moments. She did imply that she'd like to do something similar next year if we're both still single. On receipt of that message, I downloaded 15 online dating apps and am currently in the process of placing an ad in every lonely hearts column in London and the South East.
I take it you ripped it up her sh****r as a souvenir for yourself?
I guess a quite holiday will be on your agenda next time. You could suggest Benidorm or Magaluf to her.
Opening up this thread hoping to read the concluding part of Largo's odyssey and finding nothing. She has either found his phone and has killed him, or they are now so loved up, they are flicking through brochures booking up the next trip to some shopping hell hole like Dubai.
Well alright then, here you go.....
So having moved on from Playa del Carmen to some more tranquil towns to the south (well they were more tranquil until she turned up with her portable speaker and her blasphemous gangsta rap), we decided to park our hire car near the border and get the coach into Belize for a couple of days. Obviously my first thought was "maybe I can go and see Andy Hunt", but then my second thought was "imagine the shame of Andy Hunt banging on our hotel room door at 1 o'clock in the morning to complain about the loud music". Instead, we travelled down to Belize City and then got a boat out to an island called Cayo Caulker. Very nice place, had a decent time and the only point where she really annoyed me was when I said "I'm starving, let's go and get some dinner" and she apparently thought that what I actually said was "why don't you go and buy 2 fridge magnets and a tea towel and then spend 40 minutes getting a Henna tattoo done".
Friday morning arrives and we've got a long day of travelling ahead of us - 45 minutes on a boat, 3 hours or so on a coach and about 4 hours driving back up to Playa Del Carmen to get the hire car back by 7pm. I'm in reasonably high spirits - there are no souvenir shops on the boat, on the coach or in the car, and I am around 24 hours away from the blissful solitude of my journey back to Blighty. Remarkably, she's out of bed in time to get the 8am boat back to Belize City, everything's going smoothly, so much so that I managed not to get too worked up when Lil' Wayne (American rapper who I hadn't heard of until a fortnight ago but now regularly features in my nightmares) started pumping out of the stereo at 7.20, presumably waking up most people in our hotel and the one next door.
Anyway, we're back at the ferry terminal in Belize City by 9am, everything's going to plan. We've even got time for a nice breakfast next to the ferry terminal before catching getting a cab to the bus station and catching the coach back to Mexico. However, after breakfast I made an absolutely hideous error - I wandered back into the ferry terminal to buy some cigarettes. There are several shops in the ferry terminal that sell cigarettes, and they all also sell an extensive range of standard tourist tat. In summary, the following occurred:
- she spent 52 minutes choosing and then haggling over the price of 2 t-shirts and a baseball cap; - we missed the coach, the next one wasn't until 1.30pm; - we didn't get back to Playa del Carmen until about 10.45pm; - Car rental place was closed long before we got back = $70 extra to return it the next morning - she was pretty pleased that she managed to knock the shop bloke down by about £8. When I explained that I could have just given her £8 half an hour earlier and still been £60 better off she just seemed completely incapable of computing this basic equation.
We got checked into our hotel and unloaded all of our stuff (1 bag for me, 7 for her) so the car was ready to go back first thing. Somewhat poetically, our holiday finished pretty much where it started - we took a stroll over to Walmart at about half past midnight so she could get a full size suitcase to squeeze all her souvenirs into. I even volunteered to buy it for her, overcome by some sort of misplaced guilt at having spent most of the week hating her.
The next morning, I got up at 7 to drop the car off and then headed to the airport about 2 hours earlier than I needed to.
Been home since Sunday morning. Still not quite come to terms with what I've just put myself through. She sent me a nice message thanking me for a lovely holiday - I can only presume that I am the first bloke she's been away with who's managed not to completely lose his shit and have an anger meltdown at her, and that she classes "permanently teetering on the brink of losing his rag" as "warm and affectionate" compared to what she's experienced in the past.
Anyway, to those of you who've been following this sorry saga, thanks for your humorous comments and replies, which helped to keep me sane during the darkest moments. She did imply that she'd like to do something similar next year if we're both still single. On receipt of that message, I downloaded 15 online dating apps and am currently in the process of placing an ad in every lonely hearts column in London and the South East.
I take it you ripped it up her sh****r as a souvenir for yourself?
