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Inheritance moral dilemma

Gasman
Gasman Posts: 92
in General Charlton
Please be straight and forwad with me on this situation i have found myself in this weekend.long story i know but i keep short.
My uncle passed away , i have not had contact with him for over 25 years, reason being just lost contact when my father passed. My dad hated my uncle for being gay so never really had much of a relationship with uncle as a kid just a few visits at christmas. If im honest i wanted to make contact with him but just never got around to it and didnt know if he would welcome contact.silly i know. Anyway sadly he passed. His partner contacted my mum so say im due to receive his estate.he left no will and according to his partner its mine. Ok so i get a few quid that i cleary dont deserve at all. Problem is his partner for years will have to find someplace to live. Hes an old man now. Really dont know how to approach this. I feel bit confused and guilt for his partner.  I know some will say luck you but dont feel good. Advise anybody ?
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Comments

  • bobmunro
    bobmunro Posts: 20,846
    edited June 2020
    Gasman said:
    Please be straight and forwad with me on this situation i have found myself in this weekend.long story i know but i keep short.
    My uncle passed away , i have not had contact with him for over 25 years, reason being just lost contact when my father passed. My dad hated my uncle for being gay so never really had much of a relationship with uncle as a kid just a few visits at christmas. If im honest i wanted to make contact with him but just never got around to it and didnt know if he would welcome contact.silly i know. Anyway sadly he passed. His partner contacted my mum so say im due to receive his estate.he left no will and according to his partner its mine. Ok so i get a few quid that i cleary dont deserve at all. Problem is his partner for years will have to find someplace to live. Hes an old man now. Really dont know how to approach this. I feel bit confused and guilt for his partner.  I know some will say luck you but dont feel good. Advise anybody ?

    Do you inherit the property?
    Perhaps a way forward would be to allow his long-term partner to stay in the property rent free, and for you to realise the asset on his passing.
    There's no right answer other than trying to second guess what your uncle would have wanted.
  • ElfsborgAddick
    ElfsborgAddick Posts: 29,045
    edited June 2020
    For whatever reason your Uncle did not put his partner in a will.
    Allow the man to stay there until the property becomes empty.

  • bobmunro
    bobmunro Posts: 20,846
    I think all three of us posted the same thing at the same time.
  • charltonnick
    charltonnick Posts: 3,063
    He won't have to find somewhere to live if you let his partner remain in the house. The property will still be yours so you will have the asset 
  • Addick Addict
    Addick Addict Posts: 39,792
    Gasman said:
    Please be straight and forwad with me on this situation i have found myself in this weekend.long story i know but i keep short.
    My uncle passed away , i have not had contact with him for over 25 years, reason being just lost contact when my father passed. My dad hated my uncle for being gay so never really had much of a relationship with uncle as a kid just a few visits at christmas. If im honest i wanted to make contact with him but just never got around to it and didnt know if he would welcome contact.silly i know. Anyway sadly he passed. His partner contacted my mum so say im due to receive his estate.he left no will and according to his partner its mine. Ok so i get a few quid that i cleary dont deserve at all. Problem is his partner for years will have to find someplace to live. Hes an old man now. Really dont know how to approach this. I feel bit confused and guilt for his partner.  I know some will say luck you but dont feel good. Advise anybody ?
    I'm not a solicitor but, assuming I have read this correctly, if you have inherited the home that your uncle owned, could you not get a document drawn up to the effect that his partner will be allowed to live there for his lifetime after which possession of the property reverts to you? Alternatively, if the value of the property allows it, you could perhaps sell it and buy a smaller one that his partner could live in on the same basis I mentioned? I am also assuming the estate's value is below the IHT threshold?
  • Addick Addict
    Addick Addict Posts: 39,792
    bobmunro said:
    I think all three of us posted the same thing at the same time.
    Make that four. What's that saying about great minds and fools?
  • bobmunro
    bobmunro Posts: 20,846
    Addick Addict said:
    bobmunro said:
    I think all three of us posted the same thing at the same time.
    Make that four. What's that saying about great minds and fools?

    I think on this occasion the strength of similarity says a lot about what the right thing to do would be.
  • RaplhMilne
    RaplhMilne Posts: 4,601
    You need to meet and speak to this man. How old is he ? He may be really wealthy and can afford to buy his own place or, even buy your inherited house from you. That’s first thing I’d do is establish his position.

