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The shits

edited February 2016 in Troubleshooting
Anyone else enjoying this bug?

I've not thrown up but I'm just slopping out my 7th squirty one of the last 3 hours. Like a flock of pigeons leaving their racing loft. Absolutely merciless. Meant to have the inlaws over today but they called off because of this demonic shitting.

I actually feel okish in myself but the time between thinking 'uh-oh' and having a torrent of stinking brown disgusting liquid shite fly out of my dung button with such velocity I've had to take babywipes to my arse cheeks and completely disinfect and clean the bog including under the seat and above the rim four times, has gone from a couple of leisurely minutes to about 6 seconds. And it's bedtime now. I really don't want to shit the bed.

Aside from immodium does anyone have a treatment for this?

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Comments

  • Had it for 4 weeks mate, been told I have either ulcerative colitis or crohns, havent been able to eat properly in werks
  • Probably norovirus - nhs direct said to me that shits is actually the leading symptom but it is more socially acceptable to say you were being sick than blowing up out or arse. Remember the doc saying to me immodium is actually the thing to take. People who say it keeps the bug in are talking bollox - the shits is a symptom of the virus like a runny nose is to a cold.
  • If its 'D&V' diarrhoea & vomitting, it could be the winter vomitting bug - novovirus. Pretty horrible to experience but it does clear up after a couple of days.

    http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Norovirus/Pages/Introduction.aspx

    Check with GP or NHS111 to be sure. Get well soon.

    What to do if you have norovirus

    If you experience sudden diarrhoea and vomiting, the best thing to do is to stay at home until you're feeling better. There's no cure for norovirus, so you have to let it run its course.

    You don't usually need to get medical advice unless there's a risk of a more serious problem (see When to get medical advice).

    To help ease your own or your child’s symptoms:

    Drink plenty of fluids to avoid dehydration. You need to drink more than usual to replace the fluids lost from vomiting and diarrhoea – as well as water, adults could also try fruit juice and soup. Avoid giving fizzy drinks or fruit juice to children as it can make their diarrhoea worse. Babies should continue to feed as usual, either with breast milk or other milk feeds.
    Take paracetamol for any fever or aches and pains.
    Get plenty of rest.
    If you feel like eating, eat plain foods, such as soup, rice, pasta and bread.
    Use special rehydration drinks made from sachets bought from pharmacies if you have signs of dehydration, such as a dry mouth or dark urine – read more about treating dehydration.
    Adults can take antidiarrhoeal and/or anti-emetic (anti-vomiting) medication – these are not suitable for everyone though, so you should check the medicine leaflet or ask or your pharmacist or GP for advice before trying them.

    Babies and young children, especially if they're less than a year old, have a greater risk of becoming dehydrated. Read advice about looking after babies and children under five who have diarrhoea and vomiting.

    Norovirus can spread very easily, so you should wash your hands regularly while you're ill and stay off work or school until at least 48 hours after the symptoms have cleared, to reduce the risk of passing it on (see Preventing norovirus below).
  • That's nice.
  • Carter and his favourite subject. Hope you're better soon.
  • I mostly speak utter shit anyway. In this instance I can speak with clarity and experience
  • Anyone with such symptoms should make sure they get a prime seat in the Directors box at out next home game...
  • Immodium is like locking the door with Roland and "the boys". Gets the job done. The boys being macrophages of course. If you'd rather not then I suggest a book, a bottle of water, and an open window. Got me through a particularly insidious bug in Thailand that one. Lost nearly a stone... No joke, I was needling it for a week
  • It's immodium plus rehydration salts and riding out the wave.
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  • Carter said:

    Aside from immodium does anyone have a treatment for this?

    Arse transplant
  • Had it for 4 weeks mate, been told I have either ulcerative colitis or crohns, havent been able to eat properly in werks

    Sorry to hear that mate, from what I understand both are treatable but I think how they are treated depends on how severe the inflammation is. A guy I work with has colitis and copes well. In fact if it wasn't for the fact we both share a dark sense of humour around these things I wouldn't be aware he had anything wrong with him. Just that he destroyed toilets
  • edited February 2016
    Why is diarrhoea so difficult to spell?
  • I get it every morning after 2 energy drinks.
  • Huskaris said:

    I get it every morning after 2 energy drinks.

    It was only after the episode of the inbetweeners when Will shat himself suring his exam that I realised I wasn't alone there.
  • As a medical sales rep & 2 x Norovirus champion, it does sound like you have that! Imodium is your friend but remember to keep hydrated too!

    You'll be ok in a couple of days
  • I was a lucky man on Thurs night. I'd just finished a 17 mile training run and just got in the front door before my stomach unleashed hell on me. Literally sat on the throne for the best part of two hours as the whole world fell out of my back side.

    Stomach took 2 days to feel right again unfortunately.
  • Ha ha I wonder if any club employees who trawl through this site on the club's behalf saw the title of this thread and thought, oh here we go, yet another rant about KM and RD.
    Stay calm, watchers, it's just Carter and his arse :-)
    Although....;-)
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  • Had it for 4 weeks mate, been told I have either ulcerative colitis or crohns, havent been able to eat properly in werks

    If it is UC then the drug you need is Azathioprine, don't let them fob you off with anything else.

  • Norovirus shits is a whole new world of pain in the toilet dept. They should call it the Winter Shitting Virus - would be more apt.

    I remember (unfortunately) January 17th 2007 - the day I was chained to the bog for 7 hours from 9pm at night. It was hard to say how many episodes took place as it was like someone had turned an outside tap on in my arse, and had fucked off on holiday without turning it off.

    Needless to say, the episode helped break the ice of living with my girlfriend for the first time (now wife). I had been on the khazi for so long that my legs went numb. Coupled with the light headedness resulting from losing the equivalent of Lake Ontario out my arse, I stood up, only for my legs to give way - sending me head first into the shower door.

    End result is missus comes running in to find me, head in the shower stall, spraying brown water out my bum.

    Ha, the numb legs is evil. Just make sure your Mrs doesnt ramp up the underfloor heating like mine otherwise you'll end up with burning feet too which you cant feel from the numbness!
  • Carter said:

    Anyone else enjoying this bug?

    I've not thrown up but I'm just slopping out my 7th squirty one of the last 3 hours. Like a flock of pigeons leaving their racing loft. Absolutely merciless. Meant to have the inlaws over today but they called off because of this demonic shitting.

    I actually feel okish in myself but the time between thinking 'uh-oh' and having a torrent of stinking brown disgusting liquid shite fly out of my dung button with such velocity I've had to take babywipes to my arse cheeks and completely disinfect and clean the bog including under the seat and above the rim four times, has gone from a couple of leisurely minutes to about 6 seconds. And it's bedtime now. I really don't want to shit the bed.

    Aside from immodium does anyone have a treatment for this?

    Give the valley nhs call centre a ring, they will know what to do.
  • cafcfan said:

    Why is diarrhoea so difficult to spell?

    Really shitty word to spell
  • This is in 'Troubleshooting' - isn't that sort of the opposite?
  • This Thread is just going to run and run isnt it?
  • I think there will be an explosion of puns.
  • I think there will be an explosion of puns.

    Urgh... If that was meant to be a joke it stinks
  • Poor Carter. I bet your arse looks like the Japanese flag at the minute
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Roland Out!