I want to assure 3blokes that he will be mentioned in dispatches, for his sterling work and dedication, and I hope you see this through to the bitter end.
Oh my days fuck.
Agreed. If there is indeed a decoration available, "Companion of the Bath, for services to the eradication of Belgian anal warts", then i hope Her Maj offers it up!
I want to assure 3blokes that he will be mentioned in dispatches, for his sterling work and dedication, and I hope you see this through to the bitter end.
Oh my days fuck.
Agreed. If there is indeed a decoration available, "Companion of the Bath, for services to the eradication of Belgian anal warts", then i hope Her Maj offers it up!
This morning The B.O is having an important meeting in his shed with the new super slim line management team of de kloob - one bloke and his dog. The B.O. looks at them both and gives a tut. “ Why have you brought that stupid thing along?” says the B.O, indignantly. “This is supposed to be a professional meeting!” “ Well, he needed a walk.” says the dog. The B.O gives them both a glare and then continues. “ Right, well, as you know those FUCKING BASTARDS won’t buy this shitty shit kloob that I hate, because they don’t understand anything about anything. The fact that it has taken them 14 months to not buy de kloob when I bought it in just 7 days tells you all you need to know about who is the fucking visionary round here and who is the complete fucking idiot, eh!” The man shuffles on one leg, but says nothing “ So....” continues the B.O. “ we need to be making savings, right across the board. And I, in typical fucking genius mode, have come up with some fantastic ways we can trim down expenses. And the first saving is on the pitch.” At this point, he turns to a flip chart, and points to a diagram. “ From now on, we’re going to have a rush goalie. The right back can simply be in goal too. That saves us a goalkeeper’s wages every week. Simple, but beautiful!” He says proudly. The man looks at the B.O. “ But your most esteemed Al Dente, that will probably mean we’ll lose every week!” He says with a deep bow. The B.O. looks at him blankly. “I don’t get it. What’s your point?” He says, with a frown. “ Oh....no it is nothing, oh wise Al Dente.” replies the man, hastily. “ Good.” Says the B.O. “ I am glad you spoke up there and said no by the way.. I cannot stand yes men.” “ Yes....I mean.... NO, oh wondrous Al Dente!” says the man hastily. “ Right, other savings.” continues the B.O. “ Now the crowds look like they might be smaller next season for some reason. I’ve no idea why. Perhaps someone has opened a dance class nearby, who knows. Anyway, so I have decided from now on we will just have the one turnstile open. In the East stand. Another brilliant cost cutter eh!” “ Oh yes....... that is indeed brilliant, Al Dente, but......how ....will people in the other stands..... get to their.... seats?” says the man. The B.O looks at him in disbelief. “ Well, they’ll just walk across the pitch to their shitty seats, you utter muppet!” says the B.O, with a derisive snort. At this point, Mrs B.O enters the shed and puts a cup down on the bench. The B.O looks at it in dismay. “ What’s this? Where’s my fucking coffee and my little amaretto biscuit!” He cries. Mrs. B.O looks at him with a grim little smile. “ It’s just part of all the cutbacks you’ve been demanding.” she says. “ From now on, you get a small lump of coal and a bowl of steam.” She turns to go, but looks back at the B.O. and says with a smile. “ Enjoy.” Well, let’s leave the B.O to indulge in his invigorating bowl of steam, and let’s all try to find some meaning and contentment in life’s simpler pleasures. Because he’s still here. Oh fuck...
Day 1542. Well, after last night, it’s a very happy thread that starts the day But of course it’s never a case of England Out, it’s only ever ROLAND OUT. And he’s still here. Oh Christ we finally won a penalty shoot out ( ) fuck...
Imagine SE7 It's easy if you try No underground pipes without a boiler system below us Us regularly on Sky Imagine all the people Going to a game Aha-ah...
Imagine there's no count thread It isn't hard to do Nothing to throw pigs on the pitch for And all protesting through Imagine all the people Singing VFR... You...
