Dated this girl, took her to Wimpy Bexleyheath - the menu was surprising good and she paid.
I had a thick beard back then and the conversation lead on to body hair... She randomly opened flies in her jeans to prove how hairy she was and 'how long' it had been since she 'had any'
Married her 4 years later.
Gets her bush out in Wimpey. Most definitely a keeper!!
Met a young lady at a party on a Saturday. I was very drunk and agreed to meet her on Sunday night in Greenwich. We arrived in the pub but I didn't recognise her. I really couldn't believe I had agreed to meet this lady, she really wasn't for me. Disgracefully, I went to the toilet and ran for it and left the poor young lady there. I've never got over the guilt. Even after 40+ years. Sorry, Anne, Annette or Anna - I forget your name. I hope you're not on CL!
I expect I must be the only person that has on two occasions taken a woman back to my bachelor flat and slept with them in my single bed without actually getting my end away
Dated this girl, took her to Wimpy Bexleyheath - the menu was surprising good and she paid.
I had a thick beard back then and the conversation lead on to body hair... She randomly opened flies in her jeans to prove how hairy she was and 'how long' it had been since she 'had any'
Married her 4 years later.
I can't work out whether I'm more surprised that it took you four years to marry her or that you married her at all.
I expect I must be the only person that has on two occasions taken a woman back to my bachelor flat and slept with them in my single bed without actually getting my end away
Yeh, I can't see too many other people taking a woman back to your batchelor flat.
I expect I must be the only person that has on two occasions taken a woman back to my bachelor flat and slept with them in my single bed without actually getting my end away
I met my future wife at a dinner party where we bonded over the washing up. What's weird about that? We were doing the washing up before we'd eaten, the plates were so mucky when they'd been laid out on the table.
Went for lunch at the plough in Eynsford. Stroll by the river after. Little paddle....she slipped on a rock and was dragged 20 yards downstream whilst I just stood there in total shock!
I went on a date when I was 17 with a girl from work. Ended up in the Eltham Pizza Hut and she started getting upset because she thought another girl at work fancied me and ended up breaking down and hyper venterlating. The other diners were looking at me obviously thinking it was my fault and that I was a shit.
Yeah right, nothing to do with the finger blasting under the table.
I expect I must be the only person that has on two occasions taken a woman back to my bachelor flat and slept with them in my single bed without actually getting my end away
What, not even when they were asleep ?
Well it' s funny you should say that CE.. With one of them I woke up and got amorous and busy and suddenly my freaking alarm went off and she jumped to attention and virtually ripped my arm out of it's socket.:(
Between marriages in the '80s I met blind dates from the Personals small ads in Time Out. Lots of unusual experiences with weirdos.
One young woman cycled from Highgate to my house in Surrey on an ancient upright bike. After she showered things looked promising until she kissed me. Her lipstick had a vile taste! Turned out she was a fire-eater in a circus and, having run out of normal lipstick, had turned to her fireproof stock.
She was fairly attractive, fifteen years younger than me, and very cultured. (Daughter of a famous showbiz father). She was very fit in bed, as she doubled as a clown and tumbler in the show. But too wacky for me. I was worried she might have knife-throwing skills as well.
Her son attended a well-known public school, as had his grandfather who enrolled him. One day they summoned her for a meeting. They had asked the boys to draw their fathers pursuing their professions (MPs, stockbrokers, army officers, airline pilots, etc.) Her son drew his mother, as he had no father. He drew her in a skimpy bikini surrounded by flames. They knew nothing of her circus profession and thought he needed urgent psychological help.
I expect I must be the only person that has on two occasions taken a woman back to my bachelor flat and slept with them in my single bed without actually getting my end away
What, not even when they were asleep ?
Well it' s funny you should say that CE.. With one of them I woke up and got amorous and busy and suddenly my freaking alarm went off and she jumped to attention and virtually ripped my arm out of it's socket.:(
I expect I must be the only person that has on two occasions taken a woman back to my bachelor flat and slept with them in my single bed without actually getting my end away
class="Quote" rel="tom- k">I met a really good looking local girl in a bar whilst on holiday in Zuric. One thing lead to another and she invited me back to her house for a nightcap. We walked for miles to her apartment and when we got inside there was a bloke inside watching tv. I assumed it was her flatmate but no, it was her boyfriend.
I made out like I had dropped something on the way there and made my exit, not to return, weirdos.
Dated this girl, took her to Wimpy Bexleyheath - the menu was surprising good and she paid.
I had a thick beard back then and the conversation lead on to body hair... She randomly opened flies in her jeans to prove how hairy she was and 'how long' it had been since she 'had any'
Married her 4 years later.
Not as catchy, as "Waiter, waiter there's a fly in my soup." However I could see it put some meat on the bone.
Years ago, before I met Mr Tatters, I went out with a male friend to a pub. We'd known each other for a couple of years and I assumes he was just a friend. Anyway, we'd had lots to drink but didn't get round to eating. After yet another round of drinks he declayed undying love for me before falling into a diabetic coma. People rush round, ambulance called etc etc. To this day we haven't mentioned it again. Beer goggles?
Dated this girl, took her to Wimpy Bexleyheath - the menu was surprising good and she paid.
I had a thick beard back then and the conversation lead on to body hair... She randomly opened flies in her jeans to prove how hairy she was and 'how long' it had been since she 'had any'
Married her 4 years later.
