with a packet of Chipsticks, I'll hold each one horizontal to my mouth and gradually push it in with my index finger while nibbling up and down. best with salt and vinegar because you get the taste on your lips.
Any small chocolates like maltesers or minstrels etc have to be eaten in twos. If there is an odd one left at the end and nobody wants it/nobody is around then it's thrown away. Obviously.
Eat the chocolate from around the edges of dime bars, Bounty, Turkish delight and chunky kitkats.
Separate the various layers on a millionaires shortbread. Eat the chocolate layer first, then the toffee goo and then the biscuit.
I put Hula Hoops / Ringos on the fingers of my left hand and then eat them a finger at a time (Ive found that I can get a maximum of four Ringos per finger because they are a bit podgy, ironically if I didnt eat so many Ringos and Hula Hoops my fingers would be thinner and I could fit more on)
My nephew also eats one thing off a plate at a time (ie roast dinner- all peas first, then all carrots, all the potatoes, then the parsnips then all the meat). He has always done this from childhood and so regretably we ended up getting him certified. We still visit him on occasions though.
I save the thing I like the most until last, so if it's a roast, veg, potatoes and then the meat
I also have the same thing for lunch everyday, without fail. 2 chicken and spinach sandwiches, 2 bags of McCoys cheddar and onion and flaming steak, and then a bag of chicken nuggets from tesco hot food counter
Anyone who eats a Jaffa cake by just biting it in half and then eating the other half has got problems.
Bounty bars need to have all the chocolate bitten off before devouring the coconut centre.
One of my favourite desserts is Bakewell tart (not the small cherry topped ones, the larger type with brown and white icing on) cut up into chunks. This is then marinated with evaporated milk for 10 mins. Amazing.
Condensed milk out of the tin, or in a sandwich- very healthy!
Peanut M&Ms (BTW really hate their "get in the bowl" adverts, especially the one where the lazy bag says "I could really do with a snack" when shes just 5ft from the bloody cupboard where theyre kept, I mean get of your arse FFS, I mean what did your last slave die off.!!!!... sorry I digress, but it makes me soooooo maddd) remove the shell/choc in mouth, and eat peanut separately.
Toblerone - eat the chocolate and gob what's left of that sticky crud into the nearest available recepticle Tunnocks TeaCakes - eat the choc off the top, bite off the marshmallow and gob into nearest appropriate recepticle, enjoy sublime choc covered biscuit base Haribo - chemically coloured rubber, gob the whole lot the feck away
Toblerone - eat the chocolate and gob what's left of that sticky crud into the nearest available recepticle Tunnocks TeaCakes - eat the choc off the top, bite off the marshmallow and gob into nearest appropriate recepticle, enjoy sublime choc covered biscuit base
Guy goes to the doctor with a mars bar stuck in his ear and a strawberry up his nose. Doctor says "well, you can start by eating a little more sensibly".
When I was a kid and my Mum cooked sausages I would always ask for a raw sausage from which I could squeeze the meat out of and eat. I met one other person who did this but she was northern.
When I was a kid, I'd get two slices of bread together, eat the outside crust then squash the remainder into a ball before eating it. Still do it every now and then (normally after coming home from the pub)
I know an old man of 83 (Middlesborough fan) who has no teeth. He couldn't get on with his false teeth so he never bothered. He can eat an apple, steak ...... no problem. He also doesn't need glasses.
Comments
If there is an odd one left at the end and nobody wants it/nobody is around then it's thrown away. Obviously.
Separate the various layers on a millionaires shortbread. Eat the chocolate layer first, then the toffee goo and then the biscuit.
I put Hula Hoops / Ringos on the fingers of my left hand and then eat them a finger at a time (Ive found that I can get a maximum of four Ringos per finger because they are a bit podgy, ironically if I didnt eat so many Ringos and Hula Hoops my fingers would be thinner and I could fit more on)
My nephew also eats one thing off a plate at a time (ie roast dinner- all peas first, then all carrots, all the potatoes, then the parsnips then all the meat). He has always done this from childhood and so regretably we ended up getting him certified. We still visit him on occasions though.
I eat a whole packet of fish sticks with salad creme and pepper.
I have to put my finger through the corner of monster munch and eat it straight from the finger.
First sign of a psycho, that.
Bounty bars need to have all the chocolate bitten off before devouring the coconut centre.
One of my favourite desserts is Bakewell tart (not the small cherry topped ones, the larger type with brown and white icing on) cut up into chunks. This is then marinated with evaporated milk for 10 mins. Amazing.
Everything about me says 'Thinner'
Peanut M&Ms (BTW really hate their "get in the bowl" adverts, especially the one where the lazy bag says "I could really do with a snack" when shes just 5ft from the bloody cupboard where theyre kept, I mean get of your arse FFS, I mean what did your last slave die off.!!!!... sorry I digress, but it makes me soooooo maddd) remove the shell/choc in mouth, and eat peanut separately.
Tunnocks TeaCakes - eat the choc off the top, bite off the marshmallow and gob into nearest appropriate recepticle, enjoy sublime choc covered biscuit base
Haribo - chemically coloured rubber, gob the whole lot the feck away
I thank you.