Me: What did Macron say then? Wife (disappointed): He didn't talk about the subject I wanted to know about. Me: Oh, well, what did he talk about? Wife: Just politics.
I then added, laughing: 'Well, he's hardly going to talk about a trip to the beach,' and she got the hump and went out on her bike leaving her lunch uneaten.
Just got in car, about to pull out of the supermarket car park -
Mrs - "We need to go to the first aid point" Me - "Why what's up?" Mrs - "We've got a load of clothes to drop off" Me- " Do you mean the Red Croos clothes bank?" Mrs - "Yes" Me - *shakes head for 2 hours*
Just remembered this one, was a while ago now but this is the general theme of the conversation - to set the scene my GF must have some kind of intolerance to heavy bready type foods and being Irish she obviously just chowed down on a massive lunch of fried potato and soda bread despite this, as a result she's half comatose on the sofa with a bloated stomach, then she says, pointing at it:
Her: "Look at this, I'm like one of the kids in Africa on the charity adverts!" Me: Well they're in a slightly different situation don't ya think... Her: True, theirs is from rice rather than bread. Me: What? Her: From all the rice Me: What?? Her: They're bloating from eating all the rice - like with Pigeons Me: Her: What? Me: That is not what is happening! Their stomach bloats because they're literally starving... not because they've gorged on rice?!?!
She's not normally that thick but this was a real standout moment for her
Me: Shall we have the other half of that cherry pie tonight Her: Yes I'll get it out of the fridge so it's not so cold Me: But you're warming it up anyway! Her: Oh yeh! (and puts it back in the fridge)
Me: Hey can you mix up the baby milk? 5 minutes later Me: Hey can I have the baby milk? 2-3 mins later Me: Hello? Baby Milk please? Her: I'm busy give me a second. Me: Okay I'll grab it in a minute. 5 mins later Me: Can you watch the baby while I get the milk from downstairs? Her: I haven't made it yet I was on whatsapp Me:
Mrs - "Shall make a cake for the following couple of days"
Me - "Yes, that sould be nice"
Mrs - "Okay, I'll use up these old bananas and make a banana loaf"
Me - "FFS"
Well, isn't a banana loaf a sort of cake.....like a loaf cake ?
Yeah, not questioning that necessarily. Just that when someone says the word "cake" to me, it conjures up things like chocolate sponge, coffee cake, lemon drizzle cake etc., not something made out of old bananas
Mrs - "Shall make a cake for the following couple of days"
Me - "Yes, that sould be nice"
Mrs - "Okay, I'll use up these old bananas and make a banana loaf"
Me - "FFS"
Well, isn't a banana loaf a sort of cake.....like a loaf cake ?
Yeah, not questioning that necessarily. Just that when someone says the word "cake" to me, it conjures up things like chocolate sponge, coffee cake, lemon drizzle cake etc., not something made out of old bananas
Came home yesterday and the missus had been doing home schooling with the kids about continents.
Me to the missus: Right, what are they then? Her: well Europe, South Africa Me: close but no. Her: East Anglia Me: Pardon Her :East Anglia Me: (trying my hardest not to be rude) no East Anglia is not a continent. Her: Yes it is. Me: its definitely not, Her: Yes it is, they said so on her presentation. Me: (absolutely pissing myself now) prove it.
5 mins later after turning the laptop on and logging into Google classrooms.
One thing women don't understand about men seems to me to be our ability to focus on one thing and edit everything out. So for instance, I can watch a football game and my wife can talk to me and I hear and acknowledge but when a dangerous move develops, I shut other things out subconsciously.
Then I get the, are you ignoring me moan. I have tried to explain this so many times but she still doesn't get it.
Comments
Me: What did Macron say then?
Wife (disappointed): He didn't talk about the subject I wanted to know about.
Me: Oh, well, what did he talk about?
Wife: Just politics.
I then added, laughing: 'Well, he's hardly going to talk about a trip to the beach,' and she got the hump and went out on her bike leaving her lunch uneaten.
Mrs - "We need to go to the first aid point"
Me - "Why what's up?"
Mrs - "We've got a load of clothes to drop off"
Me- " Do you mean the Red Croos clothes bank?"
Mrs - "Yes"
Me - *shakes head for 2 hours*
Her: "Look at this, I'm like one of the kids in Africa on the charity adverts!"
Me: Well they're in a slightly different situation don't ya think...
Her: True, theirs is from rice rather than bread.
Me: What?
Her: From all the rice
Me: What??
Her: They're bloating from eating all the rice - like with Pigeons
Me:
Her: What?
Me: That is not what is happening! Their stomach bloats because they're literally starving... not because they've gorged on rice?!?!
She's not normally that thick but this was a real standout moment for her
Her: Yes I'll get it out of the fridge so it's not so cold
Me: But you're warming it up anyway!
Her: Oh yeh! (and puts it back in the fridge)
Wtf!
Wife: Oh is it raining out there
Wife: (Looks out the window), oh its really raining isnt it
Yes luv, I havent just been hosed down for the fun of it
Me - "Yes, that sould be nice"
Mrs - "Okay, I'll use up these old bananas and make a banana loaf"
Me - "FFS"
5 minutes later
Me: Hey can I have the baby milk?
2-3 mins later
Me: Hello? Baby Milk please?
Her: I'm busy give me a second.
Me: Okay I'll grab it in a minute.
5 mins later
Me: Can you watch the baby while I get the milk from downstairs?
Her: I haven't made it yet I was on whatsapp
Me:
We know I'd be killed for doing the same!
Me to the missus: Right, what are they then?
Her: well Europe, South Africa
Me: close but no.
Her: East Anglia
Me: Pardon
Her :East Anglia
Me: (trying my hardest not to be rude) no East Anglia is not a continent.
Her: Yes it is.
Me: its definitely not,
Her: Yes it is, they said so on her presentation.
Me: (absolutely pissing myself now) prove it.
5 mins later after turning the laptop on and logging into Google classrooms.
Her: ohh North America I meant.
https://cookandeatbetter.wordpress.com/2010/02/21/recipe-box-banana-cake-vs-banana-bread/
I love this thread 🤣🤣
Ooops sorry thought this was the things women don't say thread.
I googled her and said "She's Canadian"
"Yeah., she looks Canadian" Seriously wtf?
Messages me in a panic asking if she's left it at home, nope cant find it here... Finally found on the floor of her car under the childseat
Her: I know, I'm an idiot
Me: Yup, not even going to argue with you over that
Her: Oi
Proof that even when we DONT argue with them, we still cant win!!
Then I get the, are you ignoring me moan. I have tried to explain this so many times but she still doesn't get it.