You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday we’ll be there And the Takeover will be done
Imagine 60%-80 possession and not just sideways with no plan No need for greed or hunger With more than 14 chips for every man ( and the women and kids, of course, don’t forget them) Imagine all the people Sharing Saturdays
You may say I'm a dreamer But who are you, my mum?! I hope someday we get there And the Takeover will be done.
Imagine SE7 It's easy if you try No underground pipes without a boiler system below us Us regularly on Sky Imagine all the people Going to a game Aha-ah...
Imagine there's no count thread It isn't hard to do Nothing to throw pigs on the pitch for And all protesting through Imagine all the people Singing VFR... You...
You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday we’ll be there And the Takeover will be done
Imagine 60%-80 possession and not just sideways with no plan No need for greed or hunger With more than 14 chips for every man ( and the women and kids, of course, don’t forget them) Imagine all the people Sharing Saturdays
You may say I'm a dreamer But who are you, my mum?! I hope someday we get there And the Takeover will be done.
Day 1550. Well, they nearly did it, they gave their all, no shame in that. Back to life, back to reality... cue the music. He’s still here. Oh FFS WHY fuck...
This morning in the shed, there is a presenter and studio panel to greet us.
Presenter : Hello and welcome. Well, today we invite 3 great thinkers of our time to discuss today’s current issues. And, uniquely, all 3 men have had the recent honour of having big balloons floated about the capital with their big fat faces on. So first, from across the pond, we have Donald F Blimp.
Blimp: Hi, I’m tremendous by the way. And the pond you mention is really big, it’s like the biggest pond ever. It’s tremendous. And we’re going to make it bigger, folks. Way bigger. Obummer never did that.
Presenter : By the way, what does the F in your name stand for?
Blimp : Fuckwit. It’s like a really old name from Scotland, which is where my family come from. Scotland. It’s this big golf course near the Mull of Hogmanay. You know that.
Presenter : Ok. Also, fresh from resigning from the cabinet to spend more time with his carefully mussed up hair we have Bore-arse ‘Roger’ Johnson
Bore- arse : F@@& business, you @%#$&! If you don’t f&@king like it, don’t f&@king come here! C&%ts!
Presenter: Thank you. And lastly, we have The B.O.
B.O : Yes, sorry can I just say, I don’t remember Bore-arse having his face on a big balloon?
Presenter : Well, he was actually left dangling on a string in a harness wearing a suit and hard hat, like a sort of fat stranded balloon, so we counted that.
( At this point Mrs B.O walks in with 3 bowls of steam for the guests and nearly trips over Ducktape, the family cat. Donald F Blimp lunges for it, to try to get it out the way. Mrs B.O looks at him)
Mrs. B.O : Please don’t grab my pussy like that.
Blimp: It’s ok. I’m famous. I can do that sort of thing. It’s fine. We’re people.
( Mrs B.O gives a tut and leaves)
Presenter: So, the Takeover. Is it a good deal?
B.O : I want to make a deal that bears no relation to reality and rewards me massively for my own stupidity!
Blimp: Hey, you’ve read my book! That’s the sort of deal I make all the time! I like this guy! You should be Prime Minister of England!
Bore-arse : Hey, you f&@king c&@t, you said I should be f&@king Prime Minister!
Blimp : Well, you can both be Prime Minister! Or you could be the King! I can get Vlad to sort it!
The B.O : I don’t need any help! I’m a visionary! I’ve got my own political party!
Blimp : It’s not as bigly as mine!
Bore-arse : You w&%kers talk all big and hard about your s**t parties but they can’t f&@king fight like mine! We’re f&@king at it all the f&@king time!!
(The three of them have a tussle and knock over several boxes of The B.O’s favourite collections of rivets, screws, nails, nuts and bolts. He stares looking the mayhem aghast)
The B.O : You bastards! Look what you’ve done!
( Donald F Blimp looks at the mess)
Blimp ( with a sniff) : Hmmph....that’s just fake screws.
Let’s leave it there with the B.O pulling at tango man’s flowing locks and Bore-arse ‘ Roger’ Johnson calling everyone a ‘c@@t’ as he sneaks a box of galvanised nails into his pocket. I need to get out more. He’s still here. Oh fuck....
