I know so many men who are married or cohabiting and are always trying to pull other women on a night out! If they had a good marriage then surely they wouldn't be trying to pull other women?
I'm currently on my second divorce, so may be in a position to judge...............marriage isn't a problem and if you love each other I can't see why you shouldsn't get married instead of just living together - the main problem is if you have kids and then want to get divorced............then its a nightmare !!!!!
[cite]Davy said[/cite]I know so many men who are married or cohabiting and are always trying to pull other women on a night out! If they had a good marriage then surely they wouldn't be trying to pull other women?
Never understand why the majority of people get married.
Is it not the basis of a religious exchange of vows, and to have children, and to bring them up in a christian faith. ' Or the non belivers getting married in Woolwich town hall!, the most ' unromantic' setting you can think of!.......akin to the car park in Asda Bexleyheath!.
Virtually all my friends and family members have got divorced,/seperated, except for the ones that have 'shacked up'.
Been married 3 and a half months, gotta say us guys have it easy. The mrs is still working her way through the list of things she has to change her name for, think last week marked the 'half way'. Meanwhile i've been spending my spare time on football manager, lol......so its going well.
The only thing I can add is that if you do tie the knot, then make sure the wedding day is yours and nobody else's - If you want to get married in Vegas but your parents/relatives object, well feck them. It's your day!
[cite]Posted By: BDL[/cite]The only thing I can add is that if you do tie the knot, then make sure the wedding day is yours and nobody else's - If you want to get married in Vegas but your parents/relatives object, well feck them. It's your day!
SPOT ON!!! We went abroad and got married on a beach at sunset, because that was what we wanted!
We made it clear that it was just the two of us, we had two randoms as witnesses and loved every minute, some people were none to pleased but i really really didnt care, don't regret any of it and would plead with anyone getting married to do what you want and tell everyone else (family, friends etc) to jog on.
Had been with my girlfriend 6 and a half very happy years when we got married in Cyprus last summer. Dream wedding, dream party back home, about to buy a house, happy ever after..................... then July just gone, she leaves me just like that, with no real decent reason, after 11 months of marriage. Still in shock and devestated now (probably one of the reasons I have not seen CAFC once this season - just got no interest at the moment), as are all our family and friends.
So currently I have not got a high opinion of it, ecspecially the cost of it now a days. i always said i could live with the cost as it will only happen once. how wrong i was. That said both our parents had been happily married for over 30 years, so it can and does work.
I agree with the chemical reaction bit in the earlier posts,my second ex wife put 4 stone on in first year(size 12 to 20!) and the lad that said that at first they like your mates and love you playing cricket all day Saturday etc and you finish up a zombie pushing a trolley round Tescos is spot on.Just suck the life out of you and your wallet.Then you break free and go looking for your old mates and they are zombiefied on the shopping trolley run! The cost of the wedding is a con and Bexleyheath ASDAs carpark in a former life,to gentlemen of a certain age that attended Bexleyheath School was a place that traditionally held the after school punch ups,perfect place for a wedding!! As you will have probably guessed Im not in a hurry for a third Mrs!
[cite]Posted By: BDL[/cite]The only thing I can add is that if you do tie the knot, then make sure the wedding day is yours and nobody else's - If you want to get married in Vegas but your parents/relatives object, well feck them. It's your day!
SPOT ON!!! We went abroad and got married on a beach at sunset, because that was what we wanted!
We made it clear that it was just the two of us, we had two randoms as witnesses and loved every minute, some people were none to pleased but i really really didnt care, don't regret any of it and would plead with anyone getting married to do what you want and tell everyone else (family, friends etc) to jog on.
We didn't. Although it was a fantastic day, it was just an excuse for everybody to have a p*ss up at our expense. So much money blown on something that only lasts a day.
10k + on one day? I have never understood the logic. But would never question those that do.
15 years ago, Sidcup registry office just us & two witnesses. Then off for a nice meal & a lovely night in a lovely room.
However. Its no plain sailing. And to be honest its mainly due to me. But not because of nagging but because i never really knew just how much i loved him until it looked like it was all gonna go away.
