Your most unhinged "if I came to power" rule

cantersaddick · August 21

Not looking for actual sensible suggestions. The most out there things you would ban or make law if you had complete power.

Mind would be - immediate deportation to a remote island (not pleasant) for anyone wearing a cravat.

Go.

ValleyGary · August 21

People that don’t say please or thank you get their mouths sown up for a week. You can’t be polite, you don’t get to speak.

cantersaddick · August 21

Every tuesday there would be a public gathering in all local parks around the country where people who litter are lined up and we can all throw tomatoes at them. We all get to then chill out have some nice food and beer while they clean all the tomato from the park.

Need a name for this festival though.

ShootersHillGuru · August 21

People who drop their chewing gum on the floor should be made to spend a week cleaning it off.

Edit : with their teeth.

cantersaddick · August 21

ShootersHillGuru said:

People who drop their chewing gum on the floor should be made to spend a week cleaning it off.

Not unhinged enough. Punishment needs to me more out there. Try again

sam3110 · August 21

Cyclists who still cycle down the middle of the road, ignoring their dedicated cycle lane, are made to ride naked tandem for a week, behind overweight men with explosive IBS and a penchant for spicy curries

RopeYardRailsBruv · August 21

A complete ban on any colour combination that places red and blue together in verrtical stripes

iaitch · August 21

sam3110 said:

Cyclists who still cycle down the middle of the road, ignoring their dedicated cycle lane, are made to ride naked tandem for a week, behind overweight men with explosive IBS and a penchant for spicy curries

Harsh but fair.

Huskaris · August 21

Anyone who plays mobile phones out loud on public transport to have the phone inserted up their arse.

jose · August 21

People who get on a bus with seats available yet stand in the exit doorway blocking it should be made to get off the bus and push it along every uphill part of the road.

arthur · August 21

People who consiously drop litter get fired into space. They are absolutlely no use to the human race.

SporadicAddick · August 21

I would ban people that annoy me from being in public spaces. There would be a number of criteria:-

Eating with your mouth open.

Not moving to the left on motorways.

Not saying please and thankyou.

Parking in parent and child spaces when you then just sit in the car with the kid whilst one parent gets out.

anyone ever wearing a facemask for the purpose of hiding identity.

Anyone with a fake accent.

etc etc.

cfgs · August 21

arthur said:

People who consiously drop litter get fired into space. They are absolutlely no use to the human race.

I want tazers used on people who drop litter. And return of stocks for antisocial behavior and shoplifting.

letthegoodtimesroll · August 21

Reading the Fat Jab thread I’d make it law that wine can only be served in small wine glasses. Anyone that quaffs a drink that has a high alcohol content like it is lemonade, which is what they are doing if they use any glass bigger than a standard small one, needs all the help they can get.

Henry Irving · August 21

Anyone pronouncing "H" as "Haitch" rather than "Aitch" to be forced to eat gobstoppers non-stop.

cfgs · August 21

Huskaris said:

Anyone who plays mobile phones out loud on public transport to have the phone inserted up their arse.

Then forced up their left nostril.

cfgs · August 21

Pavements to be widened and made like motorways. The left being for dawdlering and stopping.

Banning umbrellas for anyone under six foot. Fed up with nearly having an eye gouged out every time it piddles it down.

bobmunro · August 21

Henry Irving said:

Anyone pronouncing "H" as "Haitch" rather than "Aitch" to be forced to eat gobstoppers non-stop.

I'd agree with that, Enry.

Henry Irving · August 21

bobmunro said:

Henry Irving said:

Anyone pronouncing "H" as "Haitch" rather than "Aitch" to be forced to eat gobstoppers non-stop.

I'd agree with that, Enry.

Well, you did work in Haitch R

Kinsella87 · August 21

Anyone who arrives at a till, bar, service area, ticket barrier, getting on a bus etc and does not have there money/card ready to use.

Also getting to a bar and taking ages to chose what drink you want...

All should be kicked in the shin.

fenaddick · August 21

Kinsella87 said:

Anyone who arrives at a till, bar, service area, ticket barrier, getting on a bus etc and does not have there money/card ready to use.

Also getting to a bar and taking ages to chose what drink you want...

All should be kicked in the shin.

Addition to this, any establishment that makes it hard to see what drinks are available (like chain coffee shops with TV screens with rotating slides) have to make all products free on a Friday afternoon

Redskin · August 21

Those found guilty of the 'snatching' of mobile phones whilst riding motorised bicycles on the pavement will be taken to a public place where they will be secured in stocks after having their trousers and pants pulled down around their ankles.
The public will then be given permission to pelt them with an array of rotten foodstuffs provided by that week's supermarket sponsors.
The criminals will remain in the stocks for the time it takes to have the word, 'THIEF' tattooed on their forehead after which they will be given a police escort to the nearest bus stop.
Download the free app 'Stocks for Cocks' and enter your postcode to find upcoming 'Pelters' events in your area.

Kinsella87 · August 21

fenaddick said:

Kinsella87 said:

Anyone who arrives at a till, bar, service area, ticket barrier, getting on a bus etc and does not have there money/card ready to use.

Also getting to a bar and taking ages to chose what drink you want...

All should be kicked in the shin.

Addition to this, any establishment that makes it hard to see what drinks are available (like chain coffee shops with TV screens with rotating slides) have to make all products free on a Friday afternoon

Very true, TVs never had to be introduced to just show what’s on the menu.

Six-a-bag-of-nuts · August 21

cantersaddick said:

Every tuesday there would be a public gathering in all local parks around the country where people who litter are lined up and we can all throw tomatoes at them. We all get to then chill out have some nice food and beer while they clean all the tomato from the park.

Need a name for this festival though.

I was going to suggest Scumfest, but didn't want to sow confusion with Millwall's annual Open Day

Clem_Snide · August 21

Anyone who uses the word So as punctuation to be executed on the spot. No trial required. Victim of the hate crime can choose the method of killing.

AndyG · August 21

Drivers that sit in the middle lane of motorways !!! they should be suspended naked from motorway bridges for all to see

swordfish · August 21

Mobile phone life bans for those who use them to film accidents happening for likes rather than offering practical assistance.

lolwray · August 21

Anyone who starts a rival thread to the things that annoy you thread.😄

blackpool72 · August 21

Anyone who refers to Millwall as Wall to get a custodial sentence.
If you have to use an abbreviation just say scum

Bedsaddick · August 21

So basically this is the same as “ The Things I dislike “ thread ?

The Red Robin · August 21

An IQ test before you’re allowed to vote in any election.

No pension until you retake your driving test. Doesn’t matter if you fail, it means you shouldn’t be on the road.

Basic minimum wage for everyone, working or not.

Free School Meals for all U18s.

Your most unhinged "if I came to power" rule

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