Comments
AND
FUCKING HELL HE'S STILL HERE?
This morning The B.O is having an important meeting in his shed with the new super slim line management team of de kloob - one bloke and his dog.
The B.O. looks at them both and gives a tut.
“ Why have you brought that stupid thing along?” says the B.O, indignantly. “This is supposed to be a professional meeting!”
“ Well, he needed a walk.” says the dog.
The B.O gives them both a glare and then continues.
“ Right, well, as you know those FUCKING BASTARDS won’t buy this shitty shit kloob that I hate, because they don’t understand anything about anything. The fact that it has taken them 14 months to not buy de kloob when I bought it in just 7 days tells you all you need to know about who is the fucking visionary round here and who is the complete fucking idiot, eh!”
The man shuffles on one leg, but says nothing
“ So....” continues the B.O. “ we need to be making savings, right across the board. And I, in typical fucking genius mode, have come up with some fantastic ways we can trim down expenses. And the first saving is on the pitch.”
At this point, he turns to a flip chart, and points to a diagram.
“ From now on, we’re going to have a rush goalie. The right back can simply be in goal too. That saves us a goalkeeper’s wages every week. Simple, but beautiful!” He says proudly.
The man looks at the B.O.
“ But your most esteemed Al Dente, that will probably mean we’ll lose every week!” He says with a deep bow.
The B.O. looks at him blankly.
“I don’t get it. What’s your point?” He says, with a frown.
“ Oh....no it is nothing, oh wise Al Dente.” replies the man, hastily.
“ Good.” Says the B.O. “ I am glad you spoke up there and said no by the way.. I cannot stand yes men.”
“ Yes....I mean.... NO, oh wondrous Al Dente!” says the man hastily.
“ Right, other savings.” continues the B.O. “ Now the crowds look like they might be smaller next season for some reason. I’ve no idea why. Perhaps someone has opened a dance class nearby, who knows. Anyway, so I have decided from now on we will just have the one turnstile open. In the East stand. Another brilliant cost cutter eh!”
“ Oh yes....... that is indeed brilliant, Al Dente, but......how ....will people in the other stands..... get to their.... seats?” says the man.
The B.O looks at him in disbelief.
“ Well, they’ll just walk across the pitch to their shitty seats, you utter muppet!” says the B.O, with a derisive snort.
At this point, Mrs B.O enters the shed and puts a cup down on the bench.
The B.O looks at it in dismay.
“ What’s this? Where’s my fucking coffee and my little amaretto biscuit!” He cries.
Mrs. B.O looks at him with a grim little smile.
“ It’s just part of all the cutbacks you’ve been demanding.” she says. “ From now on, you get a small lump of coal and a bowl of steam.”
She turns to go, but looks back at the B.O. and says with a smile.
“ Enjoy.”
Well, let’s leave the B.O to indulge in his invigorating bowl of steam, and let’s all try to find some meaning and contentment in life’s simpler pleasures.
Because he’s still here.
Oh fuck...
3blokes is CL answer to Dostoyevsky.
Lucky there is no duck tape on his trainers as he would have gone arse over tit long ago.
He’s still here.
Oh fuck...
Come on England.
He’s still here.
Oh fuck...
Well, after last night, it’s a very happy thread that starts the day
But of course it’s never a case of England Out, it’s only ever ROLAND OUT.
And he’s still here.
Oh Christ we finally won a penalty shoot out (
He’s still here.
Oh why doesn’t he just fuck off fuck..
He’s still here.
Oh flaming fuck fuck...
Imagine
SE7
It's easy if you try
No underground pipes without a boiler system below us
Us regularly on Sky
Imagine all the people
Going to a game Aha-ah...
Imagine there's no count thread
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to throw pigs on the pitch for
And all protesting through
Imagine all the people
Singing VFR... You...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday we’ll be there
And the Takeover will be done
Imagine 60%-80 possession
and not just sideways with no plan
No need for greed or hunger
With more than 14 chips for every man ( and the women and kids, of course, don’t forget them)
Imagine all the people
Sharing Saturdays
You may say I'm a dreamer
But who are you, my mum?!
