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A Bonkers Statement from Club - the infamous {...} one

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    Statement now safely relegated off the main news page on the OS
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    I'm sure it will be in the Brum programme for the wider fan base to see......Yeah right.
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    Succotash said:


    Dear Fans,

    Last Tuesday, an old man who does not come to The Valley to watch and support the team, but wrote to create disorder, between fans, on the pitch and to interfere with managers and players. Disorder which is, allegedly, needed to drive change in the world game of soccer to his vision.

    Whom did he expect would accept his vague vision? How long would he take to explain and convince someone with a gram of football knowledge to go along with his nonsense? Is it easier for the old man’s daft ideas to work than it is to recreate a pig from a pulled pork bap. Did anyone know Alan Turing? The old man is no Alan Turing.

    This old man and his carers seem to want the club to succeed. This is a confused approach, since following this logic leads to exactly the opposite of what we all want: the old man and his carers leaving the club. It’s confused in a confusing way that only causes confusion.

    But let us give the old man his due.
    Allegations regarding the old man’s carers are misrepresented* and are continuously used as a method to “misinterpretate” © , to say they promote vacuous objectives in place of strategy and that he, the old man, has a method to employ individuals beyond their experience and skills fuelling craven loyalty and cultish adherence risking the future of the club through nose- lengthening mendacity.

    Although everyone involved knows nothing happened in recent weeks the old man, Wally Duckshit, said he has met fans and his carer in chief has visited the Greenwich Fan Museum and watches fans from behind the Boardroom blinds and Comms team have helped a fan find an alternative snack shack in Harvey Gardens on more than one occasion. All parties involved will continue refusing the tablets to allow this constructive delusion to continue. (where’s Mel? KM)
    . We have 9 events left for the old man to avoid when coming to the Valley in which we have to get 6 points. With two points for a win and five for a red card we could achieve this and all have an early summer.

    The team only got 7 points out of 3 games.

    We still have the chance to make it happen with the support of the fans fueling personal abuse and threatening personal safety we can get those red card points until the very last game. We must believe it is still possible. Every football fan knows that if we can play with 12 men on the pitch it is a crucial factor in the success on the pitch even if two get sent off.

    Ja, dit stukje! Zet het ook!!!!!.
    *I think the difference is also because fans don't see themselves as customers and {…} they go to the restaurants with their families every week and they go to the cinema but if they aren't satisfied with the product will they go and scream to the people in charge of it? Of course they do. I had a mouse in a pasty once.

    and I can’t {…} stand it when Clint Eastwood{…….} speaks. with a football club it's very weird (meaning weird) because they feel they could point like Reza and know more than K Fraeye that's a really difficult balance of how you try and engage with fans when deliberately bringing in incompetents and make them, incorporated into some of the decisions of the club, {…}. like reducing chip holder tray size and introduce tisanes for refreshment experience
    Read more at http://www.cafc.co.uk/news/article/statement-wallyduckshit
    3009419.aspx#3Qr13o6IlfKlQBED.99

    Even when it is in jest, the word "Soccer" makes me want to kill people.
    So, all we need do is arrange for a recording of Roly saying the "S" word, a selection of blunt instruments (and I don't mean network coaches), and a certain Belgian visionary tied to a chair in a basement, and we're sorted....

    Seems the problem to all our solutions, from where I'm sitting.
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    wow
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    Fantastic!
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    Christ, that presenter is bloody fit!
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    boggzy said:

    Christ, that presenter is bloody fit!

    I hear she's got a very impressive VO2 max.

    Apparently, she works out, probably explains it, though that said, not a lot of men would notice (what with being interested in higher things, personality and that kind of stuff)....
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    edited March 2016
    boggzy said:

    Christ, that presenter is bloody fit!

    @Oakster is a particular fan of Ms Bonnetta.
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    Does anyone know which fans, RD has met with in recent weeks - as mentioned in the statement ?
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    Blimey don't let RD see the vid of ms Bonnetta he will want to recruit her to take over from KM!
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    Sam lloyd said:
    @Pico. You are now a coast-to - coast celeb. Expect the offers to come pouring in...

