Jokes..

A-R-T-H-U-R

Just graduated with a degree in Ballet.


I got a 2:2

mistrollingin

Autopsy just finished on Brucie
Official Notice: Bruce Forsyth died of a seizure, nice to seizure, to seizure nice.

man_at_milletts

Got told at Eltham Swimming Pool again last night, I've got to wear a hat.

Do they know how f***ng difficult it is to do a length's butteryfly wearing a bowler?

cafc4life

.

man_at_milletts

After watching Countryfile last night, I signed up for The Big Wasp Survey.

So far today I've only seen the ones about inch long.

Anyone know where I'll find the big fuckers?

cafcfan

man_at_milletts said:

After watching Countryfile last night, I signed up for The Big Wasp Survey.

So far today I've only seen the ones about inch long.

Anyone know where I'll find the big fuckers?

Well, while you jest, you could start in Essex! One of these fuckers - a Giant Asian Hornet - was found last year and it's only a matter of time before we get more.

man_at_milletts

You can keep them. We've several beehives on the allotment and have been keeping an eye out for these buggers. Bad news they are.

Mr. Happy

There's a real buzz around this thread at the minute.

man_at_milletts

Mr. Happy said:

There's a real buzz around this thread at the minute.

And there'll probably be a sting in the tail too!

Solidgone

Is this OK be if the same?

Solidgone

...One of the same.

Floyd Montana

Greenie

All over FaceAche...yep we get it, your angels have got older and are going into the next year.....never happened before!

Addick Addict

PWR

SOTF

How do you comfort a grammar nazi?

'They're, their, there.'

A-R-T-H-U-R

Greenie said:

All over FaceAche...yep we get it, your angels have got older and are going into the next year.....never happened before!

Like this?

AddicksAddict

cafcfan said:

man_at_milletts said:

After watching Countryfile last night, I signed up for The Big Wasp Survey.

So far today I've only seen the ones about inch long.

Anyone know where I'll find the big fuckers?

Well, while you jest, you could start in Essex! One of these fuckers - a Giant Asian Hornet - was found last year and it's only a matter of time before we get more.

To the detriment of our bee colonies.

AddicksAddict

SurvivaloftheFittest said:

How do you comfort a grammar nazi?

'They're, their, there.'

I think we last had that one about a year ago.

AddicksAddict

Anna_Kissed said:

Taxi_Lad said:

Henry the eighth's wife would never rush into a room..... she'd just amble in

Whereupon she'd look out of the window.
So that she could see more...

...of the golfers and wonder if any of them were playing to par.

Sillybilly

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!" She says, "Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up." After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says gain "Man! My hands are really freezing!" She says again, "Well put them here between my legs and warm them up." He does, and again that warms him up. After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood for the night. When he returns, he again says, "Honey, my hands are really freezing!" She looks at him and says, "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, DON'T YOUR EARS EVER GET COLD?"

McBobbin

Guess this goes here... Best go fund me ever

https://www.gofundme.com/9wvxt9-replacement-window

cafcdave123

A Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor. After the exam the doctor said, "I know why you're having trouble." The Chinaman says, "Why?" Doctor said, "You have a cataract." Chinaman says, "No, I have a Rincoln Continental."

Credit to Junior Soprano

Danepak

cafcdave123

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Halix

cafcdave123 said:

.

Isnt it traditional for him to be having a wizz from the top of the diving board?

cafcfan

Not a joke but not worth its own thread either.

From 5th September's cryptic crossword in the Standard:

"Like an unsatisfactory victory at the Valley" (6).

happyvalley

cafcfan said:

Not a joke but not worth its own thread either.

From 5th September's cryptic crossword in the Standard:

"Like an unsatisfactory victory at the Valley" (6).

Hollow?

A-R-T-H-U-R

happyvalley said:

cafcfan said:

Not a joke but not worth its own thread either.

From 5th September's cryptic crossword in the Standard:

"Like an unsatisfactory victory at the Valley" (6).

Hollow?

Is it me you're looking for?

cafcfan

happyvalley said:

cafcfan said:

Not a joke but not worth its own thread either.

From 5th September's cryptic crossword in the Standard:

"Like an unsatisfactory victory at the Valley" (6).

Hollow?

Correct.