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Weirdest thing a colleague has done
North Lower Neil
Posts: 22,949
I'm sure we've all worked with a few oddballs - what's the weirdest thing you've ever seen a colleague do?
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Shit in a bin11
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And she was fit36
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Not colleagues as such but I once had to break up a fist fight between two directors who were father and son at a client.6
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Have her waters break in the seat next to me0
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Don’t know if this is weird our downright stupid, a very old engineer walked into a major ammonia leak on a refrigeration plant, it was totally overpowering, i was coughing my lungs up and wearing a rescue breathing apparatus, he was wearing full breathing kit. We were fighting the leak for around 5 minutes, and starting to win, you still couldn’t breath, but he took his full kit of and lit up a fag. I couldn’t believe it, not so much because we couldn’t breathe but ammonia can be explosive. He carried on with the repair, still smoking and with no breathing apparatus.22
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Any reason why?!blackpool72 said:Shit in a bin
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Xmas party.North Lower Neil said:
Any reason why?!blackpool72 said:Shit in a bin
All pissed.
And I don't remember the rest8 -
This thread will be a welcome distraction to the takeover wait.0
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Former colleague lied about his dad dying so he could get a day off....that was actually my boss. Produced fake tears. On reflection he was completely insane to be honest. Someone to stay very clear of.
Another colleague got arrested in the office. I was on the phone looking on like what the f*ck? We were playing football with him at lunch earlier. He seemed normal then all of a sudden the police raid the office and pinn him against the wall. My hunch told me drug trafficking.
Oh yeh (all the same place btw)
A bloke that was an alcoholic maybe about 50-60 odd and a woman between 25-35 were caught on CCTV outside the office but still in the building on a sofa after work hours at around Christmas time, pissed off their faces and foundling each other.
She was a 7.5/10 and rather nice ... he made the other women in the office feel sick. He was not considered attractive in any way shape or form and I could see why. He was just a knob.
It became apparent that he told her he had a successful wine business soon to make him millions as a side project. He was on £6.50 and hour at this place and she fell for his lies.
They both didn't come in to work the next day. I was concerned for her but the whole thing was a bit off and strange.
The CCTV was a slight blur and was not a pretty sight! The boss that lied about his dad dying was the idiot that showed me the footage when it was clear we was not supposed to know about it.6 - Sponsored links:
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The woman in charge at my very first place of work, who was due to retire as she was coming up to 60, asked a junior girl to pop across the road to get a box of teabags. Now the boss in question was a a bit of an old battleaxe so, with that in mind, you can imagine how she reacted when the girl came back with.............. a box of tampax. Quite how the girl got it so wrong I will never know.13
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I worked with an engineer who built his own electrolysis machine and removed his beard with it, and then went through full sex change. Martin became Sandra.6
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Not Martina?JamesSeed said:I worked with an engineer who built his own electrolysis machine and removed his beard with it, and then went through full sex change. Martin became Sandra.
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No, because that wouldn’t represent the huge transformation from beer drinking overweight bearded oaf type bloke, to bonde, slightly slutty hard drinking/ smoking sports car driving peroxide blonde.newyorkaddick said:
Not Martina?JamesSeed said:I worked with an engineer who built his own electrolysis machine and removed his beard with it, and then went through full sex change. Martin became Sandra.
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I work with a bloke who supports Palace.26
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Oh.
Where to start.
I employed someone for 2 months who seemed slightly unhinged, kept a diary of how everyone was it to get them.
Then HR got there checks together and found out every single item of previous work on their CV was a lie, not worked there, no record, got escorted out the building.
Hired a guy with a good track record on mergers and acquisitions, available todaybwcause his mum had died and gone to India for the family, came in lasted 3 weeks and left refusing to speak to us saying he was just not up to the job.
Now have a stable team of people only some of whom have serious personality issues so I Trump them.0 -
I used to have the untidiest desk in the world, (some health and safety bloke once took a photo of it to use in a presentation). I came in one morning and my colleague had put it all in perfect order, to the point that he had perfectly arranged all my pencils in military order and had sharpened them to the degree that they could be used as offensive weapons.7
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JamesSeed said:
I worked with an engineer who built his own electrolysis machine and removed his beard with it, and then went through full sex change. Martin became
SandraKatrien.1 -
Love these types of threads.8
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A bloke left the company. Some months later an unpleasant smell was coming from near the photocopier. It got very bad and it was narrowed down to a cupboard beside the printer that had been used by the ex member of staff. Cupboard opened and smell knocked everyone sideways. Inside was a sainsburys bag full of turd, now going hairy...A parting gift from the ex employee.37
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There’s a joke in there somewhereDave2l said:
He made an electrolysis machine...to remove his beard?JamesSeed said:I worked with an engineer who built his own electrolysis machine and removed his beard with it, and then went through full sex change. Martin became Sandra.