    How old are you ? Do you need this inheritance now ?  If your only going to put the money in investment for early retirement etc, then you can consider, letting the guy remain at Uncles. Either no rent or what you believe is fair according to his financial position. 

    Surprised your Uncle being aware of this has not taken care of the situation. Have you or partner seen the will ? Mat well say you inherit the property on the death of his partner..... ?
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  • Gasman
    Gasman Posts: 92
    Thanks chaps. Tough time. Just feels wrong. I need to talk to his partner to see what he wants and needs.  I like the views above could work.
  • bobmunro
    bobmunro Posts: 20,846
    RaplhMilne said:
    You need to meet and speak to this man. How old is he ? He may be really wealthy and can afford to buy his own place or, even buy your inherited house from you. That’s first thing I’d do is establish his position.

    How old are you ? Do you need this inheritance now ?  If your only going to put the money in investment for early retirement etc, then you can consider, letting the guy remain at Uncles. Either no rent or what you believe is fair according to his financial position. 

    Surprised your Uncle being aware of this has not taken care of the situation. Have you or partner seen the will ? Mat well say you inherit the property on the death of his partner..... ?

    No will.
  • Gasman
    Gasman Posts: 92
    My uncle partner must be mid 70s and have no idea of value yet. He moved to wales 15 years ago .looks like a trip to meet his partner. 
  • swords_alive
    swords_alive Posts: 4,261
    Condolences Gasman. 

    Others will have experience and advise you more clearly but I am having a quick look here- https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/sorting-out-the-estate-when-there-isnt-a-will

    What's clear is this will take some time, whether your uncle's partner or someone else, such as a probate solicitor, is administering the estate. Doubtful if the partner will be made homeless anytime soon. Things have to be valued and ownership confirmed for any assets, and other paperwork.

    Were they married or in a civil partnership? If so, the partner will have rights to inherit as with any married couple. 

    This has to be done properly and according to law. There are rules and procedures of intestacy when there is no will. Each stage must be handled carefully. Other relatives may have a claim (e.g. your brothers/ sisters and aunts/ uncles still alive).

    So if it was me i'd firstly be looking to clarify who is formally administering your uncle's affairs. If there is a solicitor then make yourself known to them. Ultimately if your uncle's partner is facing homelessness then you could be able to intervene at that point (some months down the tracks and when you know fully his situation and how much you will inherit) but there is a fair way to go yet. Rest assured there are people who know what to do in this situation, and probate solicitors get paid for this (usually a cut from the estate). 

    More here-
    https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/who-can-inherit-if-there-is-no-will-the-rules-of-intestacy
    and
    https://farewill.com/blog/why-unmarried-couples-need-to-have-wills-25UKHRJRPCQqUyMC06cKSg

    All the best to you.


  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    Unless it’s enough money to buy Charlton Athletic then let him live there rent free. If it is enough but the club, make him chairman and he can live in a 12k a month flat and drive a nice car.

    seriously, letting him live there rent free is the right thing to do. 
  • Henry Irving
    Henry Irving Posts: 85,225
    If nothing else speak to the partner to build a rebuild a bridge between your father and uncle, find out about him as a person and a relative. If he been living or married to a woman you'd see her as an aunt so really he's an uncle also.

    For whatever reason he didn't leave a will so the property is yours to do with as you wish but it seems from your question that you want to do the right thing so, as others have said, find out what the situation is, speak to your uncle's partner and agree a way forward that makes you feel you've done the right thing.
  • LenGlover
    LenGlover Posts: 31,651
    edited June 2020
    I am not a solicitor but I do know that if there is no will then the rules of intestacy will come into play.

    Are you 100% sure that your Uncle and his partner did not have a Civil Partnership or Marriage? If they did then the Estate could be his after all.

    However, assuming they didn't, then there is an order of who gets what. Given the age parents are out of it meaning it moves on to siblings or, if deceased, their offspring. In other words your Dad and any other of his brothers and sisters or, if deceased their offspring so you need to be sure there are no others with a potential claim. It might not be just you. Do you have brothers and or sisters? Or other surviving Aunts and Uncles or if deceased surviving cousins?

