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  • AddicksAddictAddicksAddict
    A friend gave me a pile of Scrabble letters for my birthday.

    She said it was a book from IKEA. 
  • AddicksAddictAddicksAddict
    How many premiership players does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None, the club has someone to do that for them.
  • AddicksAddictAddicksAddict
    My brother has started spouting things that aren't true.  I thought he was getting Alzheimer's.

    Then his wife told me he'd started watching GBNews.
  • cafcfancafcfan
    You may not see me on here for a while.
    Charlton Police are investigating me for stealing inflatable swimming aids.
    I've got to lilo.
  • R0TWR0TW
    AddicksAddict said:
    My brother has started spouting things that aren't true.  I thought he was getting Alzheimer's.

    Then his wife told me he'd started watching GBNews.
    That’s an absolute cracker. I can now understand why everyone in your entourage at Wembley looked like they was having so much fun in your company.
  • AddicksAddictAddicksAddict
    R0TW said:
    AddicksAddict said:
    My brother has started spouting things that aren't true.  I thought he was getting Alzheimer's.

    Then his wife told me he'd started watching GBNews.
    That’s an absolute cracker. I can now understand why everyone in your entourage at Wembley looked like they was having so much fun in your company.
    They were tired out after a hard guffaw. 
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  • AddicksAddictAddicksAddict
    Taxi_Lad said:

    Bargain 👍🏻
    Worried they come across bodies without heads.
  • SolidgoneSolidgone
    A timely joke especially when its been announced the the Colombian guy that killed two men and was caught crossing the Clifton bridge.
  • _MrDick_MrDick
    My boss hates it when I call him Dick. Which is understandable as his name is Steve 
  • MrWalkerMrWalker
    When I married my wife, I also married my best friend.
    Which, as it turns out, is illegal.
  • MrWalkerMrWalker
    edited July 30
    My golf instructor told me I had to work on my follow-through.
    “Is it my swing?”
    No, its all down the back of your trousers

  • Taxi_LadTaxi_Lad
    edited July 31
    Told my kids that I had Roger Daltrey in my cab the other day  

    they said "Who?"

    I replied "yes that's him!"

    (I did in fact pick him up once)
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  • AddicksAddictAddicksAddict
    When I was younger, I tried to write a new drinking song.

    I couldn’t get past the first few bars.
  • AddicksAddictAddicksAddict
    My wife was rhapsodising about the inequalities in the way women are treated.

    "Take sex" she said.  "If a women sleeps with ten men, she's called a slut, but if a man does it, what does he get called?".

    "Homosexual?".
  • gringogringo
    AddicksAddict said:
    My wife was rhapsodising about the inequalities in the way women are treated.

    "Take sex" she said.  "If a women sleeps with ten men, she's called a slut, but if a man does it, what does he get called?".

    "Homosexual?".

  • MrWalkerMrWalker
    Met a beautiful Welsh girl last week.
    She said ' Do you want to come back to mine?'
    Now I'm covered in coal dust.
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