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Jokes..

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    cafcfancafcfan
    The Queen recently visited South London and was surprised to find the large crowd was booing and hissing at her. Her Maj was visibly upset and when back in the Roller asked a lady-in-waiting what had gone wrong. The l-i-w replied as sensitively as she could, "Well ma'am, I believe they have taken against your headgear: it's really not the done thing any more".

    "Oh" said QEII, clearly irritated, "that's Prince Philip's fault. We were having breakfast this morning and he asked where one was going today. I told him Bermondsey and he said wear the fox hat."
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    Taxi_LadTaxi_Lad
    It's so cold outside, I've just seen some Romanians with their hands in their own pockets
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    SolidgoneSolidgone
    You can't spell advertisements without semen between the tits.
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    A-R-T-H-U-RA-R-T-H-U-R
    I bought a slimming magazine in WH Smiths today.
    I didn't read it, I just wanted the big bar of Galaxy for a pound.
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    A-R-T-H-U-RA-R-T-H-U-R
    Vet says my cat in in heat.
    I didn't even know she was famous.
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    ForeverAddicktedForeverAddickted
    I got a bite the first time I went fishing. I panicked and phoned the Fisherman's Advice Bureau to see what I should do...

    "Please hold the line" they said!
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    stevecstevec
    I woke up this morning to find a bunch of squaddies carrying trays and demanding food.

    Honestly, my bedrooms a mess.
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    GreenieGreenie
    .
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    A-R-T-H-U-RA-R-T-H-U-R
    Limbo champion walks into a bar…he’s disqualified.
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    A-R-T-H-U-RA-R-T-H-U-R
    edited March 2018
    My pirate mate just got his end of term school report.

    He got the seven 'C' 's he yearned for.
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    SolidgoneSolidgone
    A horse walks into a bar...
    The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?"

    The horse, unable to speak English, shits on the floor and leaves.
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    ForeverAddicktedForeverAddickted
    I went to the library today and asked, "Have you got any books about modern trains?"

    The librarian replied, "Sorry sir. It should have been here this morning, but it's not arrived yet!"
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    ForeverAddicktedForeverAddickted
    People have always told me that icy is the easiest word to spell...

    And now that I look at it I see why!
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    RedroboRedrobo
    A white horse walks into a bar and asks for a whisky.

    The barman says “we have a whisky named after you”

    “ what Eric” says the horse.
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    HalixHalix
    Redrobo said:

    A white horse walks into a bar and asks for a whisky.

    The barman says “we have a whisky named after you”

    “ what Eric” says the horse.

    This almost deserved a flag I was told this one at school and Im now retired!.
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    SolidgoneSolidgone
    Halix said:

    Redrobo said:

    A white horse walks into a bar and asks for a whisky.

    The barman says “we have a whisky named after you”

    “ what Eric” says the horse.

    This almost deserved a flag I was told this one at school and Im now retired!.
    But still funny - Classics are us!
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    RedroboRedrobo
    Halix said:

    Redrobo said:

    A white horse walks into a bar and asks for a whisky.

    The barman says “we have a whisky named after you”

    “ what Eric” says the horse.

    This almost deserved a flag I was told this one at school and Im now retired!.
    So was I, so am I.
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    cafcfancafcfan
    https://youtu.be/S1kAp1WBwV8
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