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The Playing Golf Thread

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    Two four balls at princes on 1st April. Find the tee shot on the first one of the hardest so should be interesting having not swung a club for over 6 months.
    Which courses are you playing  ?
    Dunes and shore. 70 a man which I suppose is fair.
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    Had this week off work so played every day, winter is definitely over here as been in the 30 degrees daily. Good news is the handicap is moving in the right direction, 11.2 now.

    After speaking with my old man he can't wait to get back out and play either. Hope you all enjoy your golf, it's been a long time coming.


    Love that mate. Hope you’re well.
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    edited March 2021
    Taxi_Lad said:
    How’s the shoulder @Sillybilly?
    my mate has recently joined the green staff at Dartford GC. He says they haven’t done proper aeration of the greens for 3 years. They have now finished the first core and top dressed them so hopefully be playing well when you return. He also reckons the head green keeper is keen to lose the temporary greens in time👍🏻
    Well there’s a story!!!!  May as well tell it here. The shoulder remains unfixed. A couple of more dates came and went during lockdown and I had some advice which suggested the passage of time might not have done me any favours. I’ve been waiting patiently. We decided to crack on with life and recently my family and I relocated to the Isle of Wight (completed on16 Feb as seen elsewhere in this forum. I’ve been having foot issues which my doctor put down to plantar fasciitis over the winter but it was clear after a week on the island that I was in real trouble so the panic button was duly pressed. Anyway, cutting a long story very short and with appropriate thanks to the sterling efforts of Ventnor Medical Practice and Southampton General Hospital, I am typing this from the recovery ward after my third surgery totalling 21 hours this week culminating in the amputation today of my right foot below the knee.  Life will, as they say, go on but at the moment my shoulder is but a pimple on the arse of my distress.  

    The new greenkeeper appointment at Dartford will be absolutely key. Already obvious that it has been the blind leading the blind for years. Just hope it’s salvageable. 
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    Anyone ever used the Garmin CT10 club tags or similar (arcos)? Got a starter pack free with a new watch, worth setting them all up?
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    edited March 2021
    Jesus Christ @Sillybilly that sounds horrific. Glad you're through the other side now and sounding relatively positive. Hope you're recovered as well as possible ASAP.
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    cafcpolo said:
    Anyone ever used the Garmin CT10 club tags or similar (arcos)? Got a starter pack free with a new watch, worth setting them all up?
    I’ve just got some new cobra irons, arccoss built in. Reviews suggest it’s very good so hoping it helps the game.
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    Playing lullingstone 30th March, redlibbetts 18th April society and as much as possible in between!!. Can’t wait.
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    I was a member at Woodlands Manor for many years, and my favourite memory is this

    Played in a singles comp, match play - at the turn I was 3 up and cruising, then I started to play pretty shit (story of my golfing life - never really converted a good 9 into a good 18) - by the par 5 16th it was all square, and I’m sweating a bit

    We both play decent tee shots, and he hit the ball a bit longer than me, so i play 2nd shot first, and I hit a half decent shot, but it goes right a bit into the rough 

    The green on that hole was in a dip, so you couldn’t tell if green was occupied or not - bloke I am playing says he is going for the green in 2, so I said I would walk down to my ball and tell him if it was clear - I get to my ball, green is clear, shout back that it’s ok to play

    He hits the ball and it flys off left into the woods - but I can see where it went, as it hit a branch and dropped straight down

    He shouts that he is playing a provisional, and drops one down and hits it to about 5 foot from the pin - he picks his bag up, and marches to the green - I quickly play my 3rd shot to just short of the green, and I walk towards him

    I say ‘I think I know where your ball that went in the woods is’, he says he is going to play his provisional - I said if we find the one in the woods, you have to play that ball, as you called a provisional - he disagrees, but I go over to the woods, and find his ball immediately, behind a tree trunk 

    After some heated debate, he agrees to play his first ball, but says he will speak to pro when we get back in, and if I am wrong, and I win the match, he wants a replay. - I agree, but know I am right