You cant judge every marriage the same. If you want to do it, do it. More often than not you get more good out of it cos if it were so shite why would people keep doing it????
I love being Mrs 12th Man. I'm a very very lucky women.
Quote #38 KenFB, "Never understand why the majority of people get married. Is it not the basis of a religious exchange of vows, and to have children, and to bring them up in a christian faith".
It might be for some people, but for me it was nothing to do with religion. I'd have not had any truck with it if it was. It's all about making a public declaration about one's love and commitment.
T.C.E 12 hours ago quote# 37
Posted By: CHG
Getting married in 8 weeks, you guys are a ray of sunshine.
Been married 30 years next may, so it does work.
And the wife told me the other day, I couldn't be happier ; )
Ray
A work colleague was telling me about his divorce the other day. He'd been 'happily' married for 25 years and his wife told him that she'd never been happier. He thought his life was perfect. Always out playing golf and going to footy etc then one day someone left an anonymous note on his desk. It said 'go to hotescorts.com/Maidstone' and there was a picture of his wife all dressed up with the picture taken in his bedroom. It turned out that because he was nearly always out she had the time to concentrate on her extra curricular activities. So much for being happily married for 25 years.
"Virtually all my friends and family members have got divorced,/seperated, except for the ones that have 'shacked up'."
And except for the ones not included in that "virtually all" who are still together, and not counting the ones who were shacked up and now aren't... Guessing you are one of the "virtually all" then Ken? LOL
Carling, if you are asking, then don't do it - you are not ready for it.
I have been with Mrs. AA for ninteen years, married for 11. This is only my personal opinion, but other than really loving each other in every way, don't marry someone you have little in common with just because they are hot. If she does not like your hobbies (i.e. football) does not like similar music and TV then you are making a rod for your own back. Also, if she wants a wedding to show off with (people from ordinary backgrounds arriving in horse drawn carriages, €2000 dresses, receptions at places where the staff look down their noses at you, top hat and tails etc), ask youself why she is really doing it.
Also not having children helps, unless you genuinely are prepared for the chaos that ensues (and don't think when watching some unctious brat screaming in the supermarket "mine will never be like that" - IT WILL!).
[cite]Posted By: BDL[/cite]The only thing I can add is that if you do tie the knot, then make sure the wedding day is yours and nobody else's - If you want to get married in Vegas but your parents/relatives object, well feck them. It's your day!
SPOT ON!!! We went abroad and got married on a beach at sunset, because that was what we wanted!
We made it clear that it was just the two of us, we had two randoms as witnesses and loved every minute, some people were none to pleased but i really really didnt care, don't regret any of it and would plead with anyone getting married to do what you want and tell everyone else (family, friends etc) to jog on.
We did the same, but any relatives who wanted to come to Barbados were welcome, and several did. Had a reception when we got back where we laid on all the booze and food - that was the day for friends and relations, our wedding day was ours...
As a woman, I hate all this wedding stuff. Seems to me a grotesque nonsense that women have become the victims of a marriage industry which spends all its time confecting a sugary Walt Disney dream of being a princess for a day, then hitting you with a massive bill. The women seem to spend all the pre-marriage time worrying and fretting about making just one day in their lives a perfect day, seemingly oblivious to the 22,000 odd other days that they will have to deal with. For my husband though, marriage was important, so we got married on The Golden Hind with just two witnesses, had lunch in the Oxo tower and cleared off to Paris for a week. It was beautiful weather and we walked hand in hand for miles every day doing the tourist stuff. I loved that week, but the real delight is being with someone whom I can trust 100%, who will always watch out for me and can put up with all my nonsense. I can't begin to imagine my life without him.
It has its ups and downs. Good times and bad. I'd never not want to be with my wife and kids - whatever the weather.
It took a long time and a lot of practise runs with relationships, girlfriends etc thinking or trying to force myself that she's the one. You'll know when/if she is the one - if it's what you really believe go for it. If not, DO NOT.
[cite]Posted By: Valley McMoist[/cite] T.C.E 12 hours ago quote# 37
Posted By: CHG
Getting married in 8 weeks, you guys are a ray of sunshine.
Been married 30 years next may, so it does work.