Thought electrolysis machines just seperated ions?5 -
He must have eaten like a horse.Darty Valiant said:A bloke left the company. Some months later an unpleasant smell was coming from near the photocopier. It got very bad and it was narrowed down to a cupboard beside the printer that had been used by the ex member of staff. Cupboard opened and smell knocked everyone sideways. Inside was a sainsburys bank full of turd, now going hairy...A parting gift from the ex employee.
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Used to work for a double glazing company. One guy looked like Will from the inbetweeners and ended up being abducted and kept locked in a room by another colleague for a couple of weeks. That was weird.26
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Since leaving full time education and not getting a training contract at a law firm, I fell into telesales for an events company
I don’t know if any of you have ever had the pleasure of working in a telesales environment, but let me tell you, the recruitment strategy is pretty much throw as much shit at the wall and hope it sticks. I’d have been doing it 12 years in August so I must be a particularly adhesive type of shit
In those 12 years I have seen all sorts
We once hired a guy that didn’t tell us he was registered partially sighted up until we gave him his pitch, at which point he pulled out what looked like a snow globe, but was actually an instrument he needed to place half an inch from his script to read
Once I saw a guy in my very first job physically take the mouse, hold it up to the monitor and move it side to side, up and down as he furiously clicked but nothing happened
In the job, we have to typically pitch the MD of CEO as a starting point, get their buy in, before closing the loop with sales/marketing. One guy who was in his first days on the job rang up our switchboard, asked for the name of our MD and to be put through and proceeded to pitch him
These are just a few things that spring to mind. There’s probably loads more16 -
Hmm, yes, er, this was about 1980 and he designed this circuit, then built it, and I think it fired zappy electrical charges at the hair follicle. I just remember it left red dots on his face. But it did kill the follicles.Dave2l said:
He made an electrolysis machine...to remove his beard?JamesSeed said:I worked with an engineer who built his own electrolysis machine and removed his beard with it, and then went through full sex change. Martin became Sandra.
Thought electrolysis machines just seperated ions?
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Agree, although this thread wont properly kick off until @Carter postsRodneyCharltonTrotta said:Love these types of threads.
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In the early Eighties, Peter, a surveyor at work was demoted and dumped into our section. He was a bit of an oddball, in his 60s, pasty grey skin, thin as a rake, dressed like a tramp, and used to spend his lunch break rummaging for food in bins and drinking the dregs of people's tea over the road at Victoria station. He lived like a recluse and we never saw him spend any money. It was rumoured he was a millionaire. He didn't really speak to anyone while in our office.
We had a Polish woman, Theresa, working in the office. She regularly went over to visit family and was over there when the Solidarity uprising began. Unfortunately for her she went over using her Polish passport rather than her UK one. Martial law was declared and she wasn't allowed to leave the country.
After she had been over there for a week, we came in the next Monday to discover Peter wasn't in. No one thought anything of it until our boss told us he had travelled over to Poland with her UK passport and they were due back on the Thursday. How he got it we don't know as they had never spoken at work.
Thursday came and went with no sign of them so the rumour mill went into overdrive. On the Friday, me and my mate Jerry hatched a plan as a joke. Our mate Robby who was off with a broken leg, could do a perfect impersonation of Peter. We got him to phone up our supervisor and say he had been arrested, was being kept under armed guard in his hotel and his passport had been confiscated. He kept the conversation going for 20 minutes while me and Jerry were pissing ourselves laughing as we listened on another extension. Robby ended the call without letting on it was a joke. we were so busy laughing, we didn't see our supervisor leave the room.
When he came back 20 minutes later, he told us he had spoken to one of the directors and the Foreign Office had been notified! We spent another 20 minutes trying to convince him it had been a joke but he refused to believe us. We only convinced him when we called Robby, who then did his impersonation. The blokes face dropped and he rushed back out of the office to tell the director. Me and Jerry got hauled upstairs later expecting to be sacked but the director thought it was hilarious. He had pulled a few strings with some establishment mates to sort it out. Told us to tell everyone we had got a right bollocking and left it at that.
Peter and Theresa returned to work the next week. Neither of them ever spoke about what had happened and never even spoke to each other in the office, so we let our imaginations run riot. I started up a cartoon strip featuring him as a James Bond type character, it had a readership of hundreds! When he found out, he went to a police station asking to have me arrested for defamation of character! He got laughed out of the nick.
I still wonder what actually happened.
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Local authority job appraisal. A colleague - Parks and Gardens staff - is required to present evidence of competency regarding familiarity with site, opening up, locking, health and safety, regular patrols, etc. He turns up for his interview with an A4 ring-binder. When asked to offer evidence of his on-site patrols, he opens the folder...and proudly shows the panel a photocopy of the sole of his boot.26
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Marrying me.1