    He takes 4 shots to get out of woods, and only then gets onto fairway - then he thins his shot to green, and it ends up in the woods behind green - he gives me the hole - I am 1 up, with 2 to play, and he is no longer speaking to me - I crunch a drive up 17, and he is now like jelly on the tee - he slices his tee shot into a little copse on the right - takes 2 to get out, and then overclubs to the green - I get a bogey, win hole and match

    He refuses to play 18, so I play it on my own (loved 18 at Woodlands, what a view) - I walk back to clubhouse, and bloke I have played is having a row with the Pro in the car park, because he thinks I have cheated - he’s upset to learn that I hadn’t 

    That bloke never ever spoke to me again !!!

    Also in a medal once, I was marking a card of a new member playing off of 28 - he is having the round of his life, some pars, 2 birdies etc - towards the end of the round (I think it was 17) he hits his ball into the trees, and finds it, but it’s in ivy on the ground - he starts ripping up the ivy with his hands to get to the ball and have a shot, plays the ball, but it only moves a bit, and he repeats the ivy removal trick again, this happens 4 times in all, and he ends up with what he thinks is a 9 or 10 from memory (he was all over the place on this hole) - I tell him that I don’t know what he got on that hole, we will have to ask the pro at the end, because I don’t know if it’s a 1 or 2 shot penalty for moving live vegetation - he blows a gasket, even threatened to punch me (he would have been out cold if he had tried that) - go to see pro at the end - it’s a 2 shot penalty per offence, so he had 18 shots on the 17th hole !!! Wrecked his card - in fairness he did apologise to me after he had calmed down
    Love those two stories and you tell them well.  I can picture 16, 17 and 18 at Woodlands as I read it. Think it was there I got my first sub 80 score and won the comp. Needed to par 18 for a 79. 

    I'm certain if you found the first guy's original ball then there's no debate, it's in play, whether he wanted to look for it / play it or not.  Was the pro in the car park big Phil? Gentle giant if I recall.  Lovely bloke, but not so hot at golf I was told. Think he used to go by the nickname of Kajagoogoo or similar because he was always stuck in the 80s. 

    Your thing reminds me of a similar, but reverse, situation I had at the London Club playing in a comp. 

    12th Tee shot on the Heritage, hit it longish and (I thought) over the trees on the right. Wasn't sure, so played a provisional which was fine. We go to find my first which my playing partner was convinced was in the trees about 30 yards short of where I thought it was. I tell him I think I hit it further, but he says I absolutely didn't to the extent I couldn't really argue (I'm a much gentler soul than your two partners at WM). 

    So I play the provisional and as we walk up the fairway there we see my original ball in the clear and roughly where I thought it was. I was fuming (inside)! Play poorly after that. 

    ...However, a few weeks later my brother and I get drawn against him and a mate in the latter stages of the pairs matchplay knock out thing. They take the lead, keep the lead and are really chipper the whole way round. 

    My brother's off 24 but is streaky. He can crunch it, but can thin it and doesn't do greenside bunkers at all.  He just doesn't show up and I'm playing them on my own (was off 9 which I had to be really at it to keep to) and I just can't compete.  They are 2 up with 4 to play and it's game over.

    Suddenly my brother finds it and wins 15 and 16. He drains a 40 footer on 17 for the half. You can see they feel cheated. My brother and I hit it straight down the middle on 18, and they are wobbling. They both hit their's into to the water and now it is game over!