I guess a quite holiday will be on your agenda next time. You could suggest Benidorm or Magaluf to her.
I might well suggest she goes to Magaluf or Benidorm, but only if it clashes with when I'm gonna be somewhere at least 4,000 miles away.
Opening up this thread hoping to read the concluding part of Largo's odyssey and finding nothing. She has either found his phone and has killed him, or they are now so loved up, they are flicking through brochures booking up the next trip to some shopping hell hole like Dubai.
Well alright then, here you go.....
So having moved on from Playa del Carmen to some more tranquil towns to the south (well they were more tranquil until she turned up with her portable speaker and her blasphemous gangsta rap), we decided to park our hire car near the border and get the coach into Belize for a couple of days. Obviously my first thought was "maybe I can go and see Andy Hunt", but then my second thought was "imagine the shame of Andy Hunt banging on our hotel room door at 1 o'clock in the morning to complain about the loud music". Instead, we travelled down to Belize City and then got a boat out to an island called Cayo Caulker. Very nice place, had a decent time and the only point where she really annoyed me was when I said "I'm starving, let's go and get some dinner" and she apparently thought that what I actually said was "why don't you go and buy 2 fridge magnets and a tea towel and then spend 40 minutes getting a Henna tattoo done".
Friday morning arrives and we've got a long day of travelling ahead of us - 45 minutes on a boat, 3 hours or so on a coach and about 4 hours driving back up to Playa Del Carmen to get the hire car back by 7pm. I'm in reasonably high spirits - there are no souvenir shops on the boat, on the coach or in the car, and I am around 24 hours away from the blissful solitude of my journey back to Blighty. Remarkably, she's out of bed in time to get the 8am boat back to Belize City, everything's going smoothly, so much so that I managed not to get too worked up when Lil' Wayne (American rapper who I hadn't heard of until a fortnight ago but now regularly features in my nightmares) started pumping out of the stereo at 7.20, presumably waking up most people in our hotel and the one next door.
Anyway, we're back at the ferry terminal in Belize City by 9am, everything's going to plan. We've even got time for a nice breakfast next to the ferry terminal before catching getting a cab to the bus station and catching the coach back to Mexico. However, after breakfast I made an absolutely hideous error - I wandered back into the ferry terminal to buy some cigarettes. There are several shops in the ferry terminal that sell cigarettes, and they all also sell an extensive range of standard tourist tat. In summary, the following occurred:
- she spent 52 minutes choosing and then haggling over the price of 2 t-shirts and a baseball cap; - we missed the coach, the next one wasn't until 1.30pm; - we didn't get back to Playa del Carmen until about 10.45pm; - Car rental place was closed long before we got back = $70 extra to return it the next morning - she was pretty pleased that she managed to knock the shop bloke down by about £8. When I explained that I could have just given her £8 half an hour earlier and still been £60 better off she just seemed completely incapable of computing this basic equation.
We got checked into our hotel and unloaded all of our stuff (1 bag for me, 7 for her) so the car was ready to go back first thing. Somewhat poetically, our holiday finished pretty much where it started - we took a stroll over to Walmart at about half past midnight so she could get a full size suitcase to squeeze all her souvenirs into. I even volunteered to buy it for her, overcome by some sort of misplaced guilt at having spent most of the week hating her.
The next morning, I got up at 7 to drop the car off and then headed to the airport about 2 hours earlier than I needed to.
Been home since Sunday morning. Still not quite come to terms with what I've just put myself through. She sent me a nice message thanking me for a lovely holiday - I can only presume that I am the first bloke she's been away with who's managed not to completely lose his shit and have an anger meltdown at her, and that she classes "permanently teetering on the brink of losing his rag" as "warm and affectionate" compared to what she's experienced in the past.
Anyway, to those of you who've been following this sorry saga, thanks for your humorous comments and replies, which helped to keep me sane during the darkest moments. She did imply that she'd like to do something similar next year if we're both still single. On receipt of that message, I downloaded 15 online dating apps and am currently in the process of placing an ad in every lonely hearts column in London and the South East.
I take it you ripped it up her sh****r as a souvenir for yourself?