I hope someday we get there
And the Takeover will be done.
He’s still here.
Oh fuck...
(With acknowledgement to the lyrics of JL)
Quarter final fuck.
And with our luck, lose again!!
Question is, would Roland be watching a live feed? Or would he simply be in the Grand Café feeding his face?
He’s still here.
Oh fuck...
I wish he had informed the weather gods!
Oh boiling fuck (again).
Cracking advert for a shed on here btw
Anyway he’s still here.
Oh fuck...
He’s still here.
Oh come on England fuck...
Well, they nearly did it, they gave their all, no shame in that.
Back to life, back to reality... cue the music.
He’s still here.
Oh FFS WHY fuck...
He’s still here. Perhaps Donald Fuckwit Trump can sort it out
Oh fuck...
FUCK!
This morning in the shed, there is a presenter and studio panel to greet us.
Presenter : Hello and welcome. Well, today we invite 3 great thinkers of our time to discuss today’s current issues.
And, uniquely, all 3 men have had the recent honour of having big balloons floated about the capital with their big fat faces on.
So first, from across the pond, we have Donald F Blimp.
Blimp: Hi, I’m tremendous by the way. And the pond you mention is really big, it’s like the biggest pond ever. It’s tremendous. And we’re going to make it bigger, folks. Way bigger. Obummer never did that.
Presenter : By the way, what does the F in your name stand for?
Blimp : Fuckwit. It’s like a really old name from Scotland, which is where my family come from. Scotland. It’s this big golf course near the Mull of Hogmanay. You know that.
Presenter : Ok. Also, fresh from resigning from the cabinet to spend more time with his carefully mussed up hair we have Bore-arse ‘Roger’ Johnson
Bore- arse : F@@& business, you @%#$&! If you don’t f&@king like it, don’t f&@king come here! C&%ts!
Presenter: Thank you. And lastly, we have The B.O.
B.O : Yes, sorry can I just say, I don’t remember Bore-arse having his face on a big balloon?
Presenter : Well, he was actually left dangling on a string in a harness wearing a suit and hard hat, like a sort of fat stranded balloon, so we counted that.
( At this point Mrs B.O walks in with 3 bowls of steam for the guests and nearly trips over Ducktape, the family cat. Donald F Blimp lunges for it, to try to get it out the way. Mrs B.O looks at him)
Mrs. B.O : Please don’t grab my pussy like that.
Blimp: It’s ok. I’m famous. I can do that sort of thing. It’s fine. We’re people.
( Mrs B.O gives a tut and leaves)
Presenter: So, the Takeover. Is it a good deal?
B.O : I want to make a deal that bears no relation to reality and rewards me massively for my own stupidity!
Blimp: Hey, you’ve read my book! That’s the sort of deal I make all the time! I like this guy! You should be Prime Minister of England!
Bore-arse : Hey, you f&@king c&@t, you said I should be f&@king Prime Minister!
Blimp : Well, you can both be Prime Minister! Or you could be the King! I can get Vlad to sort it!
The B.O : I don’t need any help! I’m a visionary! I’ve got my own political party!
Blimp : It’s not as bigly as mine!
Bore-arse : You w&%kers talk all big and hard about your s**t parties but they can’t f&@king fight like mine! We’re f&@king at it all the f&@king time!!
(The three of them have a tussle and knock over several boxes of The B.O’s favourite collections of rivets, screws, nails, nuts and bolts. He stares looking the mayhem aghast)
The B.O : You bastards! Look what you’ve done!
( Donald F Blimp looks at the mess)
Blimp ( with a sniff) : Hmmph....that’s just fake screws.
Let’s leave it there with the B.O pulling at tango man’s flowing locks and Bore-arse ‘ Roger’ Johnson calling everyone a ‘c@@t’ as he sneaks a box of galvanised nails into his pocket.
I need to get out more.
He’s still here.
Oh fuck....