    Grudging shake of hands and they walked off the 18th without speaking to us.
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    My job has shifted due to covid, and I'm now working as a golf travel agent, providing golf holidays, with a bit of wine tasting thrown in.
    It's been fun visiting the courses around Catalunya this month, but I have a tough week ahead  with the  IGTM golf online travel fair.
    As for playing, I play pitch and putt, and while I fancy trying golf,  it would cause misery to decent golfers wiring for me to play out of trees  bunkers and all the other shit that plagues me.
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    I was a member at Woodlands Manor for many years, and my favourite memory is this

    Played in a singles comp, match play - at the turn I was 3 up and cruising, then I started to play pretty shit (story of my golfing life - never really converted a good 9 into a good 18) - by the par 5 16th it was all square, and I’m sweating a bit

    We both play decent tee shots, and he hit the ball a bit longer than me, so i play 2nd shot first, and I hit a half decent shot, but it goes right a bit into the rough 

    The green on that hole was in a dip, so you couldn’t tell if green was occupied or not - bloke I am playing says he is going for the green in 2, so I said I would walk down to my ball and tell him if it was clear - I get to my ball, green is clear, shout back that it’s ok to play

    He hits the ball and it flys off left into the woods - but I can see where it went, as it hit a branch and dropped straight down

    He shouts that he is playing a provisional, and drops one down and hits it to about 5 foot from the pin - he picks his bag up, and marches to the green - I quickly play my 3rd shot to just short of the green, and I walk towards him

    I say ‘I think I know where your ball that went in the woods is’, he says he is going to play his provisional - I said if we find the one in the woods, you have to play that ball, as you called a provisional - he disagrees, but I go over to the woods, and find his ball immediately, behind a tree trunk 

    After some heated debate, he agrees to play his first ball, but says he will speak to pro when we get back in, and if I am wrong, and I win the match, he wants a replay. - I agree, but know I am right

    He takes 4 shots to get out of woods, and only then gets onto fairway - then he thins his shot to green, and it ends up in the woods behind green - he gives me the hole - I am 1 up, with 2 to play, and he is no longer speaking to me - I crunch a drive up 17, and he is now like jelly on the tee - he slices his tee shot into a little copse on the right - takes 2 to get out, and then overclubs to the green - I get a bogey, win hole and match

    He refuses to play 18, so I play it on my own (loved 18 at Woodlands, what a view) - I walk back to clubhouse, and bloke I have played is having a row with the Pro in the car park, because he thinks I have cheated - he’s upset to learn that I hadn’t 

    That bloke never ever spoke to me again !!!

    Also in a medal once, I was marking a card of a new member playing off of 28 - he is having the round of his life, some pars, 2 birdies etc - towards the end of the round (I think it was 17) he hits his ball into the trees, and finds it, but it’s in ivy on the ground - he starts ripping up the ivy with his hands to get to the ball and have a shot, plays the ball, but it only moves a bit, and he repeats the ivy removal trick again, this happens 4 times in all, and he ends up with what he thinks is a 9 or 10 from memory (he was all over the place on this hole) - I tell him that I don’t know what he got on that hole, we will have to ask the pro at the end, because I don’t know if it’s a 1 or 2 shot penalty for moving live vegetation - he blows a gasket, even threatened to punch me (he would have been out cold if he had tried that) - go to see pro at the end - it’s a 2 shot penalty per offence, so he had 18 shots on the 17th hole !!! Wrecked his card - in fairness he did apologise to me after he had calmed down
    Not sure of the exact R&A rules but I thought he had a choice of just not looking for it. And even if he did he would have to identify it as his. I've known a few players adamantly suggest that they were now playing with a Srixon when all round they were playing a Titleist when an errant tee shot was found deep in the undergrowth.

    I remember that "cheater" Mickleson hit a wayward drive in the desert once & the ball was last seen heading down a ravine into some very nasty scrub land. He played another & shouted quiet loudly that he didnt want any of the spectators rushing off trying to find his original ball. 
    Sorry old chap, but the rules are very clear - if you don’t say provisional then your 2nd ball is in play - so if you then walk down the fairway and find your first shot (which you think was lost) is in play, tough - you declared that first ball gone by default

    But - if you call a provisional - or a Gerry Adam’s - then you give yourself the chance of finding your first and it’s playable, then you haven’t dropped 2 shots - happy days

    Also, the bloke tearing up ivy - well it’s his problem - the rules are clear - you can’t give advice to another player on the course - the rules dictate that you should know the rules - ignorance is not a defence - I would have been outside the rules by saying ‘you can’t do that’