I can't work out whether I'm more surprised that it took you four years to marry her or that you married her at all.
I met my future wife at a dinner party where we bonded over the washing up. What's weird about that? We were doing the washing up before we'd eaten, the plates were so mucky when they'd been laid out on the table.
Years ago, before I met Mr Tatters, I went out with a male friend to a pub. We'd known each other for a couple of years and I assumes he was just a friend. Anyway, we'd had lots to drink but didn't get round to eating. After yet another round of drinks he declayed undying love for me before falling into a diabetic coma. People rush round, ambulance called etc etc. To this day we haven't mentioned it again. Beer goggles?
Which begs the question of what would have happened if ya mate had not passed out!
I went out with the his girl once, we got into drinking games before heading back to her place. Surprised I was still in a functioning state down below, she knelt in front of me and started to pleasure me, unfortunately the combination of that and the drink made her puke all over it and me. The worse part is I have a very poor gag reflex and seeing her puke made me puke all over her head like a shower of vomit.
Was seeing this girl about 18 years ago and had forgotten to book somewhere for valentines (our first one), anyway ringing around the Thomson local got me nowhere, was living in eltham at the time but hadn't been there for long...
Was getting fed up when I found the number for the 'Eltham Grill' thought it sounded like a steak house, call number....'er yes sir no problem, table for 2 tomorrow night, are you sure'.....'course I am' I said and put the phone down double happy that i'd sorted a restaurant.
Following night we get ready and get a cab to the high st, walk down past the tavern and round past Argos, I remember thinking 'I don't remember seeing any restaurants here before', then I saw the sign for the eltham grill.....it was a chippy, only had 2 tables in the window (old plastic things) and one actually had a reserved sign scribbled on a bit of paper....we kept walking past and luckily got in my local curry house in a table squeezed in by the kitchen!!
Took a girl I was dating to a party somewhere in Kensington. A pretty Vietnamese girl. Anyway, we were up to a bit of the old horizontal dancing on a large bed covered in guests' coats. Suddenly the pile of coats moved and another girl's head popped out and she threw up all over us. Kind of ruined the moment.
Took a girl I was dating to a party somewhere in Kensington. A pretty Vietnamese girl. Anyway, we were up to a bit of the old horizontal dancing on a large bed covered in guests' coats. Suddenly the pile of coats moved and another girl's head popped out and she threw up all over us. Kind of ruined the moment.
She'd probably had your arsehole rubbing against her nostrils for 10mins no wonder the poor cow.
Took a girl I was dating to a party somewhere in Kensington. A pretty Vietnamese girl. Anyway, we were up to a bit of the old horizontal dancing on a large bed covered in guests' coats. Suddenly the pile of coats moved and another girl's head popped out and she threw up all over us. Kind of ruined the moment.
She'd probably had your arsehole rubbing against her nostrils for 10mins no wonder the poor cow.
I remember going back to a ladies house after a successful night at the local meat market. I'm my amorous yet drunken state I removed my trousers, pants, socks and shoes in one deft pull, leaving them in a fireman style ring next to the bed. You can guess where she puked in the night. I had to do the walk of shame with a very vommy gusset, walking like John Wayne with carrot in my shoes (underwear and socks in a neighbour's bin)
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If the latter I got a shag once.....
With one of them I woke up and got amorous and busy and suddenly my freaking alarm went off and she jumped to attention and virtually ripped my arm out of it's socket.:(
One young woman cycled from Highgate to my house in Surrey on an ancient upright bike. After she showered things looked promising until she kissed me. Her lipstick had a vile taste! Turned out she was a fire-eater in a circus and, having run out of normal lipstick, had turned to her fireproof stock.
She was fairly attractive, fifteen years younger than me, and very cultured. (Daughter of a famous showbiz father). She was very fit in bed, as she doubled as a clown and tumbler in the show. But too wacky for me. I was worried she might have knife-throwing skills as well.
Her son attended a well-known public school, as had his grandfather who enrolled him. One day they summoned her for a meeting. They had asked the boys to draw their fathers pursuing their professions (MPs, stockbrokers, army officers, airline pilots, etc.) Her son drew his mother, as he had no father. He drew her in a skimpy bikini surrounded by flames. They knew nothing of her circus profession and thought he needed urgent psychological help.
Six-a.m-bag-of-nuts
I made out like I had dropped something on the way there and made my exit, not to return, weirdos.
You not seen cuckold grot?
Not my finest hour.
Was getting fed up when I found the number for the 'Eltham Grill' thought it sounded like a steak house, call number....'er yes sir no problem, table for 2 tomorrow night, are you sure'.....'course I am' I said and put the phone down double happy that i'd sorted a restaurant.
Following night we get ready and get a cab to the high st, walk down past the tavern and round past Argos, I remember thinking 'I don't remember seeing any restaurants here before', then I saw the sign for the eltham grill.....it was a chippy, only had 2 tables in the window (old plastic things) and one actually had a reserved sign scribbled on a bit of paper....we kept walking past and luckily got in my local curry house in a table squeezed in by the kitchen!!
Needless to say that relationship died a death!!
Anyway, we were up to a bit of the old horizontal dancing on a large bed covered in guests' coats.
Suddenly the pile of coats moved and another girl's head popped out and she threw up all over us. Kind of ruined the moment.
How much does he pay you to be his publicist?