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You know you're getting old when.
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Looking into residential places for my mum, one of which is very expensive and pretty upmarket, it crossed my mind this would do me, oh bugger.2
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hoes for me. To make matters worse they've been shut for about five years.AFKABartram said:You type Victoria S in your search engine and it auto finishes ponge instead of ecret
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You develop a lactose intolerance. I hardly drink milk, so my lactase production ability must have vanished at some point. Had a few milky teas the other day and oh my god oh jesus christ the work khazi got it. Wasn't sure if that was what it was so repeated the experiment the following week. Straight through me, and I nearly ended up like a onesie casually thrown over the arm of a chair.3
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When it takes three attempts to get up from the settee at night5
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When your best 100 jokes or stories could get you arrested in 2021.13
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and each attempt is accompanied by a strange noise / "hup" as you tense your stomach muscles to help.thai malaysia addick said:When it takes three attempts to get up from the settee at night2 -
Then shit yourselfSporadicAddick said:
and each attempt is accompanied by a strange noise / "hup" as you tense your stomach muscles to help.thai malaysia addick said:When it takes three attempts to get up from the settee at night11 -
When you watch the Tour de France - primarily to admire the scenery.5
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You start to think Hitler, Stalin, Castro were a bit right of middle.
Or you read Golfie posts and think he has a point0 -
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.... you have to cup your balls when having a dump.5
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Have to or want to?shine166 said:.... you have to cup your balls when having a dump.2 -
You realise Taekwondo is not the sport for you, as no points are awarded for ankle and shin kicks.3
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I think the first attempt is often a complete failure. The second attempt starts with a rocking motion to build up some momentum, but, due to attempts at conserving energy, it's not quite enough. The third attempt comes, as you say, with a "hup" or "ooph" (or both). However, if that fails, I try to pretend I wasn't trying to get up and watch telly for another five minutes while trying to stop myself thinking "Christ, it's 9 o'clock it's getting late".SporadicAddick said:
and each attempt is accompanied by a strange noise / "hup" as you tense your stomach muscles to help.thai malaysia addick said:When it takes three attempts to get up from the settee at night7 -
You start getting adds saying "23 year old local female looking for older man".
I'm only 26 ffs.4 -
Did she reply to your message?cantersaddick said:You start getting adds saying "23 year old local female looking for older man".
I'm only 26 ffs.1 -
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You see a thread for the Tokyo Olympics, and you think of Lyn Davies, Mary Rand and Ann Packer.7
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You're waiting for the toast to pop up when you haven't put any bread in the toaster.9
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Have you been waiting since breakfast time this morning for the toast then? - Seeing its nearly 3pmlimeygent said:You're waiting for the toast to pop up when you haven't put any bread in the toaster.
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Not where I am.ForeverAddickted said:
Have you been waiting since breakfast time this morning for the toast then? - Seeing its nearly 3pmlimeygent said:You're waiting for the toast to pop up when you haven't put any bread in the toaster.2 -
Checked it was plugged in, checked the circuit breaker.....1
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You're happy to pay someone to fix your brakes instead of doing them yourself.1
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You read the club is going cashless and you think they won’t have two ha’pennies to rub together…2
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When you see photos of an old landmark (Baseball Ground in this case) and think, cor look the clobber them people are wearing and look at them old cars, then realise you were well into this mortal coil when the photo was taken and could've even been in it the photo5
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Yup, know that feelingGribbo said:When you see photos of an old landmark (Baseball Ground in this case) and think, cor look the clobber them people are wearing and look at them old cars, then realise you were well into this mortal coil when the photo was taken and could've even been in it the photo2 -
My problem is wondering about trying to work out where I’ve parked. Then realising 10 mins later that I left the car at home.DaveMehmet said:You go out in the car, get about a mile down the road, wonder what the warning light on the dash is and realise you’ve left the tailgate open.0 -
Smoking a joint will help your aches and pains. Not so good for the eyesight though.DaveMehmet said:You go to Camden with a couple of mates, find a pub to eat in, order a coffee then sit there complaining about your aches/pains and failing eyesight/hearing.
It didn't seem that long ago that we'd have been looking for a place where we could get away with smoking a joint.0