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    I don't think the fans are confused, I think they know exactly what they want 'Get out of our club, get out of our club, you Belgian wankers get out of our club.'

    Fantastic editing.
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    At least one club's on the ball tonight with it's comms
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    Dazzler21 said:

    This club has SERIOUSLY affected my productivity at work this week. It's gone from being new developments every day to practically every hour!

    Same here.

    Think I need to take some time away from CL.... How many weeks til the end of season?
    I'll give £50 to the Upbeats if you can stay off here for 48 hours continuous.
    No cheating, no using someone else's name.
    48 hours.
    Anyone know how @Dazzler21 is..... ?☺
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    It does make me chuckle how what Katrien said about customers has been spun widely out of context - and now Roland has come in to explain the context of what she said and now what he has said has been further spun out of context!

    Because she did compare us to customers, and it has been backed up with an explanation that is telling us weird means unique - I may not have a degree in English but I certainly know what weird means and it's not unique, whether he's fluent in English or not if he's trying to explain something he has to do so correctly.

    Proof of the pudding is Katrien is trying to sell us a UNIQUE matchday experience at Charlton. Now according to them both, or atleast Roland, she is trying to sell us a weird matchday experience.

    Hmm..
    I do have a degree in English (language and literature) and can confirm that weird does not mean unique.
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    Good to hear, I have a degree in materials science and engineering and I can also confirm that wierd does not in any way mean the same as unique.
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    I don't think the fans are confused, I think they know exactly what they want 'Get out of our club, get out of our club, you Belgian wankers get out of our club.'

    Fantastic editing.

    The Daily mail on line journo was the one who said the swearing was the issue, and so much of it would have to be edited ! Yet the Americans just find it Quaint !
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    edited March 2016
    "wanker" doesn't register as offensive in US English - means this business can have some fun: http://wankersstore.com (entirely safe for work)

    Think some episodes of the Simpsons have had the word cut out for UK broadcast.
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    Thanks jeff...douchyboy speaks the same language it seems
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    My son knows that wierd means odd/not understood (normally pejorative) unique means one of a kind/different (normally positive).

    Katrien also knows this.

    There is nothing lost in translation with squirrel face's English.

    It is more or less fluent, her hesitating when in the fans/employees meetings is through nerves.

    I would not he surprised if she has more qualifications in English than many of us.
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    Dave2l said:

    Thanks jeff...douchyboy speaks the same language it seems

    The "can't" part looks funny.
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    My son knows that wierd means odd/not understood (normally pejorative) unique means one of a kind/different (normally positive).

    Katrien also knows this.

    There is nothing lost in translation with squirrel face's English.

    It is more or less fluent, her hesitating when in the fans/employees meetings is through nerves.

    I would not he surprised if she has more qualifications in English than many of us.
    If she's got any at all, it would be more than me.
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    It does make me chuckle how what Katrien said about customers has been spun widely out of context - and now Roland has come in to explain the context of what she said and now what he has said has been further spun out of context!

    Because she did compare us to customers, and it has been backed up with an explanation that is telling us weird means unique - I may not have a degree in English but I certainly know what weird means and it's not unique, whether he's fluent in English or not if he's trying to explain something he has to do so correctly.

    Proof of the pudding is Katrien is trying to sell us a UNIQUE matchday experience at Charlton. Now according to them both, or atleast Roland, she is trying to sell us a weird matchday experience.

    Hmm..
    I do have a degree in English (language and literature) and can confirm that weird does not mean unique.
    I also have a degree in English and History and 'weird' does not mean 'unique'. (Yet nowhere near as eloquent as some of our posters on here!) However, why didn't she just apologise at the time and explain it was an mistake? I guess, because she really did mean the fans' feelings towards the club are weird. When in a hole, don't keep digging! She must have reached the centre of the earth by now!
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Roland Out Forever!