    However, assuming it is just you then letting the Partner live there rent free or, for legal purposes, at a peppercorn rent, which is effectively the same thing, as long as he wishes is probably the moral 'right thing' to do as others have already stated.

    I would advise satisfying yourself that you are the only one with a claim to the estate though as you don't want any nasty shocks down the line. 

    Presumably you will have to administer the Estate too so make sure there are no creditors by advertising in local rags and The Gazette before you settle it for the same reason re nasty shocks down the line.
  • LenGlover
    LenGlover Posts: 31,651
    Gasman said:
    Wow. Just spoken to my uncles partner. My uncle died over 2 years ago. Bit of a confusing chat but nice. My uncles partner is 87 now ,has his own flat and plenty of his own money. He did leave a will to me because as a kid i was nice to him when he came out as gay. I dont recal that. He has been looking for me for 2 poxy years. They split up years ago but was sole partners only. His partner so happy to contact me as he not interested in any assest just didnt want state having it.  A solicitor will contact me soon. Thankyou for advice above. Still feel bloody guilty for not having contact tho.
    You may have lost touch for family reasons but it sounds as though your Uncle truly valued the humanity and compassion you showed him when you were in touch.

    That you helped him emotionally at a tough time should console you in this time of loss.  
  • Carter
    Carter Posts: 14,247
    Gasman said:
    Wow. Just spoken to my uncles partner. My uncle died over 2 years ago. Bit of a confusing chat but nice. My uncles partner is 87 now ,has his own flat and plenty of his own money. He did leave a will to me because as a kid i was nice to him when he came out as gay. I dont recal that. He has been looking for me for 2 poxy years. They split up years ago but was sole partners only. His partner so happy to contact me as he not interested in any assest just didnt want state having it.  A solicitor will contact me soon. Thankyou for advice above. Still feel bloody guilty for not having contact tho.
    You sound like a decent person and I'd like to think I would have the same guilt in the same situation. Your uncle had the right idea, whether or not he had contact with you he remembered a kindness as a child or young man. 


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  • swords_alive
    swords_alive Posts: 4,261
    Chuffed with that @gasman. Well done to your younger self too!
  • Henry Irving
    Henry Irving Posts: 85,225
    A small act of human kindness by you when you were younger obviously meant something to your uncle so be happy and accept the inheritance in that light.

    The partner sounds like one of life's good guys.

    In what has been a nasty, hateful world in the last week in particular your story has given me lift and reminded of the good that there is in most people.

    Maybe there will be, as the Isley Brothers sang, a harvest for the world.
  • Gasman
    Gasman Posts: 92
    Thanks chaps. 
  • KiwiValley
    KiwiValley Posts: 3,379
    Sounds a bit like Great Expectations.
  • RodneyCharltonTrotta
    RodneyCharltonTrotta Posts: 14,827
    Sounds a great story and very uplifting.

    Goes without saying that do not part with any money if you are asked for anything and don't sign anything without trusted legal advice. 

    It is probably all above board and there is more good in the world than bad but worth keeping wits about you at times like this. 

    Probably what it is at face value of course but always worth exercising caution when dealing with complete strangers out of the blue like this.

  • Siv_in_Norfolk
    Siv_in_Norfolk Posts: 4,057
    Great story. Thanks for posting.

    Look how our actions and kindness pay forward. 
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,633
    Sounds like you’ve got a place to go to, if you feel unwell.

    Good luck with it all, Gasman.
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,791
    Interesting situation.  It's good to hear your uncle's partner is OK and he sounds like a decent chap, having spent two years looking for you.

    You probably don't need extra legal advice, the solicitor handling the estate should sort everything - and charge nicely for doing so, of course.
  • LargeAddick
    LargeAddick Posts: 32,561
    If there is a solicitor involved I’m more than a little surprised that they didn’t use a track and trace agency to find you as opposed to leaving it up to your late uncle’s partner.

    Still don’t understand why people don’t leave a will. Your Uncle obviously wanted you to inherit but if they’d not been able to track you down his inheritance may have ended up going to the state.
  • iaitch
    iaitch Posts: 10,230
    It's one of those I'll do it next week things and then never get round to it.

    Just updated mine after 5 years, at least you know who its going to and not some long lost relative you've not seen or heard from for years.

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