And the wife told me the other day, I couldn't be happier ; )
Ray
A work colleague was telling me about his divorce the other day. He'd been 'happily' married for 25 years and his wife told him that she'd never been happier. He thought his life was perfect. Always out playing golf and going to footy etc then one day someone left an anonymous note on his desk. It said 'go to hotescorts.com/Maidstone' and there was a picture of his wife all dressed up with the picture taken in his bedroom. It turned out that because he was nearly always out she had the time to concentrate on her extra curricular activities. So much for being happily married for 25 years.
The old 25 year itch...............
Valley Mc, you can be the first person we invite to our 50th wedding anniversary may 9th 2031.
If we dont make it I will personally bake and eat a humble pie, if we do you can buy the first drink ; )
And as for playing golf and watching football.................Me...................Never!! ; )
Marriage is not plain sailing at times but it works as well as any system can when you ask two people to commit solely to each other.
If people are religious then marriage is important for obvious reasons. If children are involved then marriage, if entered into seriously, gives those children stability. I do realise that people CAN give children stable home backgrounds without being married but statistically most social problems arise from families who are not married.
The one thing a committed marriage and having children does is make you unselfish and put others first. If you are not prepared to do that save yourself a lot of grief and don't bother.
"Virtually all my friends and family members have got divorced,/seperated, except for the ones that have 'shacked up'."
And except for the ones not included in that "virtually all" who are still together, and not counting the ones who were shacked up and now aren't... Guessing you are one of the "virtually all" then Ken? LOL
Wrong!..... Been married for 38 years this week, had children after we got married!........
As I say, to me getting to married is really for those who have a religious conviction, not a pretty day in a fairytale costing £10k plus.
I am not convinced of the argument that marriage is for kids, My advice to my own children, why get married!
Sad to hear peoples relationships have broken down, but not surprissed, most contemporary people leading lives today are not suited to marriage, and marriage for most people!
You get to have a sex regularly for 4-5 years - Pro
You have to ask to go out for a beer with your mates on a Friday night and pray you get the nod - Con
[cite]Posted By: stonemuse[/cite]If she does not like your hobbies (i.e. football) does not like similar music and TV then you are making a rod for your own back.
Fully agree P.
By the way, see you next Saturday at Floyds :-)
My wife hates football, hates golf (ryder cup being the exception) Likes country music/Elvis Presley (I dont) Loves CSI type tv programmes (I dont) Oh, and she dont drink for medical reasons other than that we share all the same likes/dislikes. ; )
Comments
Been married 30 years next may, so it does work.
And the wife told me the other day, I couldn't be happier ; )
Ray
Is it not the basis of a religious exchange of vows, and to have children, and to bring them up in a christian faith.
'
Or the non belivers getting married in Woolwich town hall!, the most ' unromantic' setting you can think of!.......akin to the car park in Asda Bexleyheath!.
Virtually all my friends and family members have got divorced,/seperated, except for the ones that have 'shacked up'.
SPOT ON!!! We went abroad and got married on a beach at sunset, because that was what we wanted!
We made it clear that it was just the two of us, we had two randoms as witnesses and loved every minute, some people were none to pleased but i really really didnt care, don't regret any of it and would plead with anyone getting married to do what you want and tell everyone else (family, friends etc) to jog on.
2 kids boy and a girl
i love being married
the best thing about my wife
ME
So currently I have not got a high opinion of it, ecspecially the cost of it now a days. i always said i could live with the cost as it will only happen once. how wrong i was. That said both our parents had been happily married for over 30 years, so it can and does work.
The cost of the wedding is a con and Bexleyheath ASDAs carpark in a former life,to gentlemen of a certain age that attended Bexleyheath School was a place that traditionally held the after school punch ups,perfect place for a wedding!!
As you will have probably guessed Im not in a hurry for a third Mrs!
Cons: Living with the woman you married...
We didn't. Although it was a fantastic day, it was just an excuse for everybody to have a p*ss up at our expense. So much money blown on something that only lasts a day.
10k + on one day? I have never understood the logic. But would never question those that do.
15 years ago, Sidcup registry office just us & two witnesses. Then off for a nice meal & a lovely night in a lovely room.