    Harsh - but it’s the rules 
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    dickad1 said:
    I was a member at Woodlands Manor for many years, and my favourite memory is this

    Played in a singles comp, match play - at the turn I was 3 up and cruising, then I started to play pretty shit (story of my golfing life - never really converted a good 9 into a good 18) - by the par 5 16th it was all square, and I’m sweating a bit

    We both play decent tee shots, and he hit the ball a bit longer than me, so i play 2nd shot first, and I hit a half decent shot, but it goes right a bit into the rough 

    The green on that hole was in a dip, so you couldn’t tell if green was occupied or not - bloke I am playing says he is going for the green in 2, so I said I would walk down to my ball and tell him if it was clear - I get to my ball, green is clear, shout back that it’s ok to play

    He hits the ball and it flys off left into the woods - but I can see where it went, as it hit a branch and dropped straight down

    He shouts that he is playing a provisional, and drops one down and hits it to about 5 foot from the pin - he picks his bag up, and marches to the green - I quickly play my 3rd shot to just short of the green, and I walk towards him

    I say ‘I think I know where your ball that went in the woods is’, he says he is going to play his provisional - I said if we find the one in the woods, you have to play that ball, as you called a provisional - he disagrees, but I go over to the woods, and find his ball immediately, behind a tree trunk 

    After some heated debate, he agrees to play his first ball, but says he will speak to pro when we get back in, and if I am wrong, and I win the match, he wants a replay. - I agree, but know I am right

    He takes 4 shots to get out of woods, and only then gets onto fairway - then he thins his shot to green, and it ends up in the woods behind green - he gives me the hole - I am 1 up, with 2 to play, and he is no longer speaking to me - I crunch a drive up 17, and he is now like jelly on the tee - he slices his tee shot into a little copse on the right - takes 2 to get out, and then overclubs to the green - I get a bogey, win hole and match

    He refuses to play 18, so I play it on my own (loved 18 at Woodlands, what a view) - I walk back to clubhouse, and bloke I have played is having a row with the Pro in the car park, because he thinks I have cheated - he’s upset to learn that I hadn’t 

    That bloke never ever spoke to me again !!!

    Also in a medal once, I was marking a card of a new member playing off of 28 - he is having the round of his life, some pars, 2 birdies etc - towards the end of the round (I think it was 17) he hits his ball into the trees, and finds it, but it’s in ivy on the ground - he starts ripping up the ivy with his hands to get to the ball and have a shot, plays the ball, but it only moves a bit, and he repeats the ivy removal trick again, this happens 4 times in all, and he ends up with what he thinks is a 9 or 10 from memory (he was all over the place on this hole) - I tell him that I don’t know what he got on that hole, we will have to ask the pro at the end, because I don’t know if it’s a 1 or 2 shot penalty for moving live vegetation - he blows a gasket, even threatened to punch me (he would have been out cold if he had tried that) - go to see pro at the end - it’s a 2 shot penalty per offence, so he had 18 shots on the 17th hole !!! Wrecked his card - in fairness he did apologise to me after he had calmed down
    Love those two stories and you tell them well.  I can picture 16, 17 and 18 at Woodlands as I read it. Think it was there I got my first sub 80 score and won the comp. Needed to par 18 for a 79. 

    I'm certain if you found the first guy's original ball then there's no debate, it's in play, whether he wanted to look for it / play it or not.  Was the pro in the car park big Phil? Gentle giant if I recall.  Lovely bloke, but not so hot at golf I was told. Think he used to go by the nickname of Kajagoogoo or similar because he was always stuck in the 80s. 

    Your thing reminds me of a similar, but reverse, situation I had at the London Club playing in a comp. 

    12th Tee shot on the Heritage, hit it longish and (I thought) over the trees on the right. Wasn't sure, so played a provisional which was fine. We go to find my first which my playing partner was convinced was in the trees about 30 yards short of where I thought it was. I tell him I think I hit it further, but he says I absolutely didn't to the extent I couldn't really argue (I'm a much gentler soul than your two partners at WM). 

