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The sexual innuendo thread.

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Comments

  • man_at_milletts
    man_at_milletts Posts: 5,620
    iaitch said:
    With half an orange you can peel back the skin and suck out the juice.

    Just think what you could do with a nice pair.  OOOh matron!
  • eastterrace6168
    eastterrace6168 Posts: 22,605
    iaitch said:
    With half an orange you can peel back the skin and suck out the juice.

  • man_at_milletts
    man_at_milletts Posts: 5,620
    Went to the doctors yesterday and told him I haven't had a shit for 5 days.
    He gave me some pills and said put one in your back passage before you go to bed.
    For all the good that did, I might just as well have shoved it up my arse.

    Tish Boom!  Now that's a real innuendo.

  • eaststandmike
    eaststandmike Posts: 14,956
    The female DJ on Heart radio this afternoon said. “After the news I will be playing a tune that will get your fist pumping”

    ✊🏻
  • soapy_jones
    soapy_jones Posts: 21,358
    I thought I was IN this morning when the attractive youngish TA turned and said to me in the staff room, "can you grip it and give it a good twist?"
    Whilst handing me a brand new jar of jam.
  • Blackheathen
    Blackheathen Posts: 6,656
    Sticky problem
  • thai malaysia addick
    thai malaysia addick Posts: 18,341
    soapy_jones said:
    I thought I was IN this morning when the attractive youngish TA turned and said to me in the staff room, "can you grip it and give it a good twist?"
    Whilst handing me a brand new jar of jam.
    Was it an easy screw? Or, did it stick at first before coming off?
  • man_at_milletts
    man_at_milletts Posts: 5,620
    I see that Stephanie Frappart, the French referee officiating in the Germany v Costa Rica game when interviewed about tonight's game was quoted as saying 'Well, if the men make it hard for me, then I will make it hard for them'.
  • Billy_Mix
    Billy_Mix Posts: 2,707
    man_at_milletts said:
    I see that Stephanie Frappart, the French referee officiating in the Germany v Costa Rica game when interviewed about tonight's game was quoted as saying 'Well, if the men make it hard for me, then I will make it hard for them'.
    If it gets hard for her then FIFA's diversity window dressing has been much more thorough than anybody expected
  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 94,455
    Dutch vs Argentina commentary: "He's a coming talent"

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  • man_at_milletts
    man_at_milletts Posts: 5,620
    I thought this thread had shot its bolt.
  • Gary Poole
    Gary Poole Posts: 1,874
    man_at_milletts said:
    I thought this thread had shot its bolt.
    I was going to give it two days until it finally died, but on second thoughts I’ll give it one
  • Masterbrew
    Masterbrew Posts: 264
    Something usually pops up eventually 
  • Lordflashheart
    Lordflashheart Posts: 5,623
    I can’t remember the exact words, but there was the commentary of a ladies long distance race and the commentator, when the leader of the race sped up, said ‘she opens up her legs, and shows us what she’s got’

    Or something like that 😂
  • man_at_milletts
    man_at_milletts Posts: 5,620
    Lordflashheart said:
    I can’t remember the exact words, but there was the commentary of a ladies long distance race and the commentator, when the leader of the race sped up, said ‘she opens up her legs, and shows us what she’s got’

    Or something like that 😂

    David Coleman IIRC.  Every time (Insert athlete's name) opens her legs a big gap appears.


  • iaitch
    iaitch Posts: 10,234
    Was it Coleman or Pickering who commented on Juantorena, 'everytime he opens his legs he shows class', 
  • hoof_it_up_to_benty
    hoof_it_up_to_benty Posts: 22,456
    iaitch said:
    Was it Coleman or Pickering who commented on Juantorena, 'everytime he opens his legs he shows class', 
    Sure this was Coleman
  • Billy_Mix
    Billy_Mix Posts: 2,707
    Working in the NUS bar years ago a pretty fresher asked me for a double entendre
    So I gave her one
  • Alicanteaddicks
    Alicanteaddicks Posts: 126
    Just suggested to the wife I’ll take her up the 
    Bullring tonight! 

    She didn’t look impressed!

    only wanted to show her the Christmas lights 
    & Ice rink ! 
  • man_at_milletts
    man_at_milletts Posts: 5,620
    I've just joined our village choir, the music is great. I find it fascinating going through the women's parts.


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  • paulbaconsarnie
    paulbaconsarnie Posts: 9,424
    Posted on the worldle thread but imagine your country is shaped like a strap on.

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