However. Its no plain sailing. And to be honest its mainly due to me. But not because of nagging but because i never really knew just how much i loved him until it looked like it was all gonna go away.
You cant judge every marriage the same. If you want to do it, do it. More often than not you get more good out of it cos if it were so shite why would people keep doing it????
I love being Mrs 12th Man. I'm a very very lucky women.
It might be for some people, but for me it was nothing to do with religion. I'd have not had any truck with it if it was. It's all about making a public declaration about one's love and commitment.
Posted By: CHG
Getting married in 8 weeks, you guys are a ray of sunshine.
Been married 30 years next may, so it does work.
And the wife told me the other day, I couldn't be happier ; )
Ray
A work colleague was telling me about his divorce the other day. He'd been 'happily' married for 25 years and his wife told him that she'd never been happier. He thought his life was perfect. Always out playing golf and going to footy etc then one day someone left an anonymous note on his desk. It said 'go to hotescorts.com/Maidstone' and there was a picture of his wife all dressed up with the picture taken in his bedroom. It turned out that because he was nearly always out she had the time to concentrate on her extra curricular activities. So much for being happily married for 25 years.
"Virtually all my friends and family members have got divorced,/seperated, except for the ones that have 'shacked up'."
And except for the ones not included in that "virtually all" who are still together, and not counting the ones who were shacked up and now aren't... Guessing you are one of the "virtually all" then Ken? LOL
Carling, if you are asking, then don't do it - you are not ready for it.
I have been with Mrs. AA for ninteen years, married for 11. This is only my personal opinion, but other than really loving each other in every way, don't marry someone you have little in common with just because they are hot. If she does not like your hobbies (i.e. football) does not like similar music and TV then you are making a rod for your own back. Also, if she wants a wedding to show off with (people from ordinary backgrounds arriving in horse drawn carriages, €2000 dresses, receptions at places where the staff look down their noses at you, top hat and tails etc), ask youself why she is really doing it.
Also not having children helps, unless you genuinely are prepared for the chaos that ensues (and don't think when watching some unctious brat screaming in the supermarket "mine will never be like that" - IT WILL!).
We did the same, but any relatives who wanted to come to Barbados were welcome, and several did. Had a reception when we got back where we laid on all the booze and food - that was the day for friends and relations, our wedding day was ours...
It took a long time and a lot of practise runs with relationships, girlfriends etc thinking or trying to force myself that she's the one. You'll know when/if she is the one - if it's what you really believe go for it. If not, DO NOT.
The old 25 year itch...............
Valley Mc, you can be the first person we invite to our 50th wedding anniversary may 9th 2031.
If we dont make it I will personally bake and eat a humble pie, if we do you can buy the first drink ; )
And as for playing golf and watching football.................Me...................Never!! ; )
If people are religious then marriage is important for obvious reasons. If children are involved then marriage, if entered into seriously, gives those children stability. I do realise that people CAN give children stable home backgrounds without being married but statistically most social problems arise from families who are not married.
The one thing a committed marriage and having children does is make you unselfish and put others first. If you are not prepared to do that save yourself a lot of grief and don't bother.
"Virtually all my friends and family members have got divorced,/seperated, except for the ones that have 'shacked up'."
And except for the ones not included in that "virtually all" who are still together, and not counting the ones who were shacked up and now aren't... Guessing you are one of the "virtually all" then Ken? LOL
Wrong!..... Been married for 38 years this week, had children after we got married!........
As I say, to me getting to married is really for those who have a religious conviction, not a pretty day in a fairytale costing £10k plus.
I am not convinced of the argument that marriage is for kids, My advice to my own children, why get married!
Sad to hear peoples relationships have broken down, but not surprissed, most contemporary people leading lives today are not suited to marriage, and marriage for most people!
Fully agree P.
By the way, see you next Saturday at Floyds :-)
You have to ask to go out for a beer with your mates on a Friday night and pray you get the nod - Con
My wife hates football, hates golf (ryder cup being the exception) Likes country music/Elvis Presley (I dont) Loves CSI type tv programmes (I dont) Oh, and she dont drink for medical reasons other than that we share all the same likes/dislikes. ; )