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You know you're getting old when.

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  • muppetman said:
    delroofer said:
    You decide to finally retire after 42+ years of running your own roofing business. Will have to change my user name to Deldunroofin'.
    After 42 years you deserve a night out on the tiles!  ;)
    And put the drinks on the slate.....
  • You spend hours wondering whether it’s the green bin or the brown bin the next day and get annoyed your neighbours haven’t put theirs out yet to give you a steer
    Just put a reminder on your phone.
  • edited September 2019
    Davo55 said:
    muppetman said:
    delroofer said:
    You decide to finally retire after 42+ years of running your own roofing business. Will have to change my user name to Deldunroofin'.
    After 42 years you deserve a night out on the tiles!  ;)
    And put the drinks on the slate.....
    you need to pitch these jokes a bit higher to get a LOL

    They are a bit flat at the moment.
  • when you see that snickers advert and think the Elton John bit was better
  • When Scotland get thumped and it doesn’t surprise you.
  • You know when you are old when you remember ladies wearing stockings was no big deal.
  • You know when you are old when you remember ladies wearing stockings was no big deal.
    I always thought it was a big deal, and I'm old!

  • You get the hump when they start selling mince pies in Sainsbury’s in September 
  • When you have to time your run to the lavi to perfection or you end up cleaning up yourself in the shower afterwards. 
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  • shine166 said:
    You spend monday morning at the doctors with a finger up your arse. 
    @ricky_otto does not use a doctor.
  • Wearing glasses becomes the norm rather than the exception. I used to need them for driving and reading; twice this week I've used them to see what I'm having for dinner. 
  • edited September 2019
    You don't know how you got your aches and pains. I used to have three recurring twinges. I was so certain how I got them that I gave them names: My Footballers Knee, caused by falling awkwardly and damaging a ligament, my Spanish Elbow caused by spanking it at the bottom of a waterslide and chipping a bone and my Motorbike Shoulder caused by injudicious use of the front brake. Nowadays I get so many aches and pains at random points on my body with no obvious cause that I'd need a binomial classification system to give them all a handle. 
  • Stig said:
    You don't know how you got your aches and pains. I used to have three recurring twinges. I was so certain how I got them that I gave them names: My Footballers Knee, caused by falling awkwardly and damaging a ligament, my Spanish Elbow caused by spanking it at the bottom of a waterslide and chipping a bone and my Motorbike Shoulder caused by injudicious use of the front brake. Nowadays I get so many aches and pains at random points on my body with no obvious cause that I'd need a binomial classification system to give them all a handle. 

    No wa*kers wrist?
  • Stig said:
    You don't know how you got your aches and pains. I used to have three recurring twinges. I was so certain how I got them that I gave them names: My Footballers Knee, caused by falling awkwardly and damaging a ligament, my Spanish Elbow caused by spanking it at the bottom of a waterslide and chipping a bone and my Motorbike Shoulder caused by injudicious use of the front brake. Nowadays I get so many aches and pains at random points on my body with no obvious cause that I'd need a binomial classification system to give them all a handle. 

    No wa*kers wrist?
    No......but he’s working on it.
  • Stig said:
    You don't know how you got your aches and pains. I used to have three recurring twinges. I was so certain how I got them that I gave them names: My Footballers Knee, caused by falling awkwardly and damaging a ligament, my Spanish Elbow caused by spanking it at the bottom of a waterslide and chipping a bone and my Motorbike Shoulder caused by injudicious use of the front brake. Nowadays I get so many aches and pains at random points on my body with no obvious cause that I'd need a binomial classification system to give them all a handle. 

    No wa*kers wrist?
    By sitting on my hand I can pretend someone else has got a pain in it.
  • I've got World Cup knee.
    England scored and I celebrated by jumping up and hanging from one of the iron roof strut in O'Neill's Bromley.
    When I dropped it smarted a bit a and has never been the same since.

  • When you become eligible for free prescriptions .
  • When you become eligible for free prescriptions .
    And you need them  :)
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  • ... compared to you, Darren Stevens is a mere boy 
  • You spend hours wondering whether it’s the green bin or the brown bin the next day and get annoyed your neighbours haven’t put theirs out yet to give you a steer
    Just put a reminder on your phone.
    The wife has put a reminder on the phone, but it keeps falling off.
  • When the man in the garage says , can you open the bonnet and you’ve no idea where the catch is .
  • When you need different glasses for reading and distance.

    When you put your glasses down for a moment, forget where and can't see well enough to find them. Then realise you pushed them up on to the top of your head.
  • You go in a pub get funny looks when you ask for a glass with your bottle of beer.  You just get a blank look when you ask for a whisky mac.
  • You go in a pub get funny looks when you ask for a glass with your bottle of beer.  You just get a blank look when you ask for a whisky mac.
    Or a light and bitter.
  • You only know three artists on the shortlist for the Mercury music prize. 
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