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Least Plausible Story involving you that's true.

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  • Not me but a few years back I went out with mates for a curry on Christmas Eve. One night between Christmas and New Year a few of us went to the pub. One of the group told us that after the curry a member of the group found out he had a daughter he didn’t know about. A bit of Facebook searching and someone found her along with the photo of her daughter. The daughter had her dads eyes, there was no doubt, she was definitely his. The mother was a girl we were at school with from a year or two below who we didn’t know but knew of.

    Not long after this girl walks into the pub with another of our mates (no doubt he had been or was expecting to sleep with her). We then hear the story again and pretend we knew nothing about it. It turned out a doctor had told her she couldn’t have children. The dad had an arrogant side to him and was probably quite smug at the thought of his super sperm.
  • That I’m Omar’s stunt double.
  • edited June 2018
    When I was a sixth-former in the early '70s, I showed Princess Margaret how to use a computer.
  • The ex-boyfriend of the cousin of the best friend of the sister of Limahl's boyfriend in 1979 is....me!
  • When Sir Boris was Mayor of London he knocked my wing mirror off of my car near London Bridge with his bike.

    He stopped and offered to pay for the damage, but I politely refused, telling him there was no way I could take money from the future Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

    Did he have Theresa May on the crossbar?
  • _MrDick said:

    Is the the CL version of Would I lie to you?

    No. The, 'that's true' bit in the title pretty much covers that.
    I once ran over a Buddhist monk in Kathmandu.
    I once ran over a bridge in London.
  • edited June 2018

    My best mates dad's birthday is the same day as my dad's birthday. And his mums birthday is the same day as my mums birthday. Not born in the same year but still, what are the odds of that?


    1 in 364 to the power of 2, or 1 in 364 x 365, or 1 in 365 x 365, depending on any of the years being leap years.
  • Beerbods (https://beerbods.co.uk) used a picture of Ms AA and me drinking their beer on their share offer brochure.
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  • The ex-boyfriend of the cousin of the best friend of the sister of Limahl's boyfriend in 1979 is....me!

    You’ve been very shy shy about that one.
    Too shy shy some might say.
  • When I was at school, aged 12, I was shot at point blank range by a Bobcat air rifle.
  • hawksmoor said:

    Me and my workmates were playing football over Regent's Park when Woody Harrelson (who was in a play in the West End at the time) walked over and asked if he could play. He was on my side. So there was a lot of, 'Woody, Woody, just a touch, mate.' He played the next week, as well.

    Remember him talking about this a few years ago, after he scored the winning pen in the soccer aid match.
  • RedMist said:

    Enjoying a little 69 fun with an old girlfriend, she was on top, I opened my eyes to see a dingleberry hanging from her balloon knot.
    Just at that moment it dropped off and straight down my throat , out of reflex i swallowed and it was gone.

    Had to google quite a bit of this post.

    Never heard of a dingleberry before and even then only fell in when I saw this image of a balloon knot. I feel as though you've robbed me of an innocence that I can never get back.

    If he’d said clegnut you’d’ve known straightaway what he meant right...
  • I was once on the cover of Darts World monthly when I was 12
  • My uncles sister was married to one of Gaddafis nephews. Spent half the year in Ireland half the year in Libya.
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  • ozaddick said:

    I’m still fecking waiting for the dream of the lottery numbers.

    Don't forget your mates when they come up :wink: .
  • I had sex with a woman.

    Close the thread we have a winner! We are now totally in the realms of fantasy. ;)
  • ozaddick said:

    Back in the beginning of September 2001 I woke up saying ‘what the f*ck..!???’ after a very realistic dream. I was rattled for days after.
    It wasn’t what happened in the dream, but the emotions I was experiencing. I was driving along in my work van when I turned onto a road, which had a palm tree in the middle of a roundabout further down the way. As I begin driving down the road I wanna suddenly over come with the emotions that were of absolute dread and dumbfounded disbelieve, and I’m my dream I was shouting ‘NO...NO!! Holy f*~k.. NO!!! .” etc etc. As I said, I woke up in a bit of a state, it felt so real.

    A few days later, I’m round my housemates mate, having a feed, I’d only met him a couple of times and it was the first time round his gaff.

    After I left, I got lost driving. I turned at a junction, into the road in my dreams a few nights before, with a palm tree in the distance. The emotions and feelings of the dream came back and hit my like a feckin tidal wave, I was punching the steering wheel yelling “NO!! No way!!” I was in disbelief.

    Finally made it home, grabbed a beer, switched on the box and tried to calm down.

    15 minutes later the program cut to a news flash... a commercial jet had crashed into one of the World trade centre twin towers.... the timing of the crash was exactly when I was driving along that road with the palm tree.

    I’ve had other ones, but not on that scale.

    Didn't realise the twin towers were shaped like palm trees. Thought they were in NY not Vegas.
  • ozaddick said:

    Back in the beginning of September 2001 I woke up saying ‘what the f*ck..!???’ after a very realistic dream. I was rattled for days after.
    It wasn’t what happened in the dream, but the emotions I was experiencing. I was driving along in my work van when I turned onto a road, which had a palm tree in the middle of a roundabout further down the way. As I begin driving down the road I wanna suddenly over come with the emotions that were of absolute dread and dumbfounded disbelieve, and I’m my dream I was shouting ‘NO...NO!! Holy f*~k.. NO!!! .” etc etc. As I said, I woke up in a bit of a state, it felt so real.

    A few days later, I’m round my housemates mate, having a feed, I’d only met him a couple of times and it was the first time round his gaff.

    After I left, I got lost driving. I turned at a junction, into the road in my dreams a few nights before, with a palm tree in the distance. The emotions and feelings of the dream came back and hit my like a feckin tidal wave, I was punching the steering wheel yelling “NO!! No way!!” I was in disbelief.

    Finally made it home, grabbed a beer, switched on the box and tried to calm down.

    15 minutes later the program cut to a news flash... a commercial jet had crashed into one of the World trade centre twin towers.... the timing of the crash was exactly when I was driving along that road with the palm tree.

    I’ve had other ones, but not on that scale.

    Didn't realise the twin towers were shaped like palm trees. Thought they were in NY not Vegas.
    Wow! Really entering in to the spirit of the thread!

    When we played in Newcastle back in the Prem days,ended up in Sainsbury's for a sarnie - as I grabbed it a hand came from behind me to grab it too.
    It was Peter Beardsley (he'd finished his playing days by then, possibly).
    Had a chat and gave him the sarnie.

    What a story eh?
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