Comments
(Tangfastics are lovely though)
https://www.theo2.co.uk/events/detail/madness-the-sound-of-madness
Saw in the paper tonight he took his lads fly fishing or something and they got decked out fully a’la Rodney trotter in that episode of only fools and horses when he got invited to that posh bird’s house
I get that they get photo’d and followed everywhere but some of it is so contrived
Are he and the boy wonder going to turn up to the WC in Qatar in full Arab attire. I wouldn’t put it past them
Beckham is protected of all criticism.
I don't care that you're post was factually accurate, you leave him alone.
Bang out of order.
No blue passport for you!
Not a big drama but still a pain paying more for exactly the same thing.
She has either found his phone and has killed him, or they are now so loved up, they are flicking through brochures booking up the next trip to some shopping hell hole like Dubai.
So having moved on from Playa del Carmen to some more tranquil towns to the south (well they were more tranquil until she turned up with her portable speaker and her blasphemous gangsta rap), we decided to park our hire car near the border and get the coach into Belize for a couple of days. Obviously my first thought was "maybe I can go and see Andy Hunt", but then my second thought was "imagine the shame of Andy Hunt banging on our hotel room door at 1 o'clock in the morning to complain about the loud music". Instead, we travelled down to Belize City and then got a boat out to an island called Cayo Caulker. Very nice place, had a decent time and the only point where she really annoyed me was when I said "I'm starving, let's go and get some dinner" and she apparently thought that what I actually said was "why don't you go and buy 2 fridge magnets and a tea towel and then spend 40 minutes getting a Henna tattoo done".
Friday morning arrives and we've got a long day of travelling ahead of us - 45 minutes on a boat, 3 hours or so on a coach and about 4 hours driving back up to Playa Del Carmen to get the hire car back by 7pm. I'm in reasonably high spirits - there are no souvenir shops on the boat, on the coach or in the car, and I am around 24 hours away from the blissful solitude of my journey back to Blighty. Remarkably, she's out of bed in time to get the 8am boat back to Belize City, everything's going smoothly, so much so that I managed not to get too worked up when Lil' Wayne (American rapper who I hadn't heard of until a fortnight ago but now regularly features in my nightmares) started pumping out of the stereo at 7.20, presumably waking up most people in our hotel and the one next door.
Anyway, we're back at the ferry terminal in Belize City by 9am, everything's going to plan. We've even got time for a nice breakfast next to the ferry terminal before catching getting a cab to the bus station and catching the coach back to Mexico. However, after breakfast I made an absolutely hideous error - I wandered back into the ferry terminal to buy some cigarettes. There are several shops in the ferry terminal that sell cigarettes, and they all also sell an extensive range of standard tourist tat. In summary, the following occurred:
- she spent 52 minutes choosing and then haggling over the price of 2 t-shirts and a baseball cap;
- we missed the coach, the next one wasn't until 1.30pm;
- we didn't get back to Playa del Carmen until about 10.45pm;
- Car rental place was closed long before we got back = $70 extra to return it the next morning
- she was pretty pleased that she managed to knock the shop bloke down by about £8. When I explained that I could have just given her £8 half an hour earlier and still been £60 better off she just seemed completely incapable of computing this basic equation.
We got checked into our hotel and unloaded all of our stuff (1 bag for me, 7 for her) so the car was ready to go back first thing. Somewhat poetically, our holiday finished pretty much where it started - we took a stroll over to Walmart at about half past midnight so she could get a full size suitcase to squeeze all her souvenirs into. I even volunteered to buy it for her, overcome by some sort of misplaced guilt at having spent most of the week hating her.
The next morning, I got up at 7 to drop the car off and then headed to the airport about 2 hours earlier than I needed to.
Been home since Sunday morning. Still not quite come to terms with what I've just put myself through. She sent me a nice message thanking me for a lovely holiday - I can only presume that I am the first bloke she's been away with who's managed not to completely lose his shit and have an anger meltdown at her, and that she classes "permanently teetering on the brink of losing his rag" as "warm and affectionate" compared to what she's experienced in the past.
Anyway, to those of you who've been following this sorry saga, thanks for your humorous comments and replies, which helped to keep me sane during the darkest moments. She did imply that she'd like to do something similar next year if we're both still single. On receipt of that message, I downloaded 15 online dating apps and am currently in the process of placing an ad in every lonely hearts column in London and the South East.
I don't suppose she ever mentioned what holiday tat forums or gangster rap forums she posts on?
Really want to read her version of this vacation.