    So I play the provisional and as we walk up the fairway there we see my original ball in the clear and roughly where I thought it was. I was fuming (inside)! Play poorly after that. 

    ...However, a few weeks later my brother and I get drawn against him and a mate in the latter stages of the pairs matchplay knock out thing. They take the lead, keep the lead and are really chipper the whole way round. 

    My brother's off 24 but is streaky. He can crunch it, but can thin it and doesn't do greenside bunkers at all.  He just doesn't show up and I'm playing them on my own (was off 9 which I had to be really at it to keep to) and I just can't compete.  They are 2 up with 4 to play and it's game over.

    Suddenly my brother finds it and wins 15 and 16. He drains a 40 footer on 17 for the half. You can see they feel cheated. My brother and I hit it straight down the middle on 18, and they are wobbling. They both hit their's into to the water and now it is game over!

    Grudging shake of hands and they walked off the 18th without speaking to us.
    We called him ‘Florida Phil’ as he was always in the 80’s !!!!

    Lovely guy - crap pro

    Now pro at The Addington near Croydon 
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    @Lordflashheart  - Where did you move to after Woodlands went bust?
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    dickad1 said:
    @Lordflashheart  - Where did you move to after Woodlands went bust?
    Nowhere - I fell out of love with golf about 2 years before it closed, and ceased being a member - I now play for fun, and go and play different places where I can - BUT with no handicap cert, it rules me out of the great courses - hey ho 

    But I am very very sad Woodlands closed - beautiful course - good challenge - lovely people - wanker who bought it and then shut it is an arsehole - it had a great club scene for ‘normal’ proper people - no golf snobs at Woodlands 

    IMO the 18th at Woodlands was one of the best par 3’s in England - amazing view of an area of OTNB and a postage stamp green to hit over a road - great memories 
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    I was a member at Woodlands Manor for many years, and my favourite memory is this

    Played in a singles comp, match play - at the turn I was 3 up and cruising, then I started to play pretty shit (story of my golfing life - never really converted a good 9 into a good 18) - by the par 5 16th it was all square, and I’m sweating a bit

    We both play decent tee shots, and he hit the ball a bit longer than me, so i play 2nd shot first, and I hit a half decent shot, but it goes right a bit into the rough 

    The green on that hole was in a dip, so you couldn’t tell if green was occupied or not - bloke I am playing says he is going for the green in 2, so I said I would walk down to my ball and tell him if it was clear - I get to my ball, green is clear, shout back that it’s ok to play

    He hits the ball and it flys off left into the woods - but I can see where it went, as it hit a branch and dropped straight down

    He shouts that he is playing a provisional, and drops one down and hits it to about 5 foot from the pin - he picks his bag up, and marches to the green - I quickly play my 3rd shot to just short of the green, and I walk towards him

    I say ‘I think I know where your ball that went in the woods is’, he says he is going to play his provisional - I said if we find the one in the woods, you have to play that ball, as you called a provisional - he disagrees, but I go over to the woods, and find his ball immediately, behind a tree trunk 

    After some heated debate, he agrees to play his first ball, but says he will speak to pro when we get back in, and if I am wrong, and I win the match, he wants a replay. - I agree, but know I am right

    He takes 4 shots to get out of woods, and only then gets onto fairway - then he thins his shot to green, and it ends up in the woods behind green - he gives me the hole - I am 1 up, with 2 to play, and he is no longer speaking to me - I crunch a drive up 17, and he is now like jelly on the tee - he slices his tee shot into a little copse on the right - takes 2 to get out, and then overclubs to the green - I get a bogey, win hole and match

    He refuses to play 18, so I play it on my own (loved 18 at Woodlands, what a view) - I walk back to clubhouse, and bloke I have played is having a row with the Pro in the car park, because he thinks I have cheated - he’s upset to learn that I hadn’t 

    That bloke never ever spoke to me again !!!

