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Funny things that kids say!

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  • Lucky escape there then, you could have ended up supporting the Wall.
  • iaitch said:
    Lucky escape there then, you could have ended up supporting the Wall.
    My Dad would never have allowed that - it was always going to be Charlton - first took me in ‘76

    No idea who we were playing, but if you look at the thread about the South Terrace, I recount my experience that day in relation to the toilets.....
  • My six year old girl said to me the other day:

    I want to be a lollipop man when I'm an adult............but if not a doctor.
  • My wife took our 3 year old daughter to a doctors appointment a few weeks ago.

    In her loudest voice our daughter asked “what colour will the doctor be? A black one or white one?”.
  • Daddy could I have a tenner for a joint?   sorry please. 
  • Any child in London: "I'm going to live in a nice house when I grow up".
  • Back in 2013, when my daughter was three years old, we went to Woolworths (Aussie supermarket like Tesco).
    In her loudest voice, she pointed at a Disney DVD and yelled: Dad, can you download this, when we get home?
    Got a few funny looks.
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  • Danepak said:
    Was watching Scotland v Denmark and the referee was about to do the coin toss before the game.

    My youngest daughter asks: ‘Is he’s about to do a magic trick?’
    He must have done for Scotland to have won ;)
  • cafcfan said:
    These are courtesy of my great-nephew Henry.  He's eight.

    Some background to this one, he lives in Northern Ireland so it's plausible. At school: Teacher "What did you do over the weekend?"  Henry: "I went to visit the dead people buried in our garden". (A subsequent visit from the police ascertained that he was talking about the long barrows which are an ancient monument in their field.)

    At school: Teacher "Where did you get that bruise on your face Henry?" Henry: "Daddy hit me with a piece of wood."
    (A subsequent visit from Social Services ascertained that Daddy had been carrying firewood indoors and Henry ran round the corner straight into him.)

    And, finally, during a rain break drawing pictures in the caravan. My sister: "What's that you've drawn Henry?" Henry: "It's me". My sister: "What are those long streaks coming out of your nose?" Henry: "Hair". My sister: "You haven't got nasal hair like that". Henry: "No, but Uncle cafcfan has and I want some."
    Sounds like your great nephew’s school need to sort their systems out if they’re sending Police and social services round without doing due diligence in house first.
    😳
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  • In the early days of mobiles I remember my mates little girl interrupting to ask " Mummy when you die can I have your phone?" Mum was mortified/embarrassed -  I cried for hours. 
  • My second year of Reading dog and I had been reminded the following week the children would be allowed to bring a book in from home. 
    It would make a nice change from “Biff and Chip” I thought…..
    the following week all was going well when a year six lad came along and started to read, basically the children in the book were arguing and their dad was breaking up the squabble.

    suddenly the lad stopped reading and said I don’t think I’m allowed to say that word…..
    looking down the sentence read…..


    “Alex if you continue acting the silly bugger and don’t play nicely with your brother I’ll take the football off you and you’ll both go to your room……

    Congratulating the lad on recognising a bad word I told him to continue to the next page, which he did and continued reading, which he did……..

    “Alex and Peter went to their room, Alex slamming the bedroom said angrily “If he thinks he’s taking my ball off me, I’ll stick it up his big fat hairy arse! 

    Immediately stopping the group I asked the lad to show me the book and return to his class while I had a read, laughing inside that he found it inappropriate to say bugger but happily said I’ll stick it up his big fat hairy arse.
    it seems the lad had brought his older brothers Viz type book which from the outside looked like an innocent child’s early reading book. 

    The children now have to report to Mrs when bringing in books from home! 😂
  • I was reminded the other day of my youngest son, when aged about 3, referring to ‘popcorn’ as ‘c*ck p*rn’. No idea where that came from but  after that popcorn was never on the menu for the kids when friends were around.
    My mates little un used to do something similar, when he was about 2 and had a toy farm.

    What's this Harry?
     Whore!
    And where does a horse live?
     Whore house!!
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