    Also in a medal once, I was marking a card of a new member playing off of 28 - he is having the round of his life, some pars, 2 birdies etc - towards the end of the round (I think it was 17) he hits his ball into the trees, and finds it, but it’s in ivy on the ground - he starts ripping up the ivy with his hands to get to the ball and have a shot, plays the ball, but it only moves a bit, and he repeats the ivy removal trick again, this happens 4 times in all, and he ends up with what he thinks is a 9 or 10 from memory (he was all over the place on this hole) - I tell him that I don’t know what he got on that hole, we will have to ask the pro at the end, because I don’t know if it’s a 1 or 2 shot penalty for moving live vegetation - he blows a gasket, even threatened to punch me (he would have been out cold if he had tried that) - go to see pro at the end - it’s a 2 shot penalty per offence, so he had 18 shots on the 17th hole !!! Wrecked his card - in fairness he did apologise to me after he had calmed down
    Not sure of the exact R&A rules but I thought he had a choice of just not looking for it. And even if he did he would have to identify it as his. I've known a few players adamantly suggest that they were now playing with a Srixon when all round they were playing a Titleist when an errant tee shot was found deep in the undergrowth.

    I remember that "cheater" Mickleson hit a wayward drive in the desert once & the ball was last seen heading down a ravine into some very nasty scrub land. He played another & shouted quiet loudly that he didnt want any of the spectators rushing off trying to find his original ball. 
    Sorry old chap, but the rules are very clear - if you don’t say provisional then your 2nd ball is in play - so if you then walk down the fairway and find your first shot (which you think was lost) is in play, tough - you declared that first ball gone by default

    But - if you call a provisional - or a Gerry Adam’s - then you give yourself the chance of finding your first and it’s playable, then you haven’t dropped 2 shots - happy days

    Also, the bloke tearing up ivy - well it’s his problem - the rules are clear - you can’t give advice to another player on the course - the rules dictate that you should know the rules - ignorance is not a defence - I would have been outside the rules by saying ‘you can’t do that’

    Harsh - but it’s the rules 
    Not arguing any of that, apart from saying do you HAVE to look for your first ball. In your situation your opponent hit a great provisional so why not just say "I'm declaring my first ball lost - I'm not going to even look for it- move on" . You've taken a stroke & distance penalty so hardly "cheating". I agree you should look for a "lost" ball, but do you HAVE to. Also, as the search time period had been cut to 3 mins (which is stupid imo - the pro's take longer just checking yardages and general fannying about) you may feel that its not worth the hassle. 

    My biggest bugbear when playing a corporate or society day as the amount of golfers who take "drops" from an unplayable lie or OOB and don't count the penalty drop. OOB especially, as many might take a 1 stroke penalty, so drop one by the OOB marker & play 3.......instead of playing it as their 4th shot. Many a time I've stood on a green and asked them "how many shots..?" and then have a conversation about not forgetting the penalty they incurred when they just took a drop out of a bush/ditch/pond etc.
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    Played Woodlands Manor whilst recovering from pneumonia. Thought that vertical par 3 was going to finish me off!
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    Dizzle said:
    Two three’s at Blake’s in Epping on 2nd April. 

    Looks like they have a little island par 3 like Sawgrass. Should be fun. I’ll take a snorkel. 
    Played it over Xmas - good course although that day it was So cold 
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    dickad1 said:
    @Lordflashheart  - Where did you move to after Woodlands went bust?
    Nowhere - I fell out of love with golf about 2 years before it closed, and ceased being a member - I now play for fun, and go and play different places where I can - BUT with no handicap cert, it rules me out of the great courses - hey ho 

    But I am very very sad Woodlands closed - beautiful course - good challenge - lovely people - wanker who bought it and then shut it is an arsehole - it had a great club scene for ‘normal’ proper people - no golf snobs at Woodlands 

    IMO the 18th at Woodlands was one of the best par 3’s in England - amazing view of an area of OTNB and a postage stamp green to hit over a road - great memories 

    Agree on that 18th. And the added challenge of the road and cars, although I think maybe it wasn't visible from the tee box, can't quite recall. Really hard green to hit too. 

    Used to like the very much longer (but similarly downhill) par 3 at Austin Lodge. The 8th I think it was. Those two courses are where I learned to play golf properly and competitively, in my early 30s, having hacked around Cray Valley as a youngster.

    Shame that neither WM or AL are around anymore. 
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    @Sillybilly
    holy Jesus mate!  That’s horrific! Wishing you the best possible recovery and stay positive.  A positive attitude can get you a long way 
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    I was a member at Woodlands Manor for many years, and my favourite memory is this

    Played in a singles comp, match play - at the turn I was 3 up and cruising, then I started to play pretty shit (story of my golfing life - never really converted a good 9 into a good 18) - by the par 5 16th it was all square, and I’m sweating a bit

    We both play decent tee shots, and he hit the ball a bit longer than me, so i play 2nd shot first, and I hit a half decent shot, but it goes right a bit into the rough 

    The green on that hole was in a dip, so you couldn’t tell if green was occupied or not - bloke I am playing says he is going for the green in 2, so I said I would walk down to my ball and tell him if it was clear - I get to my ball, green is clear, shout back that it’s ok to play

    He hits the ball and it flys off left into the woods - but I can see where it went, as it hit a branch and dropped straight down

    He shouts that he is playing a provisional, and drops one down and hits it to about 5 foot from the pin - he picks his bag up, and marches to the green - I quickly play my 3rd shot to just short of the green, and I walk towards him

    I say ‘I think I know where your ball that went in the woods is’, he says he is going to play his provisional - I said if we find the one in the woods, you have to play that ball, as you called a provisional - he disagrees, but I go over to the woods, and find his ball immediately, behind a tree trunk 

    After some heated debate, he agrees to play his first ball, but says he will speak to pro when we get back in, and if I am wrong, and I win the match, he wants a replay. - I agree, but know I am right

    He takes 4 shots to get out of woods, and only then gets onto fairway - then he thins his shot to green, and it ends up in the woods behind green - he gives me the hole - I am 1 up, with 2 to play, and he is no longer speaking to me - I crunch a drive up 17, and he is now like jelly on the tee - he slices his tee shot into a little copse on the right - takes 2 to get out, and then overclubs to the green - I get a bogey, win hole and match

    He refuses to play 18, so I play it on my own (loved 18 at Woodlands, what a view) - I walk back to clubhouse, and bloke I have played is having a row with the Pro in the car park, because he thinks I have cheated - he’s upset to learn that I hadn’t 

    That bloke never ever spoke to me again !!!

    Also in a medal once, I was marking a card of a new member playing off of 28 - he is having the round of his life, some pars, 2 birdies etc - towards the end of the round (I think it was 17) he hits his ball into the trees, and finds it, but it’s in ivy on the ground - he starts ripping up the ivy with his hands to get to the ball and have a shot, plays the ball, but it only moves a bit, and he repeats the ivy removal trick again, this happens 4 times in all, and he ends up with what he thinks is a 9 or 10 from memory (he was all over the place on this hole) - I tell him that I don’t know what he got on that hole, we will have to ask the pro at the end, because I don’t know if it’s a 1 or 2 shot penalty for moving live vegetation - he blows a gasket, even threatened to punch me (he would have been out cold if he had tried that) - go to see pro at the end - it’s a 2 shot penalty per offence, so he had 18 shots on the 17th hole !!! Wrecked his card - in fairness he did apologise to me after he had calmed down
    Not sure of the exact R&A rules but I thought he had a choice of just not looking for it. And even if he did he would have to identify it as his. I've known a few players adamantly suggest that they were now playing with a Srixon when all round they were playing a Titleist when an errant tee shot was found deep in the undergrowth.

    I remember that "cheater" Mickleson hit a wayward drive in the desert once & the ball was last seen heading down a ravine into some very nasty scrub land. He played another & shouted quiet loudly that he didnt want any of the spectators rushing off trying to find his original ball. 
    Sorry old chap, but the rules are very clear - if you don’t say provisional then your 2nd ball is in play - so if you then walk down the fairway and find your first shot (which you think was lost) is in play, tough - you declared that first ball gone by default

    But - if you call a provisional - or a Gerry Adam’s - then you give yourself the chance of finding your first and it’s playable, then you haven’t dropped 2 shots - happy days

    Also, the bloke tearing up ivy - well it’s his problem - the rules are clear - you can’t give advice to another player on the course - the rules dictate that you should know the rules - ignorance is not a defence - I would have been outside the rules by saying ‘you can’t do that’

    Harsh - but it’s the rules 
    Not arguing any of that, apart from saying do you HAVE to look for your first ball. In your situation your opponent hit a great provisional so why not just say "I'm declaring my first ball lost - I'm not going to even look for it- move on" . You've taken a stroke & distance penalty so hardly "cheating". I agree you should look for a "lost" ball, but do you HAVE to. Also, as the search time period had been cut to 3 mins (which is stupid imo - the pro's take longer just checking yardages and general fannying about) you may feel that its not worth the hassle. 

    My biggest bugbear when playing a corporate or society day as the amount of golfers who take "drops" from an unplayable lie or OOB and don't count the penalty drop. OOB especially, as many might take a 1 stroke penalty, so drop one by the OOB marker & play 3.......instead of playing it as their 4th shot. Many a time I've stood on a green and asked them "how many shots..?" and then have a conversation about not forgetting the penalty they incurred when they just took a drop out of a bush/ditch/pond etc.
    He didn’t have to look for his lost ball, agreed - but it was in my interest to look for his lost ball - I always asked my opponent to mark his ball properly with a pen, rather than rely on the type of ball / number on it I.e. if we found a Callaway Diablo 2, but it had his smiley face or whatever on it, then it was defo his ball - the incident I recounted was around 2008, so I don’t know of any rule changes since then - but I am pretty certain the provisional rule will not have changed, as it’s a clear risk or reward rule 

    But I totally agree on society / corporate days where people massively take the piss

    I was on a corporate day where a bloke in my 4 ball went to pick his ball up at the London Club on the fairway because it was next to a duck poo - what the fuck !!!
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    Played Woodlands Manor whilst recovering from pneumonia. Thought that vertical par 3 was going to finish me off!
    Played Woodlands Manor whilst recovering from pneumonia. Thought that vertical par 3 was going to finish me off!
    Not the best course to go and play in that condition old chap - there were much easier places to go !!!
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    Fucking hell @Sillybilly I'm so sorry to hear that mate
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    @Sillybilly - wow. 

    Hope your recovery goes well. 
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    Played Woodlands Manor whilst recovering from pneumonia. Thought that vertical par 3 was going to finish me off!
    Played Woodlands Manor whilst recovering from pneumonia. Thought that vertical par 3 was going to finish me off!
    Not the best course to go and play in that condition old chap - there were much easier places to go !!!
    Beaufort Park, nr Hastings. The 9th & 18th holes are killers. Uphill par 4's. Dont play if you have a heart condition !!
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    Good luck Sillybilly , tough times 
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    Thoughts are with you @Sillybilly
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    there is a near vertical uphill par 3 at Seaford head that is a lung buster
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    magic1999 said:
    there is a near vertical uphill par 3 at Seaford head that is a lung buster
    But is compensated for the final hole. Great downhill par 5. 
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    Damn @Sillybilly that’s some tale. Really hope your recovery goes well. Sending positive vibes.
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    Welcome back everyone!

    I reckon I’ll get to at least the third before muttering my first “f*** sake”
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    Welcome back everyone!

    I reckon I’ll get to at least the third before muttering my first “f*** sake”
    I’ve predicted the 2nd hole for me to loose my first ball 

    enjoy your round in the sunshine 
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